Yasir Qadhi

Of the characteristics of the believer is trustworthiness (amānah).In Episode 7 of my Ramaḍān series, I discuss the importance of fulfilling our trusts, and the types and categories of trust, and how the Quran and Sunnah praises this noble characteristic. It is interesting to note that the word for being trustworthy (amānah) is from the same root as faith (imān), and in fact in a Prophetic hadīth, he (SAW) said, "There is no imān in the one who has no amānah." The reason why the two are related is because when we believe in Allah (imān), we feel a sense of serenity and peace; and the only way to be close to someone is to feel safe in their presence and trust them (amānah). Of the categories of amānah is to fulfill your promises, and guard a person's secrets, and do your duties assigned to you diligently. The greatest amānah to fulfill is the amānah that is owed to Allah: to believe in Him, and worship Him in accordance with the Sharī'ah.

One of the seminal mannerisms that defines a person of faith is the control that he has over anger. The believer, even if he becomes angry, manages to keep that anger in check, and not act or speak upon that anger. Allah describes the people of taqwa as those who '...control their anger' [كاظمين الغيظ]. And our Prophet (SAW) remarked that the strong person is not one who is able to overpower others, but rather the one who can control his temper. In one hadith, he said that the one who controls his anger has conquered not only his own nafs, but also his qarīn (the Shaytan that whispers to him), and the qarīn of the one who tries to make him angry. Being the role model that he (SAW) was, there is not a *single* instance in his entire life in which his temper got the better of him. Even when his anger was known to others, he always managed to control it and keep it in check

Of the characteristics of the believer is wisdom (ḥikmah). The believer acts with wisdom, and is eager to gain more of it. The Prophet Ibrahīm prays to be blessed with more wisdom; our Prophet Muḥammad (SAW) asked Allah to grant wisdom to Ibn `Abbas (r), and he told us that wisdom is the lost-item of the believer, wherever one finds it, one should benefit from it. As with all qualities, one part of wisdom is innate and Divinely gifted at birth, but another part is acquired and can be learned. So the one who is sincere, and humble, and acquires knowledge, and implements what he knows, and learns from other's experiences and his own experiences, shall continuously be on a path to better his wisdom.

Of the characteristics of the believer is to be thoughtful before acting: the believer does not act rashly or impetuously. In the hadith: "Acting with forethought is from Allah; and acting in haste is from Shayṭān..." [Tirmidhi]We learn this lesson from many stories of the prophets: the Prophet Yunus (as) was chastised because he acted on impulse, whereas the Prophet Yusuf (as) was honored by the King because he thought through and planned before acting. The believer plans, and looks at the possible repercussions of his actions, and does not act rashly. Of the ways we protect ourselves from acting on impulse is:1-Always take time (when possible) before undertaking any major decision. Simply letting an idea ruminate in your mind for a while will give you different angles to look at it from.2- Never act or speak while angry. 3- Get advise from loved ones, close friends, and experts. This is the Islamic process of 'shūra'. 4- Pray the istikhāra prayer and seek Divine Guidance.

In Episode 3 on 'The Manners of the Believer', I discuss the importance of always speaking the truth (ṣidq). The Prophet (SAW) said, "I command you to speak the truth, for speaking the truth leads to piety, and piety leads to Paradise..."Notice how the key to piety is to be honest and factual in all that we say. Some matters are more sacred than others, hence we need to be even more careful (such as speaking about the religion; or swearing by Allah...). And there are some some exceptions to this rule (such as words of love said between family, where exaggeration is in fact encouraged).The general rule, though, is that we should be as factual and honest as possible, and we learn from the story of Ka'b b. Mālik that even if being truthful might be painful, in the long run, it will always be better for us.

In Part 2 of our Ramaḍān Series on 'The Manners of the Believer', I discuss the defining characteristic of the worshippers of Allah: humility. Allah says in the Quran: "The true servants of the Most Compassionate are those who walk on the earth humbly..." [Furqān: 63]. And we are told that a person who has even an atom's weight of arrogance in his heart shall never enter Paradise. A sign of humility is to recognize the truth and submit to it - and this can be tested with one's own ego. If you know you have done a wrong to someone or committed a mistake, yet you still find it difficult to ask him for forgiveness or admit your mistake, this is a clear sign that humility is lacking. A Divine gift that is bestowed to those who are truly humble is that of acceptance and respect: if a person genuinely has humility in his heart, Allah blesses that person's reputation and he actually becomes beloved to the people. It is as our Prophet (SAW) said: "Whoever humbles himself for Allah shall be raised up by Allah" [Aḥmad].

My Ramaḍān series has begun alḥmadulillah! This year, I will be doing a series entitled, "The Manners of the Believer," and the goal will be to educate ourselves regarding the noble akhlāq that believers should embody. In today's introductory lecture (see link in comment below), I discuss the meaning of 'akhlāq', the types of manners, some blessings of perfecting manners, and then dive into the subject of whether one's manners are inherent from birth, or acquired. We learn that while indeed all of us are inherently born with and predisposed to certain characteristics, that is not an excuse for us to retain status quo. We are all obliged to better ourselves, and Allah in His Infinite Wisdom will reward each one according to his or her own struggles. How does one better a mannerism that he or she might not have? Four points: Knowledge of its blessings and reality (like Luqmān taught his son) Having a role-model to see this manner implemented (and the best role model is the Prophet SAW)Learning through one's own trials and experienceMaking du'a to Allah to be blessed with good manners (as is the Sunnah).