The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

"When I was a horny young kid, I was like, 'Damn. Nicole Kidman.'"

JuJu is here with his Top 5 Tom Cruise Moments and to clean up the show, compliment Greg Cote, update the Polls, and give Tony an on-ramp to continue promoting his Substack, but first... You know about that Eyes Wide Shut?

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"I got into sports media because I like sports."

We discuss the Holly Rowe story with Jess, and she tells us why she is so tired of constantly talking about incidents like this instead of the actual games themselves. We also touch on a lot of CFB topics, the WNBA's return after a break for the FIBA World Cup, and the worst flight experiences we've ever had. Does Mike Elko look like he should be walking around with a candle on a little plate? Plus, Roy claims the U is back because they're returning to Nike as their uniform provider, and Greg Cote gives us the worst two minutes in the show's history.

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"Why do we always have Vaudeville as our go-to?"

After dominating Colin Cowherd in Week 1, 5-1, Clark Connors is back for another swing at Celebrity Prognosticator, and Dan might never let him go. He offers his condolences to Greg Cote after his layoff at the Miami Herland, and it seems the two superstars may be making peace. Afterward, we discuss Eddie Johnson claiming Kawhi Leonard may be held out of the Hall of Fame for a couple of years, New York Mets fans applauding Pete Alonso's 300th home run, and whether the standard for the New York Yankees is too high.

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"What's with this cobbler bullshit?"

Remember when James Franklin said "Hey, Michael," over and over again? We got the Michael. Michael Howes of the Baltimore Sun joins the show. That leads us to an important question: is it right for a reporter to refer to a coach as "Coach" during a media session? Plus, Greg and Dan share stories of tough interactions with Don Shula, Zaslow makes Tom Cruise the Derrick Henry of movies, and Troy Aikman contradicts himself.

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"But Tati's Llamas went 10-6 in Week 1."

Chris introduces Trysta to the concept of the PFPI, Dan rummages for pennies, Greg shares his comfort with low PSI in his tires, and Zas, Roy, and Tony dismiss Pablo's long-winded & self-aggrandizing question to Adam Silver.

Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Trysta, Roy, Chris, Tony, and Zaslow.

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"My brother was enjoying his birthday!"

JuJu is here to rename the Joker of the Day, and he has some Show Awards, Flowers of the Day, and hey... anyone wanna talk Sydney Sweeney?

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"Hey, Michael."

Is Lane Kiffin going to get the LeBron-in-Cleveland treatment with his upcoming return to Ole Miss? Is it okay for Arch Manning to laugh at AI of Steve Sarkisian hitting Holly Rowe? Has Dan Lanning already been left behind in college football? Will Tony Romo ever work again?

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"Week 1 is a prolific liar."

Kyle Brandt has the best jawline in sports TV (maybe outside of Howie Long). He's here ahead of the release of his book, "Do You: How To Bet On Yourself by Being Yourself," to discuss the strength of sideline reporters, his Chicago Bears and their electric offense, whether Derrick Henry is the best RB of all time, and if Sydney Sweeney stole his look. Plus, we get to the first Tony's Top 5 of the season, which introduces the first Tony Snell Cross Sport Wind Sprint Award.

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"As there is in all of football..."

Dan watched the first half of last night's MNF game, then went back to take notes instead of watching the second half, but while he did that, Zas watched his stories, and Greg watched the Emmy Awards. Plus, Greg invents a new phrase just before announcing some HUGE breaking news regarding his Top 70 Catchphrase Countdown.

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"The dog never does his business when I walk him."

Greg Cote is here to walk us through how McClatchy informed him he'd been laid off from the Miami Herald, what he plans to do with his free time, how he'll handle the rest of his career, and the column he's most proud of. But first, the Jai Alai season starts today; Zas and Trysta show some truly awful judgment, and Jeremy, unsurprisingly, makes it all about himself.

Today's cast: Dan, Greg, Trysta, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, and Zaslow.

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Football is back, which means it’s officially time to panic over sample sizes of one! Mike Ryan Ruiz and Tony Calatayud swing by to publicly recant the terrible Week 1 takes they immediately regret. We ask the tough questions: Are the Rams and Chargers cooked, or just sleeping in? Tony breaks down why the Giants are complete, unadulterated fool's gold, and we roast the Steelers for somehow making a victory look like a mid-afternoon snoozefest. Finally, comedian Brad Williams joins us live from inside a Red Robin to preview Broncos vs. Chiefs—assuming his bottomless fries don't distract him first.
ALERT: Football America! Will be live every Monday this season at 12:45pm ET. Join us on YouTube. Drop into the comments. We'll weave them into the show.

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"Don't try to do that."

Before he gets to an update on The Polls, JuJu has thoughts on his Bills, Jameis Winston's cologne habits, and Caitlin Clark's response to a reporter.

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"That's right, she's dating a black guy!"

After Amin takes over the show for his Weekend Observations, including a trip back in time to tell 2013 Mina Kimes what her life would be like, we finally get to Dan's No. 1 Observation from the Football Weekend. Plus, who is the best comp for Jalen Hurts?

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"Who's more disciplined: USF or the Army?"

Dan accused Brian Hartline of being un-American for USF's incredible last-second victory against Army, and he's here to defend himself against those accusations. He also explains what it was like to recruit WR at Ohio State, his thoughts on the Tampa vs. Miami Cuban Sandwiches, and plays a game of Douche or No Douche. Then, Myles Garrett gets surgery, TJ Watt is the better brother, and Jaxson Dart thrives.

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"ALRIGHT, WE'RE GONNA GO OUT HERE-"

Does Chris Cote give you a Barney Rubble vibe? Plus, Dan delivers his No. 24 through No. 16 Observations From the Football Weekend including one of the worst contracts ever and one of the best names ever. Plus, why did College GameDay bring in Ted Cruz to spew propaganda for the Save College Sports Act? And is Dan Lanning a Mario Cristobal merchant?

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"Do we have to talk Dolphins?"

Dan has his Top 29 Thoughts on the Football Weekend, but before we can get to No.'s 29-25, we need to hear the group's feelings about the Miami Herland's decision to lay off Greg Cote on his birthday. Seriously, he got the call ON HIS BIRTHDAY. Plus, Dolphins? Cam Ward? Caleb Williams? Carson Wentz? Guardian Helmet 2.0? Punching?

Today's cast: Dan, Zaslow, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony.

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After 54 years, Greg Cote was laid off from The Miami Herald. ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What are his feelings? What is the fate of this show? Will The Singing Sportswriter continue to sing and sports write?
Tune in to find out!
Also: Greg retires from bowling, Chris Cote is an ordained minister, and we unveil Catchphrase #2 (but is it really?)
Stick around for Dad Jokes, Three Facts Jack, Dolphins and Miami Hurricanes recap, and is it time to have a conversation about Justin Herbert?
 Follow along with the Cote family this NFL season at PFPI.ME
But seriously. On his birthday?

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Football is back, and Dave kicks things off with a wild premise: why the modern NFL season is basically Homer’s Odyssey. Then, Sports Illustrated’s Matt Verderame stops by and brings the heat for Chiefs vs. Broncos. Matt breaks down why Patrick Mahomes is about to remind the world who reigns supreme, why Bo Nix’s mistakes will cost Denver dearly, and why this division rivalry is bound to come down to a single point. Finally, we lock in our game picks before we roast the J-E-T-S.

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Dan has come in on a Friday to share his incredibly detailed and thorough thoughts on the University of Miami's 77-7 win over the FAMU Rattlers last night.

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"That's why we say hashtag..."

Matthew Berry is here to deliver his best Week 1 notes on Fantasy Football, including a couple of Drakes. Plus, um... the 9/11 tribute in the first hour of the show was less than stellar. It's time we relive it.

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"Via me."

Christian McCaffrey looks cracker, Noah Eagle pronounces Melbourne, and Dave and Zas worry about there being zero good football games. Plus, is Mike Evans the most underrated receiver ever? And what do Aaron Rodgers and Jonathan Zaslow have in common? Hint: there's a chair involved.

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"Dave, you remember?"

It's been 25 years since a day we'll never forget: Zaslow, Dave, and the Shipping Container (do their best to) share their memories from 9/11/2001. Then, Matthew & Brady Tkachuk were at the Miami Hurricanes game last night to watch them absolutely annihilate FAMU, and Zaslow loves Cox.  

Today's cast: Zaslow, Your ol' pal Dave Dameshek, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony.

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This week on Because Miami, Billy Corben receives an update on a 2025 shootout involving city of Miami police that killed two and injured two, including innocent bystander Evelyn Valdes. Anglo Martin and Ray Rasco, attorneys representing her family in a federal lawsuit, joins Billy to give that update. Plus, Omar Packard, a Coral Gables resident, uncovered a ploy involving actors with fake addresses to commission meetings to convince politicians to approve measures to get a building constructed in the city. He tells us how.

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Aaron Judge is back, Jack! The Yankees' superstar slugger returns to the lineup this week, and Marlins' radio play-by-play announcer Jack McMullen joins the show to discuss the impact of his return. Plus, Shohei Ohtani continues to struggle along with the Dodgers. What does this mean for their Postseason chances? Speaking of New York, this week's game is Subway Series-themed as Ethan puts Jeremy and Chris to the test in an all-New York version of Pitch Clock Jeopardy!

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"They beat the dog shit out of Hungary."

JuJu has a Thursday Thunder for Thursday Night Football, some big-time show awards, and a Gasbag of the Week.

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"I'm so excited. It's gonna be nasty."

After a new Joey Freshwater song, Jess joins us to talk all things College Football and try to teach David how to sound like he knows what he's talking about. The conversation includes Dabo, BC at Rutgers, Minnesota, one of the greatest throws we've ever seen, and Decaf Metcalf. Plus, Zas asks a question about Texas vs. Ohio State.

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"Yeah, more or less."

Clark Connors claims he's not stealing from Greg Cote, and while we're not sure we believe him, we did welcome the AEW All Elite Wrestler back to the show as our first Celebrity Prognosticator of the season. Plus, we finally break down that Seahawks-Patriots game from last night. And is a band still the same band if there's a new lead singer?

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"B-U-K-K-A-K-E."

Pablo and his phallic microphone have arrived to discuss his latest episode of Pablo Torre Is Right on billionaires buying their way into the tennis world, the latest on the Clippers and their legal defense through PR, how the sports world could shift around Mark Walter, and why he missed the Daejon Love story. Plus, David wants Dan to get sued. And just so you all know, throughout this segment, Mike Ryan is using the telestrator to draw penises and... more... on the screen.

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"He's like Rihanna."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GREG COTE! Dan thinks Zaslow looks ugly today, but as angry as he is about that, he's angrier at the Marlins pitchers. Plus, will the University of Miami get their asses kicked at halftime this weekend? And why did Don Van Natta Jr. defend ESPN's reporting so vigorously? And, most importantly, are we gonna talk about the first NFL game of the season or...?

Today's cast: Dan, David, Zaslow, Roy, Jeremy, Mike, and Tony.

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Steve Levitan knows he may never make another "Modern Family" - and he’s okay with that.

The writer, producer, director, and creator reflects on the once-in-a-lifetime magic of making 250 episodes of "Modern Family" over 11 years, why he considers himself lucky to have experienced it, and what motivates him now that the pressure to prove himself has faded. Steve also shares with Dan how he started off by writing an episode of "The Wonder Years" in 13 hours, then immediately lied to an agent about having a "Cheers" script, before years later getting so deep into Garry Shandling’s head working on "The Larry Sanders Show" that he caught himself asking his friend, “You hate me, don’t you?” Ah, show business… ain’t nothing like it.

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"Like a hobo on a ham sandwich."

JuJu has a Stat of the Day, a sound bite from an old-school Senator, and an update on The Polls.

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"I don't remember what day it was, but it was whatever day you said there were no black people on NFL broadcasts."

After he tells us a cringeworthy story about a fight with his wife over the 'cleaning girl,' Zas explains his new feud with Cam Newton. Plus, the crew goes to The Bucket for the first time this season, Tua sings karaoke, and Greg does what he can to recall what's on his own podcast this week.

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"I'm gonna say it's child abuse, but not for the reason you think."

John Talty wrote the new book on Lane Kiffin, 'Lane Being Lane,' and shares details about Lane's constant chase, his image rehab, and the powerful people pushing narratives around him. Plus, a new game called "Awesome or Child Abuse" and Denny Hamlin calling out an unersious organization.

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"Show me your pack."

Nick with a hard K is ecstatic that Dan is finally willing to stop congratulating himself for Pablo's work on the Clippers story and talk about nothing but football, so, naturally, Dan spends 25 minutes asking Nick why he's not interested in the Clippers story. Also, beads on chairs, QBs and race, and Greg Cote's 4th and 3rd phrases from his Top 75 Catchphrases.

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"I've always wanted to be roofied."

Dabo Swinney keeps putting his foot in his mouth, Greg Cote is ecstatic that the Americans are succeeding at the U.S. Open, David relives a stutter from yesterday, Zaslow is mind-blown by the spread for Miami at Clemson several weeks from now, and Dan apologizes to Ricardo Montalban.

Today's cast: Dan, Greg, David, Roy, Chris, Mike, and Zaslow.

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"Kyle Shanahan, you don't even know what day it is."

Our picks are in for the first Against the Spread of the NFL season. Dan shares his thoughts on The Athletic finding no bias in Dianna Russini's reporting about Mike Vrabel, JuJu reveals his Top 5 Cheaters in Sports History That He Can Think Of, and we unveil the winners for the 2026 Suey Awards!

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"Does it smell like a cheap baby?"

Funniest Thing from the Sports Weekend is back, Jack! Nothing this weekend made us laugh, grimace, and send shivers down our spine more than this trailer for the Nathan Fielder-made documentary about Elizabeth Holmes. Amin joins us to weigh in and share his Weekend Observations, which include his thoughts on college football, how he found out the Chicago White Sox were good this year, and his anger over influencers attempting to overtake the US Open.

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"David doesn't make the rules of Judaism."

With the dust settling a few days after the NBA handed out one of the biggest punishments in NBA history to the Los Angeles Clippers, the gang breaks down the reaction. Dan wonders whether Pablo would get more credit if he worked at a bigger outlet like ESPN, and whether Kawhi Leonard has hung Steve Balmer out to dry by not standing by him and accepting a settlement with the NBA. We also react to the absurdity of umpire Doug Eddings telling St Louis Cardinals pitcher Hancel Rincon not to wear his hat to the side.

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"Do you know what making a ruling with prejudice means?"

According to Zaslow, it was not that great. He explains why the Week 1 slate of college football disappointed, despite crazy finishes in Auburn-Baylor and Michigan-Western Michigan. Is it unethical for bigger programs to start their season with glorified exhibitions against smaller programs? The NFL returns tomorrow, and Tua has been named the starter, but how long will that last? The gang also discusses whether Bill Belichick is on his way to getting fired at UNC and the interesting way David Samson eats French toast.

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"I ruined Shiva, alright. Get it right."

Dan took too long to arrive at the Miami Hurricanes party last year, so he is making sure he is well ahead of it this year. After the Canes drubbed Stanford 45-6, Dan and the crew examine Malachi Toney's impact on the program and where his legacy could end up, how Darian Mensah compares to Carson Beck, and where expectations lie for Miami this season. David Samson returns today and joins us in the studio to tell us how Chris Cote and Roy ruined Shiva.

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"Eagle Eye Nicoletti is the most important and charismatic person I've ever met in my entire life, and if I was in prison, he'd be my first phone call."

Mike Ryan debuts his Top 25 People, and Matthew Berry takes real issue with it. But despite the growing feud, Matthew gives us some of the most important Fantasy Football info possible, including helping Dave make an actual pick during our show's Fantasy Draft. Also, Kevin Clark stops by to settle a score.

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"Why am I bunkmates with Mussolini?"

It's time for the world premiere of The Diary of a Personable Fella, now streaming. Then, let's play Mr. Lister around QBs from the 2000s and Miami Bowl losses, name some QBs who started Super Bowls with two first names, hear some name-dropping from Dameshek, and ask an important question: are you in your own Top 25 Best People?

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"I'll dip into the 70s if I have to, on your ass."

Joe Jerivicius. Dave Dameshek is in the driver's seat, but how will he handle the show's fantasy draft as it goes across the course of the show? Mike Tomczak. Jeremy has a teaser for his new country song before the full debut next hour. Mark Bulger. Mike wants to see BACKUPS for Miami tonight as they destroy Stanford. Chris pitches non-humiliating names for Hurricanes. Matt Cassell. Roy smiles. Seneca Wallace.

Today's cast: Your ol' pal Dave Dameshek, Roy, Chris, Jeremy, and Mike.

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This week on Because Miami, Billy Corben dives into news of the Ron DeSantis administration's misappropriation of funds dedicated towards the Hope Florida Foundation with Seeking Rents writer Jason Garcia. The city manager of North Miami was ousted by the city council in a way that went against the city charter and the Florida Sunshine Law...but there is much more behind this story. North Miami resident and advocate Eileen Bicaba joins the show to talk about the lawsuit that she filed. And Rob Piper, who will be in a runoff vs. Vicki Lopez for a commission seat in District 6 of the city of Miami, comes on to tell the residents why they should vote for him.

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We complete our climb up Mount Lombardi. The AFC and NFC West make their ascent. Can you predict the team that reached the summit? Then our friend Brandon Perna from That’s Good Sports joins the show to chat about life as a Broncos fan after a heartbreaking loss last season in the AFC Title game. He says it’s a weird experience as a fan. Ten-Day Tony also sits in to make sense of proper airplane etiquette.

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We have reached the final month of the MLB season, and Pitch Clock has you ready to go for the stretch run. David Samson returns to tell us which team he believes is most likely to blow their division down the stretch, weigh in on the Ketel Marte drama in Arizona, and whether the Chicago Cubs' offense can carry them to a deep playoff run. And after last week's epic disaster, Jeremy tries to redeem himself and build a better rotation than Chris in this week's game.

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"I was so worried about you, big bro."

JuJu has takes on the Clippers, Kawhi Leonard, and the show intro from earlier today, and he has some show awards that infuriate Dan. Plus, we hear from Fibula.

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"I need your support."

So, Tony asks for a do-over in his tire toss against Matthew Coca. Is that a good idea? Absolutely not. Chris tells Dan his concerns about his editing for the Best Story category. Is that a good idea? Absolutely not. Dan, Zaslow, Dave, and Jeremy want to ask some remaining questions around the Kawhi Leonard scandal. Is that a good idea? Absolutely not.

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"When did your voice get like that?"

Noah Eagle works hard, and despite Dan's belittling introduction, he's here for a good time to talk NFL divisions with the most wiggle room, his original dream job, his stats guy, his former employer, and Nick Collison, for some reason.

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"We had a strategy meeting."

David Samson has read the entire investigation from Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz and shares what he found most interesting about the entire saga. Was this a death blow to the Clippers? Did the punishment change because of Ballmer's repeat offense? And what does David find interesting in MLB?

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