The Couples Therapist Couch

So many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. Unfortunately, there has historically been a lack of education about this for couples and a lack of support.

In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more intensive support is required.

Bina Bird is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Haslet Texas and helps couples navigate the pregnancy and postpartum phase of life.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Get your free handout about the impact of prenatal loss on relationships

Check out Bina's website here: hasletcounseling.com

Join Bina's facebook group for Maternal Mental Health Providers

In this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now.

Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

Her new book that just came out is called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Lynn is giving away a free chapter from her new book: Chapter from Therapy with a Coaching Edge

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

In this episode, Erika Miley talks about the importance for therapists to get more comfortable with talking about sex. We all have our own sex "stuff" and the more we explore that and get education about sex, the more we can help the couples we work with.

Erika Miley is a mental and sex therapist. She is the founder of the center for mental and sexual health. She hosts a podcast called Sex Talk with Erika Miley and has a facebook group called Sex Talk with Erika Miley Professionals Group.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Check out Erika's website at ericamiley.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.

In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being aware of these and open to learning more about relationships we may not have worked with before.

Martha is the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. The Institute is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. She also offers training and support to therapists.

Her dream is to debunk myths and prominent cultural beliefs that disrupt intimate connections between partners, and help create a world where it is easy to find a therapist who can work effectively with relational intimacy challenges.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples.

She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include:

1. The honeymoon phase 2. Differentiation 3. Exploration 4. Reconnection and 5. Synergy

Leanne Clarkson, MPCC is a clinical counselor and certified couples counselor from the Couples Institute; Bader/Pearson Developmental Model, and an Addictions Counselor in Vancouver, Canada.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Leanne's website at www.heartsmatter.ca

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There are very different ways that men and women are socialized in our culture. Often, this reality is unspoken and creates challenges for relationships. As therapists, we frequently see this in our office and it can be a challenge to know how to address the situation.

In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions.

Joseph A. Losi, MA, LMFT walks with couples, men and women toward a more powerful belief of self and more creative, fulfilling relationships. He blends a decade of therapeutic work with couples and individuals as a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor in Training with fifteen years of experience in the Mankind Project. He helps his clients embrace authentic, vulnerable, and compassionate lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Joseph's website at josephlosi.com

Learn more about the mankind project at mankindproject.org

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jasmine's website at jfoulkescounseling.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful – Suspicious of your motives when you're being nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience.

Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thompson, LMHC is a licensed clinician, speaker, author, educator, consultant and certified family mediator. She offers life changing strategies, transformational empowerment, personal development and mental/emotional health messages to schools, churches, conferences, workshops and seminars.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Chautè at brandnewmejourney.com

Visit Chautè's practice website at inspirehopehealthhealing.com

Check out Chautè's book at Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?"

Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She discusses what goes through her head in the therapy room and does it in a very compassionate, human way. She is funny, and direct, and sensitive at the same time.

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author who writes the weekly "Dear Therapist" advice column for The Atlantic. She has written hundreds of articles related to psychology and culture, many of which have become viral sensations all over the world. A contributing editor for the Atlantic, she also writes for The New York Times Magazine, and appears as a frequent expert on relationships, parenting, and hot-button mental health topics in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR. Her next book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, is forthcoming in April. Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her @LoriGottlieb1 on Twitter.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Lori's Books

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma. They talk about being able to anchor the process of grief resolution in the context of EFT. Connecting with emotions is an important part of the healing process and attending to the role of shame can often be a barrier to forgiveness.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather are co-directors at the Vancouver Island Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. They have both been training with Sue Johnson since the 1990s and are EFT supervisors and trainers.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit the Vancouver Island EFT website

Visit the inEFT website for training in EFT

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track.

Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. He is one of the leading trainers in the world of couples therapy and offers an extensive certification program in this model. Pact has a reputation for effectively treating the most difficult couples.

Click the link to check out the previous interview with Stan in episode #35.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Stan's website at stantatkin.com

Also check out thepactinstitute.com

It is becoming more and more evident over time that incorporating aspects of trauma work into couples therapy is incredibly beneficial. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (one of the leading couples therapy models) is a great way to be able to work with how the trauma is coming up in the present relationship.

Kathryn Rheem is a certified EFT therapist and teacher of the model. She has worked closely with Sue Johnson for over ten years and does lots of training for therapists learning EFT. She is also the director of the Washington Baltimore center for EFT.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Kathryn's website at washingtonbaltimorecenterforeft.com

Couples retreats and intensives are getting more and more popular and for good reason. It is a very good way of making a lot of progress in a short amount of time.

In this episode, Rachel Zamore and I talk all about retreats. We cover the difference between an educational couples experience with a group of couples vs. a private couples retreat vs. an intensive. We also talk about the various options like discernment retreats, affair repair retreats and repair and renewal retreats.

Rachel Zamore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and offers compassionate, integrative counseling and relationship coaching for couples and individuals. Rachel's work is informed by her deep commitment to mindfulness, to loving presence, and to nurturing the wholeness and unique gifts of each person and relationship.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rachel's practice website at innerwell.org.

Visit Rachel's site for therapists at relationshipcrossroads.com

When working with couples in therapy, it can be easy to get lost in their story and stay focused on the content of what they are talking about. This often feels like a tennis match, watching the ball go back and forth. In the interview this week with Rob Fisher, he talks about how to use experiential techniques in order to help couples slow down, be more present, and tune into what is going on inside them.

Rob is a certified Hakomi Therapist and Trainer. He teaches couples therapy internationally. He is the publisher of The Couples Psychotherapy Newsletter and the author of a book about experientially oriented couples therapy entitled Experiential Psychotherapy With Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Rob's website for more information

Here is a link to the Hakomi Institute website

In this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma.

She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships.

We talked about what people can do in the present when these parts of themselves get triggered. Lisa also touches on sexual abuse survivors and the experience of trying to be sexual in adult relationships.

Lisa is a recognized expert in the strengths-based, depathologized treatment of trauma and has been in private practice for 32 years. She presents workshops and keynote addresses nationally and internationally, and is a clinical consultant to practitioners and mental health agencies in the United States, Canada, and the UK.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lisa's website for more information

Check out Lisa's most recent book, Finding your Ruby Slippers: Transformative Life Lessons from the Therapist's Couch

Bringing two families together can be one of the most difficult things for couples to deal with. Whether both partners have children, or one partner has children and the other doesn't, it is a very challenging situation. Most people go into these situations without any education or experience in knowing how to handle it. They often come to us as the Therapist looking for guidance and skills they can use to improve their situation.

Enter step-parenting expert, Karen Bonnell. Karen helps families who are going through divorce, working through co-parenting situations, and guiding step-families. She recently wrote a book called The Stepfamily Handbook along with Patricia Papernow. In this episode, she talks all about what to expect and how to work with Couples who are going through the process of becoming a stepfamily.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Karen's website for more information

Check out Karen's new book, The Stepfamily Handbook

Using psychodrama in therapy has the capability to help people unlock neural pathways in ways that they wouldn't otherwise be able to with typical talk therapy. This episode explores that process as well as goes through several examples of how to use psychodrama with couples.

Walter Logeman is a therapist in Christchurch, New Zealand who specializes in working with couples. He is a supervisor, trainer, and qualified Imago therapist. He conducts workshops for therapists on how to use psychodrama with their couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Walter's website

In this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy.

She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another.

Hedy Schleifer has been a therapist for decades and has a wealth of experience educating, training, and presenting to other therapists. Find out more about her and her model, and her trainings at hedyyumi.com.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Never before in history has there been such a movement towards individual happiness. For a long time people have had a strong sense of commitment to their marriage and to their families. That has all changed a lot in the last 70 years. Couples and family therapy has a evolved a lot along with this movement. More than ever before, people feel the crunch between individual happiness and marital commitment.

For this reason, Dr. Bill Doherty along with his daughter, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, started the Doherty Relationship Institute. He has written 15 books and regularly teaches and trains therapists and couples. He has served as President of the National Council on Family Relations and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Association. He is also the founder of Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit The dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

In this episode with the amazing Couples and Sex Therapist, Dr. Tammy Nelson, we talk about the importance of therapists being comfortable with talking about sex. We talk about how much people's sex lives (whether they have much of one or not) is a huge part of how we define ourselves. Tammy also talks about how to recover from infidelity from a sex therapist standpoint.

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a leader in the field of sex therapy. She has written books and regularly teaches other therapists how to work with couples. She has almost thirty years of experience working with individuals and couples and in private practice she focuses on helping people of all ages, orientations and genders find love, healing and passion.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Here is the free resource mentioned by Tammy: Six Weeks of Erotic Dates & A Protocol for Erotic Recovery

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Tammy's website at drtammynelson.com

Find out more about the 2020 Kauai CEU Retreat for Therapists

This episode is with Jill Fischer who is a leading Emotionally Focused supervisor and trainer. She provides listeners with a fantastic overview of EFT as a model and what is necessary for training.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the leading models in the world of couples therapy. We talked about the externship, core skills training, and how your own personal work as a therapist can enhance your ability to go deeper with the couples you work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Visit Jill's website at positivecouples.com

When couples come for therapy they are usually aware of anger, frustration, and lack of connection. As humans we are very good at figuring out who to blame our feelings on instead of communicating with vulnerability. Emotionally Focused therapy helps people to connect with themselves and their more authentic emotions. When people tap into their feelings of sadness, fear, and hurt and communicate those from a place of vulnerability, they are more likely to be able to be heard and connect with each other.

Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen is a trainer and supervisor for Emotionally Focused therapy. She works with a lot of therapists to help them grow in their ability to do good therapy with couples. She has a facebook group (link below) where you can learn more about the practice of EFT. She also has trainings on her website.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Click here to join the Emotionally Focused Therapy Facebook Group

Check out Becca's website at rebeccajorgensen.com

As therapists we get lots of training and do an amazing job of serving our clients in therapy. What most of us don't learn and need help on is how to build, run, and grow a great business. Whether you have clients coming in the door, willing to pay your full fee might have little to do with how effective you are as a therapist. There is a lot that most of us can do to improve our marketing, presence on social media, and networking with our communities.

Talking about all of this today is Allison Puryear from Abundance Practice Builders. Allison is passionate about helping therapists grow the practice of their dreams. She knows what it's like to love the work as a therapist, but not feel like you can even survive on what you are making. It is her mission to empower therapists to do the work they love AND make good money doing it.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Allison's website at abundancepracticebuilding.com

Join the Abundance Practice Builders Facebook Group

Learn more about the AbunDance Party membership site

For so many of us we don't have a strong sense of what we want in our lives. We spend a lot of time doing what we think will make us happy or what we think others want. Connectfulness is the process of defining what we really want for ourselves so that we can show up in our lives and relationships in a more authentic way.

Rebecca Wong is a couples therapist who works with couples in a deep way. She also works with therapists through one on one coaching, her mentorship program, and the signature retreat.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Rebecca's website at connectfulness.com

Find out more about her retreat and mentorship programs

Because of the way that men and women are socialized differently, there are particular challenges that men face when it comes to relationships. For this reason, Quentin Hafner wrote a book that provides a clear and actionable roadmap for becoming a successful husband.

The book, Black Belt Husband, outlines twelve character traits necessary to be a great husband, man and partner. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Quentin's website at quentinhafner.com

Get a copy of Quentin's book, Black Belt Husband

Often people try to please their partner and lose sight of what they want for themselves. It is important that we speak up for what we want in our relationships in order that we don't grow resentful over time.

In this episode with Dr. Jameson and Herdyne Mercier, they talk about how marriage takes work and they are dedicated to teaching couples the skills they need to have great relationships. They work with couples in their practice in Florida. They have a podcast called the Couples Counsel and have several videos on youtube for people to be able to learn about relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Mercier Wellness and Consulting

Listen to the Couples Counsel podcast

Watch the Mercier's relationship videos

Babies aren't born with the ability to have a healthy self-esteem and good boundaries with others. As humans, we learn these things from our parents, but often the education and modeling in our upbringing is lacking in some way. This relational trauma is what causes stress and problems for us in our adult relationships throughout our lives.

In this episode, Kim Ploussard talks about the 5 core issues that form the foundation of Pia Mellody's work. This is the framework for Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy and he credits Pia with providing the foundation for much of what he teaches. The 5 core issues are: 1. Self-esteem 2. Boundaries 3. Reality issues 4. Dependency 5. Moderation.

Kim Ploussard works a lot with couples in her practice in Albany, NY. She also does trauma intensives and is one of the coaches for Relational Life Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Kim's website at albanylifeworks.com

Learn more about the Healing Trauma Network

In this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapist, Figs O'Sullivan, conceptualizes a case from the standpoint of working from the EFT perspective. Relational Life Therapist, Shane Birkel, talks about how an RLT therapist would work with the same couple. Figs and Shane talk through some of the similarities and differences in the two approaches and how they view couples cases that come in for therapy.

Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Check out Figs's practice website at therapywithfigs.com

Check out the relationship quiz Figs created at Emaphi.com

In the last few decades there has been an amazing amount of progress and movement towards freedom for individuals in many societies. While this freedom has afforded new opportunities for people, it has also brought about a new level of anxiety. At the same time, there have been advancements and change in the way we use technology. People are more connected than ever, while feeling more isolated and confused about how to navigate these new waters.

The need for relationship education is more important than it ever has been before. In this episode, Signe Simon and Simone Humphrey discuss the new rules of relationships and how we can make sense of them. They talk about what is important for therapists to understand as we are seeing more and more clients impacted by these realities in their relationships and dating lives.

Signe and Simone are both Psychologists in New York and are the founders of Lovelink. They have a wealth of information on their website and you can find out more about listening to their podcast and the relationship workshops they are offering.

Find out more at Lovelink.co.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

As couples therapists, most of use have heard of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), but the same foundations of this model are being used more and more in working with children, their parents, and their families. This model is called Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT).

From an attachment perspective, there is an assumption that parents and children are "wired" together. Parents can be an active agent in healing for the child by: (1) interrupting symptoms and supporting health-focused behaviors, (2) helping their child to process overt and underlying emotions that may be fueling problematic thoughts and symptoms, and (3) leading the repair of relational injuries if applicable.

In this episode with Gail Palmer we talk all about EFFT, how it evolved from EFT and how she is using it to effectively help parents and children who have been stuck. She has developed and teaches other therapists how to do this model.

Gail is one of the founding members of the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute and co-director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy and is Chair of the Education Committee. For over twenty years, Gail has trained and supervised therapists and students in Emotionally Focused Therapy and has conducted Externships, Core Skills Trainings and workshops on a number of EFT topics across Canada, the United States and Europe. She is co-author of Becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist: The Workbook.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Link to the EFT home page

Emotionally Focused Family Therapy link to the new book by Jim Furrow, Gail Palmer, Susan Johnson, George Faller, and Lisa Palmer Olsen.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, IMAGO, Gottman, and Internal Family Systems.

The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

As children, we grow up with money messages that we don't even realize are being implanted in us. We often have a hard time knowing how to explore or challenge the psychology of money and how it impacts each of us in a personal way.

As therapists, especially in private practice, we must have a deeper understanding of money both for our business and for our personal lives. In this episode Tiffany McLain talks about the psychology of money, how fear holds us back, having the life we want, talking with clients about money, setting fees and much more.

Tiffany McLain is a therapist in private practice in San Francisco. She is the founder of heytiffany.com which is a wealth of resources to help therapists make more money.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

Don't forget to visit heytiffany.com for more resources

There is so much to consider when working with couples after an affair. The partner who feels betrayed is having a traumatic experience. They feel like the very person the depend on to support them is the one who has done something to hurt them more than anything. It is very important as therapists for us to have a clear sense of how we are helping people heal and recover from these situations.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte describes the method for dealing with affairs that is taught by the Gottman Institute. The process involves the steps of Atone, Attune, Attach and she goes into detail as to what this looks like in our work with clients.

Dr. Jennifer Lagrotte, DMFT, LMHC, LMFT, a therapist in practice in Parkland, FL, specializes in working with couples. She is an expert on showing couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. Her passion is couples, and she has dedicated her work to exclusively working with couples. Her speciality is affair recovery and uses the Atone/Attune/Attach Method, learned from in-person training with Julie and John Gottman. Learn more about her style at www.facetofacetherapy.com

If you want to find out the top 10 reasons people cheat or take a quiz on infidelity you can take a look here https://www.facetofacetherapy.com/therapy-services/infidelity/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Learn more about the membership site for Couples Therapists and get on the list at https://couplestherapistcouch.com/work-with-me/

This conversation explores the debate between differentiation and attachment. This episode is with the authors of an article entitled Attachment vs. Differentiation and in that article they use Emotionally Focused Therapy (Sue Johnson) vs. Crucible Therapy (David Schnarch) to compare these two models. We talk about whether these two developmental theories are compatible and whether or not it is effective for a therapist to try to integrate aspects of them at the same time, in our work with couples.

Nathan Hardy, PhD is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and professor at Oklahoma State University.

Adam Fisher, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and professor at Brigham Young University.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out their article here: Attachment vs. Differentiation

As Couples Therapists we know that most people just don't talk about sex. Because of this, when people face sexual issues it can feel overwhelming, anxiety provoking and stressful. In this episode, Dr. Stephen Snyder M.D. talks not only about how to help guide couples to reduce their anxiety about sex, but how to help them have ridiculously great sex.

Dr Snyder has specialized in sex and relationship therapy for over 30 years in Manhattan, where he's helped over 1,500 individuals and couples regain closeness and satisfaction in their relationships.

Dr Snyder is also the author of one of the most acclaimed sex and relationship books of our time, LOVE WORTH MAKING: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship (St Martin's Press, 2018).

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Stephen's website at sexualityresource.com

When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of.

In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own. We talk about how to help couples not only communicate, but also to make a plan that they can both feel good about and provide them with structure about how to work through difficult money conversations.

Kiné Corder is a best-selling author, international speaker, and psychotherapist specializing in financial therapy. She is the host of the Love and Money Podcast.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out kinecorder.com

Connect with Kine on Facebook: http://kinecorder.com/facebook

Connect with Kine on Instagram: http://kinecorder.com/instagram

Get the free money course: http://kinecorder.com/free-course

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

To learn more check out harvilleandhelen.com

and relationshipsfirst.org

As Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process.

As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case. We must also make sure to get each person's perspective separately. In this episode Shane Birkel goes into detail about how to manage that first session and how to make sure each partner feels heard in the process.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shane's practice website at shanebirkel.com

Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.

Also during this episode we talk about using a science based approach, the PLISSIT model, low desire, mismatch libido, erotic temperament, sexual function issues, and the willingness window.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with appearances on The Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show, and NPR. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Ian's website at iankerner.com

Ian's Books

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out the free gift from Ellyn at couplesinstitute.com/therapist.couch.podcast

Books

In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy

Tell me no Lies: How to Stop Lying to Your Partner - And Yourself - In the 4 Stages of Marriage

As therapists there is a lot we can do to make people feel more comfortable and safe to open up. Doing our own work to challenge biases is an important part of helping other people grow. Part of what is helpful is to be kink aware and come at any sexual conversation with a spirit of openness, understanding, and without judgement.

In this conversation with Heather Garner, she talks about how to get educated as therapists and continue to grow in order to make people feel safe and accepted. Heather is the founder of Garnering Change Psychotherapy, a group practice near Baltimore, MD. She has a passion for working with sexual minorities.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Heather's practice website at garneringchange.net

Resources

Black Rose: http://br.org/br/

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: https://www.ncsfreedom.org/ Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon Documentary: BDSM: It's Not What You Think http://www.bdsmdocumentary.com/

Many couples fall into a predictable dance that neither one of them want to be in. They end up being stuck in this pattern and can't seem to free themselves. One partner is the pursuer and one partner is that withdrawer. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws. In order to make progress, both partner must be able to give up their stance in this situation. George Faller has seen this pattern play out time and time again and has helped couples to be understanding of each other and make new moves that enable them to be free of the vicious cycles they get stuck in. George teaches couples that they can understand the pattern and work together. It is all about trusting the other partner and being able to change the dynamic. George Faller is a husband father, therapist, educator, speaker, writer, and global leading in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. He is a certified Supervisor/Trainer/Therapist in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, where he serves as president. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out George's website at georgefaller.com

Find out more about George's book Sacred Stress

Expectations for relationships are changing faster than ever. What was considered "normal" for our grandparent's generation is being challenged and evolving all the time.

In this interview with Shadeen Francis, we talk about the ever changing realities of relationship expectations for Millennials and Gen Zs. Much of what we discuss is helpful and important for any relationship.

Shadeen Francis, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, professor, and author. She has over 7 years of experience training, supporting, and collaborating with non-profit organizations, medical schools, homeless shelters, and university counseling centres. Her work allows people of all backgrounds to improve their relationships and live the lives they desire.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Shadeen's website at shadeenfrancis.com

When we assume that someone is right and someone is wrong, we are already setting ourselves up to be frustrated in the conversation. Instead of proving who is right, it is much more effective to be understanding and compassionate, especially with our partners.

Melvin Escobar beautifully describes the dynamics of power, privilege, internalized oppression, and cultural (in)sensitivity. Melvin has a private practice in Oakland, CA. He is also a registered yoga teacher. Melvin identifies as a queer cisgender man of color and second-generation El Salvadorian.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Melvin's practice website: melvinescobar.com

Resources

The People's Institute For Survival and Beyond

Beyond the Culture of Separation

Showing Up For Racial Justice

The UNTraining

Most therapists don't like the idea of being in front of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of others. We feel right at home with one or two people in our office, but we need to build confidence in showing up and getting our message out to the world.

Some of the best ways to do this is to have a fantastic website, being present on social media and reaching out to the media at large. Dr. Julie Hanks talks all about how to do this and what strategies to focus on as you begin to build your influence in the world.

Dr. Julie Hanks is the author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women. She is a private practice consultant and helps therapists grow their private practices and group practices. She has a website and facebook group called the Private Practice Toolbox. She teaches Rock the Media School for therapists.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out DrJulieHanks.com

Check out Julie's practice website at wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Julie's website for therapists, privatepracticetoolbox.net

and for the Rock the Media School

Click here to join The Private Practice Toolbox Facebook Group

connect @DrJulieHanks on social media

Video of Julie Singing

50 years ago men and women were more likely to know what each of their different roles were and feel competent to fulfill their partner in the relationship. In the last few decades women have become more empowered in their careers and men have become more involved at home. This has been a positive evolution for humans, but has led to a lot of stress on relationships.

John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. Dr. Gray's books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out John's website at marsvenus.com

and marsvenuscoaching.com

Going through a break up, separation or divorce is one of the most difficult things people ever have to face. In this episode, Katherine Woodward Thomas discusses how this process can be done with respect, care, and love so that everyone involved is less negatively impacted. This is especially important when children are involved. She outlines a 5 step process for couples to work together as they experience their uncoupling.

Katherine Woodward Thomas is a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities. She is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as well as creator of the Calling in "The One:" 49 Days to Love online course.

She is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. Links to those books below.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Katherine's website at consciousuncoupling.com

Find out more about Katherine at katherinewoodwardthomas.com

Books:

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

Calling in "The One:" 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues.

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books:

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

There are more and more people who might be defined as sexual minorities and it is as important as ever for therapists to be educated and sensitive all types of people they are working with. In this episode Jonathan Burstein discusses polyamorous relationships and how we might become more culturally competent as therapists. Couples need to feel like their therapist won't pathologize their lifestyle choices and make "poly" the problem when they are actually coming in for other relationship issues. There are some important considerations for couples who are considering opening up their partnership. Johathan Burstein is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Berkeley California. He specializes in working with LGBTQ and alternative relationship communities. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jonathan's website at jonathanburstein.com