Sunday Papers

Mike recounts being at The Chappelle show where he was attacked, we talk about Norm’s memorial and then get into news about escaped convicts, Canadian abortions and Sydney Sweeney getting cat-called at The Met Gala.

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A hiker falls in the tank of a port-o-potty, Trump can’t define what a woman is and a couple is married on a Southwest flight to nowhere.
Also we talk about who will replace James Corden and penis fish in Florida? Where else?

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Mike takes a COVID TEST on the air, we reveal the results (it’s not good) and we discuss sex with a lizard. A Tyson takes out a Karen, a weed truck overturns on 4/20 and an entire wedding gets dosed by the bride. 

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Mike gets an aggressive TSA pat-down on his way to a Wheeler Walker Jr show in Nashville. Ted Cruz will not felate a man to end world hunger, Cuba Gooding and Gary Coleman and a 28 year old girl dating Al Pacino are this week’s pervs and AC/DC helps in the operating room.

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We better hope Will Smith does not listen to this podcast. Or Caitlyn Jenner or anybody that’s had an abortion. For the rest of you there are some great stories about a man burying a school bus full of children (they lived!) Alec Baldwin and a Brazilian singer who was rushed to the hospital because she held in her farts.

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Big news week with March Madness and The Oscars this weekend. Also 2 gay guys adopt a gay dog, a Goop Exec quits over diarrhea, and a Brazilian woman gives a homeless man a special treat in her car.

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Mike rests up after the St Paddy’s Day Parade in NYC and we discuss Danny Thomas, Pete Davidson in space, Bono’s poem, a homeless guy in FL enjoying himself a little too much in a Starbucks and how we can’t find a 3rd contestant for "Gubbins Bachelor” 

Make sure to follow Dennis Gubbins on IG @dgubs

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Follow Dennis Gubbins on IG @dgubs

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The Freedom Truck convoy is moving slower than the Russian troop convoy in Ukraine, the battle is on for Dennis Gubbins heart and there is briefly no joy on The View. Follow Dennis Gubbins on Instagram @dgubs

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We wrap our feeble heads around the Ukraine invasion and the history of the Molotov cocktail. 2 sets of identical twins marry each other, a cheerleader in FL kills 3 hookers and in a thrilling finale Gibbs walks us through his WORDLE solution from Friday.

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Ice fishing shacks are the new jack shacks, a confederate flag burning in the Bayou, A Florida woman uses her relief $ to put a hit on a TSA worker, and the Queen mother pays a settlement for her garbage son Prince Andrew.

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SUPERBOWL SUNDAY PAPERS! Our Rams tear up as Ellen steps in and crushes a dream. Our jackass review, a gambling nun and a man runs over another man for putting mayo on his sandwich.

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Follow Dennis Gubbins on Instagram @dgubs 

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The Anne Frank narc is finally busted, a driverless Tesla takes some people out, and a review of Louie CK’s new special. Chinese officials are Covid-testing with anal swabs and we mark the passing of the greats Louie Anderson and Meat Loaf.

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This week: More kids are smoking cigarettes, Italian COVID-19 parties, and now we're told pot prevents COVID-19. (Gubbins can stop wearing a mask!) Plus, a TikTok creator is choked to death by his boyfriend in Detroit and a teenage boy is hacking into Teslas around the world.

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Greg Zooms in with the help of Jesus Christ from his mom’s condo in Florida while Mike prepares a trip to the desert. This week has three Florida man stories and a breakdown of an Elton John Christmas song that will bring out the holiday spirit. This is the last Sunday Papers of the year, so thanks to you guys for all the support! Happy holidays!

Follow Mike Gibbons on Instagram @GibbonsTime

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Caitlyn gets bounced from the Beverly Hilton, Ben Affleck trashes Jen Garner, and Billie Eilish watched too much porn. Kim Jong-un executed 7 people for watching K-Pop and guess what state had a teacher sleep with a student?

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Ghislaine Maxwell is scared for her life, The Saudi Camel beauty contest bans plastic surgery and it turns out life inside the Playboy mansion was a little rapey. 

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Tons of people joining the Mile High Club in Vegas, Tucson cops put 9 bullets in a guy in a wheelchair, a British guy "slipped and fell" onto a two-inch-wide artillery shell with his asshole and a woman breastfeeds a cat on a United fight.

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Some leftover stories from the week including Will Smith ejaculating until he pukes, Ghislaine’s treatment in prison, a Texas woman acting like a Florida man, and a North Korean man is sentenced to death for watching “Squid Games". Bet they do it in a fun way.

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The kids are home from college and Thanksgiving is almost here! Nazis are now trying to use humor, we visit menstrual huts in Nepal and review Taylor Swift's 10 minute song from SNL. Also, a man in China is banned from an all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating all he could eat.

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Mike sees David Byrne’s show in NYC and Greg sees Erin break her wrist in San Francisco. A one lb. baby is born and Ron Howard resented Fonzie. Drake drops $1M in a strip club right after the Travis Scott concert and a Fla man punches his prison-mate for farting too much in their cell.

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We recap going to the Dead show on Halloween and reminisce about Greg taunting Mike that he was running 15 minutes behind Gumby at The NYC Marathon. QAnon predicts JFK Jr will announce Trump is still president and one compelling reason you should not keep a hippo as a pet. 

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Hannah Gadsby weighs in on Chappelle, but Ted Sarandos holds his ground. A California woman throws sex parties for teenagers and Lindsey Graham is jealous of the Gucci bags Brazilian immigrants are bringing across the border. BTW Jonah Hill is not interested on what you think of his weight. 

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After recounting adventures at a celebrity golf tournament Greg and Mike played in this week, they laugh at The Bieb who was duped by a fake Tom Cruise. Anti-vaxers are trying to find jobs, and people on the Spectrum are trying to find love. Mike gives his review of Chappelle at The Hollywood Bowl and then Family Circus.

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Dog The Bounty Hunter is here to solve the Gabby Petito murder! Brady heads to New England to settle some business and there is a new device which detects if you’re high (use promo code Doug Benson). Also Brett Kavanaugh has Covid and a gay hairdresser has jumped ship.

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This week Mike is in Montana and Greg is in CT and there are a lot of dead bodies in the news. The live ones include a groping Chris Cuomo, a divorced Elon Musk, a gun wielding woman who wants her Chipotle and Cpt Kirk is going back to space.

Follow Mike Gibbons on Instagram @GibbonsTime 

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Our 1st LIVE PODCAST! From the stage of the Sacramento Punchline we bring you a loving tribute to Norm MacDonald, discuss Bill Cosby and Ellen’s comebacks and audience members give us local news stories from SAC Town.

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Comedians in the news this week: John Mulaney, Patton Oswalt, Steve Martin, and some shit Greg talked about Marc Maron that we edited out. Texas promises to stop ALL rape and a Florida Man story that hits the trifecta: nudity, drunkenness and police activity. Oh yeah, and a golf cart.

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A grown man sues his parents for throwing out his porn, a redneck almost kidnaps his kids principal for making the child wear a mask, and we pay our respects to 2 gentlemen who crashed while in the back of a self driving Tesla. RIP Leland.

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We open with a Sturgis update and talk about a principal who’s been fired for telling a joke about a crustacean. Mike raves about Billie Eilish's new album and Greg buries KISS. One of our friends got herpes.

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From Mike's favorite show "Dave," Andrew Santino calls in and riffs on the news. Sturgis update: less DUIs, more STDs. Also, an 84 year old man robs a bank in AZ. He must have thought he was in FL. 

Follow Andrew Santino on Twitter @CheetoSantino

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This week’s Florida Man is the entire state of Florida, and aging bikers are already stacking up in the hospitals of Sturgis, SD. Greg defends New York’s status as the greatest city in the world, and Mike tries to bleep out some inappropriate content.

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Sturgis is back! Motorcycle festival has not yet begun and they’re crashing their bikes already. Greg beams in from NY so we give a serenade to the Big Apple and take a giant shit on San Diego. We also cover the man taped to a Frontier Airline seat and FLA cop who moonlights as a clown names PoPo.

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As each country reinforces stereotypes about themselves in Tokyo, we throw Billy Joel under the bus for his lyrics (Bernie Taupin gets the week off). Lot of tears shed for ScarJo and it’s Greg and Erin’s anniversary!

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Mike comes down on Bernie Taupin. Plus, COVID sniffing dogs, McConaughey running for Governor of TX, QAnon fights for Britney, and this week’s Emmy nominations.

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Mike reviews the Rogan/Chappelle/ Segura/ show in Vegas and reveals his new fixation on teen dramas. Giant Pandas are back! Will they now be hunted? Lot of love to fellow comics today. Positive Energy!

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Mike Zooms in from NY to talk about Cosby’s new standup tour dates, a Florida Man skulled by a medieval Axe and misadventures with Andy Dick.

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Mike hits Greg with a quiz on Cancel Culture, John McAfee didn’t kill himself and Jeff Keane appears to have not tried very hard on Family Circus this week.

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Top story: Our daughters graduated high school together this week! Just as important, however, a nun with a gambling habit, topless photos of Elliot Page and a football coach in OH forces a Jewish kid to eat pork. 

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Obama talks about UFO’s while a 9 yr old girl steals the family car. Listeners submit their own captions for Family Circus and fan mail from a Danish boarding school proves the show has a long reach!

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Mike joins TikTok, a Starbucks barista a is fired for mocking a drink and Greg invites The Church of Scientology to kill his dog.

Follow Mike Gibbons on Twitter @GibbonsTime

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Greg Zooms in from NYC while a FLA gator chases fat people through a Wendy’s parking lot. Someone pays Bezos $3M for 11 minutes in a space ship with him. Meanwhile you can spend 11 minutes with Mike in his closet for $37 cash.

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Chrissy Teigen and Ellen getting cancelled. Rough week for women, but none of their weeks were as bad as the woman in NC (NOT FLA!) who lit herself on fire while hoarding gasoline.

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