Okay, but did birds originate the open relationship?

Okay, But... Birds

E26. We borrowed a phrase from human dating and tried to pin it on birds. Turns out they never needed the rulebook. Dr. Wenfei Tong, biologist and author of Bird Love, joins Scott to unpack what bird partnerships actually look like once you stop projecting our scripts onto them, from females who run the territory to males who guard their paternity in deeply weird ways.

In this episode you'll hear about:

  • Why the drabbest little brown bird in the garden has one of the wildest sex lives in the animal kingdom
  • How a female calls the shots when she holds the better real estate, and what the males do about it
  • The cloacal pecking payoff you have to hear to believe

All audio, video, and images in this episode are either original to Okay, But... Birds (© Okay Media, LLC) or used under license/permission from the respective rights holders. Bird media from the Macaulay Library is used courtesy of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology as follows:

  • Laysan Albatross audio contributed by Ted Miller, ML117679
  • Black-capped Chickadee audio contributed by Jay McGowan, ML202239
  • Spotted Sandpiper audio contributed by Lucas DeCicco, ML516963
  • Northern Jacana audio contributed by Gerrit Vyn, ML140224
  • Red-necked Phalarope audio contributed by Bob McGuire, ML235440
  • Black Coucal audio contributed by Myles E. W. North, ML3084
  • Papuan Eclectus audio contributed by Thane Pratt, ML169808
  • Red-winged Blackbird audio contributed by Wil Hershberger, ML249827
  • Red-winged Blackbird audio contributed by Wil Hershberger, ML94215
  • Red-capped Manakin audio contributed by David L. Ross Jr., ML57360
  • Blue-footed Booby audio contributed by Robert I. Bowman, ML85906
  • Greater Flamingo audio contributed by Myles E. W. North, ML2443
  • Dunnock audio contributed by Niels Krabbe, ML249162

More description

E26. We borrowed a phrase from human dating and tried to pin it on birds. Turns out they never needed the rulebook. Dr. Wenfei Tong, biologist and author of Bird Love, joins Scott to unpack what bird partnerships actually look like once you stop projecting our scripts onto them, from females who run the territory to males who guard their paternity in deeply weird ways.

In this episode you'll hear about:

  • Why the drabbest little brown bird in the garden has one of the wildest sex lives in the animal kingdom
  • How a female calls the shots when she holds the better real estate, and what the males do about it
  • The cloacal pecking payoff you have to hear to believe

All audio, video, and images in this episode are either original to Okay, But... Birds (© Okay Media, LLC) or used under license/permission from the respective rights holders. Bird media from the Macaulay Library is used courtesy of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology as follows:

  • Laysan Albatross audio contributed by Ted Miller, ML117679
  • Black-capped Chickadee audio contributed by Jay McGowan, ML202239
  • Spotted Sandpiper audio contributed by Lucas DeCicco, ML516963
  • Northern Jacana audio contributed by Gerrit Vyn, ML140224
  • Red-necked Phalarope audio contributed by Bob McGuire, ML235440
  • Black Coucal audio contributed by Myles E. W. North, ML3084
  • Papuan Eclectus audio contributed by Thane Pratt, ML169808
  • Red-winged Blackbird audio contributed by Wil Hershberger, ML249827
  • Red-winged Blackbird audio contributed by Wil Hershberger, ML94215
  • Red-capped Manakin audio contributed by David L. Ross Jr., ML57360
  • Blue-footed Booby audio contributed by Robert I. Bowman, ML85906
  • Greater Flamingo audio contributed by Myles E. W. North, ML2443
  • Dunnock audio contributed by Niels Krabbe, ML249162

2026-06-11 35 min Transcript
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