34. When Someone in Your Family Won’t Change...

Become New with John Ortberg

How do you confront someone’s behavior without becoming condemning yourself?
In this episode, John walks through a common real-life situation — dealing with a difficult family member — and explains the three elements required for genuine change.

Drawing on insights from Henry Cloud, Dallas Willard, and research on conflict and relationships, John shows why condemnation rarely leads to transformation.

You’ll discover:
- why grace must come first
- how truth can be spoken without hostility
- why the emotional tone of a conversation matters
- the surprising role patience plays in change
- why grace + truth + time are all necessary

Real growth rarely happens overnight. But when grace, truth, and time come together, relationships can begin to change in ways condemnation never could.
Because there is now no condemnation.

📚 Today's Resources:
Henry Cloud — insights on the change process
Dallas Willard — interpretation of Galatians 6
The Way Out — Peter Coleman
Research from John Gottman and Barbara Fredrickson on emotional tone in conflict

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📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.

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EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.com

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Music Credits:
Believe Me by Glass Echoes - MB01UU8HNMQ8GT0
Frost on My Window by Coldbrew - MB01IZWASF1DYPO

More description

How do you confront someone’s behavior without becoming condemning yourself?
In this episode, John walks through a common real-life situation — dealing with a difficult family member — and explains the three elements required for genuine change.

Drawing on insights from Henry Cloud, Dallas Willard, and research on conflict and relationships, John shows why condemnation rarely leads to transformation.

You’ll discover:
- why grace must come first
- how truth can be spoken without hostility
- why the emotional tone of a conversation matters
- the surprising role patience plays in change
- why grace + truth + time are all necessary

Real growth rarely happens overnight. But when grace, truth, and time come together, relationships can begin to change in ways condemnation never could.
Because there is now no condemnation.

📚 Today's Resources:
Henry Cloud — insights on the change process
Dallas Willard — interpretation of Galatians 6
The Way Out — Peter Coleman
Research from John Gottman and Barbara Fredrickson on emotional tone in conflict

🙌 New episodes every weekday.
📲 Subscribe, like, and share to help others grow spiritually. One day at a time.

Become New is here to help you grow spiritually one day at a time.
TEXT US at 855-888-0444
EMAIL US at connect@becomenew.com

GET OUR WEEKDAY EMAILS WITH EXTRA GOODIES at becomenew.com/subscribe
GET A TEXT REMINDER FOR NEW VIDEOS: text BECOME to 855-888-0444
SEND US PRAYER REQUESTS: via text or email; we'll send you a written prayer from our team

😊 Join Our Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1CnqywVp9s/
🤳Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/become.new/

Music Credits:
Believe Me by Glass Echoes - MB01UU8HNMQ8GT0
Frost on My Window by Coldbrew - MB01IZWASF1DYPO

2026-03-13 14 min
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