Death, Sex & Money

Before the pandemic, Dale ran an event space in Knoxville, Tennessee. After cancelling every booking this month—which was set to be their busiest ever—she finds herself wondering how to share the burden of her financial anxiety with her husband—and how to square the fact that after years of hustling to make her business a reality, she's really enjoying having some time alone.

This episode is part of a special Financial Therapy series here on Death, Sex & Money, hosted by Amanda Clayman. If you have a money anxiety weighing you down, send an email or a voice memo to financialtherapy@wnyc.org. Find the entire series at deathsexmoney.org/financialtherapy.

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Many of our financial situations have changed drastically in the past two months. We're calling on a financial therapist to help us sort through all of the emotions those shifts are bringing up. Listen out for our special series with Amanda Clayman, starting this Wednesday, May 20, in the Death, Sex & Money podcast feed. 

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Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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The former secretary of state reflects on how now, in her 80s, she's re-experiencing a feeling she had in her 20s—after graduating from college and putting her career aside for family.

We're collecting your memories and stories about people you've lost to COVID-19. What's something you'll never forget about them? What were they passionate about? What's a memory about them that makes you smile? Record a voice memo and send it to remembering@wnyc.org.

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A listener named Lindsay, who works as a nurse in an ICU, is struggling with the way her patients are dying from COVID-19. 

Have thoughts to share with Lindsay? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. 

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The bestselling writer reflects on her sense of pride, and why she's got no problem going back to an hourly job "the minute it feels like this is over."

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A lot has changed in the student loan landscape since the pandemic hit. In this special collaboration with NPR's Life Kit, student loan expert Betsy Mayotte answers your questions about who is covered under the CARES Act, how private loan borrowers can get relief, and what this all means for you if you're enrolled in Public Service Loan Forgiveness.

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Listener Diane Davis and author John Green have spent years learning tools to manage their obsessive thoughts and fears of contamination. But COVID-19 is putting all of them to the test.

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We check in with Alana Duran, who has lupus and received a donor kidney several years ago from her new girlfriend at the time, Lori Interlicchio. 

What are you noticing about physical touch and intimacy right now? Whether you're partnered or single, we want to know how touch—or a lack of it—is making you think about your romantic life. Tell us about it at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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One of the things writer Tayari Jones has learned in isolation is mastering different forms of connection, from re-learning how to teach her college students over Zoom to sending money to friends in need. The simplest way she's connecting? Greeting cards! "People love to receive cards and I have so many of them and I just imagined that if people are at home alone feeling isolated, wouldn't it be nice to get a card even if it's the wrong holiday?"

In that spirit, this weekend we're asking you to send a greeting card to someone in your life. Send us pictures, record a voice memo and email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org by Monday morning.

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"I'm just a lucky guy," John Prine told me in our 2018 interview. We will miss him. 

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Songwriting icon Bill Withers died this week at 81 years old. Today, we revisit my conversation with him—from the very first episode of Death, Sex & Money.

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A few weeks back, we created a Pandemic Tool Kit for those of us who are staying home during the COVID-19 crisis. But we also wanted to hear from those of you who can't stay home right now because your jobs have been deemed essential—about what's on your mind right now, and what's helping you cope. These are your stories. 

Are you in financial flux right now due to COVID-19? Tell us about it at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.

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We asked essential workers to write in about what they need, and what they're thinking about. Here's what one surgical nurse in Ohio told us.

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If you’re an essential worker who isn't able to stay home, we want to know what’s on your mind right now and what’s helping you. Record a voice memo and send it to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And if you are staying at home right now—we have an assignment for you too. 

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Jason Isbell was a restless guitarist. Amanda Shires was a fiddler who turned his life around. In 2014, they were a year into marriage, and discovering that sobriety and success come with new challenges.

Want more? Here are a few other conversations from our archive featuring Jason Isbell and Amanda Shires: 

Live from the Internet: Jason Isbell, Amanda Shires & You: The couple took listener calls along with Anna about relationships, faith and music. 

Jason Isbell & Will Welch: Somebody Needs Me: Jason guest hosts Death, Sex & Money, and talks with his best friend and GQ Editor in Chief Will Welch about sobriety and mental health. 

What Rockstars And Sober People Already Know About Quarantine: Jason talks with Anna from his home in Nashville during the COVID-19 pandemic, about how coming on and off of tours has helped prepare him for sobriety in quarantine, and about the music he and Amanda are listening to right now. 

And if you're looking for our Jason Isbell-inspired quarantine Spotify playlist, here it is. 

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"It's bringing me back to early recovery....I have to think about the things that keep me sober for right now, because we have no idea what tomorrow is going to look like." 

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And here's that Spotify playlist we promised you in the episode, with some of the songs Jason mentioned that he and Amanda are listening to during their self-quarantine. 

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This week, you've been helping us build a Pandemic Tool Kit. Now we want to see it in action! Pick something to do from the kit this weekend and send in your field reports from your activities of choice—pictures, voices memos, emails, whatever—to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org by Monday morning. We’ll share how we're all putting this tool kit to use in our newsletter.

Not subscribed to our newsletter yet? Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. We're sending them out a few times a week right now. 

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The High Maintenance star reflects on his childhood, what he's learned from his divorce, and why he's starting to smoke less weed.

Looking for some TV recs? Here are five of my favorite High Maintenance episodes. I only picked from the last four seasons of HBO for ease in finding. The whole web series is amazing, which you can find here.

"Dongle" (Season 3, Episode 7): A Puerto Rican man who just arrived in New York starts work on a road crew and starts a flirtation with his bodega guy.

"Googie" (Season 2, Episode 6): The Guy is recovering home after a bike injury after smoking a lot of pot and streaming a lot of television, he goes out for a walk.

"M.A.S.H." (Season 3, Episode 1): A wake brings together a collection of people upstate, who join together in an inspired music jam. 

"Adelante" (Season 4, Episode 6): An encounter with ex in an Uber pool, and a dental hygienist goes on a date with a patient and then returns to her home in the Bronx.

"Scromple" (Season 2, Episode 5): The Guy and his ex-wife run into each other in a hospital.

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Anna and Kai Wright, host of WNYC's The United States of Anxiety podcast, take your calls about how the coronavirus is impacting your life, your relationships, and your plans—and how you're coping with it all. 

You can find coronavirus tips and resources that we've compiled at deathsexmoney.org/coronavirus, and you can listen to The United States of Anxiety wherever you get your podcasts, or at wnyc.org/anxiety.

If you're not already signed up for our newsletter, do it today! We're going to be reaching out a few times a week as we all get through this together. Subscribe today by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter.

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We asked you why you're not having sex—right now, or ever. These are your stories. 

How is the coronavirus impacting your life? How is it changing the way you think about your relationship to other people? Anna is taking your live calls this Friday, March 13, from 3-4pm Eastern (12-1pm Pacific) along with United States of Anxiety host Kai Wright. Call them up during that time at 844-745-8255. 

Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now.

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A listener talks about why he thought hiring sex workers could save his marriage⁠—while also knowing it could destroy it. 

We're looking for your stories about climate change, and about what happens when you take a minute to slow down and force yourself to focus on it. What do you think about? How do you feel? And then, what happens next? Send a voice memo to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. 

Sign up for our newsletter by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox.

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The comedian talks with me about what mental illness has taught her about managing money and allowing herself to be loved. 

Maria's new comedy special is called Weakness Is The Brand. Listen to This American Life episode 261 to hear more about the Gottmans, the husband and wife psychologists Maria has turned to for marriage advice.  

If you or someone you love is at risk of suicide, please go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ to find resources and someone to talk to. 

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After years of working as a physician, Ken Jeong quit to pursue acting. Then his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, and he found himself needing to think like a doctor again.

This episode was originally broadcast in 2015.

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I talk with the dancer and choreographer about the low-budget beginning of her prolific career, and about dealing with new physical limitations while creating new works in her late 70s.

Send a Death, Sex & Money Valentine! Find episodes to send to your loved ones, as well as a special Valentine's e-card, at deathsexmoney.org/valentine.

Sign up for our newsletter by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox.

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The writer reflects on her first relationship with a woman, finding the words to talk about experiencing abuse, and the process of writing it all down in her memoir.

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A conversation with a psychologist about the importance of friends who cross racial lines—and those who don't. 

Want to reflect on how race has factored into your friendships? Take our survey at deathsexmoney.org/friendship. Afterward, you can see how other people have responded to the survey questions, and we'll also send you a recommended reading list. 

And, as always, you can sign up for our newsletter by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox.

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Your stories about race and friendship brought up a lot of questions. Our friends at NPR's Code Switch podcast have some answers.

And if you missed it, make sure you check out our episode right before this one, called "Between Friends: Your Stories About Race and Friendship." Plus, take our survey to examine how race plays into your own friendships, at deathsexmoney.org/friendship.

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"Your white friend can just make one comment and it feels like a trap door has opened up from underneath," one listener told us when we asked for stories about race and friendship. "And I’m thrust back into the realities of living in a racist America."

Today: Your stories about when race became a flashpoint in your friendships. Tomorrow, we'll share an episode from our partners at the NPR podcast Code Switch, featuring expert advice on navigating those flashpoint moments around race—and explaining why it's so hard to make, and maintain, cross-racial friendships.

Want to reflect on your own friendship patterns? Take our survey at deathsexmoney.org/friendship. Afterward, you can see how other people have responded to the survey questions, and we'll also send you a recommended reading list. 

And, as always, you can sign up for our newsletter by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox.

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What happens inside Planned Parenthood has long been at the center of a raging political debate in the U.S. But we don't often hear from the patients who rely on their clinics for care. 

This episode was originally broadcast in 2016.

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The writer reads an essay about his mom, and explains why she always made New Year's "determinations" instead of "resolutions."

We want to hear YOUR determinations! Record a voice memo telling us what you "will" do in 2020, and send it to us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. We'll share them back with the entire Death, Sex & Money community soon.

Here's one determination for you: You WILL sign up for our newsletter this year! Do it now by going to deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you behind-the-scenes updates, podcast listening recommendations, and some pretty incredible listener letters from our inbox.

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The team reflects together on the best Death, Sex & Money moments of 2019—things you heard on the show, and things you didn't.

Donate to Death, Sex & Money before the end of the year, and we'll send you one of our fabulous Maternity Leave Lineup posters, signed by Anna Sale! Plus, you'll be supporting the work we do here at the show, and the community we're building together. Give now at deathsexmoney.org/donate.

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The musician on her "run and gun" days in the early '90s, and the two affairs that shaped her adult life.

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At an annual pilgrimage back to a former Japanese American incarceration site, we hear from people reliving complicated childhood memories, and descendants looking for answers.

For more about Japanese American incarceration and the language we use to talk about it now, check out this episode from the NPR podcast Code Switch, called "America's Concentration Camps?"

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There's the cliche: someone cheats, crockery is thrown, lawyers are called. But your stories about cheating were much more varied, with some unpredictable conclusions. 

If you like this episode, check out this week's episode of the Aria Code podcast, from our friends at WQXR. It's all about "Dove sono," the aria about infidelity from The Marriage of Figaro, and includes a conversation with sex advice columnist Dan Savage. 

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"Your life will be greatly enhanced by spending time with dying people," Anne Lamott says. "Death is not the enemy. Snakes are." 

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Hasan Minhaj was drawn to comedy because of its "radical honesty." But that hasn't always translated well to his personal life. 

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Domestic violence. The ripples of the financial crisis. A new immigrant's dashed hopes. This is what we heard about two years ago after we asked, "Why'd you start driving for Uber?"

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Angela worked in the collections industry for 15 years. Now, she's banned from the industry for life⁠—and is getting collection calls after falling behind on her own bills. 

We're still collecting your stories about the moments where race became a flashpoint in a friendship. Is there a conversation you had that you’re still thinking about? Something you couldn’t work through with a friend? Write us an email or record a quick voice memo and send it to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org 

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After a breast cancer diagnosis at 35, author Kate Pickert reflects on maintaining normalcy during treatment, why she didn't tell her daughter she was sick, and how she thinks about mortality now.

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In comedian Chris Garcia's new podcast, Scattered, he sets out to uncover the truth about his dad—a man who survived Castro’s labor camps only to lose his way in search of the American dream. 

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The writer and poet traces the joy and shame of learning about sex, mourning his mother, and finally feeling financially comfortable.

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Betsy Mayotte knows that the student loan system is overcomplicated⁠—she worked inside of it for 20 years. Now she's tackling borrowers' problems, one email at a time. 

Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans.

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Hundreds of you told us about feeling duped, overwhelmed, and ashamed of your student debt. But we also heard stories about how some of you took back control. Here's how you did it.

Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans.

This week's newsletter includes updates on some of the people featured in today's episode. Subscribe at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox. 

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More Americans are taking out more student loan debt and taking longer to pay it back. But we don't often talk about the impact that it has on our lives. 

Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans.

This week's newsletter includes updates on some of the people featured in today's episode. Subscribe at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox. 

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At 75, E. Jean Carroll is calling out the men who've sexually assaulted her—including, she says, the president. But talk to a therapist about it? No thanks.

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Vickie Goodwin tried to raise her husband's self esteem early in their marriage. But when he started cross dressing publicly, she struggled to accept that it was part of who he was. 

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Musical icon Raphael Saadiq talks to us about using music to cope with loss, reflecting on love, and creating light in darkness. 

Listen to Anna's Spotify playlist of her favorite Raphael Saadiq songs and collaborations here.

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We hear from you often about pregnancy loss, and the grief that accompanies it. Here is one listener's story. 

And if you've been through pregnancy or infant loss, check out our collaborative spreadsheet. It's a place where you can suggest the books, podcasts, songs and other things that have helped you grieve, and read through other listeners' suggestions as well. 

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This month, we've been talking about drinking, and asking you what you do when the impulse to drink hits⁠—and you don't want to indulge. 

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The writer talks about how alcohol has helped him let go of his inhibitions and embrace his sexuality—after growing up in a house where drinking often led to violence.

In our last episode, we asked you about what you do when you're trying to cut back on drinking—and the desire for a drink hits. What do you do instead? Record a voice memo and send it in to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. 

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