TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke is dying of embarrassment over something he wrote and can't take back. However, he is delighted over some archive tape he found of Martin Short teasing David Letterman.

Andrew had the strangest experience trying to buy a computer on Aurora Avenue yesterday. And Luke learns that the hottest steakhouse in Brazil is…Outback Steakhouse?

Luke is having a heck of a time trying to get Helen, Sandy and Jeannie ship a truckload of TBTL supplies to his parents house. He also had a heck of a time at the car dealership yesterday.

Luke and Andrew each bought special doohickeys this week to help them reclaim their analogue pasts. Plus, Megan Markle's dalliance with podcasting might have been even less authentic than we thought.

Andrew has important work emails to send, but is worried about sending them on a holiday. Luke had a wonderful Father's Day during which he tried so damn hard not to cry.

Luke finally watched My Dinner with Andre last night and offers his long-overdue film review. He also recaps the horrible feeling of almost losing his cat, Bubbles, the other day.

Luke has a quibble with the organizers of an event he's MCing, and he worries that his complaint makes him unlovable. Andrew has a quibble with the way Seattle measures his water usage, and he worries that his complaint makes the show unlistenable.

Andrew has a story that isn't so much about toilets, but about the human condition, and how people can change. But it's also about toilets. Plus, beleaguered Oakland A's fans stage a "reverse boycott" that is both uplifting and saddening.

Luke and Andrew announce the details for the upcoming 4000th episode, even though they were apparently the last to know that tickets are already on sale. They also watch an old episode of Super Password in honor of Pat Sajak retiring from Wheel of Fortune.

Click here to purchase your tickets to TBTL's 4000th episode live at Seattle's Neptune Theater, Saturday, July 29th!

Luke and Andrew discuss laundry baskets, beer koozies, and public radio promotion schedules. That's it. That's the show.

The new movie about Flamin' Hot Cheetos is getting some good reviews. The problem is, it's all based on lies.

A lawyer is in trouble for using ChatGPT to create legal documents that were filled with made-up facts, and the US Supreme Court is siding with Jack Daniels in a case over a poop-themed dog toy.

Luke's mom was really cutting it up on the family text chain today. Luke and Andrew also discuss a fascinating (14-page!) story about the past, present and possible future of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Photo of Guinness Book of World Records by goodfriendo, licensed under CreativeCommons.

Luke and Andrew weigh-in on Apple's latest doohickey, which the company unveiled this week. Plus, listeners provide some amazing info on the foul ball Luke grabbed in the Kingdome as a youth.

When a New York Times reporter sits down to interview Luke and Andrew's favorite comedian Tim Robinson, things go about as smoothly as you'd expect. (Which is to say, not smoothly at all. But it's super interesting!)

Genevieve joins the show to discuss her love of advice columns and to judge some recent submissions to Ask Amy and Miss Manners. She also talks about her long-forgotten novel and why she eventually cut Andrew's character out of it.

Luke is baffled and incensed over an airport gift shop rule. Andrew is wrestling with a new editorial policy. And a listener helps find a special, U2-related moment in the TBTL archives.

Andrew does exactly what all his years of cybersecurity training have taught him not to do. Plus, Netflix has officially started cracking-down on password sharing.

Andrew heard some of the most compelling radio of his life yesterday, it just happened to be during a Mariners Broadcast. And Luke reports on his boat-towing journey across Washington.

Luke is nervous about his plans to tow his boat across the state today behind a big U-Haul truck.

Luke and Andrew discuss their plans to broadcast the upcoming TBTL-a-Thon from Luke's mom's basement. They also review a list of America's "Most Trusted Brands." And Andrew wants everyone to know that he cleaned his garbage bin yesterday. With a hose.

Luke and Andrew try very hard to talk about the upcoming plans for the TBTL-a-Thon, but boy do they get distracted easily. But the important thing is that you mark your calendars for the 4000th episode, live in Seattle, on Saturday, July 29th. Also, Ron Disantis' own announcement yesterday went even worse than his most vitriolic rivals could have possibly hoped.

Photo from the Cleveland International Air Show 2018 by Erik Drost

A young woman found a couch on the street and documented her process of rehabbing it on Tiktok. Then the criticism started pouring in…including some finger-wagging from NPR. Plus, Andrew learns something very personal about a struggling baseball player, and Luke stumbles on a familiar sound in his Airbnb.

The joke at the beginning of today's show comes to us from Madison Sinclair on TikTok.

Luke is staying at the Airbnb of his dreams…but also his nightmares? Literally? He and Andrew also discuss some truly shady behavior by Frontier Airlines, and a company handing out free TVs that advertise to you 24/7.

Luke and Andrew discuss the gentle art of telling someone they accidentally used an offensive word. Also, Disney's Star Wars hotel is officially closing barely a year after launch, and the Supreme Court sides with a photographer who's photo of Prince was altered by Andy Warhol.

Luke had a major freakout yesterday, and it involved his friend Andrew. They also discuss the "Boot Girls" of Atlanta and Taco Bell's attempt to wrench the term "Taco Tuesday" from the legal grips of its competitor.

Luke is surprised to learn on-air that one of his television stories has been misappropriated and shared on TikTok. Plus, a woman is reunited with a diamond ring she lost 13 years ago, but sadly, no ninja turtles were involved in the rescue.

Molly and Sanden from the hit kid's podcast Brains On! join the show to see if TBTL's youngest listeners can stump them with their questions about the universe.

Luke has become a legitimate hockey fan, and it doesn't have anything to do with gambling. He and Andrew also discuss a man who claims he's living under water for "science."

Ford and other car companies say they are going to stop putting AM radios in their vehicles. That doesn't bode well for Andrew's listening habits. And a listener needs some yard sign advice.

Andrew did something regrettable to his landscaping yesterday. Luke is impressed with a man who cleans compost toilets for a living and hates the work as much as we would. And a Seattle pizza institution is going to start using flying drones to deliver orders.

Luke and Andrew dig into the fake, A.I.-generated mini-episode of TBTL that was created by listener Seth. They also get updates on Luke's missing UPS package, the child who appears in John Mulaney's comedy special, and Dennis Franz's derriere.

Luke is mesmerized by the beauty of New England but frustrated by its labyrinthian roads. Andrew revisits the great Cleveland balloon disaster of 1986. And a listener creates a mini-episode of TBTL using artificial intelligence.

(Image of 1.4 million balloons being released into the sky over Cleveland in 1986 from the mini YouTube doc BalloonFest '86: The Fundraiser that Ended in Disaster by TSD Talks.)

Luke considers employing artificial intelligence to handle his 11,000 unread emails. He and Andrew also discuss Beau is Afraid and the Best Kiss winner from the MTV movie awards.

Luke is spending his birthday delighting in old Macho Man Randy Savage interviews. Plus, New Jersey's big pasta mystery is basically solved, although Andrew still has some questions (of course.)

Residents of a New Jersey town want to know who dumped huge amounts of spaghetti in the woods next to a stream. Plus, the Funeral Directors of America have an important message for Luke.

Andrew quizzes Luke on obscure words for even more obscure emotions. They also discuss lawn care, Seattle radio luminaries of the 1990s, and whether or not Luke should place any bets at a Kentucky Derby party he's attending this weekend.

A filmmaker pieced together Frank Ocean's entire mysterious Coachella performance using nothing but found footage…then he was ordered to take it off the internet. And Andrew can't seem to have anything but awkward interactions with his very nice neighbor.

Luke and Andrew reminisce about the vacuum cleaners of their youths, and they explore all the eerie urban legends that surround the Denver airport.

Luke climbed a 300 foot tree this weekend and now truly understands "the fear." Plus, Andrew's own worst fear comes to life when he wears a Baltimore Orioles hat out in public, even though he doesn't know anything about the team.

Luke and Andrew's boss, Beth, joins the show to try to get Luke to complete his dang cybersecurity training and to let us know if APM will be able to survive without TBTL.

Luke became a huge hockey fan overnight (with a little help from DraftKings.) A listener blows Andrew's mind with some TV trivia that slipped right past him. And Dateline NBC just hit the big time!

A lifehack on Reddit actually helps Luke cut through a phone tree and reach a human being as he tries to deal with a huge company's customer service robots. Plus, a fake Tom Brady stand-up special created with A.I. is pulled from the internet, and today is the last day to use your Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons!

Matthew Perry says he regrets insulting Keanu Reeves in his memoir, which leads Luke and Andrew to explore one of Perry's less celebrated roles in a sleeper Christopher Guest film. Also, Luke is beyond furious at UPS right now.

Ed Sheeran is facing a lawsuit claiming that one of his songs sounds too much like Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." Luke and Andrew listen to the tape and of course offer a definitive ruling.

TBTL Friendo Paula Poundstone joins the show to talk about how she ended up in Alan Rickman's diary…and not necessarily in a good way. Luke and Andrew also spend way too much time talking about the basketball skills of Shaquille O'Neal's mom in a new segment they're calling "Outside The NBA."

Residents in Tampa are wowed by a strange vision in the sky that some reported was a UFO. It wasn't. Plus, Luke and Andrew have a new favorite audio exclamation point.

Andrew is tempted to start clearing weeds along the busy, litter-strewn streets of his neighborhood. Plus, the French monks famous for making Chartreuse have decided to focus more on monking than making liquor, and now there's a global shortage of the stuff.

Luke and Andrew analyze some strange audio they found on TikTok yesterday. Plus, a lost wallet leads to an amazing discovery at Luke's nearest Home Depot. And the 7-foot Dairy Queen spoon that went missing has now been found!

Andrew is very impressed with the A.I. version of Luke's voice that someone made. They also discuss the decision to change "HBO Max" to a service simply called "Max". And a listener tries their hand at guessing Andrew's new washing machine song.