Dear Hank & John

Are roaches a moral failing? What makes a species native? What's a finsta? How do I help a horse experiencing object permanence? Can I use quarters I found? How do they do surgery on a fish? Why do only old people like stinky cheese?  Hank Green and Roman Mars have answers!

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Is doing a 180 in a rocket ship hard? Do fish get thirsty? What are some alternatives to "Sun's Out, Guns Out"? How worried should we be about AI? Where do Floridians go for spring break? What's the next big sick? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What does water smell like? Did bipedal dinosaurs get back pain? Is my perception of time related to my heart rate? Does getting fresh air when you're sick actually doing anything? Are orange peels airtight? Why can't I smell ants? Why can't humans drink river water anymore? Deboki Chakravarti and Hank Green have answers!

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Are there any liquid planets? What should I know about tuberculosis? Do we eat rocks other than salt? Why do I like crickety leg rubbing? What do I wear to an orchestral Ratatouille event? How do I hide my birthday? Is 100^99 bigger or smaller than 99^100? How do full moons work?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why do we put butter in that thing in our fridges? How do I explain memory loss without garnering sympathy? Is mental illness as romanticized as it is stigmatized? Are righties called northpaws? What's the best donut you've ever had? Where is the Pogue's Run Tunnel? How do I make a Dr Pepper cheesecake? John and Sarah Urist Green have answers!

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Do mouse burp? Does skiing get better? Why does one movie feel longer than multiple TV episodes? Can I yo-yo while skydiving? What's the loudest a sound could be? What have we learned today? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Can I use eggwater for coffee? Do cows eat chickens? Does soup make you pee? How does electricity know when a circuit is closed? How many pancakes are required for a stack? Is John trying to pull his hair out? What's some good cheese-grating small talk? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why can't I sneeze on command? Do young people really not want to work anymore? Does every region have their own secret sodas? When will the Awesome Coffee Club make tea? Could I survive deep underwater if I went down there slowly enough? Why don't people say things are going North? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Can fish see water? How do you decide what to write about? Does a shoal ever get to just vibe? What's your favorite part of the movie Goncharov? Do sea creatures have boogers? How long would it take to walk around the moon? Why do people unwantedly abbreviate my name? What color do you want your bones to be? Do I move through time, or vice versa? Can I keep a gift I haven't given yet? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Are anthills just one person? Can you help solve crosswords? Did people used to think they would die of colds? What does "have a good one" mean? When can I compliment a stranger?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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What person growth have you seen in your life? Why doesn't my heart feel sore after exercise? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Which uncle is most likely to underpay you? How do eyes wear a sundress? What are your New Year's Hot Takes? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What can I do in an empty library? How fast do we make pee? Can a horse and a dinosaur have kids? Can I live in Milton Keynes as a Wimbledon fan? Could I drink Martian water through a filtered straw? Is the sun up there silently screaming for all eternity?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Does it really take one to know one? What do I say when I hand someone blood? How do I catch up with news on a monthly basis? How do I keep my impact in perspective?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why aren't people over 18 called majors? How does irratiation work? Why are different spots of skin different? What does it mean for Hank to be on a journey of meaning? How long have artichokes been around? Who's Bernice? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What would you do with $44 billion? How important are consistent beliefs? Who decides collective nouns? How do I stop swearing but still be cool? Can correlation ever imply causation? Do we know more about ʻOumuamua? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Who decides how a name is pronounced? What would you preserve for the future? How do I make sure I'm kind? Have you purchased your burial plots yet? What can I do in Indianapolis? How do I impress with rollerblades? Have you considered going to Ireland? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!

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Why is it harder to wake up during inclement weather? How do I explain gravity to a 3-year-old? Do magnets ever stop magneting? Do I weigh less on a mountain? What's the difference between an -ology and an -onomy? Where should I get my next tattoo? What's the tattoo-getting etiquette?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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Where does paper go when you cut it? Were silent letters always silent? Why do you only smell smells when you inhale? What categories aren't made up? Do other planets each have their own unique day names? How do you deal with grief? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

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Did people used to die of old age earlier? What would happen to a dead body on the moon? Where could I live that is furthest away from venomous creatures? How do we know that smacking an asteroid would keep it from hitting Earth? How do I be brave in the dark? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

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Do you have questions? This week only, Hank Green and John Green have exactly zero answers! Just a real human conversation about pilfered lemurs, secret playlists, and past mortifications.

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Could you break out of a giant pickle? How do you balance gratitude? How do I pretend I know what someone's talking about? How do I be more understanding of reply anxiety? How do I handle people who don't like Rocky Horror? How do I correct someone's pronunciation? Hank Green and Mark Watson have answers!

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What class would you invent? How do I know if someone recognizes Pizza John or not? How do I let one of my students know I recognize Snizza John? What do I do when a student tells me I look like I eat trail mix? Is time just an increase in entropy? How do you handle pizza emergencies? What beverage do we leave out on Pizzamas Eve? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What's up with Ryan Reynolds? Why do green anoles like singing more than brown anoles? Is stomach acid inside our bodies or outside our tubes? How do bats aim poop? How do La Croixs get their flavor? What is the beer of champagnes? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Would being caught just before hitting the ground still hurt? Is it bad that the Earth is spinning faster? Where does the air inside of bell peppers come from? Why do people use pot lids as cymbals? How do you get better at trivia?  Hank and John Green have answers!

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How often does the moon go around the Earth? Are bugs alright? How do I not cry at rude customers? When's the last time you had a good cry? What is the animal version of "humanity"? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I house sit for 100 ducks? How do I move a tectonic plate? How do power lines explode balloons but not birds? Why are so many US products not available in Canada? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What would happen if a day was a minute? What if an asteroid hit a volcano that was ready to erupt? Would a rocket and a bullet go through Jupiter's center? How many countries would Earth have if they were all the size of Vatican City? Would you tell anyone if you found oil on Mars? Could a person eat a whole cloud? Hank Green and Randall Munroe have answers!

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How do I have my writing read apart from me? Is the Earth really round? How do I find out about food recalls? What would Earth be like if trees had never evolved? Why are the planets different at different distances from the sun? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How does something absorb light? How do I handle losing four marks? Is it okay to disagree with movie reviews? Can I just take ice cream? Is it bad luck to open an umbrella in a car? Hank Green and Brennan Lee Mulligan have answers!

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How do I respond to decade old bread texts? How do woodpeckers not get concussions? Would Earth's destruction be bad for Mars? Why is it so hard to get the last cereal square on the spoon? How was soap invented? What would Earth look like from space if  it never had life on it? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What's up with all the giraffe sex? Why is it easier to keep a moving bicycle upright? How does my stomach growl? Why were dinosaurs so big? What are some interesting skills to have? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I learn to fart? Do I dream of invisible sounds? Can you use a vacuum inside a vacuum? What does "keep an ear out" mean? Why are hardcover books so expensive? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Why is the Earth's interior still molten? How do I tell someone I don't like orange soda? What do I write in the yearbook for someone who failed my class? What do I do with Too Much Peanut Butter? How does a 14-year-old make money? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do we know what happens in black holes? How do I make small talk with an old guy? What's the best plant for a typewriter-shaped flower pot? Why do we have capital letters but not numbers? What's the difference between democrats and republicans? Why do heat injuries make you more prone to future heat injuries? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Do I address a mis-sent crab flyer? Could we open some terrariums on the moon? What does "run of the mill" mean? How will people on Mars maintain their microbiome? Do snakes need to stretch? Is there a purpose to having music around ad breaks? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What grade would we get as an alien's homework? Was your feud over YouTube comment signatures? How do you write an email? Can trees make clouds? How do I make it to the bathroom when the middle seater sleeps? Is it okay to buy used books? Hank and John Green have answers!

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How do I handle a loved one's astronaut aspirations? Should I pick dandelions? How do I sound more cultured? What is a "vibe" scientifically speaking? How do you think of new jokes? Why can't we send our garbage into space? Hank and John Green have answers!

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Can I use a mother's day coupon on myself? How much of a dollar bill do you have to have to use it? Why is the computer mouse cursor tilted? How do we know Alpha Centauri is the closest star? Can a smell be solidified? What does my dog know about mirrors? Will a badger respect my pee? Hank Green has answers!

Music breaks in this episode:

"Fall of a Raindrop" by Calm Shores

"Soda Stream Jingle" by somebody in the '90s who probably got paid a LOT

"The Bratwurst Song" by Stationary Sign

"Street Life Educations" by  Off Cuts

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• Note: The podcast ad for the IMPACT app is unscripted and being recorded live. It may contain some slight differences. Please visit https://impact.interactivebrokers.com/ for full details of products and services. Interactive Brokers, LLC member FINRA/SIPC.
• The projections or other information generated by IMPACT app regarding the likelihood of various investment outcomes are hypothetical in nature, do not reflect actual investment results and are not guarantees of future results. Please note that results may vary with use of the tool over time.
• The paid ad host experiences and testimonials within the Podcast may not be representative of the experiences of other customers and are not to be considered guarantees of future performance or success. The opinions provided within the ad belong to the host alone.

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What do you picture while reading? How often should a woodpecker poop? What does the spicy cough demand? What do I do about workplace ants? Can a friend be a +1? How do I know if a job is not for me? John Green and Rosianna Halse Rojas have answers!

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Do bees know what they're doing? Do you worry that you'll run out of thoughts? What is the wildest thing some rando has ever said to you? Can my weekend sleep schedule be different? Why are advertisements so annoying? How do ships traveling at half speed save fuel? What are the implications of a tiny plastic baby? How do you do anything when the world is ending? John Green has answers!

Music breaks in this episode:

"Dear Hank and John Theme" by Gunnarolla

"Stolen Hearts" by T. Morri

"Becoming Mr. Bossa" by Redeemin'

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Note: The podcast ad for the IMPACT app is unscripted and being recorded live. It may contain some slight differences. Please visit https://impact.interactivebrokers.com/ for full details of products and services. Interactive Brokers, LLC member FINRA/SIPC.

The projections or other information generated by IMPACT app regarding the likelihood of various investment outcomes are hypothetical in nature, do not reflect actual investment results and are not guarantees of future results. Please note that results may vary with use of the tool over time.

The paid ad host experiences and testimonials within the Podcast may not be representative of the experiences of other customers and are not to be considered guarantees of future performance or success. The opinions provided within the ad belong to the host alone.

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How are art eras named? How do I feel about a somewhat small accomplishment? How do move on from gnomes? Do you like Latin? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!

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From exploding shower doors to unsneezing doctors, here's a collection of some of Dear Hank and John's most memorable moments from episodes 200 to 300 (ish)! There's also a bunch of dad jokes. If you need a refresher on some dubious advice, Hank Green and John Green have you covered!

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Why don't we have mouth roombas? Is the universe full of chickens? What scientific advances are happening? What was the first internet purchase? How do I convince my parents to let me check a bag? What is Twitter? What's the difference between a telescope and a camera? Are sea monkeys natural? Hank Green and Roman Mars have answers!

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Are there more wheels or doors? Why do we have individual teeth? Are there more teeth or more legs? mOON NOT COLD? What if my colors are different? How do I use a mouse? Why do firefighters have Dalmatians? Do astronauts ever eat normal food? How does moving water cast a shadow? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

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What percentage of total stuff do we know about? What does "net zero carbon emissions" mean? Why does stove-heated soup taste better than microwaved soup? How do I maintain motivation consistency? How do I tell my boss I hate his football team? Is there a way to eat asparagus without your pee smelling weird? John Green and Hank Green have answers!

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How do you eat salad without looking weird? Should I wear makeup to a job interview if I don't usually wear it? Why are word games so fun? When does "late" turn into "stood up"? Why does clothing changes sizes in luggage? How do I find people who want what I make? How do I enjoy a hobby without being the best at it? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!

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Why do people fall for crypto scams? Should I work for a company that doesn't align with my values? Why does cash not feel like real money anymore? Where do millionaires keep their money? Why is investing seen as a "man thing"? How do I not feel bad about leaving my job? How do I start investing? What dinosaur had the most delicious eggs? Hank Green and Chelsea Fagan have answers!

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Do we really need leap days? Are there liquids that are thinner than water? Why did Hank keep making TikToks after he said he wanted just one? How do I explain mortality to people who question my flowers? Do my cells have families and sentience? Hank and John Green have answers!

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What would happen if we carbonated the ocean? Were you excited to talk at the doomsday clock conference? How do I be less competitive? Is the Library of Congress an actual library? What does "heard through the grapevine" come from? Hank and John Green have answers!

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