TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew learn that Volkswagen was, indeed, lying about changing its name, and now they are going back to never believing anything ever again. Also, Luke's trip to the Apple store gave him some real Red Dawn vibes.

Luke and Andrew test out a new recording device that either allows them or forces them to look at each other during the show, depending on whom you ask. Plus, Volkswagen finally admits that Luke was right all along and agrees to change its name to "Voltswagen."

Luke discovers a British betting site where people were wagering on the Suez Canal situation...and a lot of other fascinating stuff. Plus, according to some recent TikToks, Papa John is not doing super great?

Luke spent yesterday in an abandoned mining town and has come back with a bunch of stories that make Andrew have to use the restroom. They also pay tribute to the absolute comic genius of Jessica Walter.

Longtime TBTL Friendo Dan Pashman of The Sporkful swings by to talk about what it's like to invent a brand-new pasta from the ground-up (and to answer the most important question of our time: Is Thousand Island really a condiment?)

Luke and Andrew find out some truly Dazzling Deets about polar bears, penguin pee, and diamonds raining down on Jupiter. Plus, the General Mills PR department could really learn something from the folks over at Post cereals.

Luke wonders if he and Andrew are beginning to spend too much (virtual) time together, and notable not-nice person Bill Shatner tries to buy immortality through an A.I.-type technology.

Luke takes extreme measures to get out of a Coffee Emergency, while Andrew reminisces about the ubiquitous "Free Coffee" of the olden days. Plus, more details emerge about the different versions of Mrs. Doubtfire that exist somewhere.

In the most 2021 news ever, the Fleetwood Mac Longboarding Guy is selling his viral video as an NFT...with some caveats. Plus, Luke explores a rumor that an NC-17 version of Mrs. Doubtfire exists, Sean Hannity vapes on air, and cattle rustling is, apparently, still a thing.

A listener sets Luke straight on the topic of "gabagool", which somehow makes Andrew very, very hungry for goulash? Anyway, they also talk about a new docu-series which literally has Luke acting like a 15-year-old again. And Andrew ruins the Blursdays.

It's St. Patrick's day, which marks the anniversary of the day Andrew tried to fight a Minneapolis Uber driver and Luke almost lost his cool at a beloved Polish bar. They also commemorate the 1-year-and-1-day anniversary of the Family Ties movie. And Joe Biden "slaps back" at those criticizing his dog, who nipped a White House employee.

Luke got cyberbullied over a sandwich last night, and a chef in Miami is selling gold-encrusted steaks that his customers do not want.

Luke's Lyft driver taught him some pretty interesting things about Henry Kissinger's role in a global plot to reduce the earth's population. Plus, Yo-Yo Ma gave an impromptu performance at his vaccination clinic, and it turns out Subway is the food of choice on Korean TV.

Journalist and TBTL Friendo Andrea Seabrook joins the show after she got cyberbullied by William Shatner yesterday. Also, Luke explains why several large police officers dragged him out of a Flaming Lips rehearsal last night.

Luke and Andrew remember the day, exactly one year ago, when they finally realized that the world had really changed (and that their burps would never be as fun.) Plus, Captain Kirk just picked a very strange fight with Luke's friend at NPR.

Luke is excited to meet his musical hero, Wayne Coyne, this afternoon...especially after Andrew tells him a spicy detail about the Flaming Lips frontman. Plus, the return of This Day In TBTL History takes us back 5 years and puts Luke and Andrew on some shaky ground.

Luke and Andrew find out who they REALLY are with the help of an enneagram test and their friend Lauren Masterson. Plus, Luke talks about his beautiful feet a lot and it's very upsetting.

Luke has a big DISHWASHER UPDATE. He and Andrew are also ready to talk WandaVision, Mandelorian, and last night's Meghan Markle interview with Oprah.

Luke brings the HEAT today with a Friday Motivation via the fine Clump Dogs at Defector. Plus, what do you get when you combine music and crypto-currency? A lot of money and a very confused Andrew.

Luke has either discovered something special in the Willamette River, or he's going off the deep end. Your call. Plus, Dan Harmon introduces a compelling new system for the Zodiac calendar. And Andrew's getting very nervous about fantasy baseball.

Luke and Andrew finally get their big break in sports media, and Luke discovers something mind blowing about the cinnamon toast he ate as a kid. Plus, a company is animating old photos of departed loved ones, and it turns out there's a reason why ketchup is sometimes called "fancy".

Luke and Andrew celebrate a very special TBTL-a-versary, even though someone forgot. Plus, listeners chime in with their stories of butter love.

Luke and Andrew finally address the imaginary scandal surrounding their imaginary tanning salon in Portland. Plus, last night's Golden Globes broadcast was pretty cool until it wasn't, and a surgeon goes to traffic court while surgeoning.

TBTL Friendo Davy Rothbart jumps on the show to talk about his amazing new documentary, 17 Blocks. Plus, Andrew's acting career takes another step forward with the role he's been waiting for his entire life.

Luke and Andrew watch a bunch of Amy Grant videos and fall in love all over again. Plus, one of Andrew's favorite electronic stores is closing and taking its spaceships with it.

Luke introduces Andrew to one the hottest viral songs banging around the internet, and it is delightful. Plus, a young man fakes his own kidnapping to get out of work for a day.

A story about scary robot dogs leads Andrew to admit to one of his weirder internet proclivities. He and Luke also discuss Jim Nabors at great length for some reason.

Luke finally gets a breakthrough on his appliance-repair conundrum, but the news comes with more than a bit of irony. Plus, Daft Punk says goodbye in a very Daft Punky way, an old joke from The Simpsons comes back to haunt Ted Cruz, and the results of the Great Condiment Debate are in!

Luke and Andrew find themselves on opposite sides of a debate over Thousand Island dressing and how it should be categorized. Plus, the internet delights in catching Ted Cruz doing very Ted Cruzy things, and a heroic mattress salesman in Texas throws his doors open to those who need shelter.

Andrew's failed attempts to buy a pack of baseball cards may have just changed his life forever, or so he says. Plus, a couple of employees hit the wrong button and accidentally wire $900 million dollars and can't get it back. How's your day going?

Luke and Andrew welcome a new, possibly non-existent group of listeners into the TBTL family. They also learn that blowing on Nintendo cartridges never really worked, and that Luke's favorite emoji is branding him as an Old.

Luke discovers a new global radio project and it's blowing his dang mind. Plus, a new film documents the last days of a dying shopping mall, and it's brilliant.

Andrew does something very surprising on a snowy Monday in Seattle (hint: it's garbage day) and Luke is full of Fun Presidential Facts™️, including which President was criticized for not drinking enough booze.

Luke convinces Andrew to join him in a new venture, despite Andrew's misgivings. Plus, the snow is falling in Portland, so Luke provides the traffic and weather reports that you need to go about your day.

Andrew realizes that he's too old for modern light bulbs, and Luke has a new hero: A 90-year old man who took out a newspaper ad complaining about his internet service.

Luke and Andrew share the internet's glee when a lawyer has to explain to a judge that he is not, indeed, a cat. Plus, Andrew uncovers a disturbing photo from his youth, and Alex Trebek's family is putting his wardrobe to good use.

Luke is in a one-sided relationship with a fancy store, and the Canadian government angered China with a Wu-Tang t-shirt. What a world.

Luke watched all of the Super Bowl commercials and he has some opinions! (But please nobody tell Genevieve.)

This week's installment of Friday Inspiration! leads Luke and Andrew to their new favorite Australian Death Metal Band. Plus, Amazon's new CEO loves him some hot wings. What's so wrong with that?

Luke hears back from his building managers after sending his Strongly Worded Email. Plus, an exploration of Lil Uzi Vert's new forehead diamond, which is very big and a little off-center

Luke sent a Strongly Worded Email to his building's management company and is starting to regret it. Meanwhile, Andrew is floundering around trying to remember a very specific Robert's Rule Of Order.

Luke and Andrew call-up their Fact Checkin' Cuz in Minnesota to find out what's going on with another mysterious monolith that just popped-up there. Plus, listener Chris witnessed something that nobody should ever have to witnes

Luke's family is getting into some pretty exciting emoji action on their text chain. Speaking of phones, Luke is playing a very dangerous game with his this week.

Luke is mortified by something he just learned about his new apartment, but -- thanks to some motivational advice from an unlikely source -- he is pushing through. Plus, a listener shares his own experience with GameStop stock.

Luke and Andrew discuss what they would do if they were approached by a stranger offering them a free COVID vaccination while stuck in traffic. Because that happened in Oregon recently. Plus, Luke's nieces write-in with some pretty solid knock-knock jokes.

Yesterday's GameStop Wall Street story has blown-up, and now it also involves AMC Theaters and Bed Bath & Beyond. Luke and Andrew credit their early reporting on the matter. Plus, science has an evolutionary answer to why we always feel like we're in a hurry.

Luke and Andrew delve into the fascinating (and somewhat confusing) story of how a bunch of Redditors are trying to protect the video game store GameStop from greedy investors. Plus, you ever wonder how that old Nintendo Duck Hunt gun worked?

Luke and Andrew say goodbye to Larry King, who's provided TBTL with so much content over the years. They also dig deep into Pacific Northwest Taco Chain Culture.

Andrew's quixotic quest to find his favorite Dick Clark radio show takes him on an audio adventure while Luke discovers his new favorite public radio show of all time. Plus, Dakota Johnson was just kidding when she said she loves limes. But shouldn't we already have known that?

Luke and Andrew stumble on an honest-to-gosh TBTL Mystery involving a Donor of the Day. Plus, Luke is embarrassed about something he said on yesterday's show, and a Weird Al Yankovich song from 1983 teaches him something about the world of music.