Coaching for Leaders

Teams are different and unique

• Purpose
• Structure
• Stage of Development
• Membership
• Leadership

When you are trying to figure out how to lead a team, 2 models can be very helpful.

Types of Teams

• Interdependence degree of cooperation and coordination
  • Number of meetings
  • Content of meetings
  • Goals —team vs. individual
  • Reward team vs. individual
• Expertise
  • Training plan

Resources

• The I in Team* by Susan Gerke
• Go Team* by Susan Gerke and David Hutchens

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Here’s a link to the Lean Fighter article John mentioned about some of the work he contributed to at Boeing

John mentioned the learning organization that was articulated by Peter Senge. This model was made popular in Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline*, which is a must-read for leaders and also appears on my Top 10 books for leaders list.

“The servant-leader is servant first. It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, and serve first. The conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.” -Robert Greenleaf

“Enthusiasm is the little recognized secret of success.” -Dale Carnegie

A recent article from the Spokesman-Review on the new utility bill payment system that John spoke of on the show.

What’s one shift you could make that would make you more like a servant leader?

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• Founder, Conant Leadership (Facebook) (Twitter)
• Former CEO, Campbell Soup and President of Nabisco
• Author with Mette Norgaard of the New York Time Bestseller TouchPoints: Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments*

“The More I Learn About the Outside World, The More Effective I Am With The Inside World.” -Doug Conant

Doug’s TouchPoint framework

• Ask first, “How can I help?”
• 1. Listen intently to what’s said and not said
• 2. Frame the issue so you understand the context in which the person is looking for your help
• 3. Help them advance the agenda
• Ask at the end, “How did it go?”

Doug mentioned the book Talent is Overrarted by Geoff Colvin*

Check out these two articles from Doug

• Turn Your Next Interruption Into An Opportunity
• What Losing My Job Taught Me About Leading

Doug’s book is TouchPoints:Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments*

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Question from Jordan
I am a young manager (mid-20’s). My job requires training large amounts of staff on software and technology. Many of the staff are twice my age, and tend to ignore me when giving trainings. I’m, not sure if this is because of my age, or because I have only been with the organization for 5 years, and many of  them have been here for 20+. Or perhaps it is because of the subject matter of the trainings? Do you have any suggestions on how to get through to them?

• Is it content or credibility?
• Seven Principles for Leading People Older Than You [episode #59]
• Seek out people who are giving you objections and find out how to best serve them.
• Dave mentioned How To Win Friends And Influence People*
• Lynda.com* is a good solution for learning popular software online at your pace
• Adobe Captivate is a good option for creating your own simulations
• Screenflow for the Mac is great for screencasting
• Camtasia is another option

2nd Question from Jordan
Do you have any suggestions on conferences one can go to, to expand skills on leadership and coaching?

• Bonni says a conference is a place to build a network, generate new ideas, and learn about new products
• Dale Carnegie Training provides a great resource for changing behavior, which is a great way to get better and leadership and coaching

Question from Kris
I am a manager in a large company and managing a global transformation programme. I am at a cross roads and my development plan includes getting more training on the following: (a) Leadership of global teams (physical and virtual) and (b) Strategic planning and organizational development (how does one define and develop a global organization, roles, numbers of people, strategy, governance, teams, processes, etc) to
implement a global transformation programme. Do you have recommendations on books, education or coaches for my further development?

• Good to Great* by Jim Collins
• Execution* by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan
• The Fifth Discipline* by Peter Senge
• Coaches: Bill Bliss, Tom Henschel, Pam Fox Rollin but find someone who’s done what you’ve done and what they’re reading

Question from Suzie
Audio comment

• If you are a nurse or know one, check out OneLoveforNurses.com
• Jane Hart publishes the Top 100 Tools for Learning
• Poll Everywhere is used by Bonni in her classroom

Question from Andres
In a world of free online courses and MOOCS (Massive Open Online Course); what type of course would you be willing to pay for? What type of content/delivery would definitely be worth spending your (not your employer’s) money on?

• Bonni mentioned attending a class from Linda Krall on creativity
• Dave spoke about Michael Hyatt’s class of 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever

Question from Elmer
How do you make training accessible to the newest employee while bringing something to the table for the most experienced manager? I usually try to leave the conversation open for the subject matter experts in the room to share their knowledge (within reason and on topic) so there is a feeling of collaboration and not speaking down to them in those situations. Creating a course that is comprehensive is difficult.

• Dave suggests segmenting the training, if possible.
• How can you get the subject matter experts engaged in a leadership capacity in the classroom?
• Use a problem-based or case study approach. This engages the more knowledgable people in the room.

2nd Question from Elmer
One of our bosses/stake holders wants us to make our classes archiveable or semi-future proofed so we do not have to constantly go back and re-teach the classes one on one. What are some of the best ways to do that?

• “If the recording of the class was the equivalent to being there, then why are you holding the class in the first place?” -Bonni
• Avoid the temptation of just recording a live class and putting it online.
• Check out Michael Sandel’s Justice class at Harvard that we mentioned (he also has a great book by the same name).
• Articulate has products for online learning
• Susan Gerke has training modules for teams called GO Team

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While many things contribute to happiness, one key attitude shift in how we talk and think about our activities will help us be much happier.

• “Happiness isn’t doing what you like, it’s liking what you do.” -Quote on my dad’s desk

• Vance Caesar was one of my professors in graduate school.
  • He wrote The High Achiever’s Guide To Happiness*
  • Vance said, “Create more ‘gets to’s’ than ‘got to’s”

• Do you have more “get to’s” than “got to’s?”
  • Do you have to give someone feedback today, or do you get to?
  • Do you have to give a presentation today, or do you get to?
  • Do you have to resolve a conflict today, or do you get to?
  • Do you have to go to work today, or do you get to?

• The secret to happiness is having more “gets to’s” than “got to’s”

What will you do this week to turn a “got to” into a “get to?”

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What is a personal brand?

• Personal brand is who a person is from the inside out.
• It’s not about external looks – that is personal image (also important, but different).

1. Values

• Knowing our values can provide clarity on the kind of work and work environment we choose.
• To help get clarity on your values, you may wish to utilize Dave’s values exercise at this link.
• Consider experiences in your life that really brought you joy – what values show up?
• For more on values, check out Coaching for Leaders episode 20.

2. Vision

• It’s about where you are now and where you wish to go.
• Create a target for yourself by defining it visually or in writing.
• “You can’t hit a target you don’t even have.” -Zig Ziglar
• For a journaling app, check out Day One.
• For more on vision, check out Coaching for Leaders episode 22.

3. Purpose

• Vision is where your head is and purpose is how you get there.
• Vision is the future and purpose is what’s happening in the present.
• Dave spoke about being a “curator of wisdom about people.”
• Without purpose, we tend to get caught up in other people’s lives and lose our own way.

4. Authenticity

• Personal brand is about bringing out the best of who you are.
• Borrow wisdom from others, but make it your own.

5. Perception

• We define our world and other people by our perceptions.
• The language we use can change how people perceive us.
• Heather and Dave both mentioned that they struggled most with this element.

What action will you take enhance one of these five elements of your personal brand?

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Author, Always On, Never Done: Don’t Blame The Smartphone

• Center for Creative Leadership works to help improve leadership.
• Many people said that staying so connected really started when they received their smartphone.
• On average, people in the survey were connected to the workplace 72 hours a week, or 13.5 hours a day.
  • Personal tasks done during the workday were accounted for in the research (even people that don’t work these kind of hours still do personal tasks at work)

• One of the biggest complaints was the number of meetings required in organizations.
  • A major issue is being invited to meetings and then people realizing that they weren’t really needed.
  • Setting clear agendas is key.
  • Be explicit why each person is needed.

• Another major complaint was too many people making decisions.
  • Be explicit about who has decision-making authority and who needs to be checked with.

• The intentional use of ambiguity as a management tool is also a challenge.
  • Sometimes people don’t make a decision so they don’t have responsibility for it, so they leave it in ambiguity.
  • Clear agendas and outcomes help prevent this.
  • This leads to crisis mode later on.

• What Jennifer does differently because of this research
  • She still answers emails early in the morning and late at night.
  • Setting better boundaries about having done enough work today.
  • Being very specific on agendas for meetings.
  • She turns down a lot of meetings that aren’t as high value as the other things she needs to be doing.
  • Check out the Center for Creative Leadership for more resources
  • Also see episode #128, Four Practices For Leading An Effective Meeting

  What have you seen a leader do to encourage quality connections to the workplace?

  Discover More

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

First question from Khrist and a few suggestions from us:

• Recognize your hot buttons or trigger point
• Avoid handling things in the midst of anger and emotion, if you can avoid them (for example, don’t send emails when angry)
• Instead, write out your thoughts just for yourself
• Get input from others who are not as close to the situation
• Start with questions and not accusations/assumptions
• Sometimes a bit of expressed anger or frustration is OK, assuming it is genuine
• Consider what you are really able to do or not do
• Give yourself grace too – none of us are perfect at handling these situations
• In fact, we discover the most from imperfect situations
• Book recommendation: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown*
• Book recommendation: Difficult Conversations*
• Video recommendation: Brene Brown’s first and second TED talks
• Past podcast recommendation: How to Lead When Someone is Driving You Nuts [episode #48]

Second question from Huzefa and a few suggestions from us:

• What is it you want about being an entrepreneur and could you achieve it without the risk?
• Three elements you’d need to be successful:
  • Skill in the field
  • Passion for the work
  • Market of customers who will pay what you are worth
• Could you do a test-run or two on a small client project that would prove your model and lessen risk?
• Book recommendation: Empowered manager by Peter Block*
• Book recommendation: Business Model Generation*
• Book recommendation: Business Plan In A Day by Rhonda Abrams*

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What do you do when you’re the target of criticism? Here are the two kinds of critics that show up at work in the workplace and also how to address them.

• It all comes back to Mathnet
• Two kinds of critics
  • The bully
  • The champion
• Why you need your critics
  • Hawthorne studies (Harvard article) (Economist article)
  • Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79) with Michelle Smith of O.C. Tanner
  • “Our chief want in life is someone who will make us do what we can.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Actions you can take
  • Listen and be calm (useful for both the bully and the champion)
    • Our urge is to become defensive
    • It may put up barriers to hearing something of value
    • If the criticism is unwarranted, you’re the one keeping your cool (unless the other party is factually wrong in a public forum)
    • If the other party is factually wrong in public, make your case confidently and professionally
  • Set aside the tone or personal attack (useful for both the bully and the champion)
    • Is there value in what the person is saying, beyond the tone?
    • Ask a more independent party to analyze it for you.
  • Ask for feedback and criticism (useful with the champion)
    • “Be your own toughest critic. Demand excellent performance from yourself and your leadership will thrive in the face of adversity.” –Doug Conant
    • This worked for me in my first full-time job
    • Take advice of Tom Henschel for episode #107
      • Ask often
      • Say thank you or can you help me understand
      • Do something with it or don’t
  • Embrace the criticism and make change (useful for both the bully and the champion)
    • Realize that a lot of people use criticism as a primary tool for development
    • Take one suggestion this week to actually put into action
  • Love your enemy (useful with the bully, and sometimes the champion)
    • Find something about them you can love
    • Feel sorry for them
    • Be glad you’re not married to them
• What if your boss is the bully?
  • Try one or more things above that you think might help
  • Are you getting more than you’re giving?
  • If not, work towards another opportunity
  • Don’t throw them under the bus on the way out the door
    • To Those Who Want Great Careers: Don’t Do What This Guy Did
• Other episodes that might help
  • Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program (episode #79)
  • Ten Ways To Pick Yourself Up When You’re Beaten Down (episode #85)
  • Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback (episode #107)
• Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” -William Shakespeare

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“Knowledge management is a set of processes, individually constructed, to help each of us make sense of our world and work more effectively.” –Harold Jarche

Capture

• Capturing through the stream
  • Twitter
  • Some social media
  • Live TV
  • Live radio
• Capturing through subscriptions
  • Email updates and newsletters
  • Podcasts
  • RSS via services like Feedly.com

Curate

• Bonni uses Delicious (link to her library)
• Dave uses Pinboard (link to his library)
• Evernote
• Pocket
• Kindle App
  • Snippefy app (useful to export notes and highlights from Kindle)
• Diigo

Create

• Social media postings
• Conversation starters
• Classroom/meeting starters
• Writing
  • Bonni’s blog is TeachingInHigherEd.com
• How would you like to get info from Dave?

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If you do these four things with consistency at the meetings you lead, you’ll get vastly better results from the investment you are making in meeting time.

Worst offenses

• Trying to come up with a topic to talk about
• Let’s share what’s going on (without any context for how/why)
• Information sharing only
• No agenda
• Too many agenda items
• People on devices
• Too many meetings total

Good news! Many of us have almost complete control over how we run meetings as leaders

• Is it for brainstorming, training that needs to be done in person, or making a decision? Yes, have the meeting.
• Is it for sharing of information? No, find a better way to get the information to people.
• Consider the real cost of staff time

• What do we do when we get off task?
• How will we capture what is decided and/or next actions?
• What rules will we have around the use of technology during meetings?
• Is PowerPoint needed?

• If the meeting discussion drifts, call attention to it and decide on addressing or tabling
• Begin and end on time (considering starting a bit after the hour or ending a bit early)

• Follow-up with documentation shortly thereafter
• Meeting notes – mindmapping (starting point) and outlining (finishing point). I use MindNode and OmniOutliner, respectively.

What’s a best practice you’ve discovered for leading effective meetings?

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Have you considered telling the people you lead about the mistakes you’ve made? On this episode, why you lead better when you share your mistakes.

“Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.” -Dale Carnegie

Here are the benefits to talking about your mistakes with others:

1. You get people’s attention.
2. You open the door for people to be more willing to accept coaching.
3. You give people a realistic path of what it looks like to learn how to lead.
4. It reminds you what it was like to learn that skill in the first place.
5. It keeps you humble.

Two words of caution:

1. Make sure you share real mistakes you’ve made.
2. Sadly, not every organization values this kind of transparency. Be smart about the politics where you are.

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Here’s some advice that many of us have heard when we starting giving presentations or speeches for the first time:

“Tell ’em what you’re going to tell ’em, tell ’em, tell ’em what you told ’em.”

That’s lousy advice. Here’s how to do better.

Four great and interesting speeches, with varying levels of importance:

• Honoring the dead – The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln
• Civil rights – I Have A Dream by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
• A successful product launch – The iPhone Announcement by Steve Jobs
• Human personality – The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain

Three commonalities that these four very different “pitches” share. They all:

• Tell a story of the problem
• Articulate a vision
• Inspire action

Resources you may wish to investigate:

• The Quick and Easy Way To Effective Speaking* by Dale Carnegie
• Resonate: Present Visual Stories That Transform Audiences* by Nancy Duarte
• SPIN Selling* by Neil Rackham

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

1. Question about leading during a school closing from Jermaine

• We recommended episode #55 with Carol Taylor on How To Lead In A Crisis.

2. Question about giving feedback from Sue

3. Question about prioritizing emails and voice mail from Matt

• Dave’s task management system: OmniFocus
• Bonni’s task management system: Remember The Milk
• VIP contacts and flagging on iOS7 for the iPhone and iPad: How To See Important Messages in iOS7 Mail from The Mac Observer
• Mailbox for iPhone
• Sanebox.com
• We recommended episode #109 on Seven Online Tools That Will Help You Do Your Best Work.
• We recommended episode #119 with David Sparks on How To Get Control Of Your Email.

4. Question about small tasks and large tasks from Catherine

5. Question about hiring the right person for a non-profit

• Check on episodes #89 and #90, both on StrengthsFinder with Steve Dosier

What’s one new practice you’ll start with your time management this week?

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Bonni and I discussed three steps for getting what you most want out of conflict:

1. Recognize our tendency to focus on ourselves being right and the other party being wrong.
2. Getting clear on the feeling factor: becoming aware of our own feelings and learning to express them accurately to another party
3. Know your short and long-term goal. “Given what has already transpired that you can’t change, what do you want to have come out of this situation?”

We recommended Difficult Conversations*

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• Ursula Burns (CEO of Xerox) and her thoughts on work-life balance, as reported by the Wall Street Journal
• The Storyline Productivity Schedule (used by John)
• David Allen’s Getting Things Done* (both John and Dave use the philosophy of this system)
• ProductiveFlourishing.com (John uses)
• OmniFocus (Dave’s task management system)
• Drafts (how Dave captures thoughts throughout the day)
• 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever (Dave attended this course over the holidays to set his 2014 goals)
• iCloud calendars (Dave’s family uses this to coordinate family scheduling)
• Boomerang for Gmail (John uses this to delay sending emails)
• Coaching for Leaders episode #70: How Three Words Can Drive Your Development This Year (Dave’s podcast that aired in early 2013 that John and Dave referenced during the show)
• Book recommendation: Give and Take by Adam Grant*
• Book recommendation: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie*
• Book recommendation: The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler* (mentioned by Dave post-interview)
• Follow Dave’s reading on GoodReads.com by visiting CoachingforLeaders.com/goodreads

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Author of the new book Joy, Inc.*
CEO, Menlo Innovations

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A lot of us fear making mistakes, but mistakes are such an important part of the process in moving forward. Today, you’ll hear why this is important even for (and maybe especially for) the most successful thinkers and doers.

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How do I manage my former peers? Should I get an MBA? What can I do to get my organization to train people? I tackle these and more community questions on today’s show.

If you have a question for a future Coaching for Leaders Q&A show, be sure to submit it at coachingforleaders.com/feedback

Resources I mentioned for Kyle’s question on managing peers vs. being buddies:

• My appearance on Firefighter Toolbox to discuss How To Motivate and Lead in the Fire Station
• FirefighterToolbox.com

Resources I mentioned for Kirks’ question on deferred email:

• Sanebox.com
• Mailbox app for iOS devices

Halina’s question on getting an MBA:

• How can I apply my passions for coaching and training? [VIDEO]
• American Society for Training and Development

Jennifer’s question on how to get the training her organization needs:

• Leading Change by John Kotter*

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Author of Email* and Paperless
Co-Host of the Mac Power Users podcast

David and I speak about his new book Email and how we can use more effective workflows and planning to take control of email. You’ll find his perspective helpful for considering actions you can take with your email.

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What is the difference between management and leadership? Do you know? Do you care? Today I welcome executive coach Bill Bliss from Bliss & Associates, Inc. to share his wisdom and experience with us about the distinction.

After listening to this episode, you’ll have a much better understanding of the difference between management and leadership. You’ll also discover when to apply each, given the situation.

Managing vs. Leading document

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I’ve been getting asked a lot in the past few weeks: OK, how do I delegate effectively? On today’s show, how to delegate work and the seven steps you should follow if you want to get the best results for your team and the organization.

I spoke about the broad framework for empowering others back in Episode #53: Get Results From People With Three Simple Steps

Broadly, three areas we need to consider in delegation:

1. Planning/expectation setting (what this show and the seven steps below are about)
2. Regular check-in/accountability
3. Consequences

The Seven Steps of Delegation:

1. What does success look like?

• Time = define the deadline and major milestones
• Cost = staff time, budget, and resources
• Quality = what the customer (internal or external) expects the work to produce

2. Who is the right person?

• Who is the best person for the job?
• What kind of resources do they have?
• Who do you need to develop? Think succession planning.

3. Communicate expectations

• Speak in detail to the three areas from step one: Time, cost, and quality.
• Put it in writing, especially if someone is new or doesn’t have lots of experience.
• The amount of visibility and complexity of the project indicates how much time you’ll spend here.
• Error on the side of too much communication, when in doubt.

4. Staff member plans project

• They need to have ownership over their work.
• Autonomy is key for engagement. See Daniel Pink’s book Drive* for background on why this is critical for engagement.
• If there’s a way it has to be done, get them the training on how that is done.
• If not, let them come to you with the plan.

5. Review the project plan

• Review to see if it meets the three outcomes you established in step #1 and communicated in step #3.
• If there are major gaps, address those.
• If there are minor issues, resist the temptation to make the plan better, unless asked.

6. Establish milestones

• What’s going to make you comfortable as a manager?
• Factors you will want to consider: size, scope, visibility, and experience level of the person.
• Your goal is to hit the sweet spot between micro-management and county-club management.
• No feedback is worse than negative feedback. See episode #79 for a detailed explanation from Michelle Smith from O.C. Tanner on why this is the case.

7. Provide access to resources

• What budget do they need?
• Who do they need to be connected with?
• What internal politics do you need to help them navigate?
• What equipment, rooms, resources, and lab time are necessary?
• At the very least, make them aware of gaps, even if you can’t address or fund every resource.

Download: The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work

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You might be thinking about giving thanks this week, but how’s your overall attitude about gratitude? In this episode, I share five ways you can adjust your attitude to work for the better.

Before we start: Episode #9 is the place to go on how to give positive feedback to others

1. Stop the complaining by receiving praise well

• Don’t discount it
• Don’t argue with it
• Don’t ignore it
• Just say “thank you”

Acknowledge that you are worthy of praise
If you don’t think you are, just try it a couple of times.

Discover the Difference Between Feedback and Criticism

2. Remember the dark days

3. Be intentional about making gratitude a regular practice

• Use a gratitude journal
• Bonni writes a post every day in November on Facebook
• Have more “get tos” than “got tos”
• I’ll be doing a #weekofgratitude this week on my Twitter account

4. What can I do to help someone today

• “The smallest act is worth more than the grandest intention.”

5. Look to those who are examples of gratitude for inspiration

“So many people have helped me to come here to this night. Some of you are here, some are far away and some are even in Heaven. All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. 10 seconds of silence. I’ll watch the time.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they’ve made.” -Fred Rogers in 1997

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Article mentioned by Tony early in the show:
Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue by John Tierney

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Question from Jay:

“I’m on the board of an organization that is run by two partners. One partner is really a people person. The other partner is more of a driver, all business, doesn’t like to fool around in the office. The challenge is one partner really pushes employees to the point where they almost want to quit and then the other partner has to come in and calm things down and smooth out the hard feelings. The drive partner is sometimes also blunt and driven with customers so the other partner has had to patch some things up and in other cases they have lost customers. What can I do?”

• We mentioned Ram Charan’s new book, Boards That Lead*
• We also mentioned his recent interview with the HBR IdeaCast
• Episode #89: The Value of the StrengthsFinder Assessment
• Episode #90: How To Interpret Your StrengthsFinder Results

Question from Monre: [AUDIO]

• We mentioned Episode #59: Seven Principles for Leading People Older Than You
• We mentioned the book Leadership and Self-Deception*

Questions from Julie:

“How do you maintain loyalty and trust when rumors are circulating? How do you keep employees motivated In the face of cutbacks.”

“How do you work with a boss that shows favoritism due to friendships outside the office?”

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Let’s say you want to get into leadership…where do you start? On this episode, how to start leading if you haven’t done it before. I begin with a question from a community member and detail four practical ways that you can get into leadership for the first time.

Listener question from Scott

Leadership = vision, communication, motivation

A leader is someone with followers. We’ll talk more about this in a future show…

1. Follow someone for awhile
2. Solve a problem in the workplace
3. Volunteer in a non-profit
4. Design your own professional development plan

A brief note on why I produce this show

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

We all want to be right, but of course we are sometimes wrong. The advice from Dale Carnegie almost a century ago is as good today as it’s ever been.

Dale Carnegie said almost 100 years ago in How To Win Friends and Influence People, “When you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”

Four truths:

1. My truth
2. Your truth
3. Our shared truth
4. The actual truth

Three benefits you get from admitting you are wrong:

1. You advance immediate progress on organizational goals
2. You drive future innovation and creativity
3. You inspire people to move forward

The best marriages are not without conflict. The best teams and leaders and not without error.

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Once in awhile, someone says something cool that we take throughout our lives to help us lead. On this episode, wise words that can help you influence better. I share four stories that will help you lead more effectively.

First story

• Take small bits of wisdom from others and then, over time, make it your own.

Second story

• Be humble enough to realize what you don’t know and get advice from the experts.

Third story

• When you or others have missed a feedback opportunity, acknowledge it and move forward the correct way.

Fourth story

• Be willing to change directions for a few minutes to make someone’s day.

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Those of us who have responsibility to lead often find ourselves getting overwhelmed with all we need to do. On this episode, I welcome community member and experienced leader Jim Lynch to the show to discuss five sure-fire ways to scale your leadership.

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Technology is great, but only if it helps you work better. On this episode, I share 7 tools that I use and will help you get the most of our your time. I currently use them all daily in my work and I’m excited to share their benefits with you.

My three criteria for selection these tools:

1. Cross-platform
2. Not apps/tools that you already know everything about
3. Clear business model
4. Frees time to invest doing the things you are best at
5. I currently use all of them

Highrise (highrisehq.com)

• The problem this solves: Trying to piece together everything someone has every told you in multiple places.
• Far less complex than traditional CMSs
• Manage relationships
• Track conversations
• Tag people for events, projects, etc.
• Track details (birthdays, family names, etc.)
• Integrates Twitter and LinkedIn
• Basic task management
• Tracks pending customer deals
• Free plan up to 250 contacts / 30-day free trial
• What will this help you do? Get stuff out of your head and manage lots of different relationships.

Basecamp (basecamp.com)

• The problem this solves: Re-doing the same work again and again and checking in to see if people have done stuff.
• Project management tracking
• Templates for projects
• Integration with a team
• No free version, but a 60-day free trial (no credit card), $20/month

TimeTrade (timetrade.com)

• The problem this solves: Spending countless hours going back and forth with people on times to schedule with you.
• You give TimeTrade calendar access (Outlook, Calendar, Google calendar) and it looks for free spots
• You have a link and people can schedule and cancel automatically
• Great for people who are outside your organization and don’t want to have any detailed access to your calendar
• Appointments show up automatically in calendar and by email
• One downside – you need to watch what is free in your calendar
• Free version is available, but I use the $49/year version

Lift (lift.do)

• The problem this solves: Keeps you on track for the daily habits that are important to you.
• Set habits in the system
• Track when you complete them
• Follow others and encourage others and get encouragement in return
• Example: Wake up at 5am
• It sends you little motivators by email on alerts on your phone
• This version is entirely free
• See screenshot below from my iPhone

Instapaper (instapaper.com)

• The problem this solves: Cool articles on the web distracting you from getting your work done
• Set up an account and install an extension in your browser
• See something you like? Hit the button on your browser and it saves it into your account.
• Read it later on the device you want to use. I use the Instapaper app on my iPad.
• I can then send it other places.
• Instapaper account is free, but the apps are a few dollars, depending on the device you use. Or, you can read on the web.
• Pocket is a another alternative, but I’m not clear on their business model.

Buffer (bufferapp.com)

• The problem this solves: Staying engaged on social media without having to be on social media all the time
• One of my goals this year – show up more online. But how, with limited time?
• Fill your queue with relevant things for the people who follow you
• Buffer will post them on your behalf at regular intervals
• Great way to feature the work of others – I do this especially with Twitter
• Free version available, but I use $10/month version

1Password (1password.com)

• The problem this solves: Not having to track all those passwords in your life and also limiting the ability of hackers to get access to your life
• Create unique passwords for every site you visit online
• Keep them all in one place, protected by a master password
• Login automatically from your browser
• Syncs across devices using Dropbox or iCloud
• Massive time saver and fantastic peace of mind
• Just this week, Adobe announced they had a breach of accounts
• $40-$80 depending on the version you buy

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On this episode, how to improve your grammar and usage so you can communicate effectively in writing…and who better to teach us than Grammar Girl.

Do you remember what the raven is for?

Resources from Grammar Girl

• Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary
• Dictionary.com
• Garner’s Modern American Usage [affiliate link]
• Google Books Ngram
• The Grammar Devotional [affiliate link]
• Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing [affiliate link]

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Many of us are told time and time again in our careers that we should be asking for feedback from the people we work with and manage. However, a lot of us mess it up. On today’s show, 3 steps to soliciting feedback from Tom Henschel, executive coach and host of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast.

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• You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
• Identify 50 people you want to build relationships with.
• The most meaningful relationships get beyond industry talking points and connect with someone at a personal level.

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In Greek mythology, Mentor was a friend of Odysseus and was placed in charge of his son Telemachus when Odysseus left for war.

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary calls a mentor, “A trusted counselor or guide.”

What do you want to get from mentoring?

• Probably what you aren’t good at (or at least not yet)
• Plus, it’s something that’s important for you to get better at

Advance planning

• Who do you know who’s good at that?
• Are there multiple people?
• You don’t have to know them today
• Your greatest mentors will never expect anything
• Identify specifically how someone can help and begin there
• Make a mind map of the people who could help
• Create a board of directors

Getting Started

• Start off with a specific question
• Know that not everyone will respond or won’t be willing to help
• Wait on asking someone to “be a mentor”
  • Everyone has a different context for this
  • It could seem like a huge commitment
  • It’s awkward if they don’t want to make that committment

Find a way to connect regularly

• This is where proximity and formal programs can help
• Make a point to connect regularly
• It’s great to be influenced by those that you don’t speak with regularly, but find people you will see

Be willing to ask for help

• Get out of the “asking for help is a weakness” mentality

What’s something in front of you right now that a new perspective would be helpful with? My challenge to you is to go out and identify a person and approach them with a specific question and ask advice. Remember, you don’t have to take the advice. If they don’t respond, identify a second person.

Past shows that might also be helpful to you on the topic of mentoring:

• Episode #61: How to Start A Mentoring Program with guest Stella Cowan
• Episode #63: Practical Advice for Mentoring with guest Kurt Allebach

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It’s a busy time of the year for many of us and perhaps you’re struggling with overwhelm recently – or maybe you feel out of control already. On today’s show, you’ll discover how to maintain control when completely overwhelmed.

Know what’s important

Get it all out of your head

• • Drafts App
  • OmniFocus
  • Remember the Milk
  • Evernote
  • Moleskine notebooks

Plan the work and work the plan

Decide in advance to let some balls drop

Keep sleeping

Get up one hour earlier

Be flexible

Have block time for yourself and family

Do something kind for someone else

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Inside the California Institution for Women, the first inmate initiated and led group in U.S. prison history, shatters the misconceptions of domestic violence.

Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA) was created in 1989 to help women inside prison break the silence about abuse and learn more about what they needed to do to help others stop the cycle of violence.

Director Olivia Klaus joins me to discuss how she influenced social change throughout the State of California through her film, Sin by Silence.

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Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Are you taking on a role as a new manager? Do you know what to say in your first conversations with members of the team? Many new managers recognize the importance of early conversation with the people they will manage, but they don’t always know how to start those conversations. In this episode, I welcome back Bonni to review the seven questions to ask the people you’ll be managing.

1. How did you come to work here?
2. Tell me what you do for the team?
3. What’s working on the team? What isn’t?
4. How does this job fit (or not) into your career objectives?
5. What keeps you busy outside of work? (And ask it exactly that way).
6. What advice do you have for me on how to best work with you?
7. If I ever have an issue with something you’re doing, what’s the best way to tell you?

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Do you have a LinkedIn profile? Is it up to date? Do you get any benefit from it? If not, on today’s show you’ll learn how to get the most from LinkedIn to help you network, build your brand, and influence the world. I welcome back Donna Schilder to share her expertise on LinkedIn to help us maximize the use of this network.

Reach out to Donna and her coaching team directly at (562) 685-5032.

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

It’s the two year anniversary of the show! On this episode, I turn the microphone to you and share how the community has benefitted from this show over 100 episodes. If you’re checking out the show for the first time, it’s also a great way to discover which past episodes have been most valuable to others.

Thank you to the following community members for your contribution to this show:

Ben Krueger

• Episode 98: Five Rules For Your New Leadership Role
• 42 Rules for Your New Leadership Role by Pam Fox Rollin

Oliver Pelayo

• Episode 70: How 3 Words Can Drive Your Development This Year

Steve Chase

• Three Ways To Handle a Sudden Change of Plans
• Episode 44: Susan Cain on The Power of Introverts
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a Word That Can’t Stop Talking

DebB Bixler

• Episode 42: How To Gain Insight Into Personality
• Also see episodes 43, 44, 45, 46, & 47
• Episode 89: The Value of the StrengthsFinder Assessment
• Episode 90: How to Interpret Your StrengthsFinder Results

Rick Gray

• Episode 55: How to Lead in a Crisis

Bhaskar Natarajan

Duke Whitman

Hakim Laukkoski

• Episode 91: Mark Goulston on How to Listen When Someone Is Venting
• Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In by Mark Goulston and John Ullmen

Carolye Asfahl

• Episode 79: Benefits You Get From A Recognition Program
• Episode 80: Ten Steps To Create A Recognition Program

Kirk Morrison

Suzie Farthing

• Episode 76: How To Handle People Who Smell
• Dave’s appearance on One Love for Nurses Episode 19: How To Influence Without Authority

Tiago Mota Miranda

• Episode 2: How To Start Coaching Someone
• Episode 4: What Is Coaching and Why It’s Different From Other Development Tools

Carmel Purdey

Mohammad Al-Khalifa

• Episode 59: Seven Principles for Leading People Older Than You

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One of the most common times that we seek to reinvent ourselves in during a time of great change. While we all like to control change, we also know that sometimes big change comes when we least expect it. Today I welcome colleague and friend Nancy Santarelli from Dale Carnegie of Southern Los Angeles to share her she has navigating major changes in her career in the past decade.

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Author, 42 Rules For Your New Leadership Role
Principal & Executive Coach, IdeaShape

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I received a lot of notes recently from community members who are using the term “reinventing themselves” to describe their current career activities. Many of us reach points in our careers where we decide to look inward to determine if we’re on the path that’s right for us. In this show, I speak with Donna Schilder, an expert career coach, on three things that you can get more clarity on how to reinvent your career.

Access Donna’s Desired Work Characteristics Assessment and reach out to Donna and her coaching team directly at (562) 685-5032.

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Most of us will either ask to or be called upon to roll out a new initiative sometime in our careers. My guest Christina Kull Martens and her team successfully launched the greeNG initiative at the Northrop Grumman Corporation. On this episode, you’ll learn how they did it.

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The more successful we become, the more likely we will get distracted by other people and priorities. Every effective leader learns how to manage distractions so they can be more productive. Lynn and Michael bring their expertise to help us discover 10 things we can do to become more productive.

To a knowledge worker, productivity means effectiveness. It’s time to shed the idea that creative, innovative, and evolving work fits neatly into a tightly controlled assembly lined approach. Today’s work is collaborative, often iterative and needs coordination in real time in order to meet the demands of the market. It is fast paced, ever evolving and 24/7/365. Now it’s about doing the right work at the right time in the best way. Are you overwhelmed yet?

With so many things pulling you in multiple and competing directions, it is critical to develop focus. It’s easier said than done, but here are 10 practical ways to eliminate distractions and really focus on getting the outcomes your business and you must deliver.

1. Turn off self-interrupting technologies. Silence the ding of email/text/IM/Social media notifications.
2. Corral your communications. Email is not the only communication channel in town. Know what channels are available to you and use the best tool for the job. For example, email is great for handing off information that is not time sensitive. A phone call is better for developing a relationship and understanding. A live meeting may be better for decision making and consensus building.
3. Use space as a tool. Everyone needs a place to do focus work. Close your office door. Go to another location – on or off- site. In an open office environment, put on headphones to indicate you are not to be disturbed.
4. Close loops. Once you start a task, take it through to a natural conclusion. If you open an email, read it, decide what to do with it and do it. If a project is closed, write the after action report and put all papers back into the file and file it. If you make a promise to someone, write it down and note on your calendar when to follow up.
5. Honor commitments to yourself, as much as you honor them with others. Block the time. After all, they pay you to work. Schedule your work first and then allow others to schedule work with you.
6. Know where you are at all times. Use lists, calendars, spreadsheets or other thinking tools to know what work you (or your group) need to do. It is critical for balancing workload to be able to see both the short term and the long term view of your work commitments at any moment.
7. Multi-tasking is a myth. You may be able to do it, but it will take you 30–100% more time. It lowers quality of work, speed of delivery, and may be dangerous.
8. Build quiet time and play into your day. After all, knowledge workers are paid to think. Reflect, absorb, and solve problems. If you are mentally tired, take a break!
9. Roll with the punches. Work is messy. It never goes exactly to plan. Change your expectations to meet reality. Know how to stop, start, and redirect tasks to keep focus and reach goals.
10. Sharpen your skills saw. Technologies are constantly evolving. Schedule the time to learn new ways of working.

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You simply can’t manage without the appropriate amount of authority. In this show, I walk you through six things you can do if you find yourself in this situation. In addition, this is a good check-point for ourselves as leaders to ensure we aren’t putting others into this situation.

The most important thing to know? You can’t manage without authority.

1. What’s likely the scenario?

• Poor communication?
• Organizational politics?
• Discomfort area of the leader?
• Is it you? Do you really need authority in this area?

2. Watch and record what happens (or anticipate what could happen).

3. Connect your objectives and evidence to the bottom-line or organizational mission

• Almost always there is a cost factor
• What does it keep you from being able to do?
• Speaks to the logical minds of many leaders (task-oriented, people-oriented)

4. Make the request

• Be clear on the problem you are trying to solve and what you need
• Have a plan (timeline, steps, etc.)
• Show evidence that you have a plan
• Be prepared to get something different than you asked for – and ask yourself if it still solves the problem?

5. If necessary, ask to be removed from that project/responsibility

6. If all else fails, find a new position or employer

Here’s a quick check-in for all of us: Are we putting anyone into this situation right now?

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Gary Takacs has been helping dentists become better business leaders for virtually his entire career. He is an expert in professional practice management and helps dentists to learn how to grow and develop their business and leadership skills so they can better serve patients and grow their practices. Gary is also the host of The Thriving Dentist podcast.

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Leadership is often most challenging when the path forward is not clear. In this week’s episode, I talk withcBarry Schwartz, author of the book Practical Wisdom: The Right Way To Do the Right Thing to help us discover how we can make better decisions as leaders.

Here are Barry’s TED Talks:

• Our Loss Of Wisdom
• Using Our Practical Wisdom
• The Paradox Of Choice

Barry also mentioned the book The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel

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Check out Mark’s article on this same topic on the Harvard Business Review blog

Three three-step process that Mark recommended:

1. What are you most frustrated about?
2. What are you most angry about?
3. What are you really worried about?

Here are links to Mark’s books:

• Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In
• Just Listen

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On episode #89, I welcomed Steve Dosier, a StrengthsFinder expert formerly of Gallup and now with Blue Star Intel, to teach us about the history of CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder). This week, he takes Bonni and I through our StrengthsFinder 2.0 results so you can learn more about the value of utilizing your CliftonStrengths report.

Questions Steve asked of us:

Individual Questions

• How closely do you feel your Top–5 Strengths match you?
• What do you agree strongly with?
• Are there any areas that don’t quite sound like you?

Relationship Questions

• What Strengths do you feel you both connect upon and why?
• What Strengths do you find complimentary to your own and why?
• How do you leverage each other’s Strengths to get the best from each other? (You get the best of me when…)
• I feel this Strength helps me provide a unique contribution to our relationship… (My contribution to this relationship is….)
• Now that you know each other’s Strengths as defined by the Clifton StrengthsFinder Report, what do you better understand and appreciate about each other? (Was there a point of conflict or disagreement that StrengthsFinder has helped you better understand and manage?)

Bonni’s Strengths:

• Relator
• Achiever
• Connectedness
• Futuristic
• Strategic

Dave’s Strengths (link to Dave’s report):

• Futuristic
• Relator
• Intellection
• Learner
• Responsibility

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CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) is one of the most popular instruments utilized in corporate training and coaching programs. In this episode, I welcome Steve Dosier, a StrengthsFinder expert formerly of Gallup and now with Blue Star Intel, to teach us about the history of CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) and help us discover how we can get the most value from the CliftonStrengths assessment.

Here are some of the resources we discussed during the show:

• StrengthsFinder 2.0 book* (a code is included in this book for the instrument)
• Now Discover Your Strengths* (also includes assessment)
• Living with Your Strengths book (also includes assessment)
• StrengthsFinder training for individuals and teams* (use code CFL10 for a 10% tuition discount)
• You can purchase a code ala carte to take the StrengthsFinder assessment at this link without purchasing the book.

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