The Grade Cricketer

Why does everything have to be a tie? England level the series at The Oval thanks to Joe Denly's new-dad-sugar-hit runs and Stuart Broad bowling kryptonite. Australia retain the Ashes, but lets focus on the negatives and how they can bounce back at The Gabba in November. Dean Jones is on the phone from India to discuss being King of The World, batting with a Harrow sized stick in 1st grade and why, because of global warming, his 210 in Madras will soon be the new norm. #AskTGC involves Steve Waugh on a balcony, closing a microwave with a well-timed leave and and Englishman having Steve Smith Stockholm Syndrome.

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How the Ashes was retained (won); Smith and greatness; reaction and salt; Paine, Warner, Broad, the quicks, everyone. Chris Rogers joins, while AskTGC covers batting awards, corporate life, swings, and hypothetical trysts with AB De Villiers.

Big ol' thanks to our friends at Budgy Smuggler 👍

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We catch up on how we're supposed to feel post-Headingley and look forward to Old Trafford for the 4th Ashes Test. Khawaja is out, Starc is in and Mitch Marsh is supposed to be a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Steve Waugh tells us what it's like being on the balcony during a Test and making a nation feel safe - as well as answering 'that' question about watching his son play; and Doug Bollinger tells us about how fast he bowled with a two-piece ball on astro turf in park cricket before playing for Australia. #AskTGC involves seeing Johnny Bairstow at Twickenham, knocking-in a bat in an apartment block, showering in Smugglers and what cricket has done to one 17 year old in the final year of school.

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That hurt. Please join us as we mine the depths of our despair for therapy and entertainment, chat with The Daily Mirror’s Dean Wilson about ‘Stokesy’, catch up with Tim Bresnan about Mother Cricket, the Joel Wilson Institute and giving Steve Smith gloves, before AskTGC covers timepieces, Trump, shadow batting and Marnus.

We appreciate the support of Budgy Smuggler. Ben Stokes wears them. So do we.

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We preview the 3rd Ashes Test at Headingley, who's going to bowl and how England are now Australia thanks to climate change. Marnus Labushagne joins the show to tell us what it's like facing Jofra Archer in the dark and to who he thinks his club side should pick on the weekend in their upcoming pre-season game. #AskTGC involves being catfished to strip and watching The Bachelor over the Ashes.

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It’s Pez and Dave reviewing Lord's as Jofra elicits feelings; Smith’s knocked out; ScoMo pipes up; and Marnus both saves and is saved. Trent Copeland then talks Warner, 'claiming it' and SOK stories; and AskTGC is a litany of general male insecurity.

Huge shout to Budgy Smuggler: our partners and friends in merchandise and Marnus-worship.

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Recorded from Hyde Park and the Australian team hotel on Lord’s Test Eve, we talk full cupboards, XIs, and Boulangeries, before chatting with Peter Siddle about transformations and Jofra. AskTGC looks at Dads on Instagram and urinal tactics, before we get swooped by a flock of Swans.

Huge shout to our great mates at Budgy Smuggler for supporting our UK endeavours, and this Ashes podcast series.

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We're live in the UK; Australia makes history; the Hollies Stand experience; Marcus North; and AskTGC covers changing teams, friendship dynamics, and various social capital issues.

Huge thanks to Budgy Smuggler for their support of our UK tour.

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Low scores, batting collapses, Ireland's 38, intra-club trials and likely XI's. Cameron Bancroft joins the show to talk about shower politics in the Australia team, yoga and wearing a brown singlet for a TV interview. #AskTGC involves Italian girlfriends, Porsche drivers and running out a 14 year old.

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The question of the World Cup asterisk; Australia’s retention of the Women’s Ashes and their (outstanding) decision to bat on; Cricket Australia inflating its average; Warne’s Ashes XII; Alex Carey; #AskTGC covers partner persuasion, counselling, monarchists, and grade cricketers-turned-administrators.

Today's show is brought to you by M.J. Bale

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England win the World Cup on a countback in quote possibly the most ridiculous game you've ever seen (not involving Australia). We talk about super overs, DRS, deflected floors, boundary catches, relationships, rule changes, Lord's and Bairstow's salad. #AskTGC comes in from Sydney, India, Canada and New Zealand. Novak Djokovic wins his 5th Wimbledon slam. Not sure what happened at Silverstone today.

Today's show brought to you by M.J.Bale

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Australia are out of the World Cup after getting absolutely hammered by England in their seminary's final. We discuss how to pick a wrong'un on TV, new faces and blood on jerseys. Martin "Two-Toe" Guptill throws New Zealand into back-to-back World Cup Finals, but was Dohni playing for red ink? Izzy Westbury joins the show from the UK, presumably just to laugh at us. #AskTGC gets into escaping the clutches of the game, seeing Shaun Tait in a lift and elements of a coaster contracts.

Today's show brought to you by M.J.Bale

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The rain-delayed India v NZ semi is another great showcase for our sport, Australia decides on a dangerous, all-club stretching circle, Ellyse Perry talks about that 7-fa and Scott Morrison’s FaceTime technique, while #AskTGC covers net bowling, Adam Parore, Tinder, job interviews and Kindles.

Today's show brought to you by M.J.Bale

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Faf aka Alpha Du Plessis is Dad, England v Australia semi, TMS’s Dan Norcross joins to talk Women’s Ashes and Ponting’s scar, Chris Lynn talks about delaying his first grade debut to play with mates, and AskTGC covers Kipling D Williams, how to quit, New York Pride Month, funny people, and normal girlfriends.

This week's show is brought to you by MJ Bale.

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Bairstow’s the big rare alpha salad dog, Anderson’s calf, drop-in wickets and the AFL death star, Adam Collins talks Women’s Ashes, then #AskTGC delves into ironic cricket, handling a young alpha, handling a wife alpha, and the questionable importance of pins.

This week's show is brought to you by MJ Bale.

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England comfortably beat India at Edgbaston to keep their World Cup hopes alive. The 31 run victory meaning that victory against New Zealand will guarantee a semi final place, so we celebrate Kiwi culture. We also talk about the importance of MS Dohni's red ink in the run chase and how legacy building is what Obama did. Sort of. George Bailey is on the phone from Tasmania to ask what the score is and Ali Martin from The Guardian calls from a Birmingham pub to tell us that it's coming home again. #AskTGC gets into What England Want Part II, Australian housemates, asserting alpha dominance over your wife, girlfriends with ulterior motives and the Goulburn Supermax XI.

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Pakistan beat Afghanistan in a thriller, as Gulbadin double pythons his way into cricket shithousery. Australia win again, beating their friends across the ditch at Lord's. Australia may never lose again but what does it all mean? Will Macpherson joins from the same pub in Kennington to talk England, Bairstow, TV deals and Edgbaston as we look forward to the biggest game of the World Cup so far, England v India. #AskTGC involves bench press, grandma's sledging and batting in headphones.

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Pakistan, Aladdin and shades of 1992, Atherton calls for England courage, the rise of Australian sporting exceptionalism, an interview with Kurtis Patterson, then #AskTGC covers whether or not Johnny Bairstow is James Harden, keeping lower graders in their lane, and an older brother with poor literacy skills.

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The odour of fear hummed high out of Lords overnight, as England succumbed timidly to Australia on a green seamer. Fear governs all. Are England gone? Why are they gone? What is wrong? What has happened? Joining us to survey the carnage is Chief Sports Writer at The Guardian, Barney Ronay. We then announce a raft of excellent guests for our live shows in Australia and the UK, before finishing with an AskTGC that covers the psychological advantages of losing, decolonisation, sexual trysts on the centre square, handling the Chop King tag, and truly hating your housemates.

Special thanks to Toby Shain, Adrian Leung, Julia Dowe, and our sponsors.

Music credit: DJ Quads

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Mohammed Shami takes a hat-trick in the final over vs Afghanistan but does it count? New Zealand remain undefeated in the tournament after a thrilling finish to their game against the West Indies and Carlos Brathwaite is the biggest human alive. Lasith Malinga beats England despite not having done a pre-season fitness Test since the reign for Arjuna Ranatunga. Mark Butcher joins the show from the UK to talk about what's happening with England in the World Cup and we hear from his new album with his single 'Country'. #AskTGC goes into valid visas, alpha dogs, embarrassing moments in front of school children and Mark Ramprakash.

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Dave Warner hits 166 balls, so what's the issue? Bangladesh score their highest ever ODI score, yet still fall short of Australia's massive first innings score. Adam Collins joins the show from a Tesco in Nottinghamshire where he tells of just how poorly Bangladesh have been treated by CA over the years, why this Australian team is full of blokes with great salad and what to do during the now inevitable 11 dead rubbers during the World Cup.

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Kane Williamson takes NZ back to the top of the World Cup table after beating Faf du Plessis' rig and South Africa. Eoin Morgan hits more sixes than you ever have in your entire life, as Rashid Khan goes for nearly as many runs as Mick Lewis did that time in South Africa. Shikhar Darwan is out of the World Cup as Rishant Pant joins the Indian Squad. Steve Smith is shadow batting at 7am, Rwanda dismiss Mali for 6, Daniel Gallen joins from the UK to talk about South Africa's dismal World Cup and #AskTGC discusses stripping, passive aggression, face salad and life decisions.

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Australia go atop of the World Cup leaderboard after a win against Sri Lanka. Aaron Finch scores 153 but Sri Lanka don't have a swimming pool at their hotel. We talk (loosely) about India v Pakistan, Kashmir and viewership records. Vithushan Ehantharajah joins from the UK to talk about the Premier League, England TV rights and how Mitrch Starc is underrated. Ryan Harris is on the phone to talk Crossfit, injuries, bowling Alistair Cook, World Cup and getting out of grade cricket. #AskTGC returns to shower urinating, sloppy rigs and recognising 30's.

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England easily beat the West Indies after Joe Root's second World Cup hundred in the tournament while England just start giving blokes a hit. Rain threatens to end the tournament, Michael Holding is told to lie about the ICC's umpiring panel and their abilities. #AskTGC delves into misfields, wife swapping, urinating on people in the showers and dad's morality.

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Reading into Australia’s latest win via Warner, Finch, Cummins, and the support staff. Mel Farrell joins to talk pubs, rain, rival telecommunications companies and India, and AskTGC veers toward aggression.

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India dusts Australia with ease, Collo muses over Warner’s post-Sandpaper persona, Ireland and World Cup hero Niall O’Brien discusses playing grade cricket with Shoaib Akhtar and against Richard Chee Quee, and #AskTGC

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Australia v West Indies, great catches and even better sunglasses. Nathan Coulter-Nile answers the eternal question of what he is. South Africa say 'thanks, but no thanks' to AB de Villiers as South Africa's tournament looks all but over. India and Rohit Sharma come to the party. Are we sleeping on New Zealand or Bangladesh? Adam Collins joins from Trent Bridge, #AskTGC.

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England had the loss they needed, Bangladesh need to play Tests in Australia and Sri Lanka v Afghanistan was "fourth grade". We catch up with Vithushan Ehantharaja from Cricbuzz to discuss fielding metrics and appropriated football songs, before #AskTGC unpredictably covers father issues and toxic masculinity.

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Australia and Afghanistan, New Zealand and Sri Lanka, West Indies and Pakistan. Stumplosions, beards, booing and everyone is bouncing everyone. We speak to Ali Martin from The Guardian and Shaun Tait joins the show to speak about bowling really, really fast all before we answer some questions about parental advice, moustaches, the worst ever debut and scoring hundreds in a losing side.

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In the first of our World Cup supplementary casts: England do it easily; Stokes tactical training pays off; King Joffra; the Southgate influence; Prince Harry sledging; The Standard's Will Macpherson joins from The Dog House pub at The Oval; #AskTGC

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We make a huge UK announcement; talk booing, hypocrisy and Empire; catch up with Izzy Westbury to walk through the Royal Commission, What’s App Groups and state-sponsored sledging; chat about circuits and The Espy with the future of Australian Cricket, Will Pucovski; then take your questions with #AskTGC

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We talk kits, comebacks, volunteers, Gallipoli, skinfolds, and England winning. Dan Brettig joins; so does Ed Cowan. #AskTGC closes, and contains the usual hybrid of Dad issues & thinly-veiled self-promotion. It's great to be back.

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"There was lots of talk of gas and trucks," said Cameron White, who earlier unleashed a Nutrigrain-worthy roar after overseeing the Stars' capitulation in BBL 08. Rob Quiney also joined to provide the Stars perspective, and before that we caught up with Dan Brettig, author of Bradman and Packer - the two greatest silverbacks in Australian cricket lore. There's a season review in there too. Thanks to all who've made this our best podcast season yet. We'll be back.

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Fresh from the Australian Cricket Awards, our voices are in a deeper register (result) as we gather wearily to discuss the red (black) carpet, and to take your many and varied questions.

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Australia dismantled Sri Lanka and all problems are now solved, England capitulated to the West Indies and it means nothing, we catch up with Ben Jones - The Wiz from CricViz (our words), before chatting with Glenn Maxwell about matters of national interest. In our view, #AskTGC is worth a listen too.

As we near season's end, a big thanks to Toby Shain for mixing our show. He is the voice behind Chop King Cologne, Bravago and all the other (good) fake ads we do, and what a velvety voice it is.

Finally, if you're looking for post-1975 after-dinner material, contact us at gradecricketer@gmail.com. We're probably affordable, and we travel.

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Australia rediscovers that sweet opiate of winning, The Heat claim the WBBL, why the BBL feels bad, England out for 77, deferring to the cult of Lloyd Pope, and your #AskTGC questions

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Discussing the ODI results we've already forgotten, Australia's deep, deep needs against Sri Lanka, Kurtis Patterson's warranted inclusion, the WBBL semi's - also known as the best cricketing moments of the summer, the BBL trudging on, Australia's next wunderkind Jason Sangha, and Adam Zampa, who combines with us to cover grade cricket, veganism, and rare unit spinners. As ever, your (and our) Fatherhood issues close the show, with #AskTGC.

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The public square was baying for new selection blood, and we (sort of) received it. We talk wunderkinds, the ODIs, Maxwell and the BBL before chatting with Ben Horne, who actually knows what's going on. We then catch up with leading BBL wicket-taker Steve O'Keefe, who also has a vast array of property. The AskTGC questions are long but satisfying.

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India claim history, Australia claim unwanted records. We gleefully wade into the ocean of takes on Australian cricket this week, before chatting with Mel McLaughlin who lifts the lid on Seven v Fox (note: they’re friends) and stokes Fleming and Hodge’s desired rivalry with us. We then catch up with Moises Henriques in a wide-ranging chat, taking in his unrivalled prodigal status, his national ambitions, and whether he remembers Dave playing against him, among other things. Your questions wrap things up.

Shout out to Toby Shain for the sounds, and we extend a huge congrats to the man on the safe arrival of his beautiful daughter.

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Once again, the sky is falling in on Australian cricket. But what does it all mean? Jim Maxwell is on the line to unfairly compare the worst Australian Test teams in his 300 Tests calling the game and Peter Lalor gives us his case for the increasingly bizarre selection policy currently happening.

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The Curse of Faf's Towel is lifted as Australia square the ledger 1-1. We talk verbals and the Netflix generation, nod to Perth in all its alpha glory, catch up with Geoff Lemon and his new book Steve Smith's Men, and speak with 22 year old veteran Matt Renshaw, who talks us through his efforts to return to the national set-up, life under JL, and THAT innings for Toombul DCC. #AskTGC closes matters.

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It's great to talk about actual cricket. India knocked over Australia with clinical precision, we pay homage to their bowling quartet, we wonder whether Australia needs long-term investment or off-the-shelf products, we look at the WBBL with Brittany Carter, and catch up with NZ debutant, Asian series winning off spinner and evidently most lovely guy of all time, Will Somerville. AskTGC closes it out.

As we hit our 50th show, big thanks to all those who've supported along the way. Especially Toby Shain, who's corrected many an audio pitfall and is generally responsible for anything that sounds good on the show.

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After a lead-up as wild as Matt Renshaw's Toombul wagonwheel, Test Cricket is finally upon us. We talk selection intrigue, net session kit, Virat (of course), and the WBBL, before Gerard Whateley jumps on the line to debrief us on THAT missive from Pup. We're then joined by the world beating Alyssa Healy, who runs us through women's grade cricket tropes, carrying the weight of the nation, keeping, and being bumped by Dave's brother at school level. #AskTGC closes matters.

Our live shows are on sale now, too. Dates:

Adelaide 6 December, Rhino Room

Perth 14 December, WACA Boundary Room

Melbourne 27 December, Corner Hotel

Sydney 3 January, Comedy Store

Special thanks to Toby Shain for mixing our show again. He is also the voice behind Chop King Cologne and all the other (good) fake ads we do, which he will not mind us saying.

Finally, if you're looking for MCs with post-1975 after-dinner material, contact us at gradecricketer@gmail.com. We're probably affordable, and we travel.

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The Aussie Women show the way, Kohli arrives with the blade, Why Marcus Harris will now be known as 'Boogie', Pakistan, and some huge TGC news round out the opening proceedings here. Richard Hinds then joins to coherently examine the commerce behind female and grassroots cricket, before Victoria's favourite son Brad Hodge does us the pleasure of explaining why Khawaja was probably right last week, and how good it is to wear a Rajasthan Royals helmet while playing for East Sandringham CC. Your questions ice the game.

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Australia's pre-series navel gazing is in full swing, and this time not even a Shield Shootout™ can sort the chaff from the chaff. To feel better, we caught up with Australia's new batting saviour, Usman Khawaja, and sought multiple undertakings that he'd make everything okay. Meanwhile, England are doing things Australia men can't do, and the women's team show us how it's done. AskTGC is the usual carnival of alpha's, beta's and short stories.

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It's a special, in-person interview with the newly minted CEO of Cricket Australia, and one not to miss. Yes, he really does have crystal blue eyes. But fear not, despite those baby blues, we asked some questions. Tune in for TGC x Kevin Roberts on grassroots, 'marching' blokes from the building, the culture review, views on Warner/Smith returning, and nightmares about being timed out. Before that, how bad we are at ODI cricket, and after that, #AskTGC.

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Australian cricket has caved in, again. We talk Warner, culture, Peever, Taylor, and everything else, before Dan Brettig helps us wade through the vagaries of cricket administration. Of course, we only deal in Test Captains now, so we locked horns with the greatest keeper-batsman of all time, Adam Gilchrist. Nothing more needs to be said: it's a bona fide must listen. We take your questions to round things out.

Our live shows are on sale now, too. Dates:

Adelaide 6 December, Rhino Room

Perth 14 December, WACA Boundary Room

Melbourne 27 December, Corner Hotel

Sydney 3 January, Comedy Store

Special thanks to Toby Shain for mixing our show again. He is also the voice behind Chop King Cologne and all the other (good) fake ads we do, which he will not mind us saying.

Finally, if you're looking for post-1975 after-dinner material, contact us at gradecricketer@gmail.com. We're probably affordable, and we travel.

EXTRA HOUR of AskTGC EVERY WEEK: https://patreon.com/gradecricketer

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It was lively, it was special, and the audio worked. On this week's show, we spoke with the 40th and 46th Test Captains of Australia. Tim Paine joined first; we talked about culture, change, and Shaun Young sledging his frosted tips as a fourteen year-old. Steven Roger Waugh came next, and regaled us with stories about Bankstown Oval, Baggy Green mythology, and why Dave should consider buying a teddy bear. Tugger also spoke about The Captains Ride 2018, and how he's focusing on that, not book promotion. #AskTGC rounds things out, as ever.

Special thanks to Toby Shain for mixing this week's show, as well as his voiceovers. We thank Adrian Leung for the music.

We also MC events now. If you're looking for post-1975 after-dinner material, contact us at gradecricketer@gmail.com. We're affordable, and we travel.

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Adam Collins - 22m:26s

Jason 'Dizzy' Gillespie - 36m:47s

#AskTGC - 1hr:56s

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Identity. Culture. The Australian Way. It’s all up for grabs this summer as we launch season three of the TGC cast in customary too-long and too-loose fashion. Tune in for Gideon’s shakedown of the true sandpaper cause, stay for Ed’s take on JL's new regime. Only AskTGC remains the same. There’s a new fake ad, and there's a new real home: The Diamantina Podcast Network. It's great to be on board.

Special thanks to Toby Shain for the voiceovers, and Adrian Leung for the music.

We also MC events now. If you're looking for post-1975 after-dinner material, contact us at gradecricketer@gmail.com. We can travel.

EXTRA HOUR of AskTGC EVERY WEEK: https://patreon.com/gradecricketer

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