TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke and Andrew have a big (fun, exciting, scary) announcement about TBTL!

Luke has a close(ish) call with internet shaming. Andrew's memory of a very old stand-up bit is confirmed by a listener who went digging deep. And Tupperware is in serious financial trouble, and it didn't have to be this way!

Andrew thinks his new washing machine might be a reincarnated musician, and Luke has an bizarrely impossible experience trying to order two martinis and a root beer at a local watering hole.

Andrew is excited about his brand new washer and dryer, but he does not want to marry them, for what it's worth. Plus, mysterious UberEats deliveries around Los Angeles are confusing residents and highlighting the different ways rich and poor neighborhoods react to things.

Turns out, the new Starbucks olive oil coffee may make you run to the bathroom, something that Luke and Andrew already assumed. Plus, the new Super Mario Brothers movie is getting terrible reviews but is an absolute box office boon, which makes Luke worry about the future of film.

Luke discovers something interesting in the voices of morning radio hosts. Andrew tries to remember a joke from the past. And Elon Musk continues to ruin Twitter, society.

Luke explains Good Will Hunting to Andrew, who was in the dark on some pretty basic info about the film. They also discuss the new rules in Major League Baseball and how it's affecting their fandom.

Andrew learns that the people beating him at his new Xbox video game are young children. Luke recounts the time an online poker game almost led to fisticuffs. And a longtime TBTL listener has a request regarding the way we talk about older people.

Andrew accidentally stumbled onto some great Harry Truman trivia when he picked a free murder mystery novel in his neighborhood. And a listener wants to know where the phrase "you bleed for me!" came from. Luke sheepishly explains.

Andrew is struggling with a moral dilemma over his favorite word game. Luke met a chinchilla named Mr. Bean. And the folks at Saturday Night Live pull off an April Fools' Day prank that even TBTL can love.

Luke's adventures at Guitar Center this morning were very…Guitar Center-y. He and Andrew also discuss the ups and downs of Gwenneth Paltrow's recent court case.

Luke's ability to podcast has been hobbled after a piece of his audio equipment went missing at TSA yesterday. And Andrew's neighbors have an honest-to-gosh Garbage Mystery on their hands!

Luke swings by Andrew's studio to play the old "is it candy or is it gum?" game. They also discuss Luke's ill-advised karaoke choices last night and Andrew's plans to attend something called a "Diamond Derby"?

Luke spent the day wearing a Spanx shirt, and he thinks it's affecting his podcasting performance. He joins Andrew in Seattle to talk about huge hotel chains ditching housekeeping services and trying to sell it as a bonus for their guests.

Luke and Andrew use today's show to reinvent the podcasting format as only they and/or the British Bulldogs know how. They also check-in on the ol' TBTL voicemail line, where Tens of listeners have shared stories of near nudity, fake voices and corned beef hash.

Luke encountered a smell yesterday that he likens to "the sulfurs of hell", and now he needs some advice.

Luke has a Pants Update™, and he found some really cool archived audio he wants to share.

Luke overheard the most charming conversation over an Italian dinner last night. He and Andrew also get personal and compare their tax portals. And listeners inspired by Monday's coffin-talk share their own stories of cremation and burial-gone-wrong.

Luke finds himself in a literal nightmare scenario when he gets locked out of his hotel room wearing next to nothing.

Luke is still in Southern California, where he is passing on an opportunity to broadcast from inside a casket. And Andrew is upsetting Alicia Keys fans with Instagram polls about Katy Perry.

Luke is stuck in the place next to The Happiest Place On Earth, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to leave.

Luke joins the show from Anaheim, in a hotel filled with stressed-out parents trying to make their children's Disneyland dreams come true. He and Andrew also have updates on missing dogs, notes left on cars, tattoos on lips, and the shirt Luke was trying to return to an online retailer.

A lawsuit over "boneless chicken wings" leads Andrew to take an unusually strong stance in defense of city council meetings.

Luke finally had the chance to meet The Most Interesting Neighbor In The World. He also stumbled on some characters from TikTok whom he's now obsessed with…and you will be, too!

A controversial Wordle answer over the weekend leads to a surprisingly in-depth conversation about the '80s sitcom Family Ties. Plus, the Academy really did the Oscars right last night.

A scared dog is loose in Andrew's neighborhood, and he and Luke want to help get her back to her family. Plus, Americans are shocked - SHOCKED - by something the Bidens did at dinner last week.

Andrew finally comes clean about a shameful secret he's been carrying around for weeks. He and Luke also compare and contrast their college bathroom experiences.

Luke and Andrew are fascinated to realize that Luke's recent experience with a customer service representative might have actually been a conversation with an A.I. chatbot. [unicorn mind explosion emoji!] Plus, Luke is not happy about an accusation regarding his choice of hotel during a work trip.

The New York Times says many people don't want to date men with podcasts. Luke and Andrew have a podcast. Plus, a new Girl Scout cookie is selling at ludicrous prices on the secondary market.

Luke and Andrew finally discuss the Top Stories that they promised last week, from "whisky fungus" in Tennessee to temporary tattoos that aren't so temporary. Plus, how do you celebrate a cat's birthday?

Luke's attempts to dress up like a shepherd hit a snag. He also has some regrets about the note that he left on the windshield of a Ford something-or-other earlier this week.

The person who returned Lady Gaga's stolen dogs says the singer isn't respecting the "no questions asked" part of the reward agreement. Plus, Luke and Andrew break down the lyrics to Huey Lewis' "The Power of Love" in order to find deeper meaning in the song.

Luke and Andrew stumble on an honest-to-gosh mystery outside Luke's apartment window. So they do what any good podcasters do: They get involved.

Woody Harrelson dropped an anti-vax joke during his SNL monologue, but his views seem more complicated, overall. Plus, Howard Schultz is adding olive oil to some Starbucks drinks. Could this really just be the whim of a coffee aficionado?

After a nice weekend at an Oregon cabin, Luke has some lingering frustrations about the state of AirBNB rules. Meanwhile, Andrew considers a four-day darkness retreat after an embarrassing night in his rumpus room.

A heavy snowstorm almost prevented Luke from getting to New York, but he did get to spend a lot of quality time on the tarmac!

Luke trolls Andrew hard over Wordle and tries to ruin his Wordle-based relationships. Plus, Luke has some mail drama in his apartment building.

Luke and Andrew agonize over part of yesterday's show that hit the cutting room floor. Plus, United Airlines is going to start allowing parents to sit by their children without paying extra fees, and a proposed law would prohibit dogs from sticking their heads out car windows!

Andrew is on a ridiculous mission involving his favorite podcast and his relationship with it. Plus, liquor board officials in Oregon have been grifting the public out of the most sought-after bottles of whiskey.

Luke and Andrew dig into the history of Presidents' Day with a little help from the New York Times.

The federal government is trying to crack down on "funny" road safety signs, like the one in New Jersey that says, "We'll be blunt. Don't drive high."

Luke and Andrew discover that they were BOTH coincidentally at roller rinks last night, although Andrew was more focused on a Simpsons arcade game than roller skating. Plus, a donut shop owner in Conway, New Hampshire, is fighting with the town over his new mural, which may actually be a sign, not a mural (but he insists it's a mural.)

Luke's got a gripe about the folks using the free coffee machine in his building, and he's got a new rule for jewelry shops. Plus, data shows that someone crashes their car into a 7-11 store about once a day. That seems like a lot.

The TBTL Hive Mind jumps in to correct the record on a mis-identified audio drop featuring Kristen Schaal, making at least one listener very nervous. Plus, Burger King's newish jingle is the Song Of The Winter.

Luke enjoyed a wonderful Super Bowl Sunday, thanks to some bonkers bets that panned out for him. He and Andrew also look at the best and worst commercials that aired during the game. And a listener blows their dang minds with a gentle correction about a favorite audio drop.

A $150 cup of coffee has Luke reconsidering his relationship with the beverage. Andrew is waiting to see if the local sports station will read his text on the air. And Luke found himself in a "Pay It Backwards" situation recently in a Starbucks drive-thru.

Joe Biden used an idiom during his State of the Union speech that has left a lot of people confused. Turns out, he's been using it for years, and NPR is on the case. Plus, Luke and Andrew go down a sandwich memory lane.

Andrew tries to help Luke decide what to do with his accidental collection of casino chips. Plus, LeBron James broke a historic record last night, which unearthed some fond basketball memories for Luke.

Luke clears up some details regarding yesterday's water rescue story. Meanwhile, Andrew is hot under the collar about a new policy at AMC theaters.

The comedian at the beginning of today's show is Brooks Wheelan.

Luke received a very surprising and pretty upsetting letter from his neighbor over the weekend. He and Andrew also found themselves protected from a menace by a hero bartender in Portland on Friday. And the Goonies house is in the news again?!