Blank Check with Griffin & David

Just in time for Halloween, we’re checking into the Overlook Hotel - a haunted place not unlike the Beachwood, Ohio, Homewood Suites that Griffin and guest Timothy Simons stayed in while they were filming DRAFT DAY! Is THE SHINING about Native American genocide, or is it about how Stanley Kubrick thought ghosts were kinda nice? Is Shelley Duvall the MVP of this movie? Would Ben absolutely thrive as the hotel’s caretaker - taking inspiration from the stocked kitchen pantry to whip up some delicious dishes? Why does the spectre of Tim Robinson continue to haunt our Kubrick series?

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NASA-quality lenses, a himbo canon-worthy performance from notoriously “chill and normal guy” Ryan O’Neal, and some flirty ribbon games all combine to make what we consider to be Kubrick’s warmest and most sumptuous film - 1975’s “Barry Lyndon.” Karina Longworth of “You Must Remember This” makes a long-awaited first appearance on the pod to wonder - did Barry actually end up sleeping with his cousin? What are the rules of dueling? Should children be allowed to ride horses? And more!

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Attention all droogs: grab your Nadsat dictionaries and your bowler hats, it’s time to drink some drug-milk! We’ve got our very own Alex - Ross Perry, that is - on the pod to go long on Kubrick’s controversial X-rated dystopian nightmare, 1971’s A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. We’re reminiscing about our rebellious teenage years, which for Alex included a trip to New York to see The Prodigy in concert, and for David included a “Pinter phase.” Did you all know that David grew up in England? Plus - Ben learns that Malcolm McDowell was once married to CLIFFORD’s own Mary Steenburgen, Griffin learns about Kubrick’s preferred brand of storage boxes, and David learns that Alex and Griffin have given him a mysterious new nickname.

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Open the pod cast doors, HAL - it’s time for us to talk about one of the most important movies in cinema history. Jordan Hoffman - the friend of the pod who best represents both the “diamond-hard Sci Fi” and psychedelic head-trip factions of 2001 fandom - returns to Blank Check, and we’re doling out the knowledge *and* the giggles. When is the ideal moment to “partake” in order to get the trippiest experience from 2001? Is Griffin starting to change his mind about Kubrick not being funny? Do Arthur C. Clark and Dr. Evil buy their jackets from the same tailor? Is this movie actually all about dick jokes?

Check out Jordan’s writing on Thrillist

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Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, Sean Fennessey is finally on our podcast! The Big Picture Pod host joins Griffin and David to talk about Kubrick’s razor-sharp satire, the Peter Sellers tour-de-force that is “Dr. Strangelove”. We’re asking all the questions - Could Sellers have played *every* character in this movie? Is the film paradoxically funnier because Kubrick isn’t really a comedy guy? Would George C. Scott hate this podcast? Would you give “Tom Jones” a middling three stars on Letterboxd? And more!

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It certainly feels great to cover a good movie again! Our mini-run of new releases ends with Gina Prince-Bythewood’s crowd-pleaser - the African female warrior epic “The Woman King”. We’ve got David’s exclusive report on the film’s world premiere at TIFF (humblebrag), a deep dive on the career of Viola Davis (did you know her early industry champions were Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney?), and some thoughts on how this film taps into Prince-Bythewood’s ongoing exploration of chosen families and personal identity.

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The King of the Uncanny Valley - our boy Bob Zemeckis - is back with his spin on perhaps the most iconic un-real boy in cinema…it’s Pinocchio, baby! Our friends from Podcast: The Ride - two Disney daddies and one small wooden boy - join us to chat about Disney’s latest live-action remake, and we’re mostly just confused. How many days did Tom Hanks spend on set? Why are so many people in Hollywood eager to make their own Pinocchio adaptations? Did Leslie Zemeckis do mo-cap work for the sexy goldfish? Why does Disney World’s Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster revolve around AEROSMITH of all bands?? We may never know!

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George Miller returns with a sweeping romantic fantasy and if we had a djinn, we’d wish that more people went to see this movie in theaters!  Plus - Ben wishes for infinite sandwiches, and the two friends go long on Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton.

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How did they ever make a podcast of LOLITA? Let’s just say that it wasn’t easy, but thankfully our guest Fran Hoepfner is in her “brave era” and was more than up for the task! If our SPARTACUS episode was full of Tony Curtis impressions, we’re classing up the joint this week with plenty of James Mason bits. In this episode, Ben learns about the Hays Code, Griffin learns how to pronounce “Nabokov,” Fran learns that it is very difficult to eat a giant lollipop, and David learns what everyone thought of his and Forky’s recent wedding.

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I am Spartacus! I am Spartacus! Heck, we’re *all* Spartacus today as we talk about the “sword-and-sandals” epic that solidified Stanley Kubrick’s hit-making potential…and soured him on Hollywood forever. Vanity Fair’s Richard Lawson returns to the pod and we’re covering all the major topics: How did a young Kubrick manage all the different stars on set - many of whom were accomplished directors in their own right? Was Kirk Douglas’ chin cleft real? Did Dalton Trumbo write the script for this in a bathtub? Why does Tony Curtis always sound like he’s ordering something from a deli?

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Perhaps the most humanistic of Kubrick’s films, PATHS OF GLORY is a blistering study of injustice, middle-management, and anti-war sentiment. We’re down in the trenches this week with Sarah Marshall (“You’re Wrong About” and “You Are Good”), and we’re asking the big questions. Like - what crazy scheme did Timothy Carey pull during production that caused him to be fired as soon as all his closeups were filmed? Did Kirk Douglas take his hefty salary (a third of the total budget!) to pay for tennis lessons for son Michael? Why do American schools gloss over World War I? How does Ben weigh his love of ditches against the concept of trench warfare?

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If Stanley Kubrick’s previous two films were exercises in learning on the job, THE KILLING is where we start to see him put that knowledge into action. A thrilling noir, it allowed Kubrick to connect his passion for chess to a story about the best laid plans of a too ambitious crook. We couldn’t be more thrilled to welcome dream guest Patton Oswalt as we swap insane Timothy Carey stories, debate whether or not Rodney Dangerfield appears in the background of a scene, and suggest that Sterling Hayden’s Johnny Clay should have added a “Karen” to his plan to solve his baggage check-in situation at the airport.

Check out Patton in I Love My Dad from Magnolia Pictures

Read his Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film

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He dominated the field in this year’s 20th Century March Madness competition, and now we’re celebrating with a parade and a big brass band…it’s time for our series on the films of Stanley Kubrick - Pods Wide Cast! Join us as we fill in the background strokes of Kubrick’s early career - his childhood in the Bronx, his photography apprenticeship with Look Magazine - and as we discuss his first two features - 1953’s FEAR AND DESIRE and 1955’s KILLER’S KISS. Some burning questions we end up asking: how much of later Kubrick is already present in these pretty amateurish works? How do these rank in the patheon of debut films by great directors? Is there a code of ethics for cab drivers when you jump into the backseat and request that they “follow that car?” Why has Ben been buying mannequins off eBay? And more!

Additional Music by Alex Barron

John Wayne Throws Kid in River

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Oof - this is a tough one. Incredibly divisive, is “STAR 80” a darkly cynical triumph about the perils of Hollywood and the failings of men? Or is it a too-sympathetic “Portrait of An Incel as a who cares?!” per our guest Julie Klausner? Join us for a very spirited discussion about Fosse’s difficult last film, where we touch upon the dangers of the true crime genre, the tendency for male creatives to prioritize the male perspective, and the ways in which this film complicates the fascinating legacy of Fosse’s collaborative relationships with women. Plus, we offer our final Fosse rankings, and we ponder several tantalizing “what ifs?” about the unrealized projects lost to history after his death in 1987.

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It’s SHOWTIME, folks - and boy, are we jazzed about this episode! Broadway icon and actual Blank Check listener Lin-Manuel Miranda joins us to talk about what many consider to be Bob Fosse’s masterpiece, 1979’s “All That Jazz.” LMM surprises Griffin and David by bringing along an original copy of the film’s script, which offers some fascinating insights into Fosse’s blurring of the lines between memoir and fiction. We discuss the parallels between “All That Jazz” and LMM’s recent screen adaptation of Jonathan Larson’s “tick, tick…BOOM!” - two projects that are concerned with the creation of art in the face of mortality and self-doubt. Plus - Ben gets a very special birthday present. 

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Sure, Bob Fosse’s “Lenny” has beautiful cinematography, but does it effectively communicate that Lenny Bruce was funny? Is the narrative of stand-ups as “tortured truth tellers” overdone? 

We have THOUGHTS! Comedian and “stand-up historian” Colin Quinn joins us to talk about the legacy of Lenny Bruce, and what Fosse gets right (the milieu of the clubs, Valerie Perrine’s wonderful performance as Honey Bruce), and what he gets wrong (the actual humor). Plus - we entertain the idea of a miniseries structured not around a specific filmmaker, but a series of late-70s, early-80s films where the main auteur is…cocaine.

Editor’s Note: This episode includes Zoom audio.

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Wilkommen and Bienvenue to our “Cabaret” episode! Literal Disney Princess and musical theater superstar Rachel Zegler joins us to gush over Fosse’s 1972 film - a game-changer for the musical genre, and an Oscar-winning guarantor for Fosse’s cinematic “blank check” after the failure of “Sweet Charity.” Topics discussed include: the differences between the screen version and the stage show; Joel Grey’s Emcee being nearly cut out of the film; Liza Minnelli crafting her own unique look for Sally Bowles; Whether Michael York’s best role was on “Gilmore Girls”; and more!

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The minute you walked in the joint…I could see you were a man of distinction, A REAL PODCASTER! “Pod That Jazzcast” - our series on the films of Bob Fosse - kicks off with a real humdinger of an episode, as the boys discuss 1969’s swinging technicolor musical “Sweet Charity.” For folks unfamiliar with Fosse, we give an overview of his life and career in dance and theater leading up to his film directorial debut, and attempt to decipher his creative obsessions (women, fear of balding, isolated body movements, etc). Plus, Ben realizes he loves musicals, and the boys wonder which brass musical instrument has the most inherent humor.

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Our Sam Raimi series concludes with his most recent film - not to mention the first MCU film we’ve covered on the main feed - it’s time for Doctor Strange 2! Patrick Willems joins us to address the important questions: What was Raimi *doing* for the nine years between this and Oz? Does Kevin Feige and his Marvel Machine overpower Raimi’s creative voice? Should “Wandavision” have been released after this movie? Is Schnipper’s on 8th Ave the ideal place to debrief after seeing a movie in Times Square? Should America Chavez have been an adorable hobo riding the rails in between dimensions instead of a human MacGuffin? All that, plus Ben deploys his “nerd alert” buzzer instead of shoving the guys into a locker.

Patrick’s new film Night of the Coconut is available on Nebula (nebula.app/nightofthecoconut) or goto curiositystream.com/patrickhwillems and sign up for a discounted annual plan with free access to Nebula with your subscription. You can watch more of Patrick’s work on his YouTube channel.

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Ah, yes - we’ve arrived at the reason why we held off on covering Sam Raimi for so long…because we didn’t want to end our series on such a dismal note! “Oz the Great and Powerful” - Raimi’s last feature until the recent “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” - features James Franco in a performance that guest Dana Schwartz (“Noble Blood”) characterizes as “having the energy of a hot boy in a school play who’s laughing with his friends in the front row.” It doesn’t have the tactile, zippy cinematic language of Raimi’s best work, instead opting for the popular hyper-saturated, entirely digital look of Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” (a clear influence). But it *does* have a little girl made of porcelain who almost made Ben cry. Topics discussed include our desire for a Mila Kunissance, Zach Braff being the surprise MVP in this movie, whether “Tinkers” are a specific ethnicity or a class or workers, and the Disney IP lawyers who had to be on set making sure nothing infringed on MGM’s copyright of the classic Oz visuals.

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After the massive box office success of his Spider-Man movies, Sam Raimi went “back to basics” - returning to the gnarly demonic possession genre that he put his stamp on back in the “Evil Dead” days. This time, instead of the chin-god Bruce Campbell, we’ve got a particularly cherubic Alison Lohman in the starring role! The Bechdel Cast’s Caitlin Durante and Jamie Loftus join the #TwoFriends to chat about the goofy gross-out scares and economic recession relevance of 2009’s “Drag Me To Hell,” plus, we attempt to put together the ultimate canon of Goat Cinema.

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If “Spider-Man 2” had the reputation of being the greatest superhero movie of all time, “Spider-Man 3” had the inverse - a bloated mess with too many villains, and a very goofy Peter Parker going to the darkside, if by “darkside” you mean a trip to Men’s Warehouse and Hot Topic. But is that reputation justified? We’re gonna air on the side of…not REALLY. Notable Spidey 3 defender Jamelle Bouie (The New York Times, his podcast “Clear and Present Danger”) returns to Blank Check to praise this film’s focus on interpersonal relationships and quiet character moments. What else do we like? Griffin likes the “Editor’s Cut” (on Amazon Prime!). Ben *obviously* loves The Sandman. We all can agree that the much-memed sidewalk strut and jazz club sequences are a ton of fun. What doesn’t work? Let’s just say we have some issues with a lil guy named VENOM.

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For a while, “Spider-Man 2” was considered the high water mark for superhero movies - but does it hold up 14 years deep into the MCU? We’ve got two words for you - ALFRED MOLINA. Self-professed “Blank Check rabble rouser” Chris Gethard returns to the pod (and apologizes to the Blankie Community) as we trace the history and legacy of this iconic Spidey sequel. We love this movie so much, David doesn’t even care that the subway sequence isn’t accurate to New York! Other topics covered - why Aunt May should always be elderly and fragile, Tobey’s near-firing from the franchise, Mr Ditkovich Memes, our comic book villain rankings, and more!

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Upside down kissing, Bonesaw McGraw, and a soundtrack featuring not just one, but TWO of Avril Lavigne’s ex-husbands…it’s SPIDER-MAN! Screen Crush’s Matt Singer (who literally wrote a book about Spider-Man) joins us as we take a look back to a much different Hollywood landscape; a time when Marvel was a struggling comics company, when both Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire were considered odd choices for a superhero adaptation, and when no film had yet to open to $100M at the US Box Office. Is the hyphen in “Spider-Man” crucial to the film’s themes? Was it a mistake to cover Willem Dafoe’s already goblinesque visage with a mask? Does Joe Manganiello look too old to be a high school student? Join us as we discuss those questions and more!

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Katie Holmes in a lazy southern accent asks, “What’s the matter? See somethin’ bad?” and we are immediately transported back to the year 2000 when the trailers for this movie were EVERYWHERE.  Writer and podcasting icon Starlee Kine joins us to talk about Sam Raimi’s “The Gift” - a film with an incredibly stacked cast of actors who were eager to sink their teeth into a Southern Gothic Billy Bob Thornton creation. Do we buy Keanu as a wife-beating redneck? Is Cate Blanchett actually a terrible psychic? How does Giovanni Ribisi’s performance in this rank among his most deranged screen outings? Folks - we apologize in advance for bringing up “The Other Sister”.

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Is this not America? Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime? Is “For Love of the Game” a Sam Raimi movie? Technically speaking, sure! It’s about a guy who’s trying not to lose both his hand and his lady - some very Raimi-esque themes. Gawker’s Olivia Craighead returns to the pod to talk about Kevin “Straight Outta Compton” Costner, and we go long on crackerjacks, Vin Scully’s screenplay notes, and the cinematic pleasures of baseball. The crack of the bat, baby!

Plus - the boys open up about their little league days (Ben obviously loved to steal bases).

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$4.4 million, a murder of crows, and a cursed crashed plane…the ingredients for a real nail-biter of a fable! Filmmaker Kevin Smith (yep, THAT Kevin Smith) joins us to talk about one of his favorite films - 1998’s “A Simple Plan” - and to pay tribute to the late producer Jim Jacks, who shepherded several filmmakers (such as Raimi, the Coens, Richard Linklater, and Smith himself) as they made their transitions from scrappy indies to the big leagues. How successfully is Raimi able to meld his signature kinetic style with this film’s air of prestige? Was Billy Bob Thornton “the best actor alive between the years of 1998 and 2003,” per David? What would YOU do if you discovered all that money in the woods? Ben would buy an island, and there would be no problems or conflicts, and it would just be really chill and fun!

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Considered a bit of a “blank check” for actress Sharon Stone (she used her clout to bring Sam Raimi, Russell Crowe, and a babyfaced Leonardo DiCaprio to the project), “The Quick and The Dead” may have been too quirky for mainstream audiences and too earnest for the post-Tarantino generation of cinephiles back in 1995. But boy, does it slap in 2022! Roman Mars - The golden-voiced host of “99% Invisible” - joins us as David offers his definitive Russell Crowe performance ranking, and as we finally get an excuse to go long on the screen persona of Gene Hackman.

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KLAATU BARADA NIKTO - did we get that right? Writer Eva Anderson (WeCrashed, You’re the Worst) joins us as we attempt to answer several questions related to the final entry in the Evil Dead trilogy - 1993’s Army of Darkness. Why was this film not called MEDIEVAL DEAD? Did Embeth Davidtz and Liam Neeson talk about Sam Raimi on the set of Schindler’s List? How does Ben feel about the concept of a town pit? And most importantly, we introduce a tantalizing Hollywood mystery - was there a falling out between Silver Lake roommates Sam Raimi, Joel & Ethan Coen, Frances McDormand, Holly Hunter, and their sixth roommate…Kathy Bates? 

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Who’s Darkman? A man of a thousand faces! A walking fleshwound who probably smells awful! A dude who probably would be into night eggs! Filmmaker Chris Weitz joins us to geek out over Sam Raimi’s homage to the Universal Monsters - a film that establishes the comic book style that Raimi would later perfect with his “Spider-Man” trilogy. We discuss the early 90s run of pulpy comic book films (“Dick Tracy”, “The Shadow”), the shock of seeing Frances McDormand in what she describes as a “bimbo role,” and the unbelievably true story of how Sam Raimi swapped in his own cut of “Darkman” when the studio tried to release their own version. 

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It’s the definitive Sam Raimi film - a “symphony of silly” with a bravura performance from Bruce Campbell, and a prevailing sense of, “the more gore the merrier!” John Hodgman - who, believe it or not, was Bruce Campbell’s literary agent! - joins us to chat about the magic of “Evil Dead II” and what puts it in the pantheon of “sequels that improve upon the original installment.” Also in this episode - we imagine the time when Sam Raimi, the Coens, Frances McDormand, and Holly Hunter were all roommates in Silverlake; a behind the scenes look at the publication of Bruce Campbell’s best-selling memoir “If Chins Could Kill”; and an unrelated but very involved tangent about the Peanuts comic strip. 

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Sam Raimi directed a movie between “The Evil Dead” and “Evil Dead II” that was written by the Coen Brothers and no one ever talks about it…until NOW! Actor Brendan Hines (“The Tick”, “Locke and Key”) joins us to make sense of this early career oddity - a tonal mishmash of slapstick and film noir that we’d later see more successfully executed in films like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” and “The Mask”. Topics discussed include: the difficulties in scaling up the indie production model; Bruce Campbell’s evolving star persona; whether or not you can actually wash dishes in lieu of paying for your meal; and more!

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It’s Sam Raimi time - groovy! Our new series PODCAST ME TO HELL kicks off with a banger - 1981’s ultra-low-budget horror classic “The Evil Dead”. We’ll be taking you back to Royal Oak, Michigan, to explain how Raimi linked up with Bruce Campbell and the Coen Brothers, thus establishing a very consequential partnership. We’ll be dissecting exactly why this film (from a lean 14-page script!!) works so well. David will admit that he first learned about this movie from watching “Donnie Darko”. And then all of a sudden…*CRASH*...a branch goes through the window! All that, plus TWO box office games!

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It’s Hollywood’s biggest night - that’s right, it’s the Seventh Annual Blankies! “This Had Oscar Buzz” host Joe Reid joins us as always to celebrate our favorite films of 2021. Will Griffin award something weird this year? Is anyone going to stump for Being The Ricardos? What crazy categories will Ben come up with? Walk down the red carpet and find out!

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An unseen presence looming over the two friends, a man who has definitely ridden a dang horse, a larger than life character about whom many have speculated…are we talking about Bronco Hosley or Bronco Henry? Trolls impresario and Vanity Fair critic Richard Lawson makes his tenth (!!) appearance on the pod to unpack Jane Campion’s “The Power of the Dog.” Did Campion figure out the best use of Benedict Cumberbatch’s screen presence? Is anthrax the poison with the coolest name? Can you imagine Gerard Depardieu starring in this - it’s apparently his favorite book! All that, plus our final Campion rankings and the announcement of our next series.

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You may as well call this episode “Ode to a Whishaw” because we love that gentle gent! Fran Hoepfner joins us (and joins the Five-Timers Club!) to discuss Jane Campion’s 2006 John Keats biopic “Bright Star,” a movie that prompts Griffin to wonder if he, too, would die of tuberculosis if he took a long walk in the rain in 1820. Of course we talk about Hampstead Heath (David being canonically from London), of course we wonder what the hell happened to Paul Schneider (canonically incredible in this movie), and of course Ben is obsessed with Fanny Brawne’s epic Regency Era fits!  

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Want to hear us talk about how hot Mark Ruffalo is for two hours? Oooh boy, do we have a treat for you! Wikipedia-cited “In The Cut” stan Jourdain Searles joins us to unpack Jane Campion’s unjustly maligned erotic thriller. What happens to actresses once they turn 40? Would this movie have fared better with audiences if - instead of America’s Sweetheart Meg Ryan - it starred an edgier Nicole Kidman as originally planned? Do you remember the SCANDAL when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? Why did we care so much about that? 

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Is it nobler to try to pee on camera and fail than it is to not try at all? Does Harvey Keitel’s performance in this film only work when he puts on a dress? What the hell is going on in this movie?! David’s Fest Friend Forever Kyle Buchanan (author of the forthcoming “Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road”) joins us to answer those questions and more as we discuss Jane Campion’s bugnuts exploration of power dynamics - 1999’s “Holy Smoke!” Come for the Winslet career breakdown, stay for Kyle’s “amazeballs” anecdotes about Campion on the international festival circuit.

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This lady might not be “on fire” but she IS wearing a 19 inch corset! Social media maven Marie Bardi joins the boys to dissect Campion’s tepidly received follow-up to “The Piano” - the emotionally claustrophobic 1996 Henry James adaptation “The Portrait of a Lady”. If “The Piano” gave Jane her Blank Check, this film is a big swing and (in our opinion) a slight miss. Topics discussed include: John Malkovich’s clothing line for the modern dandy; the unfortunate plastic surgery-shaming of actress Barbara Hershey; Viggo Mortsenson’s performance in “Green Book” (one of our favorite topics);  and, of course, the queen of AMC Theaters herself - Nicole Kidman.

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Just imagine…it’s 1993. Bill Clinton is in the White House, Seinfeld is on TV, and America has PIANO FEVER! Newly-minted member of the Five Timers Club Esther Zuckerman joins us to unpack Campion’s Oscar-Winning erotic drama (possibly the first prestige pic to feature mild butt play). We’re asking all the tough questions: is “The King’s Daughter” the new “Margaret”? Should Harvey Keitel play Wolverine? Did Sam Neill tell Anna Paquin that he was going to work with actual dinosaurs after their shoot? Does Mr. Skin have a film critic on staff? 

Check out Esther's new book Beyond the Best Dressed: A Cultural History of the Most Glamorous, Radical, and Scandalous Oscar Fashion

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Dana Stevens (Slate.com / Her new Buster Keaton biography “Cameraman”) returns to the pod to *literally* wax poetic about the literary coming-of-age story “An Angel At My Table”. The film is an intimate, often heartbreaking saga of a woman discovering her own creative voice…and yes, the woman just happens to look like Little Orphan Annie. The gang discusses the film within the context of other films that show age progression through the casting of multiple actors; the context of films that depict mental illness; and the context of small redheaded children with very curly, almost spherical hair, who may or may not have hard knock lives. Plus - possibly our most obscure box office game yet, and some genuine Janet Frame poetry reading!

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We’ve climbed up in our childhood treehouse and we’re not coming down! Sarah Violet Bliss (Search Party) joins us to talk about “Sweetie” - Jane Campion’s off-kilter meditation on suburbia and sibling rivalry. Revelations within the episode include the fact that David was part of the “Neighbours Society” at Uni (a group of students in favor of airing the Aussie soap in common areas twice daily); that one of the IMDB tags for this movie is “Rides A Man Like A Horse”; that Producer Ben has *definitely* known a few Sweetie-types in his life; and more! 

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We’re kicking off our Jane Campion miniseries with her feature-length debut, auspiciously titled “Two Friends” - perhaps she has a competitive advantage? The backwards-structured script (the OG temporal pincer movement) leads the crew to reflect on their own adolescence…did you know David was already six feet tall at the age of twelve? And Ben was rocking size twelve shoes in middle school? Griffin may get a singular chest hair in 2022? Come for our Campion-filmography table setting, stay for a surprising amount of Simpsons discussion.

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Happy New Year! We’re going back to the Matrix - which we last covered in 2016 (!!) - and we’re feeling pretty good about it! Seraph was a login screen, sure…but is “Tiffany” a .TIFF? Is Agent Smith just a virus? Are we taking crazy pills for liking this movie so much? Jack in and let’s fly, Blankies.

Opening clip is from Howl's Moving Castle with David Ehrlich

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They said it couldn’t be done. Remaking possibly the most revered movie musical of all time?! A fool’s errand! But folks, we’ve learned a very important lesson…NEVER DOUBT STEVEN SPIELBERG. Especially when he’s teaming up with Tony “Dank” Kushner! David pinpoints the exact moments he wept during his multiple viewings of this most recent iteration of “West Side Story”; Ben praises all the dust and hot people; Griffin thinks that he probably needs to see it again. Grab your dancing shoes and meet us at the gym - it’s our final episode of 2021, and it’s time to MAMBO, Blankies! 

Plus, check out the Slow Xmas 2021 holiday music compilation now on Spotify and Bandcamp! Please support the bands/artists featured on this album.

Andrew BryantSpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeWebsiteTwitterInstagram

Ian FergusonSpotifyApple MusicBandcampWebsite

GymshortsSpotify (band)Spotify (Sarah Greenwell's solo project Greeensleeves)Apple MusicBandcampGreenway RecordsTwitterInstagram (band)Instagram (solo)

Jason Hawk HarrisSpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeBloodshot RecordsWebsiteTwitterInstagram

Sad13SpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeSoundcloudWebsiteTwitterInstagram

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Alert the horny police, because we’re taking ourselves to a nunnery with the Dirty Dutch Daddy himself - Paul Verhoeven! The gang goes bonkers for “Benedetta'', and Producer Ben-edetta reveals that he has an almost-saint in his family - one more miracle, and Ben gets to go to the Vatican! We discuss the connections between “Benedetta” and Verhoeven’s previous films (Sister Benedetta is a bit of a Catherine Trammell, and not just because she likes the ladies), do a smelly deep dive into the history of Professional Flatulists, and say a few prayers asking God to let Verhoeven make a big Hollywood movie again.

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We’ve spent four months in the Mouth of Madness with the Horror Master, and we’ve reached the end point of Carpenter’s directorial career...for now. A man who has *actually collaborated with John Carpenter* - Drew McWeeny (writer of Carpenter’s installments in the Masters of Horror series) - joins us to recontextualize our journey through Carpenter’s filmography with some exclusive behind-the-scenes tidbits. The Two Friends also discuss the strange career trajectory of Amber Heard (starting with the festival-smash-that-doesn’t-exist ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE), present their final Carpenter rankings, and reveal which Auteur they’ll cover on the podcast next. Plus - Ben learns the fun British term “video nasty” from David who grew up in England?

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Contrary to popular belief (and Wikipedia), this film was NOT supposed to be another installment in the Snake Plissken series - John Carpenter just thought it would be cool to make a movie about Mars “because it’s red.” Galaxy Brain’s Dave Schilling and Jonah Ray join us to dissect Carpenter’s take on that dusty red planet, his obsession with crossfades, and his lackluster deployment of Pam Grier. Why *is* Mars a matriarchal society in this movie? We thought Mars needed moms…

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They’re not just Vampires, they’re John Carpenter’s Vampires!  “Closer in patina” to a classic Howard Hawks western than anything Carpenter’s ever done, this film is nasty, gruesome, and devoid of any of the “teenyboppers” and romanticism that had become hallmarks of the slasher and vampire genres, respectively. David Ehrlich (Indiewire) joins us as we go deep into the woods - James Woods, that is - and come out with the least memorable Baldwin brother. Strada Chocolata!

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Less of a sequel and more of a “next gen video game re-skin,” Snake Plissken is back in “Escape from LA” and this time he’s got a surfboard! The “Gourley and Rust” guys join us to ponder whether or not a big budget is actually *bad* for John Carpenter. On the one hand, we get a Carp, Kurt, and Debra Hill reunion! On the other…those submarine sequences.

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