Dear Hank & John

How do I prove I didn’t use AI in my masters thesis? Why is it so hard to do the things I really want to do? Is there something different about men’s colons? How did people go about collecting relics? Why are short stories not more popular than novels? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do fish jump out of the water? What do I talk about in therapy? If the whole world quarantined itself for six weeks, would all viruses die out? If I want to donate to the TB cause, what is the best organization to do that with? Does a place without wind exist? Why does diet Dr. Pepper taste so differently when it is cold versus when it is room temperature? What do I do when it is my circus, but not my monkeys? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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How did John bike to the airport? How do we know that Earth isn’t being bombarded by space frogs? How can we channel more Uncle Mike in our everyday lives? Do fish have bums? What has the Beef Days experience been like? Does the Earth receive a uniform amount of energy from the sun?  …Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do people determine if they have a high or low pain tolerance? Can John and Hank tell the difference between their writing styles? How can I find my joy in my teenhood? Why don’t astronomers know more confidently when and where space stuff will collide? What do I do about my sneezing newborn? Which of the books that John and Hank have written should you start with? Is Rax Roast Beef and Rax Pizza Buffet the same thing? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I talk to my sister about our differing religious beliefs? Why do we draw stars as five pointed shapes when they are actually spheres? Has John tried blackberry Dr. Pepper and what are his thoughts? How do I cope with knowing I might not graduate college in four years? Which reptiles have souls? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I become someone people care about? Should I tell my roommate’s boyfriend that she is cheating on him? How do I meet people and start dating? What break-up remedies do you recommend? My boyfriend has a different aesthetic than mine, how do we decorate? How do I deal with the grief of losing a pet that is still alive? …Shan Boodram and John Green have answers.

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Can sharks get tuberculosis? Why create your own products rather than promote existing products? Where did I exist before I was born?  How do I deal with fear of missing out on memes? Is this a sleep podcast or a workout podcast?  How do bones heal?  Why are envelopes the size they are?  How big and dense are neutron stars?  …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Are the geese in Mary Oliver’s “Wild Geese” Canada Geese?  Why are there taglines on movie posters? Does footballer Joe Lewis have special shorts?  How was the alphabetical order decided?  Are lone geese searching for the rest of their flock? Should Canada become the 51st US state? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Whatever happened to Ecogeek? If humans colonized Mars, would there be a pope of Mars? Are certain types of protein more effective for humans? Did AFC Wimbledon get… good? How do elephants walk around on their squishy feet? What are the godly hours? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Have Hank and John’s opinions of Elon Musk changed over the years? How do I not wallow in despair after losing my job? How do you start writing someone’s biography? How does file compression work? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Is it socially appropriate to cover my ears and go “ahhhhhh?” Where did all the water on Mars go? How do I deal with friends who disrespect my favorite singer? Why are there perfectly uniform bubbles in my soap? Why don’t people just take the bribe and not do the corruption?  Should we abandon social media platforms? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Can gasses other than oxygen be fuel for fire? What happens to your internal organs after giving birth? How does copper work? How do other animals deal with umbilical cords?  What would happen if we got our tailbones removed? …Hank and Deboki have answers!

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How do you plan for the year ahead? Where is John going on tour? Why do my hands clap louder when freshly lotioned? How do I deal with getting a bad grade? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Is the “Indianapolis Cocktail” actually served in Indianapolis? What do I do with my life? How do I entertain my friend in the hospital? What’s up with the lyrics in "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?” …Hank and John Green have answers!

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If I make two cups of tea with the same leaves, am I ingesting twice the caffeine? Should I get a “This Machine Kills Facists” laptop sticker in 2024? When did starlings show up in America?  What should I do with the leftover cups from Costco chocolate parfait deserts? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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What do Hank and John look like?  What do Americans know about Australia?  Why is there not a cure for cancer? What do I do with having too many books? What’s the difference between a non-profit and a business that gives its profit to charity? What age are dead people? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why are people on Goodreads so angry? Can you gift a subscription on good.store? Can I read Everything is Tuberculosis if I’m squeamish?  Are there different levels of oxygen in the atmosphere during different seasons? Is it true that ponderosa pines can’t reproduce without wildfires? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do Hank and John keep things PG?  Why are white sheets the standard ghost costume?  How will computers deal with dates beyond the year 9999?  If the president was allergic to peanuts, would the White House become a peanut-free zone?  In the Garfield comic strip, can John understand what Garfield is thinking? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do things happen “at” night but “during” the day? How do you heat food during a power outage? What is an organ? Does moonlight contain UV rays? What are the implications of AI song covers? What’s a better name than Milkdromeda? Hank and John Green have answers!

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When do I stop using a bar of soap? What’s the current state of the first plastics ever made?  How do you best judge peoples’ character when dating?  What’s going on with bacteria in my math problem?  How do authors get health insurance?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why don’t we know why gravity works? What if the Green brothers went on Dancing with the Stars?  When jaundiced, do smurfs turn green? Why am I always thirsty even though I drink lots of water? How is Potato doing?  Do you ever go down internet rabbit holes learning about the things that plague you? …Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do many romance books release in paperback? Can giraffes swim? Can a mosquito get drunk from biting me?  How do I understand supreme court decisions?  Should I put ice cubes in my mug before or after pouring my coffee? Hank and John Green have answers!

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When will people be buried on the moon or mars? How do I not feel lonely and like a social failure? Do we not have anything interesting to say to ants? At what point is it socially acceptable to refer to how long your business has been open? What’s the deal with art galleries?  Where do ocean creatures go during a storm? Where does the sun get its energy? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Would John perform standup if it avoided inconveniencing someone? Which historical figure should be swapped with a dinosaur? Why is everyone so mad about Pluto? How do you solve a problem like Maria? Hank and John Green have answers in this live show.

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In which Hank and John go on a journey of meaning.

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Should tiny characters really have high-pitched voices?  Where do flies sleep? Is a seed a plant?  When, why, and how were hard-shell tacos invented? Should I be concerned about nicotine in potatoes?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Do we have the original copy of the declaration of independence? What animals would have been on Noah’s Ark?  What do I do if I accidentally walk into a fancy restaurant?  What do I do with an unused prom dress?  How do I know if I’m a boring person?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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If everything was the exact same color, would we still be able to see? Why can't I take naps in contacts? How long does it take to get to space? What would you bring to Mars? How many people are asleep right now? If atoms are mostly space, why don't I fall through my chair? Hank and John Green have answers!

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John has launched a new podcast project with Katie Mack! Crash Course Pods: The Universe is a new limited series podcast where Dr. Katie Mack, a theoretical astrophysicist, walks John Green through the history of the entire universe - including the parts that haven’t been written yet.

Join John and Katie as they discuss the Big Bang, cosmic dawn, black holes, and, eventually, the end of our universe.

It’s available now on at https://youtube.com/CrashCourse and wherever podcasts are available.

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What's the best way to hold an umbrella? What do I do with a life-sized Shaq? Are humans a super-organism? Why does espresso goop smell like burnt hair? Is 26 too late to start wearing sunscreen? What is a pet to do when their person sneezes? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How could ping pong balls be considered a liquid? What do you mean "there's no free will"? What is toothpaste? What counts as a rare book? What is Applebees? What's the worst accent you got? What would happen if Gamera hugged the moon? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What are some good audiobooks? How do I relearn to chew? How do vitamins get assigned letters? How do I ask for money I was owed? How do I deal with a fear of worms? How do gel fingernails work? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why does my cat put her mice in the water bowl? How do you quit Twitter? How much would it cost to build a real Lego house? What happens to dirt displaced by coffins? Why do batteries bounce when they're dead? How do I balance socialization and personal time? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What's a good place to put stickers? How do I convince my friends to join me in a wolf-and-bear enclosure? How does a compass work in space? How do I be less judgmental? What's happening with the economy? Did astronauts know about low gravity on the moon before they got there?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do you stop caring whether people like you? Why does my shower set off the smoke detector? Why would a 21st century suburban high school have to test for tuberculosis? Should I wash my eyes? Can a solar sail tack against solar wind? Has humanity peed an entire ocean yet?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I choose what college to apply to? Any fast tips for college survival? Am I gonna forget everything I learn in school? What's the future of college? What do I do after college? How do I function on my own? Hank and John Green have answers!

Take a college course that starts on YouTube and earn college credit with Study Hall: https://link.gostudyhall.com/dhj

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Why don't batteries last very long? Does Spider-man have to brush his teeth? Can a goose do math? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do humans have butts? Why does John sound weird this week? What should a delivery driver do when a dog escapes? How many humans have ever been 30? How do I handle my drinking problem? Why do leaves change colors at different rates? Are we doing anything tonight? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What's up with the Green brothers in 2024? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Where is the bit line? Why are some jenga blocks harder to pull than others? Would the moon be the same brightness if it was a different color? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Are orcas the only animals that sink ships? Will vodka give flowers a second wind? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I get my significant other on board with Taylor Swift? Would Taylor Swift be a good president?  Will you rerelease the Eras Tour Pizza John shirt? What's your opinion on Napoleon Dynamite?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Do my pets have better circulation than me? What's the organizational structure of an anarchy club? What are your hiatus T-Swift thoughts? How do I return a key to someone I don't talk to anymore? Why does a boiled egg feel less than a fried egg? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why is unsalted water called freshwater? How long would it take to drink a swimming pool? How do I gently reject a fish? What size are we on the scale of the universe? Can I eat misdelivered food? How do I break spaghetti? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Hey, what's up with the podcast now? How do I destroy a thatched roof in a wind tunnel? Hank and John return from a brief hiatus to give you all these answers and more!

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Why do we have Eastern and Pacific time zones? What would happen if I blended a smoothie for a year? What's the most versatile food? Why are some towns completely circular? Why do we get in the shower instead of under it? Why do people like surprise boxes? Hank Green and Mike Trapp have answers! And you can catch more of both of them on Dimension 20's Mentopolis, now on Dropout.tv!

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What the heck is going on with Dear Hank and John for the next four to six months?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do I find meaning in life? How big would a ball made of all the world's mosquitos be? If Neanderthals were around today, would they understand memes? Where is it 5 o'clock right now?  Hank and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Should cars have two horns? Why are humans the only animal that uses toilet paper? How do cowboys say goodbye? When will the first space murder take place? How do I have a Taskmaster birthday? Was there ever a day when nobody died? Hank Green and Sam Reich have answers!

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If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Where does the word delete come from? How do I maintain friendships in a difficult time? Do humans undergo physiological changes along with seasons? Could a potato take a picture? How do I do stuff at college? Why do we do what we do? What shoes are best at deflecting cleats? What's the deal with tuberculosis? John and Sarah Urist Green have answers!

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Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.