Dan Harris

Editor's Note (March 2026): This episode contains a brief reference to Peter Attia. Since this episode was published, documents released by the Department of Justice have revealed Peter Attia's connection to Jeffrey Epstein. We find these revelations deeply troubling and do not condone any association with Epstein or his activities. Please know that we have removed our interviews with Peter Attia from our library.

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How to pursue fitness without succumbing to the "subtle aggression of self-improvement."

The kickoff episode for the latest installment of an occasional series we do here on the show, called Get Fit Sanely (listen to past – and future – episodes here).

In this candid conversation, managing producer DJ Cashmere talks with Dan about how they manage their mindsets on these issues, and how the interviews we're doing on the subject have and have not impacted them. We'll also preview the guests for this fresh round of Get Fit Sanely, where we cover longevity, Ozempic (and related weight loss drugs), the latest science on exercise, and the Buddhist case for laziness.

The cost of getting lean infographic.

Related Episodes:

• Get Fit Sanely Playlist
• The Science of Self-Compassion | Serena Chen
• The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole
• 3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dj-cashmere-778

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Using your senses to reduce overthinking, turn down the voice in your head, and get out of what these scientists call "the house of habit."

Dr. Zindel Segal is Distinguished Professor of Psychology in Mood Disorders at the University of Toronto Scarborough and a cofounder of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. Professor Norman Farb, PhD, is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto Mississauga, where he directs the Regulatory and Affective Dynamics laboratory.

In this episode we talk about:

• How the brain's default mode network is essential to our survival but also can keep us stuck in rumination and overthinking
• Segal and Farb's simple practice of "sense foraging" and why they say it can help break patterns and thoughts that aren't serving us
• The differences and the similarities between sense foraging and mindfulness

Related Episodes:

Depression and Anxiety: Your Old Enemies, Your Best Friends | Zindel Segal

Gretchen Rubin on: How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships

Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/segal-farb

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The radical shift in perspective that can come when we change our question from "what's wrong with you" to "what happened to you?"

Dr. Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. is the Principal of the Neurosequential Network and a Professor (Adjunct) at the School of Allied Health, Human Services and Sport, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Victoria Australia.

Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children's mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions. His work on the impact of abuse, neglect and trauma on the developing brain has impacted clinical practice, programs and policy across the world. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. Dr. Perry's most recent book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing (2021), co-authored with Oprah Winfrey, has been translated into 26 languages and has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for over 100 weeks after becoming #1 on the list in April of 2021.

Related Episodes:

• The Art and Science of the World's Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson
• How to Live with the Worst Things That Ever Happened to You | Stephanie Foo
• An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham
• Deep Genealogy | Spring Washam
• Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the "Yoda of Silicon Valley" | Jerry Colonna

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/drbruceperry

Additional Resources:

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Radical advice on rethinking success, individualism, and the American dream.

Mia Birdsong is a pathfinder, culture change visionary, and futurist. She is the founding Executive Director of Next River, a think tank and culture change lab for interconnected freedom. In her book How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, and Community, Mia maps swaths of community life and points us toward the promise of our collective vitality.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to build community
• What it looks like in her own life
• Mutuality vs reciprocity
• How to work with resentment and rejection
• The etymological connection between friendship and freedom
• The transformative power of asking for help
• And why she thinks the idea of bootstrapping—or going it alone—is a kind of self-hatred

Related Episodes:

• How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco
• The Many Benefits of a "Paradox Mindset" | Dolly Chugh. Ten Percent Happier
• Escape From Zombieland | Koshin Paley Ellison — Ten Percent Happier
• An Uncomfortable (But Meaningful) Conversation About Race | Lama Rod Owens

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The surprisingly common experience of near death experiences and what science still can't explain about them.

Sebastian Junger is the #1 New York Times Bestselling author of The Perfect Storm, Fire, A Death in Belmont, War and Tribe, and In My Time of Dying. As an award-winning journalist, a contributing editor to Vanity Fair and a special correspondent at ABC News, he has covered major international news stories around the world, and has received both a National Magazine Award and a Peabody Award.

In this episode we talk about:

• Junger's near death experience and the impact it had on him
• The conclusions he came to after investigation the possibilities of an afterlife
• The mysteries of quantum physics and what they might tell us about life and death
• How he believes we can all experience awe on a daily basis

Related Episodes:

How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life | Alua Arthur

Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Why Having a "Cosmic Perspective" Will Help You Do Life Better

George Saunders on: "Holy Befuddlement" and How to Be Less of a "Turd"

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How to find your voice when you need to be heard, learn when it's smart to choose silence, and communicate better with the people who matter most.

Elaine Lin Hering is a former Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. She works with organizations and individuals to build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She has served as the Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Managing Partner for Triad Consulting Group. She has worked with coal miners at BHP Billiton, micro-finance organizers in East Africa, mental health professionals in China, and senior leadership at the US Department of Commerce. She is the author of the forthcoming book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully.

In this episode we talk about:

• How we learn silence and self-editing
• How we often miscalculate the cost-benefit when it comes to speaking up or staying silent
• Elaine's four steps to learn how to speak up and find your voice
• How we can unintentionally silence others, especially those closest to us, and what to do about it

Related Episodes:

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross

Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

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Additional Resources:

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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An acclaimed science writer on how to upgrade your mind by using more than your head.

When you think about thinking, most of us think of it as a supremely solo pursuit. You're in your head, concentrating and cogitating, all by yourself. But the science shows that if you want to improve your thinking, you need to get out of your head. Today we're going to talk about a concept called "the extended mind." Your mind isn't just in your skull: it's in your body, it's in the people around you, it's in your surroundings. The best thinking requires that you break out of what the writer David Foster Wallace called "the skull sized kingdom" and access these other resources.

This may sound abstract, but our guest today makes it very practical. Annie Murphy Paul is an acclaimed science writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, Scientific American, Slate, Time, and The Best American Science Writing, among many other publications. She is the author of Origins and The Cult of Personality, hailed by Malcolm Gladwell as a "fascinating new book." Currently a fellow at New America, Paul has spoken to audiences around the world about learning and cognition; her TED talk has been viewed by more than 2.6 million people. A graduate of Yale University and the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, she has served as a lecturer at Yale University and as a senior advisor at their Poorvu Center for Teaching and Learning. Her latest book is The Extended Mind: The Power of Thinking Outside the Brain

In this episode, we also talk about:

• How to use your surroundings to think better
• My favorite of the three areas of this book – thinking with our relationships
• Why "groupthink" isn't always a bad thing (OR you can say, the benefits of thinking in groups)
• What she called "extension inequality" – that this benefit of the extended mind isn't available to all people

Related Episodes: Ancient Secrets to Modern Happiness | Tamar Gendler

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/anniemurphypaul

Additional Resources:

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Practical advice from a straight-talking former criminal and occasionally profane dharma teacher.

Vinny Ferraro is the Guiding Teacher of the Big Heart City Sangha in San Francisco and has led a weekly sitting group for almost two decades. As a fully empowered Dharma Teacher thru Spirit Rock/IMS, he has taught residential retreats at Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and the Esalen Institute. Currently, he leads Spirit Rock's Year to Live course and teaches retreats and daylongs through Big Heart City and meditation centers across the country. He is a respected leader in developing and implementing interventions for at-risk populations. leading groups in schools, juvenile halls and prisons since 1987. He has led emotional intelligence workshops for over 100,000 youth on four continents.

In this episode we talk about:

• Alignment
• Vinny's concept of "flashing your basic goodness"
• Noting practice
• The deep satisfaction in not seeking satisfaction
• Redirecting awareness
• Being an "empathetic witness" for yourself
• When to opt for distraction
• Not taking what's not yours
• Vinny's ancestor practice
• What is the connection between seeing our family patterns and not taking what is not ours?
• How loyal have we been to our suffering?

Related Episodes:

• Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters
• Vitamin E: How To Cultivate Equanimity Amidst Political Chaos | Election Sanity Series | Roshi Joan Halifax
• Non-Preachy Ethics | Jozen Tamori Gibson

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/vinny-ferraro

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Actionable advice on working with one of the few socially acceptable vices.

Whilst striving for perfection might seem logical on some level, it's not actually attainable. And the research shows it can lead to burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, reduced productivity, and reduced resilience.

Thomas Curran is a professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics and is the author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough.

In this episode we talk about:

• The definition of perfectionism – it's more than just high standards
• The 3 flavors of perfectionism
• The surprising findings on perfectionism and gender
• Perfectionism VS imposter syndrome
• The root of perfectionism
• The variables that lead to perfectionism
• Thomas' critiques on capitalism and growth mindset
• How to actually implement mantras like "progress not perfection" and "embracing good enough"
• 4 elements to combat imperfectionism
• The recipe for achieving inner abundance
• How to make good work without caring what other people think of you?
• And parenting and perfectionism

Related Episodes:

• Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)
• How To End The War With Your Body | Sonya Renee Taylor.
• The Science of Failing Well | Amy Edmondson
• Dr. Mark Epstein On: How To Transform Your Neuroses Into "Little Shmoos"
• The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein
• Weird Dreams, Family Relationships, and Collective Trauma I Dr. Mark Epstein

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Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Talking creativity and sanity with one of the world's biggest pop stars.

British-Albanian singer-songwriter Dua Lipa emerged as a global pop sensation with her captivating blend of sultry vocals, empowering lyrics, and infectious beats. Born in London in 1995 to Albanian parents, Lipa's musical journey began at a young age, inspired by her father's own musical career. She hosts the podcast Dua Lipa: At Her Service, and her latest album is Radical Optimism.

In this episode we talk about:

• What she means by radical optimism – and how it applied when she literally fell on stage
• How she resists the temptation to fully armor herself
• Her famous work ethic and packed schedule
• Her non-negotiable daily practices, including meditation
• Her social media hygiene (specially, how to stay sane when nearly 80 million people follow you on Instagram alone)
• And we have a great conversation about creativity, including how she builds psychological safety with her team in studio and on tour
• Why she had to write 97 songs to make this one album
• And her concept of "writing herself into a good idea" – as she says, "You have to be shit to be good."

Related Episodes:

• Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning into Discomfort
• Pema Chödrön, Renowned Buddhist Nun, On Her One Non-Negotiable Happiness Strategy
• The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis
• Hope Is a Skill | George Mumford
• Discomfort: A Counterintuitive Source of Hope | Sebene Selassie

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dua-lipa

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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A research-backed plan for getting your sh*t together in every possible sphere.

We're going to talk about some smart strategies today with Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. She is a psychologist and research scientist, with an expertise in the science of happiness, emotional intelligence, and social connection. She is the Science Director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and she also teaches executives at the Yale School of Management. She's been on this show before, to discuss her best-selling book The Happiness Track. And today she's back to discuss her new book, Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos.

In this episode we talk about:

• What she means by that term, sovereign
• The neuroscience of emotion regulation
• The science of intuition – and how to work with it when you're a critical thinker
• How our past can unconsciously bind us
• The impact of trauma
• The latest evidence for the benefits of meditation
• And how to cultivate what scientists call Positive Relational Energy

Related Episodes:

• Three Lessons from a Happiness Researcher | Emma Seppälä
• The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris Germer
• Can You Really Trust Your Gut? | Amber Tamblyn

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/emma-seppala-764

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The creator of somatic experiencing shows Dan how to heal trauma through the body.

Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., has spent the past 50 years developing Somatic Experiencing. He holds a doctorate in Biophysics from UC Berkeley and a doctorate in Psychology from International University. His work has been taught to over 30,000 therapists in over 42 countries. He is the author of the new book, An Autobiography of Trauma.

Content warning: This episode includes discussions of rape and violence.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to do somatic experiencing. You'll see Dan play the role of guinea pig + make weird sounds
• The difference between somatic experiencing and talk therapy
• Somatic experiencing practices we can implement into our lives
• Why some people feel horror/terror at the thought of re-occupying the body and how to overcome those fears
• What the research says – and how these practices around body awareness have gone from the fringes to entering the scientific mainstream
• And how to move through ancient wounds – and enrich our lives (whether we have trauma or not)
• Practices to fortify us in times of difficulty
• Facing mortality

Related Episodes:

Become An Active Operator Of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

What Science and Buddhism Say About How to Regulate Your Own Nervous System | Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo

How to Live with the Worst Things That Ever Happened to You | Stephanie Foo

An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

How to Get Out of Your Head | Willa Blythe Baker

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Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Buddhist strategies for taming that nagging voice in your head.

Ofosu Jones-Quartey, a meditation teacher, author, and musician hailing from the Washington DC area brings over 17 years of experience in sharing mindfulness, meditation and self-compassion practices with the world. Holding a bachelor's degree from American University and certified by the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, Ofosu is a graduate of the Teleos Coaching Institute and is the male voice on the Balance meditation app, reaching over 10 million subscribers.

Ofosu leads meditation classes and retreats nationwide, having taught and led retreats at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, The Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, Brooklyn Zen Center, Cleveland Insight, Inward Bound Mindfulness and more.

As an accomplished hip hop artist under the name "Born I," Ofosu released the mindfulness-themed album "In This Moment" in 2021. His most recent album is "AMIDA", a spiritual, Lo-Fi Hip Hop album exploring life, death and his Buddhist faith.

Beyond music, Ofosu is an author, releasing his self-published children's book "You Are Enough" in 2020 and "Love Your Amazing Self" via Storey Publishing in 2022. He lives in Rockville, Maryland, with his wife and four children.

In this episode we talk about:

• The relationship between self-compassion and a successful meditation practice
• All the reasons people resist self-compassion, and his rebuttals
• Whether self-compassion is selfish
• How to do self-compassion off the cushion, including practices like journaling, written reminders, establishing accountability partners, and simple questions you can drop into your mind when all else fails
• How to do self-compassion on the cushion, including practices like body scans, metta, and a check-in practice you can use at the very start of your sits
• And how to teach self-compassion to children

Related Episodes:

The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/ofosu-jones-quartey

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How self compassion works, how to practice it, and what the research says about the benefits.

GUEST BIO:

Dr. Serena Chen is Professor of Psychology and the Marian E. and Daniel E. Koshland, Jr. Distinguished Chair for Innovative Teaching and Research at the University of California, Berkeley. Her research focuses on the self and identity, interpersonal relationships, and social power and influence. She is a Fellow of the Society of Personality and Social Psychology, American Psychological Association, and Association of Psychological Science. Dr. Chen was also the recipient of the Early Career Award from the International Society for Self and Identity, and the Distinguished Teaching Award from the Social Sciences Division of the University of California, Berkeley.

In this episode we talk about:

• The connection between self-compassion and authenticity
• As well as self-compassion exercises that you can incorporate into your daily life
• How self-compassion influences the desire for self improvement
• How it can lead you to be more understanding of other people
• The connection between self-compassion and good leadership
• And how self-compassion can apply to parenting as well as to educational realms

Related Episodes:

How to Make Self-Compassion Work for You | Kristin Neff

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series | Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Debating the cliche: Does everything happen for a reason? Plus, the Meditation Party crew tackles equanimity, work/life balance, and meditation vs napping.

Sebene Selassie describes herself as a "writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo." She teaches meditation on the ten percent happier app and is the author of a great book called You Belong. She's based in Brooklyn.

Jeff Warren is also a writer and a meditation teacher. He and Dan co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. He also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast. He's based in Toronto.

If you want to be part of the show, please call in with a question or comment. The number is 508-656-0540. Or you can email us with a voice memo at podcast@tenpercent.com with a voice memo.

Tickets for the two more Meditation Party retreats this year at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York are available now. The last one was a blast. Come join us for both. One is in May, the other October.

Related Episodes:

How to Stay Calm No Matter What's Happening | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Meditation Party: The "Sh*t Is Fertilizer" Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren

Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious

Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Science-Based Tools for When You're Stressed, Obsessed, or Overthinking | Dr. Jenny Taitz

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/med-party-howtohandle

Additional Resources:

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Digging into the nuts and bolts of Stoicism with one of its best-known modern proponents.

Ryan Holiday is a prolific author, whose books include The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, and Discipline is Destiny. His newest book, Right Thing, Right Now, comes out in June, and is available for pre-order now. Ryan is also the host of the Daily Stoic Podcast.

In this episode we talk about:

• The history and theory of Stoicism, and some of its big names (including a former Vice Presidential candidate)
• Premeditatio Melorem, or thinking ahead to the worst possible outcome in order to avoid it
• Memento Mori, or being aware of the inevitability of one's own death
• Amor Fati, or "loving one's fate" as a path to acceptance of reality
• Journaling as a key Stoic practice, of talking to oneself on the page
• The four Stoic values: Courage, Temperance, Justice, Wisdom
• How Stoicism and Buddhism overlap – and how they don't

Related Episodes:

The Dharma of Artificial Intelligence (AI) | Jasmine Wang & Iain S. Thomas

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Additional Resources:

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Death isn't the most appetizing topic, but contemplating mortality can be a massive source of motivation, perspective, and even stress relief. In this episode, life lessons from a death doula, who helps people at the end.

Description:

There seems to be one clear bug in the human operating system — most of us do not like talking about death. Yet when we do talk about it, it can genuinely upgrade the quality of our lives.

Our guest today is Alua Arthur, a former attorney who is now what's called a death doula, which is someone who helps guide people through the end of their lives. Through this work, she has learned some extraordinary stuff about how to live life right now.

Alua is also the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization. Her debut memoir, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life By Getting Real About the End, will be released on April 16, 2024.

This conversation took place at the 2023 TED Conference in Vancouver, immediately after Alua delivered her triumphant talk, which is out now.

Special thanks to the TED Audio Collective. You can listen to Alua's talk and other TED talks on the TED Talks Daily podcast.

In this episode we talk about:

• How death can be a powerful motivator
• How consistently being aware that you're going to die can be a "stress reliever"
• The utility of imagining your ideal death
• Her view on reincarnation
• How the concept of "healing" can sometimes be used as a weapon against ourselves
• The importance of not leaving things unsaid
• How "hope" at the end of life can sometimes be unhelpful
• What surprises her about death
• How her work helped her out of her depression
• The five steps that you should take when confronting your own death
• The harm that can sometimes result from too much medical intervention toward the end of life
• The often fraught relationship that vulnerable and marginalized people can have with the medical community
• The benefits of thinking about what version of yourself you want to meet on your deathbed
• The death meditation that she uses when working with people
• What to say and do when you are with somebody who is grieving
• And a practice she calls, "The dying things exercise"

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/Alua-Arthur-archive

Where to find Alua Arthur online:

Website: goingwithgrace.com

Social Media:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• YouTube

Book Mentioned:

• Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Link to Alua's TED talk
• Link to Dan's TED talk
• Gail Ruben
• Glennon Doyle
• Atīśa Dīpaṃkara Śrījñāna
• Roshi Joan Halifax
• Larry Rosenberg

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Professor and writer Arthur Brooks on his recent book (co-authored with Oprah Winfrey): Build The Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. Arthur has seen the themes of this book play out in his own life. He started his career as a classical French horn player, then got his PhD in public policy analysis, and went on to run a think tank called the American Enterprise Institute. He is currently a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School. He also does work with The Atlantic, where he writes a column and hosts a podcast called How to Build a Happy Life. Arthur was formerly on Ten Percent Happier to discuss his book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.

In this episode we talk about:

• Myth busting about happiness
• The three macronutrients of happiness
• The perils of pursuing pleasure
• How to be effectively and wisely ambitious
• How to ascertain if you have meaning in your life
• How to manage your emotions
• The difference between healthy and unhealthy envy

Related Episodes:

• The Good News About Your Inevitable Decline | Arthur Brooks
• Why Dwight from The Office (Rainn Wilson) Is Calling for a "Spiritual Revolution"
• The Upsides And Downsides Of Living A More Examined Life | Matt Harris

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/arthur-brooks-754

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How our false expectations and misunderstandings about relationships can create an incalculable amount of suffering — and the many problems of the "You complete me" model.

Description:

This episode was part one of our four-part series where we're counter-programming against the way Valentine's Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.

Today's guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine's Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships.

Myisha Battle is the author of the book, "This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between." She also hosts the podcast How's Your Sex Life? Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships.

Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex.

In this episode we talk about:

• Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership
• The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways
• Understanding men's and women's cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships
• The myth of finding "the one"
• The orgasm gap
• Bromance
• And if you're looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-archive

Where to find Myisha Battle online:

Website: www.myishabattle.com/

Social Media:

• Twitter: @MyishaBattle
• Instagram: @MyishaBattle

Book Mentioned:

• This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Alain de Botton's Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
• The School of Life
• #418. How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman
• #213: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
• #464. How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel
• Half the World Has a Clitoris. Why Don't Doctors Study It?
• Michael Vincent Miller's Intimate Terrorism
• Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Hidden sources of stress — and how to beat them. Also: the myth of normal, the necessity of being disillusioned, and the disutility of comparing your suffering.

Description:

There's so much to be grateful for in modern medicine. We can all agree that we would not do as well in a world with no Advil or dentistry. And yet, our guest today, who is a renowned doctor, says modern medicine is overlooking something crucial: the pernicious impact that modern living has on our minds and bodies. In other words, we are surrounded by these hidden societal and structural sources of stress and we aren't thinking about how to treat and prevent these factors that are degrading our happiness and our immune systems.

Dr. Gabor Maté is a bestselling author with an expertise on everything from stress to addiction to ADHD. His latest book is called, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Content Warning: This episode has mentions of child abuse, sexual trauma, suicide and addiction

In this episode we talk about:

• What he means by "the myth of normal"
• How diseases, such as autoimmune conditions, are an "artifact of civilization"
• How to begin to tackle what Dr. Maté calls, "the social sources of illness"
• His definition of trauma and the difference between "big T traumatic events" and the trauma of "wounding"
• How trauma in society is so normalized that we don't even recognize it
• Whether the term trauma is overused
• Why comparing suffering is a fruitless endeavor
• What he means by "the necessity to be disillusioned"
• The power and possibility of psychedelics
• Why he thinks we should incorporate shamanic medicine into our western medical framework
• And what he means by "undoing self-limiting beliefs" and how these beliefs show up in our everyday lives

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gabor-mate-archive

Where to find Gabor Maté online:

Website: drgabormate.com

Social Media:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• YouTube

Books Mentioned:

• The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
• When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection
• Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder
• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
• Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Other Resources Mentioned:

• The Wisdom of Trauma
• Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Is Associated with Increased Risk of Ovarian Cancer: A Prospective and Retrospective Longitudinal Cohort Study
• Decrease in depression symptoms is associated with longer survival in patients with metastatic breast cancer: a secondary analysis
• Marital Status, Marital Strain, and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease or Total Mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study
• George Engel
• How spanking may affect brain development in children
• The Trauma of Everyday Life by Dr. Mark Epstein
• IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging by Dr. Dan Siegel
• A. H. Almaas

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Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Buddhist strategies for making money and being creative.

Meditation teacher David Nichtern believes that business can be, in his words, an essential spiritual practice. He has been practicing and teaching meditation for over 40 years. He's also the author of a book, Creativity, Spirituality, and Making a Buck. And he hosts a podcast by the same name. He began his career as a successful composer, producer, and guitarist. He's recorded and played with Stevie Wonder, Jerry Garcia, Lana Del Rey, Paul Simon, and others. Recently, he's become an entrepreneur, founding an online mindfulness based education platform called Dharma Moon.

You can check out the video series based on his latest book, here. And on June 14, David's leading a 100 Hour Mindfulness Teacher Training. For more info, check out the Dharma Moon website.

Related Episodes:

Duncan Trussell on: Being a Spiritual Omnivore, Whether Psychedelics Are a Bridge to the Divine, and How the Gates of Hell Are Locked From the Inside

A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/david-nichtern

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Why fear of other people's opinions (FOPO) holds us back, and what to do about it.

Michael Gervais is a high performance psychologist and the host of the Finding Mastery podcast. His new book is called The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You.

In this episode we talk about:

• A handy new acronym: FOPO, Fear of People's Opinions
• How the evolutionary roots of our desire for social acceptance work against us in the modern world
• Why caring about what others think is not the same thing as worrying about what others think
• The difference between a purpose-based identity and a performance-based identity
• The anti-FOPO power of things like: imagination, journaling, meditation, social support, and considering your mortality
• Why focusing less on yourself can be the greatest bulwark against FOPO

Related Episodes:

• Michael Gervais and Pete Carroll
• Michael Gervais in conversation with Jon Kabat-Zinn

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/michael-gervais-returns

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How to build a career that is sturdy, meaningful, and doesn't burn you out.

Description:

Christina Wallace is a senior lecturer of entrepreneurship at Harvard business school, an active angel investor, and even a co-producer of Broadway musicals. Her new book is called The Portfolio Life. Her varied resume should give you an idea of what she means by this.

In this episode we talk about:

• how to design a portfolio life for yourself
• her philosophy of ambition
• how to create the freedom to fail
• how to engage in sane time management.

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

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Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/christina-wallace

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Slow productivity: achievement without burnout.

Cal Newport is a professor of computer science at Georgetown University where he is also a founding member of the Center for Digital Ethics. In addition to his academic work, Newport is a New York Times bestselling author who writes for a general audience about the intersection of technology, productivity, and culture. His books have sold millions of copies and been translated into over forty languages. He is also a contributor to The New Yorker and hosts the popular Deep Questions podcast.

In this episode we talk about:

• How overload culture wears us out and makes us less productive
• The rise of "pseudo-productivity" in office culture
• The three tenets of slow productivity: do fewer things, work at a natural pace, and obsess over quality

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/cal-newport-745

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Do you struggle to fit meditation into a busy life? Check out this candid conversation with Dan's younger brother, Matt.

Matt Harris is partner at Bain Capital Ventures, where he's developed an expertise in Fintech, or financial technology. He's also a father of six incredible children. He is 17 months younger than Dan, to the day. And as you will hear, he likes to make fun of his neurotic brother. In fact, he shows up a lot in Dan's first book, 10% Happier, mocking Dan for his budding interest in meditation.

In this episode we talk about:

• Practical tips from Joseph Goldstein
• The books that have been integral to Matt's process
• Tips on starting a practice.
• The biggest issues for meditators
• How not to try too hard
• How awareness of the ego impacts work,
• The upsides and downsides of living a more examined life.

Related Episodes:

• Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/matt-harris-743

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

We explore the intellectual and practical aspects of these mystical and esoteric concepts.

Joseph Goldstein is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening, A Heart Full of Peace, One Dharma: The Emerging Western Buddhism, Insight Meditation and The Experience of Insight: A Simple and Direct Guide to Buddhist Meditation. Joseph has studied and practiced meditation since 1967 under the guidance of eminent teachers from India, Burma, and Tibet and he leads Insight Meditation retreats around the world.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why Joseph has become more comfortable talking about these concepts as he's gotten older
• Why karma should not be seen as a deterministic principle that rules every aspect of our lives
• The connection between karma and past lives
• What he thinks about the concept of free will and how it relates to karma
• And why skeptics would do well to adopt a mindset characterized by the "willing suspension of disbelief"

Additional Links:

Joseph's Dharma Seed Talk: Understanding Karma

Dipa Ma: The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master

Free Will by Sam Harris

IMS's Forest Refuge Program

The Barre Center for Buddhist Studies

Related Episodes:

• Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.
• Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-742

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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A Buddhist psychiatrist (and one of the key players in Dan's meditation career) talks about the overlap between Freud and the dharma.

Mark Epstein M.D., is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City, is the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including Thoughts without a Thinker, Going to Pieces without Falling Apart, Going on Being, Open to Desire, Psychotherapy without the Self, The Trauma of Everyday Life and Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. His latest work, The Zen of Therapy: Uncovering a Hidden Kindness in Life, was published in 2022 by Penguin Press. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University. He has been a student of vipassana meditation since 1974.

In this episode we talk about:

• The insubstantial nature of thoughts
• Staying present through anything without clinging or condemning.
• Turning down the ego and focusing on others
• How you transform your neuroses from monsters to little shmoos.
• And whether 10% is the right number?

Related Episodes:

• Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.
• Sam Harris on: Vipassana vs. Dzogchen, Looking for the Looker, and Psychic Powers

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/mark-epstein-10th

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Am I a bad meditator if I don't go on a retreat? What do they entail? How do I stay silent for days on end? How do I get into one? What's the food like?

Spring Washam is the author of two books, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage and Wisdom in Any Moment and The Spirit of Harriet Tubman: Awakening from the Underground. She is also one of the founding teachers at the East Bay Meditation Center and is the founder of Lotus Vine Journeys, a one-of-a-kind organization that blends indigenous healing practices with Buddhist wisdom for transformative retreats in South America.

In this episode we talk about:

• Whether or not you're a bad meditator if you don't go on a retreat
• What the specifics of a retreat entails
• How you stay silent for days on end
• And how to actually get into a meditation retreat

Related Episodes:

• Click here to listen to the previous episodes in our tenth anniversary series.

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/spring-washam-zev-borow

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

Editor's Note (March 2026): This episode contains a brief reference to Deepak Chopra. Since this episode was published, documents released by the Department of Justice have revealed Deepak Chopra's connection to Jeffrey Epstein. We find these revelations deeply troubling and do not condone any association with Epstein or his activities. Please know that we have removed our interview with Deepak Chopra from our library.

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

The tables have turned: Dan is interviewed by two of his producers.

This is the kickoff episode of our upcoming series celebrating the 10th anniversary of Dan's book, where two of Dan's producers, DJ Cashmere and Lauren Smith, interview him.

We talk about the story behind the book, what it was like to have a panic attack on national television, why Dan decided to admit it publicly, how the success of the book utterly transformed his life, and what he learned… Both while writing the book and subsequently.

We talk about concepts such as "Respond, not react," why our faults aren't our fault (but they are our responsibility), and whether we all have the capacity to change. DJ and Lauren will even weigh in on how they think Dan's doing on the score.

To order the revised tenth anniversary edition of 10% Happier: click here

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

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Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/736-10th-anniversary

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The four rules for a meaningful conversation, when to be vulnerable, and how to form the habits of becoming a supercommunicator.

Charles Duhigg is a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and author of the bestselling The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. His new book is called Supercommunicators.

In this episode we talk about:

• How he defines super communicator
• The four rules for a meaningful conversation
• How and when to deploy vulnerability
• How to transform shallow questions into deep ones
• The fast friends procedure
• And how to form the habits of becoming a supercommunicator

Related Episodes:

• Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker on communication
• Daniel Goleman on emotional intelligence and optimal performance

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/charles-duhigg

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How to cultivate a generosity mindset— and make a good thing less boring.

Chris Anderson is the curator of TED. He is the author of New York Times bestseller TED Talks and has overseen the introduction of, among others, the TEDx program, the TED-Ed initiative, and the Audacious Project, a bold new philanthropic model to inspire change at scale. His newest book, Infectious Generosity: The Ultimate Idea Worth Spreading, is out now.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to create a generosity mindset
• The audacious and daunting goal he recommends for annual giving
• And the promise of the Internet as a tool to dramatically amplify human kindness

Related Episodes:

Adam Grant, The Benefits of Generosity

Generosity | Bonus Talk with Norman Fischer

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/chris-anderson

Three tools for living a "passion-struck" life.

John R Miles is a former naval officer and corporate titan who has made it his business to study what it means to find passion and purpose in your life. He is the host of the Passion Struck Podcast and the author of the new book Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life.

In this episode we talk about:

• A visualization technique for setting your priorities
• Why "autopilot" is the wrong metaphor for an unlived life
• The five "transition points" on "the journey to becoming passion struck"

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/john-r-miles

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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A master class in equanimity. It's the latest installment of our Meditation Party series. Live from Omega.

Sebene Selassie describes herself as a "writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo." She teaches meditation on the Ten Percent Happier app and is the author of a great book called You Belong. She's based in Brooklyn.

Jeff Warren is also a writer and a meditation teacher. He and Dan co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. He also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast. He's based in Toronto.

Tickets for the two more Meditation Party retreats this year at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York are available now. The last one was a blast. Come join us for both. One is in May, the other October.

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Related Episodes:

Meditation Party: The "Sh*t Is Fertilizer" Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren

Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious

Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Nirvana | Joseph Goldstein

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/medparty-omega

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Simple tools you can knit into your life both for when you're actively freaking out, and for preventing future trips down the anxiety toilet.

Dr. Jenny Taitz is a clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor in psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. Dr. Taitz completed her fellowship in psychology at Yale University School of Medicine and achieved board certifications in both cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy. Her new book, Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes, is out now.

In this episode we talk about:

• The difference between stress and anxiety
• Jenny's take on the use of benzodiazepines
• What she means by, "negative core beliefs", and how to untangle ourselves from them
• How to prepare in advance for stressful situations
• The benefit of giving yourself a deliberate panic attack
• And why stress, while uncomfortable, is actually part of a healthy and meaningful life

Additional Links:

How to Be Single and Happy by Dr. Jenny Taitz

Breathe • Calm down • Meditate

Three-Minute Breathing Space

Related Episodes:

Can Anxiety Be a Gift? | Dr. David Rosmarin

Zach Braff On: Anxiety, Sobriety, Insomnia, Grief, Social Media, and the Meaning of the Tattoo on His Wrist

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jenny-taitz-730

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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What 40 years of research tells us about how to cultivate good relationships in our lives.

World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, Dr. John Gottman has conducted over 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. He is the co-founder of The Gottman Institute and Affective Software Inc. as well as author of over 200 published academic articles and author or co-author of more than 40 books, including The New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Dr. Julie Gottman is the Co-Founder and President of The Gottman Institute and Co-Founder of Affective Software, Inc. A highly respected clinical psychologist and author, she is sought internationally by media and organizations as an expert advisor on marriage, domestic violence, gay and lesbian adoption, same-sex marriage, and parenting issues. She is the co-creator of the immensely popular The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples and she also co-designed the national clinical training program in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

In this episode we talk about:

• how to talk (and listen) to your partner in moments of conflict
• what to do before you start trying to solve a problem together
• why "there's no such thing as constructive criticism"
• the details of John's research findings, which have allowed him to predict with stunning accuracy whether a couple will get divorced
• how the Gottmans themselves do when it comes to operationalizing their findings/advice
• how and why betrayal occurs
• when a couple should consider separating
• the role mindfulness can play in healthy relationships
• and the role of humor in relationships.

Related Episodes:

• Six Buddhist Strategies for Getting Along Better with Everyone | Sister True Dedication
• The Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel Goleman
• Improving Your Relationships - Buddhist Style | Martine Batchelor

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-418-rerun

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

Conflict doesn't have to suck. These iconic relationship researchers tell us how.

Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection is the name of a new book by esteemed guests Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman.

They are the co-Founders of The Gottman Institute and have completed over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples. John is the researcher; Julie the clinician. They have written several books together, including Eight Dates and The Love Prescription.

Even though the majority of the Gottmans' research is on couples, the advice is applicable to all types of relationships.

In this episode we talk about:

• The three principle conflict styles
• Why we often don't understand what it is we're fighting about
• Perpetual problems vs. Solvable problems
• Why the first three minutes of an argument are key
• The simple sentence to use at the beginning of an argument
• How to downregulate defensiveness in an argument
• Why the Gottmans' believe there is no such thing as constructive criticism
• Why apologizing quickly isn't always the right move
• When a fight might spell the end

Related Episodes:

• Dan Savage on how to handle disappointment in your relationships, how to get better at sex, and why "a couple" is an Illusion
• Lori Brotto on mindful sex
• Devon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot mess
• Myisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship myths

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Full Shownotes: http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-726

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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We're dropping a fun little treat in your feed today: it's an episode of The Puzzler, a new podcast from writer A.J. Jacobs, who was my guest on Ten Percent Happier at the beginning of December. His new book, also called The Puzzler, is all about his exploration of the world of puzzles – everything from word games to jigsaw puzzles to Sudoku and beyond – and how what he calls "the puzzle mindset" can really improve your life.

So then he asked me to be his guest on The Puzzler, a daily podcast that he hosts, with so-called "celebrity" guests trying to do puzzles. I've said before that I'm not really a puzzle guy, but A.J. is a delight and it was a lot of fun getting to be on his show – and that's the episode we're sharing with you today. You can find "The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs" wherever you get your podcasts. And thanks, A.J., for having me.

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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You may be breathing wrong. Here's how to fix it.

At times, self-improvement can seem like a never-ending hallway filled with limitless shame and insufficiency. So when something as simple as the breath falls into this category, it seems only natural to meet that news with some resistance. Our guest today, James Nestor, argues that many of us, of all things, are breathing incorrectly but that by fixing our breathing, it can help with both physical and psychological ailments.

Nestor is a science journalist who wrote a book called, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into more than 35 languages.

In this episode we talk about:

• How Nestor got interested in breathing in the first place
• Why we are the worst breathers in the animal kingdom
• The importance of posture
• The deleterious effects of mouth breathing
• Why we need to chew more
• The relationship between breathing and anxiety
• The relationship between breathing and sleep
• And we dive into a variety of breathing exercises

Where to find James Nestor online:

Website: www.mrjamesnestor.com

Social Media:

• Facebook
• Instagram

Book Mentioned:

• Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Daniel E. Lieberman
• The Wim Hof Method
• Dr. Stanislav Grof and holotropic breathwork
• Dr. Richard P. Brown
• Matthew P. Walker
• More on Kundalini Yoga and Breathing
• Sudarshan Kriya
• Dr. Herbert Benson and tummo breathing technique

Related Episodes:

Three Lessons from Happiness Research | Emma Seppälä

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/james-nestor-rerun

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Dan Savage has been writing the popular sex-advice column Savage Love for over thirty years. He also hosts the Savage Lovecast and is the author of numerous books. In 2010 Dan and his husband founded the It Gets Better Project, which was designed to give hope to LGBTQ kids. It was seen all over the world–and won an Emmy.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to handle disappointment and jealousy
• How to get better at sex
• Why so many couples lose their spark and what to do about it
• How to date in the era of apps
• Why it's so hard for straight couples to talk about sex
• Dan's contention that the idea of a 'couple' is an illusion

Related Episodes:

• Lori Brotto on mindful sex
• Devon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot mess
• Myisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship myths

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

For tickets to Dan Harris: Celebrating 10 Years of 10% Happier at Symphony Space: click here

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dan-savage-723

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Sometimes perseverance is overrated. An argument for strategic quitting.

Julia Keller is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, novelist, and playwright. She has a Ph.D. in English Literature from The Ohio State University and has taught at Princeton University, the University of Chicago, and the University of Notre Dame, and was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard University. She was the chief book critic at The Chicago Tribune for many years before quitting the world of daily journalism to write books.

In this episode we talk about:

• The history behind why quitting gets such a bad rap
• What happens in our brains when we quit
• Why we don't give enough credit to quitting
• The myth of perseverance
• How to talk to our children about healthy quitting
• The power of having a community of quitters

Related Episodes:

• The Myth of the Dream Job | Simone Stolzoff
• How To Find Meaningful Work in a Rapidly Changing World | Bruce Feiler

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/julia-keller

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Our ability to focus is not lost, it's just changing. Here's what we can adapt.

Here's a horrifying fact: the average attention span has now declined to just 47 seconds on any particular screen. 47 seconds! How did this happen? How can we get anything done this way?

Today we're going to meet the scientist who's done this research, find out what's driving this, and what we can do about it. And the good news is we really can do things about this.

We're experiencing a fundamental shift in how we think, work, and focus. It shows up in our blizzard of notifications, zoom fatigue, task switching, and burn out.

Dr. Gloria Mark is the Chancellor's Professor of Informatics at the University of California, Irvine. She has been a visiting senior researcher at Microsoft Research since 2012. She's written a book called Attention Span: A Groundbreaking Way to Restore Balance, Happiness and Productivity

In this episode we talked about:

• Four myths about attention and technology
• The problem with frequent task-switching
• The surprising (to me) value of rote or mindless activities
• How to recognize when we are most distracted
• How to design your day based on your attentional resources
• How practicing forethought can help boost our attention and focus
• And Her thoughts on digital detoxes

This episode is part of the latest installment of an occasional series we do, called Sanely Ambitious. If you missed last week's episodes, go check them out. We talked about the science of optimal performance, and also the science of failure, meaning how to fail well. Coming up on Wednesday we're gonna talk about what the research says about when to quit, not just your job, but any endeavor. We will put links in the show notes.

Related Episodes:

The Science of Optimal Performance—at Work and Beyond | Daniel Goleman

The Science of Failing Well | Amy Edmondson

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gloria-mark

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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A Harvard Business School professor discusses how to get good at "intelligent failure."

Amy C. Edmondson is the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at the Harvard Business School. Her latest book is called the Right Kind of Wrong. Her research examines psychological safety and teaming within and between organizations.

In this episode we talk about:

• The problems of shame, perfectionism, and social media
• How not to get caught up in analysis paralysis
• The importance of self-compassion and a growth mindset
• The benefits of worrying with someone else
• Why redundancy is your friend
• How to discuss failure without assigning blame
• Why accepting your smallness can be freeing
• Taking the time to learn from failure
• The cognitive framework: stop, challenge, and choose
• How to have a healthier relationships with anxiety and failure
• Creating a culture of psychological safety
• Recognizing that not everybody in society has the same permission to take risks

Related Episodes:

Self-Compassion Ain't Always Soft | Kristin Neff

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/amy-edmondson-2023

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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How to boost productivity, empathy, and focus, while reducing burnout. From the godfather of Emotional Intelligence.

If you have any degree of ambition, one of the things you probably think about is how to perform at your best, or somewhere close, every day. How to keep your energy up. How to get into flow. How to stay focused and productive. How to play well with others.

Daniel Goleman— his friends call him Danny—-has been thinking and writing about optimal performance for decades. He's perhaps best known for his book, Emotional Intelligence. He's a Harvard trained psychologist who also wrote in the New York Times for a while. And in his youth, he spent many years studying meditation in Asia, alongside many of today's most intellectual meditation teachers like Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg.

He's got a new book called Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day, co-written with Cary Cherniss.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to train your mind for optimal states
• How to reduce burnout
• How to develop and deploy empathy in a work setting
• How to give feedback
• A productivity hack that involves only doing the easy stuff
• The 4 parts of emotional intelligence—and how to get better at each
• And the future of EI in a world of AI

This episode kicks off the latest installment of our occasional series, Sanely Ambitious. Over the next two weeks, we will be posting episodes on: how to focus in the midst of a pandemic of distraction, how to fail well, and when to quit. It's a great lineup.

Daniel Goleman's online Emotional Intelligence Program

Related Episodes:

A Radical Approach to Productivity, Self-Compassion Series | Jocelyn K. Glei

#494. How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

The Science of Emotional Intelligence | Daniel Goleman

#523. A Masterclass in Handling Yourself When Things Suck | Tsoknyi Rinpoche and Daniel Goleman

#436. Brené Brown Says You're Doing Feelings Wrong

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-716

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The author/podcaster talks about her nonnegotiables at a delicate time in her life.

Glennon Doyle is an author, activist, and the founder of Together Rising. She hosts the We Can Do Hard Things podcast and wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, a Reese's Book Club selection, which has sold nearly three million copies.

Photo Credit: Alexandra Hedison

In this episode we talk about:

• The concept of embodiment
• Undoing harmful deep conditioning around hustle and diet culture
• The role of Internal Family Systems in Glennon's life

Related Episodes:

• You Don't Have to be Miserable While Doing Important Work | adrienne maree brown
• How To End The War With Your Body | Sonya Renee Taylor
• The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Plus, provocative and practical ideas about actually enjoying exercise, the real relationship between weight and health, the problem with weight loss, the morality of food, feeding your kids, and who "the real bad guy" is.

Virginia Sole-Smith is the bestselling author of Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture and The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image and Guilt in America. She also writes the Burnt Toast newsletter, hosts the Burnt Toast Podcast, and frequently contributes to The New York Times and other publications.

In this episode we talk about:

• The actual connections between health and body size
• The severe limitations of many of the most popular approaches to weight loss
• Nuanced strategies for disentangling from diet culture
• How to exercise without a hidden agenda of trying to wrench your body into a specific shape
• The idea that food doesn't have a moral value
• The relationship between men, exercise, food, and diet culture
• How our kids are getting caught up in diet culture, and what parents can do about it
• What Virginia's smartest critic would say about her contentions
• Her take on Ozempic

Related Episodes:

• Dharma teacher Cara Lai on mindfulness and exercise
• Jud Brewer on "The Hunger Habit"
• Evelyn Tribole on "The Anti-Diet"

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/virginia-sole-smith

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Dr. Jud breaks down how habits work and how to change them. Plus, insights on stress, boredom, mindfulness, pleasure, satisfaction, and contentment.

Judson Brewer M.D., Ph.D., is an internationally renowned addiction psychiatrist and neuroscientist and a bestselling author. He is a professor in the School of Public Health and Medical School at Brown University. His new book is called The Hunger Habit: Why We Eat When We're Not Hungry and How to Stop.

In this episode we talk about:

• The scientific evidence behind Dr. Jud's approach
• The difference between satisfaction and contentment
• The difference between hedonic and homeostatic hunger
• Why changing behavior may not require you to dig into your past
• "Unforced freedom of choice"
• The "bigger better offer"
• The "pleasure plateau"
• Habits vs. addictions
• "The hunger test"
• The Buddha's advice on eating
• Whether or not we can still eat gummy worms

Related Episodes:

• Dr. Jud's anxiety Q&A
• Dr. Jud on anxiety as a habit
• Dr. Jud on addiction and bad habits
• Evelyn Tribole on intuitive eating

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jud-brewer-hunger

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Have you already bailed on your resolutions? Where are you on your other life goals? This episode is a master class on sticking with it, no matter what.

Bryan Stevenson is a public interest lawyer who has dedicated his career to helping the poor, the incarcerated, and the condemned. He is the founder and Executive Director of the Equal Justice Initiative, based in Montgomery, Alabama—an organization that has won major legal challenges eliminating excessive and unfair sentencing, as well as reversals, relief, or release from prison for over 140 wrongly condemned prisoners on death row. He is the author of the bestselling memoir Just Mercy, which was made into a feature film, and the subject of an HBO documentary, True Justice. He is also a MacArthur "Genius," a graduate of Harvard Law School, and a recipient of over 50 honorary doctoral degrees from institutions like Yale, Princeton, and Oxford University.

In this episode we talk about:

• Bryan's "non-negotiables," including exercise, music, and mindfulness
• The necessity of "proximity"
• How he manages fear, anger, and hatred
• How he cultivates hope and faith in the face of overwhelming odds

Related Episodes:

• Father Gregory Boyle on Conquering Hatred with Love
• Other guests in our "Non-Negotiables" series, including Jon Kabat-Zinn, Esther Perel, and Bill Hader

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/bryan-stevenson

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Chödrön also talks about how to deal with difficult people, set boundaries, and keep a sense of humor in the face of our human foibles and failings.

Pema Chödrön was born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown in New York City. In her mid-thirties, Ani Pema met and studied with Lama Chime Rinpoche, becoming a novice nun in 1974 in London. She received ordination from His Holiness the Sixteenth Karampa during that time. Pema first met her root guru, the teacher with whom she had the most profound connection, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972, and she studied closely with him until his death in 1987. In 1984, at the behest of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, Ani Pema moved from Boulder, Colorado to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. She currently teaches throughout the United States and Canada and continues her studies and meditative retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to deal with difficult people and set boundaries
• Having a sense of humor about our own foibles and failings
• Keeping a sense of ok-ness in the face of whatever happens
• Why coming from a place of love doesn't preclude us from getting angry or standing up for what we believe in
• Keeping a sense of humor when we're setting intentions or taking a vow so we don't set ourselves up for failure
• The actual language of the Bodhisattva vow and why admitting how vast and impossible it is to achieve can actually be empowering
• Why putting others first doesn't mean leaving yourself out of the equation
• How healing yourself can affect your relationships with other people and create a virtuous circle
• Taking a "one person at a time" approach to suffering

Related Episodes:

The Dalai Lama's Guide To Happiness

Full Shownotes:https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/pema-chodron-2024

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Kabat-Zinn on the nitty gritty practicalities of starting a practice, being fully present with no agenda, and letting go of "the story of me."

Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, is professor of medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. Back in the 1970s, he came up with something called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, or MBSR, which is a secular way of teaching Buddhist meditation. He's written many books, including Full Catastrophe Living; Wherever You Go, There You Are; and Coming to Our Senses. His latest book is called Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief.

In this episode we talk about:

• The nitty gritty practicalities of starting a practice
• How he's learned to be more relaxed about his practice—including advocating for meditating in bed
• How to practice being fully present with no agenda
• How investigating your motivations—something most people don't do— can help you be more mindful
• How to practice letting go of "the story of me"

Related Episodes:

Tripping Out with a Legend: Jon Kabat-Zinn on Pain vs. Suffering, Rethinking Your Anxiety, and the Buddha's Teaching in a Single Sentence

Jon Kabat-Zinn | Meditation as a Love Affair

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jon-kabat-zinn-2024

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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The star of SNL and Barry discusses how he channels his anxiety into his work. Plus, an imitation of Joseph Goldstein.

Bill Hader has made the transition from being a master of stand-out characters and impressions on eight seasons of Saturday Night Life to becoming a true multi-hyphenate by creating, directing, writing, producing and starring as a burned-out assassin trying to break into Hollywood as an actor in HBO's award-winning and critically lauded dark comedy, Barry.

In this episode we talk about:

• How Bill deals with anxiety
• His panic attack on live television
• His love of directing and the importance of having the right collaborators

Full Shownotes:https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/bill-hader

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install