Romancing the Pod

“Satan has a summer home in his voice box.”

This week's most romantic movie is... The Count of Monte Cristo. This film has everything: Terrible sense of directions, Montel-style paternity reveals, And landlocked sea-leg maintenance. If you love Spirit Halloween, goatee-level disguises, and the count of sandwiches, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Lady Chatterley’s Lover

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“Foiled again by our own made up rules.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Pride and Prejudice. This film has everything: Darcy’s opinion kink, historically accurate boredom, And more compliments that a potato is due. If you love only-hands thirst traps, laundry zip lines, and pig-testicle cinematography, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Count of Monte Cristo

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“Is it like a hubris Bermuda Triangle over there?”

This week's most romantic movie is... Titanic. This film has everything: Nudes leaked by the news, Ghost Math, And makeout-based maritime disasters. If you love synthesizer church, God’s cocktail, and walking-pasta immigration stories, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Pride & Prejudice (2005)

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“Everyone went to Berkeley.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Basic Instinct. This film has everything: way too much DNA, murder-for-profit royalties, And the interrogation full-frontal we deserved. If you love coked-out dance floor jealousy, wildly unethical psychiatrist hookups, and ice-pick happy endings, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Titanic (1997)

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“Every cafe he walks into looks like it’s about to have a poetry slam.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Eyes Wide Shut. This film has everything: wallet-sized stethoscopes, human furniture sex logistics, And an appropriately sized dance partner. If you love fake New York poetry-slam cafes, secret-society dweebs, and Tom Cruise turning lights on for 95 takes, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Basic Instinct (1992)

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“You better keep that pulp away.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... The Housemaid. This film has everything: Plate guys, Dalmatian coats, And the most evil “I know” in movie history. If you love John Wick housemaid franchises, juice-is-a-privilege children, and sandwich breaks in the middle of revenge arcs, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

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“I felt like I was sitting in a lecture that was being given by Elon Musk.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Indecent Proposal. This film has everything: gumball machines filled with caviar, shoes being kicked across the room, And a plot Natalie Wood would not be ok with. If you love unemployed-architect confidence, best-two-out-of-three roulette logic, and movie's that should not exist as a concept, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Housemaid (2025)

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“I’m like, 100% sure that’s the exact same excuse R. Kelly used. It didn’t work for him either.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Crossroads. This film has everything: Se7en-coded time capsules, menswear-coded lingerie, And aggressively notarized virgin consent. If you love Waffle House band diagnostics, Ghostbuster dad fanfic, and kissing in front of a giant Spy Kids poster, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Indecent Proposal

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“Hey, will you stop reading the stage directions and start reading your lines, please?”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Drive Me Crazy. This film has everything: collision-based sexual awakenings, a WB-grade Entourage origin story, And hot-air-balloon deadbeat dads. If you love whiteboard screenplay conspiracies, brass-tiger riding, and a confusing centennial dance, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Crossroads (2002)

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“Is this what it was like to be Matt Dillon in the 90s"

This week’s most romantic movie is... Wild Things. This film has everything: Versailles beach heels, an IQ score that makes Einstein look stupid, and bush-cam detective work. If you love rich-kid swamp noir, courtroom rug-pulls, and Kevin Bacon being weird in ways that feel legally actionable, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Drive Me Crazy (1999)

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“He just is at hardware store like Christian Gray buying all the zip ties.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Romeo Must Die. This film has everything: a heroine with factory-installed GPS, an hero stealing every car he can, And Bay Area Troubles cosplay. If you love deeds-nuts real estate logic, low-res X-ray bone breaks, and Vancouver pretending real hard to be Oakland, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wild Things (1998)

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“I can't incorporate the word pop into this press release.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Love Jones. This film has everything: unexpected Philly Fanatic thirst, Chuck E. Cheese token-wealth flexes, And weaponized Toasted Oat drama. If you love record-store “just give me her info” behavior, taking poetry way too literally, and ruthless editing/pacing nitpicks, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Romeo Must Die (2000)

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“They can't have sex until they get married. God said so.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Jumping the Broom. This film has everything: inappropriate touching, Saxophone mishaps, And a chef that is cookin up some magic. If you love Martha’s Vineyard class warfare, family secrets dropping right before the vows, and a cities in china that don't even exist, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Love Jones

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“It would be like standing right next to Gallagher as he smashes a watermelon”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Poetic Justice. This film has everything: a possible Italian sandwich, passing out in Waffle Houses, And a risky Yelp review reviews. If you love road trip poetry, Maya Angelou cameos, and Tupac delivering mail like it’s foreplay, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Jumping the Broom (2011)

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"Any way you slice that, that's the most interesting funeral you've ever been to."

This week’s most romantic movie is... Deliver Us From Eva. This film has everything: A Mayor involved in a pending sex scandal, a $5,000 house, And a plan that would straight up get you thrown in federal prison. If you love mayoral wingmen, salty sisters, and felonies as foreplay, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Poetic Justice (1993)

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"Paige made us look at duck titties"

This week’s most romantic movie is... Howard the Duck. This film has everything: Tiny used condoms, illegal jacuzzis you can rent by the hour, And a horrific truth about ducks that are "Tops". If you love Cajun sushi diners, Quack Fu mugging lessons, and a Stargate that’s somehow being used to test space gases, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Deliver Us from Eva

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"The Mask is sexy Animaniacs."

This week’s most romantic movie is... The Mask. This film has everything: a live action Pepe Le Pew, pants pockets filled with gags, And the dumbest version of the Hulk you'll ever see. If you love green zoot-suits, balloon-animal's crossing the rainbow bridge, and literal puppy heros, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Howard the Duck (1986)

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"May I Keep It"

This week's most romantic movie is... Robin Hood: Men in Tights. This film has everything: a cell block maitre d. Dummies built for battle. And Dave back when he was really funny. If you love velcro beards, soup-can helmets, and red-carpet rollup mid-brawl, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Mask, 1994

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"Like a church dance at a laser quest."

This week's most romantic movie is... Mannequin: On the Move. This film has everything: Sunglasses Scissors, Mole's with a rat tail, and an overly flirtatious Blue Knight. If you love sitcom-length plots, where-the-butt-starts debates, and GDP measured in mannequins, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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"She put her hands in God's mouth."

This week's most romantic movie is... When Harry Met Sally. This film has everything: Wagon wheel coffee tables, a surprise Christmas grovel, and a first kiss that was as weak as a LaCroix. If you love pastrami priorities, Chris Bridge's dating rules, and song-machine chaos, this episode's for you!

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What did you think of our episode on When Harry Met Sally? Tell us on social media @RomancingThePodShow (Facebook/Instagram), @RomancingPodSho (Twitter)

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"Holy shit, is this Christmas Carol, John Wick?"

This week’s most romantic movie is... Spirited. This movie has everything: Monthly Showers, Dolly getting Dickens'ed down, And the worst Tattoo ideas you ever hear come out of Tampa. If you love afterlife office politics, musical numbers that absolutely commit, and wildly confident bad ideas, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: When Harry Met Sally (1989)

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"I hope she's got a lot of lotion or another sex cardigan."

This week's most romantic movie is... Wicked: For Good. This film has everything: Technicolor Arrakis, the third worst pizza Paige has ever laid eyes on, and lifting a possible lover 20 feet off the ground... because of the implication. If you love whip-stealing women, killer songs, and two people yelling "JUST KISS ALREADY" at the screen, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Spirited 2022

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“Bitch, I am the Wizard”

This week’s most romantic movie is… Wicked. This film has everything: A flying squirrel playing drums, A master in chaos theory doing shitty slight of hand, And a Orgy when you least expect it. If you love erotically serious line readings, talking horses, and square-trouser roasts, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wicked: For Good (2025)

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“The sexiest thing a man can wear is a properly fitting apology.”

This week’s most romantic movie is… Die Hard. This film has everything: The world’s scariest airport, Graceful high kicks, And a man standing in front of his wife asking her to duck already. If you love film-school flexes, Krampus-level holiday pettiness, and Karate Kid chaos in a skyscraper, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wicked (2024)

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“ We’re Americans and consumerism is our God. ”

This week’s most romantic movie is… A Merry Little Ex-Mas. This film has everything: Ungrateful little shits, A tearaway tux posing as heroic formalwear, And the longest commercial for energy efficient appliances...ever. If you love sultry Saint Nick vibes, Simpsons snowplow callbacks, and stripper-puppeteer chaos, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Die Hard.

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“This movie was written by child GPT.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Our Little Secret. This film has everything: Idiots building business plans, A long lost MacFarlane brother, And a Praise and Worship band that actually slaps. If you love alien screenwriting seminars, phantom cookie exchanges, and time-traveling church-lady couture, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) .

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“The swine intervention.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Penelope. This film has everything: intimate corkscrew logistics, Bacon ads at the worst time, And nailing the premise of Love is Blind a full 15 years before the Lachey's decided to ruin peoples lives with it. If you love fairytale chaos, snack-based outrage, and messy modern romance, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Our Little Secret (2024)

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“Oh, look, it’s the trash-ass apple again.”

This week’s hottest movie is... The Wrong Paris. This film has everything: sexy shirtless land barons, a “Nashville” accent that’s as Nashville as Shania Twain, and proposals that sparkle with diamonds and, yes, actual gold bars. If you love city synonyms servicing skullduggery, a shirtless man "Washing" a horse, and a country girl realizing she needs more country in her life, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Penelope (2006) 

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“My brain just went ribbit.”

This week’s hottest movie is... The Shape of Water. This film has everything: terrible pick up lines. a secret hatch to untold pleasures. And a women who loves getting wet. If you love movies with cursed flirting, forbidden hardware, and unapologetically aquatic thirst, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Wrong Paris (2025)

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“Ma’am, you are not the devil, but you may be the devil’s daughter.”

This film has everything: a self-help guide for escaping incellery. religious recommendations from a stranger no one likes. And a cautionary tale about why you should avoid the super-hot stranger who’s a little too into you. If you love late nights with the devil and Brendan Fraser pining over his soulmates doppelgänger, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: The Shape of Water (2017)

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“He’s the worst ophthalmologist ever, he never saw any of this coming.”

This week’s hottest movie is... Crimson Peak.

This film has everything: a six foot baguette sadly loafing around, terrible real estate choices, And a mother doesn't love her daughter enough to properly warn her. If you love sad bread energy, cursed property vibes, and siblings that can't want to get one in, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next:

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“If he had brought a pig under his arm—it’s Hamlet.”

This week’s hottest movie is... Teen Witch. This film has everything: a bow-tyrant teaching civics, An agent of chaos that thinks he's in a different movie, And a hallway rap squad you wish would just lose themselves, and give you a moment with mom's spaghetti. If you love terrible teachers, gremlin energy, and haunted hallways, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Crimson Peak (2015)

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“I hereby sentence you to theater.”

This week’s hottest movie is... A Walk to Remember (With Guest Chris Demarais! From good Morning from Hell and Tales from the Stinky Dragon). This film has everything: court-ordered community service. a cardigan-based invisibility cloak. The town that is badly in need of Erin Brockovich. If you love gentle bad boys, Christian smugness, and the kind of confidence that you could only get from greasy bangs, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Teen Witch (1989)

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“For kids not allowed to watch Game of Thrones but craving incest-adjacent pop culture.”

This week’s hottest movie is... High School Musical.

This film has everything: a faux-flamenco fever dream, A locker-room intervention , and a Phantom of Albuquerque stalking local MILFs. If you love high school melodrama, motivational locker talks, and people that don't understand object permanence, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: A Walk to Remember (2002)

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“The brown barrel is loaded, Paige.”

This week’s hottest movie is... Mean Girls. This film has everything: a talent-show plea of “don’t look at me” that stuns, a pastry-dynasty slapdown, and a casual confession that is utterly pitch-black. If you love stage-fright spirals, mean-girl pastry wars, and hush-tone bombshells, this episode’s truly for you!

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Up Next: High School Musical (2006)

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"He both did and didn’t have sex with his mom and sister.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Not Another Teen Movie. This film has everything: a jock with an alarmingly “supportive” sister, A TED talk on how to give a proper 'Slow Clap', and an entrance so dramatic the whole school freezes until Amanda Becker moves. If you love parody deep-cuts, chaotic prom energy, and Captain America before the serum, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Mean Girls (2004)

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“Ducky, you’re a great friend. I’ll see you after the first divorce.”

This week’s hottest movie is... Pretty in Pink. This film has everything: Duckie serving glam-goth like he’s the spare heir in a vampire dynasty, more blazers and perms than you’d ever expect to see on literally everyone, and a prom dress so underwhelming you’ll never be able to brush your teeth without thinking about it again. If you love goth flair, adults-in-teen-clothes energy, and delightfully cursed DIY dresses, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

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“It's a little bit like if Sulley from Monsters, Inc. was sexy.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Your Monster. This movie has everything: a wellness look that screams “post-punk spa day.” An ex so bad he’s begging to be put in a bear suit. and an open bowl of Covid-flavored beans. If you love monster-meets-messy romance, petty ex-revenge, and chaotic health-hazard snack discourse, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Pretty in Pink (1986)

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“Not since Hook has more intention been placed into someone’s eyebrows.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Beastly. This film has everything: a hexed hall monitor in winged eyeliner, a drug-deal gone wrong turned Shakespearean IOU, and stump speeches for the Green Committee so honest it will break your heart. If you love cursed meet-cutes, campaign-level pettiness, and a script written like a horoscope, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Your Monster (2024)

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"Maybe mayonnaise can save democracy."

This week’s thirstiest movie is... Beautician and the Beast. This film has everything: a bigger, moodier version of Massimo, but with his own country; the literal nanny turning into a union organizer; and a dictator’s entire political ideology crumbling under the seductive, life-changing power of a mayonnaise-heavy sandwich. If you love fascist makeovers, hostile breakfast seating arrangements, and chickens with full emotional arcs, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Beastly (2011)

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“He only knows doggy style, Paige.”

This week’s hottest movie is... Beauty and the Beast. This film has everything: A cursed himbo with fangs, A toddler named after his visible head trauma. The full BEAST System™: bombardment via dinner theater, aggressive emotional bonding, a shift to “respectable boyfriend mode,” a library bribe, and a farewell gift that’s basically romantic spyware with a live feed. If you love gothic castles, enchanted codependency, and wondering whether a teacup was born a teacup, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: Beautician and the Beast (1997)

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“It takes three minutes to become an astronaut, according to this movie.”

This week’s hottest space mess is... Armageddon. This film has everything: Instant Astronauts, Thirst traps for middle America, A rogue Glock bouncing around in a spaceship. If you love seatbelt montages, flag-based character development, and gun safety violations in orbit, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

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“Are we just going to ignore the fact that Antonio Banderas drinks his brother’s head juice?”

This week’s hottest movie is The Mask of Zorro. This film has everything: a horny duel, a lusty confessional booth admission, and a vigilante live-action Puss in Boots. If you love pickled domes, teacup waltzing, and historical accuracy that’s legally inadmissible, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Armageddon (1998)

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“General Racism was Omar’s right-hand guy.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Jewel of the Nile. This film has everything: juggling Sufis, a slow-speed plane chase, and a boat with no driver, towing nothing but red flags. If you wish David Lean had cast Michael Douglas in Lawrence of Arabia, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: The Mask of Zorro (1998)

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“There’s no dick that good in the world.”

This week’s thirstiest mess of a movie is... Fool’s Gold. This film has everything: a maybe-teen yacht goblin, a grown man earnestly saying “boat swain,” and Kevin Hart playing a rum-soaked rapper-slash-loan-shark-slash-island oligarch. If you love sketchy ages, mispronounced nautical ranks, and shootouts that defy physics and employment law, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

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Two villains, both alike in evil.

This week’s thirstiest movie is Runaway Bride. This film has everything: performative egg eating, a third-act Homer Eisenhower reveal, and a print news column that’s basically if Andrew Tate knew how to read and immediately started doxxing hot women for USA Today. If you love petty shade, chaotic horse escapes, and two villains finding love, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Fool's Gold (2008)

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Where are the guns coming from?

This week’s campiest queer romcom spy fantasy is... DEBS.

This film has everything: secret agents in ceiling swings, a sapphic supervillain, and tech so confusing Todd thought it was legit teleportation. If you love standardized-test-based spy recruitment and falling in love with the woman who just tried to murder all your friends... this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Runaway Bride (1999)

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“Did I fall asleep for a second?”

This week’s hottest movie is... The Wedding Banquet. This film has everything: Avant-garde quilt energy. Sexy paperwork. And a surprise pregnancy caused by Bowen's THAAAAAAAAANG.If you love drag dragons, Civil War diary entries, and marriage proposals that would make ICE furious, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: D.E.B.S. (2004)

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“He’s on a 1% Rumspringa.”

This week’s hottest movie is... My Own Private Idaho. This film has everything: Narcoleptic street naps. A Shakespearean crime daddy and his Red Hot Chili hype goblin. And the most emotionally devastating campfire scene since The Parent Trap. If you love cult leader Paige, Dutch Boy roleplay, and bisexual tragedy on a wheatfield highway, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: The Wedding Reception (2025)

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“Jennifer Tilly is playing F Chess.”

This week’s slickest lesbian noir is... Bound. This film has everything: a mob nepo baby who looks like he got kicked out of Boyz II Men, a literal money-laundering montage complete with ironing, and a full-on power move where Gina Gershon goes knuckles deep... then shakes the husband’s hand. If you love vibey noir lighting, criminal scissoring, and domination so subtle it gets hand-delivered through a handshake, this episode’s for you.

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Up Next: My Own Private Idaho (1991)

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