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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

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TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can. Join Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh as they cover the most important topics of the day, from 25 year-old film reviews to whether or not Andrew's neighbors are secretly using his garbage bins.

Episodes

Page 22 · 50 per page
Published 2022-09-21

#3776 Elevator Man

86 min
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Andrew joins the show from Bend, Oregon, where he found something very special on the sidewalk this morning. Meanwhile, Luke had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day yesterday, but Andrew's ready to turn it into a film script.

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Published 2022-09-19

#3774 The Brick Of Ludwig

77 min
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Andrew finds himself on an email list that he's not supposed to be a part of and is fascinated by the content. Meanwhile, Luke is more interested in TBTL newsletter content than the neverending coverage of the Queen's funeral. And a listener calls in with her fascinating story of finding a bag of money.

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Published 2022-09-16

#3773 Y'All Of The Wild

77 min
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Luke continues to embed himself into the Tennessee culture, for better and for worse. Plus, apparently a lot of people got "heightening" surgery during the pandemic and never told anyone?

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Published 2022-09-15

#3772 The Fax Of Life

72 min
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Luke's making friends with some donkeys in Tennessee, but he's got an (unrelated) ethical dilemma involving an expensive shirt. He and Andrew also discuss the Patagonia family giving away their entire company for the good of the planet.

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Published 2022-09-13

#3770 I Like Bike

83 min
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Andrew discovered something yesterday that some folks might already know about: Bicycles. Plus, a grocery store has decided to retire its "scan and go" concept because customers were "going" without "scanning."

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Published 2022-09-08

#3767 My Tea Is In The Basement

83 min
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Luke and Andrew discuss Jerry Seinfeld's fashion shoot, the "Nirvana Baby's" lawsuit, and their ongoing attempts to avoid crying in public places. Plus, Andrew finally speaks out on a viral video that everyone sent him last week.

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Published 2022-09-07

#3766 Shootin' Crete!

66 min
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Luke has an entire work crew at his house today, pouring a new concrete floor, and he's trying to dress the part. He and Andrew also bracing themselves for the new football season that begins this week. Oh, and Luke has some questions about the huge bug bite rash on his leg, and Dr. Andrew has some answers.

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Published 2022-09-01

#3762 A Casual Death Grip

79 min
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Luke thinks it's odd that so many people are celebrating the end of Leonardo DiCaprio's relationship. Meanwhile, Andrew still can't tell the difference between Leo and Matt Damon for some reason? Plus, France is using robots to nab people with off-the-books pools in their backyards.

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Published 2022-08-31

#3761 Ethy Come, Ethy Go

99 min
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Luke is ready to make some real changes in his life, and Andrew thinks he should start with a Battery Daddy. Plus, a crypto company accidentally sent a woman a million bucks, and now they want it back.

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Published 2022-08-30

#3760 The Tolerable Twos

87 min
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There's a lot of news coming out of Detroit these days, including the re-opening of a slide that is bruising the heck out of people. HBO's Hard Knocks is documenting the Detroit Lions' preseason, leaving Luke and Andrew to try to figure out what the heck their coach is trying to say as he pumps-up his team.

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Published 2022-08-29

#3759 Conceited Caveats

123 min
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Luke spent the past two weeks building scissor trusses, digging concrete trenches and inventing something he's calling "Cat Camping." Meanwhile, Andrew has a visitor staying with him for a couple of weeks, and that visitor keeps crawling up his legs while he tries to record TBTL.

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Published 2022-08-26

#3758 Paul Malls

58 min
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Luke and Andrew reminisce over their experiences with murder mystery parties, escape rooms, and the game of Clue. Plus, listener Susan tests Andrew's knowledge of St. Paul, MN, as the 2022 TBTL Summer Games come to a close.

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Published 2022-08-24

#3756 A Low Tolerance For Horseplay

46 min
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Andrew found a bunch of old Mariners baseball cards from the early '90s at a garage sale, and he asks Luke to give him the backstory on some of the players. Plus TBTL's "Perfect Daddy" has a quiz for Luke to see how well he remembers former TBTL guests.

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Published 2022-08-23

#3755 Menu? I Hardly Chew You!

45 min
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Andrew accidentally orders a pizza from a very unusual source, and now that he knows where it came from, he might be a changed man. He and Luke also test their knowledge of fast food menu items with a flavor-blasted quiz from listener Mike!

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Published 2022-08-22

#3754 Et Tu, Dummy?

32 min
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Luke is wielding a concrete saw this week, so look out! Plus, his garage renovation project leads Andrew to realize he has some structural issues of his own. And the TBTL Summer Games continue with a quiz that seriously challenges Andrew's knowledge of Latin phrases.

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Published 2022-08-19

#3753 A Come-to-Desus Moment

42 min
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Luke and Andrew consider their own future now that podcasting's *other* famous duo has broken up. They also find out how much Luke knows about America's ballparks as the TBTL Summer Games continue!

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Published 2022-08-18

#3752 Sliding Into Your DSMs

43 min
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Therapist and TBTL Friendo Kirk Honda returns to the show for Day 4 of the TBTL Summer Games, in which we finally find out if Luke is ready to "open the doors of perception and get his Lizard King on."

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Published 2022-08-17

#3751 All Kirk And No Play

40 min
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Family therapist and TBTL Ten Dr. Kirk Honda joins the show to quiz Luke and Andrew and get a sense of their mental health. And Luke reminisces about the time he stormed out of couples therapy to prove a point. (Unfortunately, it was the wrong point.)

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Published 2022-08-16

#3750 Raising Its Dougly Head

45 min
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Andrew stumbles on a historic artifact that finally answers the question, "Do computers like gum?" Meanwhile, Luke has "a lot to say about Barry Corbin." Then the 2022 TBTL Summer Games continue with a handcrafted quiz challenging Luke and Andrew's spelling skills.

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Published 2022-08-15

#3749 Never Settle For Catan

38 min
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The TBTL Summer Games begin with a Summer Sound Quiz from Reverend Chris! Can Luke and Andrew identify a popular, trademarked brand using only their ears? There's only one way to find out! (It's by listening to this episode. That's the only way.)

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Published 2022-08-12

#3748 Cigarette Aficionado

98 min
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Luke drops by the studios of Walsh, Walsh, and Doormat for a rare in-person installment of What's In The Box, where he and Andrew open letters and packages sent to the TBTL PO Box.

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Published 2022-08-10

#3746 Exactly One Hour(ish)

79 min
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Luke and Andrew debate the advantages and disadvantages of duvets versus bedspreads, then they move on to discuss yesterday's historic Mariner's game. Plus, a listener's adventures at Lowe's teaches us all a valuable lesson. It's just unclear what that lesson is.

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Published 2022-08-09

#3745 The *Idea* Of A Toilet

78 min
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Luke goes full Rear Window as he watches dog poop drama unfold in the neighborhood outside his window. Plus, a cringy TikTok video/SNL audition tape draws the ire of the internet, which confuses Andrew, since everything is cringy to him.

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Published 2022-08-08

#3744 Manic Pixie Dream Zombie

81 min
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Tens of Listeners step-up to help Luke and Andrew remember some details of TBTL's past. Plus, a French scientist sent out a funny tweet and now he's forced to pretend he did it for some educational purpose.

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Published 2022-08-05

#3743 TBTL Unexplained

72 min
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You've got questions, we have…answers? Sort of? Luke and Andrew go through letters from listeners who want to know the origins of jokes, audio drops, and other references regularly heard on TBTL

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Published 2022-08-04

#3742 God Don't Make No Junk Bonds

67 min
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Andrew has been eating a lot of bologna lately, and no matter how hard he tries to avoid the topic, Luke insists on hearing the details. Luke also recalls the day he broke out of his own bedroom and got his socks all wet.

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Published 2022-08-03

#3741 Macho Macho Dad

61 min
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Luke reveals more details about his childhood dresser, which contained illicit football stickers and the rough-hewn lyrics of an '80's banger. He and Andrew also pay respects to Vin Scully and revel in the latest word salad from the Detroit Lions' head coach.

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Published 2022-08-02

#3740 Dill With It

66 min
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Pickle flavoring is really having a moment, but pickle-loving Luke isn't into it. He and Andrew also discuss the best and worst tools on a Swiss Army Knife.

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Published 2022-08-01

#3739 Shut The #%&! Up Elmo

76 min
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TBTL Friendo and Fancy Hollywood Director Cat Solen hops on the show to explain why Muppets and puppets never break character on set. Plus, a big weekend project leaves Andrew more dim-witted than usual on a Monday. And Luke tries to figure out the difference between wingdings and webdings.

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Published 2022-07-29

#3738 I Approve This Massage

78 min
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Luke immediately regrets his decision to sit in a massage chair in the middle of the Bismarck airport, although he did make a new friend while being publicly gyrated. Plus, a chain of chicken restaurants bought $100,000 worth of Mega Millions lottery tickets and intends to share the potential winnings with its employees.

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Published 2022-07-28

#3737 And You Don't Believe In A Mark?

63 min
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Luke has a moral conundrum regarding his rental car in Bismarck, ND, and he reluctantly asks Andrew for advice. Plus, people in France are freaking out over a mustard shortage. And something peculiar has caught Luke's eye in a video of Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the set of Sesame Street.

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Published 2022-07-27

#3736 Will It Dunc?

77 min
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Luke joins the show from the Olive Garden District of Bismarck, ND, where he's been unironically enjoying the bottomless breadsticks and salad. Plus, Andrew has a few things he needs to clear up about yesterday's "What's In The Box" segment. Meanwhile, the nation is in mourning over the death of the Choco Taco.

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Published 2022-07-26

#3735 Big Beautiful Books

77 min
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Luke joins the show from Bismarck, ND, where he's learning the lay of the land. Meanwhile, Andrew made his first trip to the new TBTL PO Box and found it overflowing with correspondence from Tens of Listeners.

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Published 2022-07-25

#3734 TBTL: Back In Caption

72 min
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Andrew is upset that his submission to the New Yorker cartoon caption contest didn't win after seeing the finalists. Speaking of the New Yorker, Luke is fascinated by a piece about the VW minibus, which was apparently somewhat inspired by something called "The Chicken Wars."

Photo of VW minibus by OrangeChallenger, licensed under Creative Commons.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2022-07-22

#3733 Tom's Of Mayonnaise

79 min
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Luke does something really, really terrible during the show involving [trigger warning] coffee and mayonnaise. Plus, Dr. Oz's social media team continues to get completely roasted by his opponent's campaign. And Andrew tries to tackle the age-old question: What's worse, listening to someone talk about their dreams or listening to someone talk about their fantasy baseball team?

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Published 2022-07-21

#3732 Rex In Effect

73 min
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Luke has introduced spray bottles into his relationship with his cat, and it's changed everything. Plus, a woman earned a job interview after responding to a rejection letter with a goofy meme.

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Andrew is working to change the way he talks to his cat -- and all pets in general. Plus, a minor league baseball GM gets a prostate exam while singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame", although it's not entirely clear why. And Luke and Andrew try to figure out why they are completely uninterested in the Game of Thrones sequel.

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Published 2022-07-18

#3729 Morgan A Feeling

83 min
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Luke just got back from Austin, where he gathered with friends to pay tribute to the late, great Drew McFrizz. Meanwhile, Andrew was almost denied an opportunity to clean a big mess in peace. Plus, something very interesting happened at an Omaha airport over the weekend.

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Published 2022-07-15

#3728 The Deal Hunter

79 min
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The CEO of Costco has made it clear that the store will NOT be raising prices on its cheap hot dogs, even if it is a money-losing venture. This gives Andrew the opportunity to ask Luke a very important question about the way he consumes soda pop.

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