Death, Sex & Money

San Francisco mayor London Breed grew up learning again and again about the dangers of drugs and addiction. She lived in public housing in the city in the 1980’s and saw friends and family members in her community get hooked, get sick, and sometimes pass away. Fast forward to now, and San Francisco is seeing sky-high overdose numbers (though they’re down a bit from last year), and the city has earned a reputation for being in disarray. Mayor London Breed faces a tough reelection campaign this fall, and this week on the show, she talks about the many different measures she and her administration are taking to address San Francisco’s problems, and she shares some of the important life experiences that have informed her approach. 

Podcast production by Anna Sale.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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Carvell Wallace’s brilliant new memoir Another Word for Love has been rightfully praised for its passages about childhood trauma, about apologies and forgiveness, and about the healing power of love. But the book also features some important lessons about sex, consent, and the ways popular culture can send the wrong messages about both of those things. This week on the show, Carvell digs into those lessons and the experiences that changed him forever, including his first encounters with Shakespeare and his trip to an unforgettable sex party.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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Since the #MeToo movement, the presence of intimacy coordinators have become more common on movie and TV sets. In this episode, Elle McAlpine the intimacy coordinator for many projects including Poor Things and Baby Reindeer, talks about what her job entails, from choreographing the perfect orgasm to navigating tricky workplace dynamics.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Anna talks to Dr. Orna Guralnik, the psychoanalyst from Showtime’s Couples Therapy, and then to Kara Swisher, the pugnacious tech journalist and podcast host, about the art of the interview, and how they get people to open up to them. 

Kara Swisher’s new book is Burn Book: A Tech Love Story, and you can read her 1989 Washington Post article here.

This episode is from a live conversation, earlier this month, at the Tribeca Festival. It was produced by Slate’s Katie Rayford and Alexandra Cohl and Tribeca Festival’s Davy Gardner, with help from Zoe Azulay and Cameron Drews.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Mark Duplass’s first big dream came true when he was 28: a movie he wrote and directed with his brother, Jay, got into The Sundance Film Festival. It was a major accomplishment, but Mark was miserable. “The week after Sundance was probably one of the worst weeks of my life because I realized I hit the top of the mountain. The top of the mountain didn't make me happy. So now what am I going to do?”

In this episode, filmmaker Mark Duplass talks about managing depression, what it’s like to have a creative partnership with his brother, and how they talk about making and spending money. “If I didn't have Jay as a partner, I would make a hundred mediocre movies a year, and if he didn't have me, he would die with two thirds of the greatest film ever made, not finished.”

Read: With Hollywood shedding jobs, here is help for coping with the slowdown

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Christopher Zara didn’t finish high school, and can sometimes feel like an outsider working in a field where it’s more common to have a college degree. Sometimes he’s able to push through his social anxiety, to put on a tough face. But other times his body won’t give him a chance to feel at ease – it seizes up, and in Christopher’s case that means not being able to pee even when he really, really has to.  

“Imagine you’re unable to perform a basic function like move your hand or your leg,” Christopher said, “You're standing, in my case, in front of a urinal or wherever the bathroom is, and it just doesn't happen.”

In this episode, Christopher talks to producer Zoe Azulay about “paruresis,” more colloquially known as shy bladder syndrome, how it’s been disruptive to his life, how he thinks it's connected to class anxiety, and how it’s gotten better. 

Christopher Zara’s memoir is called Uneducated: A Memoir of Flunking Out, Falling Apart, and Finding My Worth

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.”

Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. 

Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.”  

Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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The dating app Bumble recently declared in advertisements that “a vow of celibacy is not the answer.” The ad campaign, which was met with a swift backlash, seemed to be responding to a prevailing notion that people are having less sex than they used to. Back in 2015, we asked our listeners why they weren’t having sex, and their reasons varied. Disability, religious beliefs, S.T.I.s, and differing libidos were all cited as factors. This week, we revisit those stories and reflect on sex and abstinence at a time when those things continue to spark debate.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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In our episode with Jim Harris, we talked about how a spinal cord injury left him partially paralyzed, and then how 8 months into his recovery he regained some lost sensation and movement after taking psilocybin at a music festival. When we recorded, we talked for a long time….right up to when his window of availability was closing. 

But as I wrapped up and got ready to say goodbye, he said: can I ask you a few questions? It was interesting to hear what he was wondering about after I’d asked him questions for such a long stretch. So we kept talking… and we thought we’d share that with you too. 

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode, but you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Before going on a kite-skiing trip to the Chilean mountains, Jim Harris and his longtime girlfriend broke up. She wanted to settle down, and he wanted to keep adventuring. On that trip, Jim broke his back and became paralyzed. After eight months of non-stop physical therapy his progress seemed to be stalled until one night at a concert he took magic mushrooms and noticed new movement in muscles that hadn’t worked since his accident. In this episode, Anna and Jim talk about his process of recovery, finding new identity, relationships, and ways to adventure and explore. 

You can see Jim’s art and a portfolio of his wilderness adventures at PerpetualWeekend.com, and we first heard about Jim from an article in Outside Magazine.  

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Vivian’s eating disorder started in college. She meticulously tracked calories and the number on the scale. Once she graduated she became less rigid with food, but her fixation with numbers took a new form: budgeting and saving money. In this episode, Anna talks to Vivian about her long and complicated relationship to mental math, how tracking calories and paychecks has helped distract her from painful loss, and how she’s managing with her money anxieties now as she plans a wedding and prenup.

Want to hear more about relationships and money? Check out an episode we made all about wedding costs last summer. And if you heard last week’s episode about a mobile health care clinic in rural Virginia, we have an important update from local reporting on the high levels of executive pay at the Health Wagon, which just prompted the Virginia legislature to cancel $800,000 of line item funding for the nonprofit. It's a developing story we'll be following.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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We first heard from a listener we’re calling Tom in an episode about life transitions. He told us he had recently gotten his driving license revoked because of a health condition, and felt stranded at home and abandoned by friends. In this episode, we called Tom back to learn more about his life and circumstances, and also to put him in conversation with Anna Zivarts, author of the new book, When Driving is Not An Option: Steering Away from Car Dependency. Together they talk about how not being able to drive impacts your routine, relationships, and self-worth. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode, but you’ll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/dsmplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Nurse practitioners Teresa Owens Tyson and Paula Hill-Collins have saved countless lives in rural Appalachia. They operate a mobile clinic called The Health Wagon that brings much-needed care to people who wouldn’t otherwise get it. Teresa and Paula have also been friends since they were 14 years old. They finish each other's sentences, crack jokes, and support each other through difficult times. 

This week, Teresa and Paula join DSM to talk about their important work, their rock-solid friendship, and their exciting new side gig where they administer beauty treatments like botox and fillers. 

We also hear from filmmaker Ramin Bahrani, an Academy Award-nominated filmmaker who made a documentary about healthcare in the rural south called If Dreams Were Lightning: Rural Healthcare Crisis.  

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

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To make this episode we asked you, our listeners, if you had any questions about a big life transition you were preparing for where you needed some advice. 

We received a collection of questions that really trace the full life cycle of adulthood. We heard from those of you just starting out, wondering about new careers and family structures. We heard from those of you in midlife encountering destabilizing shake-ups in your routine, like a divorce, or a sudden disability. And we heard from you at the end of your working lives, wondering when to retire, and also about how to find purpose when life is no longer organized around a 9-5. 

To offer advice, we convened a panel of Slate writers and thinkers, Slate writer Mark Joseph Stern, What Next TBD host Lizzie O'Leary, and Working co-host Ronald Young Jr.

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

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Earlier this year, when the future of Death, Sex & Money was up in the air, Anna Sale consulted Rebecca Auman, a tarot reader and self-described witch based in North Carolina. Anna felt lost, but Rebecca encouraged her to relax and to pay close attention to what her body and mind were telling her about that moment. 

Afterwards, Anna wondered how Rebecca became so good at reading people–and at helping them to navigate tough situations. When the two of them spoke a second time, Rebecca revealed that her ability to help other people doesn’t always translate to an ability to help herself. In this episode, the two of them talk about how hard it is to trust our own intuition…and to even recognize it in the first place. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Patric Gagne says being a sociopath is like having an emotional learning disability. In this episode, she talks about the good and the bad of having limited access to shame and guilt, how she overcame violent compulsions, and becoming a wife and mother. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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When musician Johnny Solomon hit rock bottom, he turned to his mom for help. Then, as his mother’s health declined, he and his wife (and bandmate) Molly moved in with her to lend a hand. But caring for Johnny’s mother meant that their music careers were put on hold. 

We first talked to Johnny, Molly, and his mom Nancy in 2018. This week, we revisit that conversation and get a fresh update from Johnny. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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This week, we get an update from Mason Earle, a former professional rock climber who we spoke to back in 2021. Mason had been diagnosed with ME/CFS, commonly called chronic fatigue syndrome, and he discussed his former career, how he was adjusting to life and marriage with a disability, and why he doesn't miss rock climbing. This week, Mason shares what he’s been up to since we last spoke. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus. Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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This week, we’re revisiting an episode about the transitional lives of Uber drivers. Anna and then-producer Katie Bishop hitched multiple rides in the Bay Area and heard stories about immigration, domestic violence, personal finance, and more. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus. Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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To mark the return of Death, Sex & Money, we’re presenting a live celebration of new beginnings, featuring interviews with comedian and TV host W. Kamau Bell, writer Vicki Larson, Dr. Bonnie Chen, and artist Carissa Potter. You’ll also hear lively music accompaniment by D’Wayne Wiggins of Tony! Toni! Toné! This episode was recorded live at KQED in San Francisco on February 29, 2024. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus. Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

Need to set up your Slate Plus feed? If you subscribed through Slate.com, check out our FAQ at slate.com/podcastfaqs for easy instructions. Members subscribed via Apple Podcasts get automatic access—no setup required.

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Hear about the new life for Death, Sex & Money, with new episodes coming soon! In the meantime, subscribe to Anna's newsletter here to keep in touch and help shape this new era of the show. And tell us your favorite Death, Sex & Money episodes in a review on Apple Podcasts to help new listeners get to know us as all our archives move to our new home.

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When we heard that Death, Sex, & Money was coming to an end at WNYC, we decided there was only one thing to do: throw ourselves an in-person goodbye celebration. In this week’s episode, you’ll hear audio from “Four Interviews and a Funeral,” a show we hosted at Caveat in Manhattan. In it, Anna talks to past guests, like comedian Chris Gethard, Lawrence and Ronnine Bartley, mover Adonis Williams, and NYC’s subway voice, Bernie Wagenblast about their experiences with endings and life transitions. Also, actress Ellen Burstyn reads a poem, Anna gives a eulogy for the show, and The Outer Borough Brass Band plays us home. 

Read more about the event in The New Yorker here, and sign up for Anna’s new newsletter  where you can read her weekly musings, hear from other listeners, and get updates about the future of the show.

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Over the past few months, we’ve been collecting your stories about inheritance, from those who have it and those who don’t. You told us about when inheritance was a surprise, when it felt like a control tactic, a safety net, an expression of love, or an opportunity to redistribute generational wealth. 

In this episode, Anna talks to four people about their inheritance experiences: Gwynn, who is grappling with whether or not to faithfully execute her mother’s will, and cut her sister out; Trevor, who received inheritance from his father and, with it, a mystery about how long his father had been planning his death; and Anna talks to two young people who want to give away their inherited wealth to social causes, despite some opposition from family members.

Want to learn more about the nonprofit Resource Generation? Check out their website here.

And here's the link to sign up to Anna's newsletter: https://annasale.substack.com/

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Meshell Ndegeocello has been a working musician since she was a teenager. She’s probably best known for her biggest hit to date, “Wild Night,” a Van Morrison cover she recorded with John Mellancamp back in 1994. Meshell is 55 now and just put out her 11th solo album, “The Omnichord Real Book,” her first in five years. The album started as a kind of personal pandemic project before she decided to share it with the world, and it’s now been nominated for a Best Alternative Jazz Album Grammy award.

When Anna spoke with Meshell, she was just back from a quick European tour, and they talked about what it was like for her to grow up in the 70s and 80s in the Washington D.C. area, surrounded by music, and how she found the bass, her main instrument, by chance (and with a little help from Prince.) In this episode, Meshell shares how her life with music has evolved through the years, what she’s learned to let go of – as a performer, as a mother and a daughter – and how the ‘musical transmissions’ that she receives help her stay grounded and present to who she really is, moment to moment.

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Hannah is 34, has two kids, and lives in Casper, Wyoming, where she was born and raised. Hannah’s been working in construction for 3 years, ever since she graduated from Climb Wyoming’s 12 week job training program, where she earned her commercial drivers license. 

Climb Wyoming has been around for more than 36 years and helps single moms like Hannah gain financial independence and stability by teaching them the specific skills that are needed to get hired for local jobs. These are jobs that have a path for advancement, and can help get the moms out of poverty, like commercial truck driving for Hannah, or, for a mom named Kendra, becoming a bank teller at a bank in her small town. 

But Climb Wyoming also provides mental health and emotional support—among the moms and from the staff. This is key in helping moms like Hannah, who dropped out of school when she was 16 because of crippling anxiety. Anna talks with Hannah about finding a sense of belonging and how Climb gave her the tools to stay present in moments of stress. Anna also talks with Climb leaders, Katie Hogarty and Molly Kruger, about why centering mental health is crucial to the success of their program, and to 24-year-old mom, Kendra, who shares one of the most valuable lessons she learned at Climb: “We had a saying that says, ‘They hire you for your hard skills, but they fire you for your soft skills.’”

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Maria Bamford is a comedian and actress who you may know from her standup specials, her Netflix show Lady Dynamite, or her 2020 interview with Anna on our show. She’s just released a book called, Sure I’ll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere. In this new conversation, recorded live from the stage of City Arts & Lectures in San Francisco, Maria and Anna discuss some of the themes and stories that she writes about in her memoir, including her experience of hospitalization, advocating for herself at work, and her relationship with her parents, before and after their deaths.

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With their underdog-against-all-odds-redemption stories and epic training montages, sports movies can be the best source of support when we’re deep in the toughest moments in our lives. Earlier this year, when our executive producer, Liliana Maria, found herself surrounded by cancer and death in her close circle of family and friends, she turned to the Michael B. Jordan movie, Creed III, to help her keep going. She kept repeating Adonis Creed’s mantra to herself each day: “One step at a time, one punch at a time, one round at a time.” 

In this week's episode, hosted by Liliana Maria, we share your stories about sports movies like Hoosiers, Whip It, Brittany Runs A Marathon and Cool Runnings, which have accompanied you when you needed them most.

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When Giulia Lukach had her first manic episode, it seemed to come out of nowhere. She was in her late twenties, and had been married to her husband, Mark, for three years. “For him it was just so new because I’ve always been the happy girl,” Giulia told Anna in an interview in 2015. Her psychosis was dark and intense.“ The only thing she could talk about was the devil and that she needed to protect the world because the devil was inside her,” Mark said in their 2015 interview.

In 2023, Mark and Giulia sat down with Anna again. In the intervening years, they had a second child, and after years without Giulia having a manic episode, they thought they were in the clear. “We had this quasi-pseudo-science theory that maybe by sharing our story with the world, that was becoming this like protective barrier,” Mark told Anna. In this episode, you’ll hear parts of the couple’s original 2015 conversation, and how their outlook has changed since, both in how they treat each other, and how they deal with the unknown. “I have been to war with myself and with my mind many times,” Giulia said, “knowing that my episodes can come at any moment – that's like high anxiety for me – and so I literally live in the moment now. I only live in today.”

Also, side note: Will you be in New York City on Saturday, December 9th at 12:30pm? Come to a Death, Sex, & Money live event at Caveat, a cabaret on the Lower East Side, to celebrate the show’s run at WNYC. We’re calling it Four Interviews and a Funeral. Join Anna, the team, special guests, and dance along to live music. Tickets are available here.

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This fall, Tony! Toni! Toné! is on tour for the first time in twenty years. Raphael Saadiq's career took off as a member of the R&B trio —a group whose music taught Anna, a pre-teen at the time, a thing or two about romance and sexiness. Raphael left the group in the mid-'90s, launching a successful solo career and co-writing and producing music with everyone from Solange and Mary J. Blige to John Legend and D'Angelo. 

This week, we revisit Anna’s 2019 conversation with Raphael about how he's dealt with family deaths over the years, paying off his studio, and what his love life looks like today, in his 50s. 

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Dr. Bonnie Chen is no stranger to grief. The majority of her patients are facing a terminal illness and, as a palliative care doctor, her job is to help ease their symptoms. “It's a different kind of satisfaction than being able to fix someone or cure someone,” Bonnie told Anna, and she found pride in being able to offer comfort and have hard conversations about pain and about death, “I just always cherished that moment.” 

And then, in the summer of 2022 her 16-month old son, Benji, died suddenly, and Bonnie found herself thrust on the other side of the medical system, and bowled over by her own deep grief. In this episode, Bonnie talks about how Benji’s death has changed the way she thinks about her job and how she talks to patients.

Read an essay Bonnie wrote for The San Francisco Chronicle titled, “As a doctor, I thought I was familiar with death. Until it came for my son.”

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Albert and Sue Sommers met, fell in love and got married in their 40s. Albert is a rancher whose family has worked the same land in Pinedale, Wyoming for over 100 years, and Sue is a writer and multimedia artist who grew up in New Jersey. Since they married later in life and don’t have kids, that raised big questions about what would happen to Albert’s family ranch once they were gone. 

Ranching is a tough business, and the Sommers family land is in a part of Wyoming where property values have soared as very wealthy people have moved in. That increases development pressure to turn that land into cash. In 2010, Albert and his family decided on a different, novel path that both preserved the Sommers’ family land from development and enabled them to pass the business to a young neighbor who’s no relation. 

Albert and Sue tell Anna about how they got together and took on these big family decisions, and despite their offering differing opinions, how they “continue the conversation.” 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on 

Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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This week, we are very excited to introduce you all to one of our favorite podcasts: Heavyweight, hosted by Jonathan Goldstein. First, Jonathan chats with Anna about the art of asking difficult questions, why he loves awkward phone calls, and the emotional power of deadlines. Then, we're playing the first episode of Heavyweight’s new season. In it, Jonathan finds out his childhood best friend is dying, and though they haven't spoken in years, Jonathan and Lenny begin nightly phone calls. 

New episodes of Heavyweight are available every Thursday through the end of the year — listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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The filmmaker behind HBO’s How To with John Wilson shares how his hobbies, like checking Craigslist ads obsessively, make him feel more deeply connected.

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Over the past 20 years, Adonis Williams has moved thousands of people in and out of New York City. With each move, he catches a glimpse of a life in transition. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Anna and Ellen Burstyn check in 9 years after they first spoke. Ellen talks about the relationships that make up her life in this moment, her dog, and finding novelty in the everyday.

You can listen to the original interview here. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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We’re listening back to one of Anna’s favorite episodes, when actor Ellen Burstyn invited us into her apartment for a sprawling interview about her past and present.  

In next week’s episode, you’ll hear a new conversation between Anna and Ellen, recorded just a few weeks ago. But until then, you can also listen back to Ellen’s conversation with journalist and feminist icon Gloria Steinem on our show from 2016 here. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Anna follows up with Sarah Short, the mom who became a surrogate to pay off debt. They discuss her divorce, starting her own business, and why this chapter of her life feels “freeing.”

And if you're a Maria Bamford fan, Anna is interviewing her on stage in San Francisco on Saturday, October 14th, as part of City Arts & Lectures. You can get tickets to join them in person or watch remotely here: https://www.cityarts.net/event/maria-bamford-3/

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Lawrence Bartley was first on the show in 2014 while he was still in prison. In this new episode, he talks about becoming an award-winning journalist and the negative impact of a headline from our show. 

Watch Inside Story here: https://www.themarshallproject.org/inside-story 

Listen to Lawrence's previous DSM episodes here: https://www.wnyc.org/people/lawrence-bartley/ 

Get tickets for Anna’s October 14th conversation with Maria Bamford here: https://www.cityarts.net/events/ 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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The New York Times journalist talks about the difficulties of early parenthood, the lure of communal living, and why he loves Burning Man.

Want more from Ezra on the topics in today’s episode? We recommend the following: 

This episode of The Ezra Klein Show with scholar Kristen Ghodsee on communes and intentional communities (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/09/opinion/ezra-klein-kristen-ghodsee.html), a conversation The Atlantic’s Jerusalem Demsas about homelessness and the origins of our current housing crisis (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/18/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-jerusalem-demsas.html), an interview with writer Sheila Liming on loneliness in America (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-sheila-liming.html), and two interviews he’s done with child psychologist Alison Gopnik (https://www.vox.com/podcasts/2019/6/13/18677595/alison-gopnik-changed-how-i-think-about-love, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/16/podcasts/ezra-klein-podcast-alison-gopnik-transcript.html). Finally, Annie Lowrey’s piece about her experiences with pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting: “What Counts As the Life of the Mother?” (https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/08/pregnancy-birth-complication-abortion-life-of-mother/671006/).

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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The 79-year-old musician tells Anna about coming into his gender identity, “being cared for” by his bandmates, and the joys–and pitfalls–of finding success later in life.

Listen to "Transmissions" here (https://open.spotify.com/album/6X7rxq4bKcwPTKRFgIzR30?si=BfLeHGcKRS-uC0O5T9irBA), and you can stream his new album “The Ones Ahead” here: https://open.spotify.com/album/0AdkBNWEM8uprSOb2ah8aD.

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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We revisit our most popular episode, featuring your stories about secret hard drives, fantasy plot lines, illegal downloads, titillating Tumblr feeds, and giving porn up completely.

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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In this episode we asked listeners if they were currently planning a wedding, and if money had become a sticking point. We heard from couples with vastly different ideas of what they wanted to spend, about opinionated parents and in-laws, tips from people who managed to spend less, and one Icelandic wedding planner’s mission to give the gift of a free wedding to a lucky, deserving couple. 

Want to learn more about Pink Iceland’s “Queer Wedding Giveaway”? Visit their webpage here. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Kate Beaton was determined to work her way out of debt. But nothing could have prepared her for the experience of toiling in the Canadian oil sands.

This episode is from This is Uncomfortable, a podcast from Marketplace about life and how money messes with it, hosted by Reema Khrais. You can find a more detailed episode description here. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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The author talks about arguing in high school English classes, learning to manage money, and his evolving relationship with the Internet.

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Two years after Anna’s first conversation with a listener named Jack, she called him back for an update on his relationship with his dad, and his relationship to firearms.

You can take our 10th anniversary survey here (https://forms.gle/27xgjCXLcW33dMZZ7), and listen to our episode with Ellen Burstyn here (https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/episodes/how-ellen-burstyn-learned-survival).

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Kids look to their parents to keep them safe and to show them how much risk they can handle, but parents are often winging it as they walk that line. In this episode, Anna talks to Alexis, a parent of an 8 year-old with an anxiety disorder, about how she learned to adjust her parenting through a parent-focused therapy program directed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz, author of Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents, who also talks to Anna about his approach. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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Mississippi-based reproductive justice activist Laurie Bertram Roberts updates Anna on life after Dobbs. Plus, a story from the podcast More Perfect on two legal scholars’ reimagining of abortion law.

You can hear Anna’s original conversation with Laurie here (https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/episodes/abortion-dobbs-v-jackson-mississippi-death-sex-money), and subscribe to More Perfect here (https://link.chtbl.com/mrUQogCI?sid=dsm). 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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The acclaimed poet talks about falling in love with poetry in New York basements, caring for his brother, and mastering — and walking away from — writing.

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

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In the final episode of Hold On, a national call-in show about our mental health, Anna talks to organizational psychologist Melissa Doman, author of Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health at Work...Here's Why (And How To Do It Really Well), about how and when to address mental health issues in the workplace, and listeners call in with questions, success stories, and times disclosing a diagnosis to a boss did not go so well. 

Find resources here, and our whole Hold On series of live call-ins here: https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/articles/hold-mental-health-resources

Also out this week is On the Media's companion piece to the episode we did together about Tasha Adams, the ex-wife of Oath Keepers' founder Stewart Rhodes. Rhodes was sentenced to 18 years in prison for seditious conspiracy in the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Listen to On the Media's story here. 

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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In this episode of Hold On, our live national call-in series about mental health, we asked listeners to call in if the idea of getting therapy was something they felt excluded from, either because of how they were raised, what they looked like, or expectations around masculinity and what it means to be strong. Dr. Avi Klein, psychotherapist, and Danielle Muñoz, director of Basic Needs at California State University, Long Beach, talked about their experiences helping people who were reluctant or nervous to get started. 

Find resources here, and our whole Hold On series of live call-ins here: (https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/articles/hold-mental-health-resources).

Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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