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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

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TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can. Join Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh as they cover the most important topics of the day, from 25 year-old film reviews to whether or not Andrew's neighbors are secretly using his garbage bins.

Episodes

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Andrew and Phyllis take over the show today to talk about proper employee management techniques and the difference between a muumuu and a housecoat. Plus, TBTL breaks its silence on the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling and why a seemingly unpopular album is topping the charts.

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Published 2015-06-26

Episode #1891: Bros Before HR

60 min
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MSNBC's Chris Hayes joins the show to receive the prestigious "TBTL Profiles In Going For It Award." Plus, he and Luke face off against Quizmaster Andrew in a battle over obscure flag knowledge. And Luke's mom Susie explains how she plans to crash a Christian gathering on the high seas.

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Published 2015-06-25

Episode #1890: Just the FAQs

73 min
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Luke and Andrew explain a new TBTL experiment they're about to undertake. Plus, one of the world's most famous pop-artists is wanted in Detroit, and Ben Affleck's racist ancestor is causing problems for public broadcasting.

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Published 2015-06-24

Episode #1889: Doctors Without Boundaries

89 min
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Luke and Andrew talk about a real news story so creepy, it's guaranteed to give you goosebumps (or your money back.)* Plus, doctors are caught saying some pretty cruel things to a patient they are operating on. And Andrew is clearly on the wireless spectrum.

*DISCLAIMER: Goosebump guarantee not valid in Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, or Wyoming.

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Published 2015-06-19

Episode #1886: A Cockatiel Named Kangaroo

69 min
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Luke and Andrew wake up bright and early to bring you another Morning Zoo edition of TBTL. Today they tackle the important issues of emotional-support-kangaroos, Brian Williams' apology, and why you should never throw away underwear in a hotel room.

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Published 2015-06-18

Episode #1885: Jukebox Judas

81 min
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Andrew make a big mistake in one of Hollywood's most revered watering holes. Luke considers joining the Chicago Blackhawks for an evening. Plus, in depth analysis on Kim Kardashian, Brian Williams, and how to be just-lonely-enough in a hotel room by yourself.

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Published 2015-06-17

Episode #1884: Dog-o-logical Clock

81 min
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Luke and Andrew address the "skip-gate" scandal that has been rocking the TBTL community. Plus, Luke wants to Rachel-Dolezal himself into Steph Curry's family. And we learn that Andrew's dog-o-logical clock is ticking loudly and proudly.

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Published 2015-06-16

Episode #1883: The Wig Party

107 min
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Two of the whitest podcasters around weigh-in on race identity vis-à-vis Rachel Dolezal. Plus, a man whom shall not be named has thrown his toupee into the presidential ring. And Luke and Andrew recap the Game of Thrones finale with the latest installment of A Song of Ice and Spoilers.

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Published 2015-06-12

Episode #1881: Blues Hound Benefactor

72 min
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Luke has a very strange encounter at a remote gas station. He and Andrew discuss that and the story of an NAACP chapter president who's apparently been lying about her race. And we say goodbye to one of Luke's favorite wrestlers.

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Published 2015-06-11

Episode #1880: Boom Shakalaka

88 min
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Luke finds himself near the Canadian Border, while Andrew finds himself near the Elation Border over his jigsaw puzzle progress. Plus, Nobel Laureates Say The Darndest Things and the listeners weigh on Luke's Marco Rubio comments, and mis-use of "schvartz".

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Published 2015-06-10

Episode #1879: Complicated Meat Systems

79 min
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Some of the latest details about the New York prison break are downright bonkers. Luke and Andrew discuss that, and they debate whether or not the New York Times is being unfair to one of the GOP presidential candidates. And listeners weigh-in on yesterday's pork talk.

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A news story about pigs has Luke questioning his pork consumption, and Andrew thinks he wants to go to Disneyland for some reason. Plus, Jerry Seinfeld says colleges aren't comedian-friendly, and a Khaleesi named Daenerys goes on a dragon ride. (One of those topics is related to Game of Thrones, btw.)

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Published 2015-06-05

Episode #1876: Flapping Our Yaps

61 min
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Luke, Andrew and Phyllis flap their yaps about a new invention that helps you drink water, canned crowd noise at graduation ceremonies, and what Flavor Flav's Linked-In profile might look like.

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Angry customers are suing a restaurant and its waiter for spitting in their drink. Luke and Andrew discuss that. Plus, Luke takes his tape recorder out to the launch of the Race to Alaska competition in Port Townsend. And our friend, comedian Andy Haynes, drops by with some dating advice.

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Published 2015-06-03

Episode #1874: Improvement Opportunities

72 min
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Andrew and the Stu-Bot take over TBTL today to discuss one of the most spectacular displays of anger on a baseball diamond that we've seen in a long time. Plus, Tom Petty rejoins his old, old band from the 1970s. And Stu-Bot will answers all of your ridiculous questions about his personal life and fighting ability.

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Published 2015-06-02

Episode #1873: Tango and Resentment

103 min
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Luke and Andrew discuss a high school student who decided to ask a girl to prom in the best or worst way possible. They also agree that Nora Dunn is real and that Andy Richter should follow Luke on Twitter. Plus, an epic installment of our Game of Thrones segment, "A Song of Ice and Spoilers."

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Published 2015-06-01

Episode #1872: Do You Even Cab, Bro?

81 min
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Luke surprises Andrew with a story about potential fisticuffs over Andrew's honor. Then they discuss exploding buildings, an ill-fated romantic comedy, Brian Williams' future, and a very confused FIFA official.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-29

Episode #1871: Peripathetic

65 min
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Luke, Andrew and Phyllis meet up at a Seattle cafe to recap last night's big TBTL Mariner's event. They also discuss gritty tourist destinations, Luke's online behavior, and questionable piercing decisions. We also learn that Phyllis is "half tattoo on her mom's side."

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-28

Episode #1870: Unaccompanied Major

68 min
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Luke and Andrew drive around Seattle before tonight's big Mariner's game. Luke takes us to the location of the now-infamous "crying tree" that he planted years ago. And he explains why he should never, ever, ever be allowed to babysit or own a scooter.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-25

Episode #1867: T-Shirt Insecurities

47 min
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Luke and Andrew discuss tonight pants, tonight shirts, and proper attire for greeting your significant other at the end of the day. Plus, Luke travels to L.A. to interview the owner of his favorite bar.

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Published 2015-05-22

Episode #1866: Nightmare of Funmare?

90 min
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Luke, Andrew and Carey take the Myers-Briggs test to learn more about their personalities. Phyllis calls-in to back-up Andrew on a very contentious issue. Also discussed: new drivers ed rules, overpriced hot dogs, and bad customer service.

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Luke asks Andrew to fill him in on what he's been missing since Luke shut-down his Facebook account. This leads to a discussion of birthdays, trigger warnings, and Luke's ongoing beef with Peter Sagal. Plus, a new Boy Scouts policy has Luke perturbed. And we wrap up with a graphic edition of A Song of Ice and Spoilers.

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Published 2015-05-15

Episode #1861: Never Pause for Laughter

52 min
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If Luke were born today, his name would be Javier. If Andrew were born today, his name would be Luke. But one thing is for sure: Luke rejects the nickname "Bathroom Burbank." He and Andrew wrap up the TBTL-a-Thon with a conversation about that, aging rock bands, and True Detective Season 2.

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Published 2015-05-14

Episode #1860: From a Bathroom on a Hill

87 min
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It's day 4 of the TBTL-a-Thon! Luke joins the show from Chicago, where he set up a temporary podcasting studio in a hotel bathroom. He and Andrew discuss big news regarding The Simpsons and the fate of Johnny Depp's dogs. And we finally hear the voice of Infinite Guest blogger, Stu-Bot.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-13

Episode #1859: Fireball and The Burbs

61 min
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Luke and Andrew break out their slide whistles, air horns and 5:20 Funnies for a special morning Zoo Crew edition of TBTL. Plus, Adam Sandler says goodbye to David Letterman, and scientists may have found a new way to kill earworms. Also, our boss stops by with an update on the TBTL-a-Thon and the future of our employment.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-11

Episode #1857: Public Radio Hype Man

86 min
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It's day one of the TBTL-a-Thon! In an attempt to encourage you to support the show, Luke and Andrew deliver stories of airline chicanery, a Columbo-esque murder plot, and Alec Baldwin's pronunciation of "quinoa." Plus, the best public radio fund raiser in all the land calls-in to offer us some advice.

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Published 2015-05-08

Episode #1856: Carvey McBadparent

83 min
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Luke and Andrew discuss one family's dubious method of tooth extraction and compare it to their own. Plus, we solve a listener's dilemma over her newly-infamous neighbor. And Luke spends his special day in birthday anonymity then drinks dirty water through a high-tech straw.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-06

Episode #1854: Twitter Twouble

63 min
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Andrew is learning how to tie his shoes while Luke also patiently teaches him how to talk gooder. Plus, the boys deal with a sudden onslaught of fake Twitter followers, and the World's Best Bartender reaches out to the show.

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Luke is back from Vegas, where he found himself involved in two different auto accidents (Don't worry! He's fine!) Plus, he and Andrew debunk a disgusting "news" story about beards. And they delve into this week's episode of Game of Thrones in a segment we call, "A Game of Ice and Spoilers."

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-04

Episode #1852: Slam Book

109 min
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Andrew and guest-host Phyllis Fletcher talk about this weekend's big fight in Vegas. Plus, we revisit the epic schoolyard fist fights of our childhood and Phyllis explains to Andrew what a slam book is.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-05-01

Episode #1851: The Road to Senility

60 min
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According to a new website, Luke and Andrew are aging much quicker than they thought...which also may affect their relationship with music, according to new research. Plus, Luke gears up for what may be the most crazy Vegas weekend in the history of Vegas weekends.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-04-30

Episode #1850: Ain't No Follow Back Girl

81 min
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Luke has a new hero. His name is Carl, and he punched a bear. And if you don't believe Carl, you can ask his friend, John. ALSO! Luke and Andrew help solve a listener's personal problem, and a teenage witch enters Andrew's life.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-04-29

Episode #1849: Ring of Fireball

65 min
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Andrew tells Luke about Mr. Worldwide's unlikely newest fan. We listen to the quietest game in Major League Baseball history, as the Orioles and the White Sox play in a completely empty stadium. A Bud Light ad campaign is accused of contributing to rape culture. And Luke says goodbye to Facebook forever.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-04-28

Episode #1848: Hunting for Humblebrags

103 min
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Luke calls his wife, Carey, and asks her if he's too fat. She is taken aback. Plus, Luke and Andrew discuss the flip flop controversy they ignited on yesterday's show, and they dissect this week's Game of Thrones episode in their regular Tuesday segment, A Song of Ice and Spoilers.

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Today we learn: 1) That Luke and Andrew are bad at asking questions, 2) How to be a jukebox hero, and 3) You never, under any circumstances, want to see Andrew's feet. Luke and Andrew also discuss Bruce Jenner's ABC interview and Brad Pitt's unfortunate accident over the weekend.

Extract Knowledge
Published 2015-04-24

Episode #1846: Fights Are Like Lullabies

97 min
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Luke spends a lot of time yelling at clouds today. He and Andrew talk about why modern teen idols aren't doing it right. Plus, they dip into a raging debate over how and whether people should clean their ears. And Phyllis stops by to share some morning zoo memories.

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Published 2015-04-21

Episode #1843: Andrew's Morning Zoo

95 min
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Andrew finally gets his record player in the mail, which means he can subject all the listeners to his favorite 30 year-old Cleveland Morning Radio Bits. Plus, TBTL debuts its new Tuesday Game of Thrones recap: "A Song of Ice and Spoilers".

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