20. The Right Way to Tell Someone They're Wrong

Become New with John Ortberg

How do you tell someone they’re wrong… without condemning them?

John Ortberg explores one of the most important distinctions in communication: the difference between tone and heart. Tone can be soothing or jarring. But the heart must always be love.

Looking at Matthew 23, where Jesus confronts religious leaders with blistering language, John asks: Was Jesus condemning them? Or was something deeper happening?

You’ll discover:
- Why condemnation is not the same as moral clarity
- The difference between contempt and courage
- What “malice + disgust” really means
- Why Jesus compares himself to a mother hen
- How to speak the truth in love without losing your soul

Drawing from Romans 8, Matthew 23, Luke 19, and a reflection by Barbara Brown Taylor, this episode offers a powerful prayer for Lent:
“God, give me the right heart. Then show me the right tone.”

If you’re navigating conflict, leadership, parenting, or hard conversations — this one matters.

Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment

📚 Today's Resources:
Barbara Brown Taylor — reflection on the chapel Dominus Flevit and the image of the mother hen
Chapel of Dominus Flevit (“The Lord Wept”) on the Mount of Olives
Film reference: A League of Their Own (Tom Hanks coach scene — jarring tone, not necessarily a bad heart)

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Music Credits:
Believe Me by Glass Echoes - MB01UU8HNMQ8GT0
Frost on My Window by Coldbrew - MB01IZWASF1DYPO

More description

How do you tell someone they’re wrong… without condemning them?

John Ortberg explores one of the most important distinctions in communication: the difference between tone and heart. Tone can be soothing or jarring. But the heart must always be love.

Looking at Matthew 23, where Jesus confronts religious leaders with blistering language, John asks: Was Jesus condemning them? Or was something deeper happening?

You’ll discover:
- Why condemnation is not the same as moral clarity
- The difference between contempt and courage
- What “malice + disgust” really means
- Why Jesus compares himself to a mother hen
- How to speak the truth in love without losing your soul

Drawing from Romans 8, Matthew 23, Luke 19, and a reflection by Barbara Brown Taylor, this episode offers a powerful prayer for Lent:
“God, give me the right heart. Then show me the right tone.”

If you’re navigating conflict, leadership, parenting, or hard conversations — this one matters.

Download the free NO CONDEMNATION COMMITMENT: https://bit.ly/NC-commitment

📚 Today's Resources:
Barbara Brown Taylor — reflection on the chapel Dominus Flevit and the image of the mother hen
Chapel of Dominus Flevit (“The Lord Wept”) on the Mount of Olives
Film reference: A League of Their Own (Tom Hanks coach scene — jarring tone, not necessarily a bad heart)

🙌 New episodes every weekday.
📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.

Become New is here to help you grow spiritually one day at a time.
TEXT US at 855-888-0444
EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.com

GET OUR WEEKDAY EMAILS WITH EXTRA GOODIES at becomenew.com/subscribe
GET A TEXT REMINDER FOR NEW VIDEOS: text BECOME to 855-888-0444
SEND US PRAYER REQUESTS: via text or email; we'll send you a written prayer from our team

😊 Join Our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1CnqywVp9s/
🤳Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/become.new/

Music Credits:
Believe Me by Glass Echoes - MB01UU8HNMQ8GT0
Frost on My Window by Coldbrew - MB01IZWASF1DYPO

2026-02-23 16 min
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