TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke gives a crack dealer a ride @ 3am (and lives to tell about it), plus the hilarity of comedian Andy Haynes.

Luke's tries to tie a bow tie live on air with embarrassing consequences, Moon Water!, and JD and Thunder know the 'Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend', it's called Gymkata.

Awesome job alert! (if your idea of awesome is managing a McDonald's at Guantanamo), Jen finds an unexplained $7,500 in her checking account and tries to figure out what to do with it, a luxury SUV-maker has an idea... Whale Penis Leather Seats (seriously).

Luke uses the internet to set up a disturbing church-music wake up call, listener Dave (a veteran) wants to know how to respond to well wishers without being a doucher, and call makers! Wherein Dr. Jim talks about shushing his nurses during surgery so he can listen to TBTL.

Luke and Vanessa learn a hard/ humiliating lesson from the other members of their bowling team, Sean opens a mystery package on the air, and fans stampede the exits @ a Tracy Morgan comedy show, has he lost what tiny bit of his mind he had left?

The amazing story of how the band Scorpions freed Anne Frank from the Nazis (or something like that according to 13 year-old Luke), Shut It Down America! on debating muslims in the military, and Dr. Steve Brule with some questionable advice about eating horse meat.

Live from LA! Luke is forced to admit that Vanessa's shady travel websites might actually be awesome, and the debut of a new friday segment 'What's The Worst Movie You Can Rent This Weekend?'

Luke travels to LA but leaves a little present behind (of the White Elephant variety) at archival tape of the first hour EVER of TBTL. Tune in to hear Luke nearly pass out from nervousness (and whiskey).

The funky stuff that might be in your ground beef, Luke gets a visit from The Magical Leaf Fairy, and Vanessa and Ben try to convince Luke that The Pixies are truly one of the best bands of all time (and blatantly make a hot date right in front of him).

Jen has a run-in with a wheelchair-bound lady at the RV camp shower, Luke's hair loss has him obsessed with reports of Andre Agassi's rocker toupe, and was Robert Pattinson: too fugly to star in the Twilight movies?

John Hodgman talks about fist fighting Jason Schwartzman, Jen suspects a meth epidemic in her trailer park and Luke's Chicago trip is marred by a run-in with a very annoying Forrest Gump impersonator.

We've got all kinds of scariness in store for

you... Dave Boze (our REAL ACTUAL friend and co-worker) tells the story

of the time a super-scary, super-fast demon-lady ran him down in the

street, plus Luke's one and only time trick or treating, and Chicken

Heart! The scariest radio thingy from 1937 you will ever hear.

Filthy drinking water! accidental pornos! greyhound bus pooping! These and many other tales of Cringe on today's show, the first ever Listener-Generated episode of TBTL.

After more violence breaks out, Luke hatches a master plan to make Chucky Cheese safe (spoiler alert, it involves the movie Road House) Jen is STOKED about the return of Lilith Fair, and the reviews are in for the new MJ Movie.. and they're, surprisingly good?

Jen reports in from a divey trailer park near Yosemite, Luke has a new favorite crazy person to follow on twitter, plus! Sage advice on not being a sweaty pig (from Luke, who's often called 'a sweaty pig' by other people).

HUNGRY FOR THE CHICKEN!! KFC's free grilled chicken promo reminds Vanessa of the worst date Luke ever took her on, someone's poisoning the coffee at Harvard (that's why you went to community college thank you very much) and Luke's had enough of the ironic embrace of zombie culture.

Luke's newspaper dilemma comes to a surprising end, Tracy Morgan get serious on it, like REALLY serious, and Mike Birbiglia on the funniest tumor ever.

Luke's world is rocked when a fellow Naked Coffee-Maker is charged with indecent exposure, Pagota the cat shows herself to be a major Attention Ho as she interrupts the show multiple times, and audio tape of a CNN anchor committing the most racist-seeming gaff ever during an interview w/ Jesse Jackson.

Vanessa barely survives her run in with a (probably) Mass Murderer Raccoon @ Burbank Studios, Maddy Brand of NPR fame sits in on Awesome/ Not/Awesome and the secret sadness of being Kenny Rogers.

Things get off to a rough start when Luke's iTunes craps the bed, but as if by some miracle, Jen shows up unannounced, then Rachel Flotard breezes in and hilarity ensues.

Fine! We'll talk about frickin' balloon boy kid. Jen finds out her big literary crush is not, in fact, allthat unique, and is the Large Hadron Collider being sabotaged by....... the future?

Listener Ben checks in live from Afghanistan, Luke tells two stories of man's inhumanity to man from last night and Your Voicemails! Very Drunk Voicemails!

Jen's back! (kinda) Tina Fey tells Letterman about losing the Big V, and a lady get jailed for stalking after she facebook pokes some chick.

Luke bounces back from his breakdown, Jonathan Goldstein on drinking and memories and why Eddie Murphy sucks at comedy, plus call makers!

Technical issues and the delay of an interview send Luke's insecurities bubbling to the surface. Meanwhile, Sean tries to use

the power of Hip Hop to convince Luke of Steely Dan's awesomeness.

Luke debuts a new audio disclaimer for when things get racy, Vanessa subsequently gets racy with a story about her youth and a creepo in a Datsun, plus Ben Hoffman, Pro Triathlete talks about The Iron Man World Championship, which he just finished.

Now In High Fidelity! Jen discusses the dream vacation she's about to take, Obama get the Nobel Prize, and Luke finally has enough money for shoes. Clearly it's really working out for everybody.

WTF's Marc Maron on why trying to get hired at E! felt like the bowels of hell. Plus, the story of his big TV commercial break (which ended in a small child from Texas weeping uncontrollably).

Tracy Morgan, please start tweeting (maybe), sure-fire hangover cure from a listener, and Michael W. Smith!

David Letterman exposed as a robot? Law & Order takes on the 'hipster grifter? Hot dogs down hallways? All will be revealed on today's TBTL.

Anthony Bourdain talks about his crack smoking days and why everyone in the city Baltimore hates him, Luke apologizes for his Friday Night Antics @ the listener party, and Josh Sacco, the cutest little Kurt Russell-impersonator ever.

David Michael Letterman! Step into my office. Plus! Behind the scenes of the new movie Whip It. And! Music For Your Weekend.

Gay Talese on Sinatra, Journalism and how the NYT used to be staffed by total drunks, Vanessa abandons Luke at when he gets into it with a neighbor, and Randy Quaid's wife takes the express train to crazytown.

Luke doesn't care about your imaginary facebook mafia war or petting zoo, Vanessa thinks Luke is a bad person for not eating fruit.

Survivor's Jeff Probst on Trump's hair, being pals with Ryan Seacrest, and what he doesn't love about Survivor. Also, Marina Zenovich talks about Roman Polanski and her film 'Roman Polanski, Wanted and Desired'. Plus! A small child plays Johnny Cash and hearts melt.

Michael Ian Black breaks his silence on his wife's Lobster Hands, a TBTL PSA on what not to tell Oprah about the time you and your dad had sex, and did Jenny Slate have the worst SNL debut ever?

Pomplamoose! In (maybe) some kind of World Exclusive Thingy! Chatting and playing a tune for us live from their studio in Northern Cal via Skype Video. Plus, we debut a new segment ('Drag Me To Freaking Hell'), and Jen learns the hard truth about the mysterious Burt Wurley.

Glenn Beck boils a frog on live TV (and wins our first ever 'Waste of Skin' award), Mike Pesca counsels Luke on how to stop obsessing over TBTL's iTunes ranking, and Eli Sanders from The Stranger tells a story of a murder that didn't have to happen.

The New York Times' Rob Walker talks about making crap into valuable crap by just adding words, Vanessa busts Luke on his deep-seated need for approval, and TBTL Call-Makers: What Up with so many Vampires?

Luke's shameful spandex problem, Hot Greg goes on a mission to seduce the guy from 'Twilight', and Will Ferrell does the unthinkable...

John Hodgman wishes we didn't have his email address, John Edwards' wishes he could have the Dave Matthews Band play at his secret wedding, Luke wishes they'd institute the death penalty for car breaker-inners.

Ira Glass discusses yoga and his man boobs, TBTL officially welcomes refugee Guiding Light viewers, music for your weekend!

The show turns 400, Luke gets a tattoo live on the air, Jen almost vomits. Rawr!

Bat pee! Human Poop! Escaped Cows! Plus, Luke's transformation into a hippie is almost complete.

Luke's health cleanse gets off to a near disastrous start when Vanessa gives him too many laxative pills. Thank god the new studio has a bathroom connected to it. Kanye tearfully apologizes on Leno but Luke is unconvinced. Plus, Shut It Down America! Self-diagnosing based on the TV Show 'House'.

Our first show from Luke's house! Adam Carolla makes an appearance and sends Jen into fits. Plus, Kanye Kanye Kanye Kanye. Seriously dude, not cool.

Final radio show - Hour 2

What can we say? It was our last radio show, which naturally meant drinking, crying, karaoke, and a host in his skivvies on the web cam.

What can we say? It was our last radio show, which naturally meant drinking, crying, karaoke, and a host in his skivvies on the web cam.

TBTL is Call Takers