The Horror Virgin

"It's Spooky Law and Order"

This week's hottest movie is... The Exorcism of Emily Rose from 2005. This movie has everything: demonic possessions, Cat Attacks, and a dad who gets Horse kicked. This movie laughs in the face of our legal system and makes up it's own rules. And we love it. We are also joined by the one and only Michael McMillian (True Blood/The Hills Have Eyes 2). Enjoy!

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Up Next: Piranha 3DD (2012)

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"It's a weird Indiana Jones Horror Movie"

This week's hottest movie is... The Nun 2. This movie has everything: haunted catacombs, demonic possessions, and a heroic Sister Irene, once again facing off against the terrifying Valak. If you are into Goats and haunted magazine stands you are gonna love it! Also. this episode features Sammy Smart, and how could you not love that!

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Up Next: The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

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"I'd kill everyone in this building to charge my son's iPad"

Join the gang this week, and very special guest Eli Bosnick (from God Awful Movies) as we break down The Exorcist: Believer. This movie has everything: demonic possessions, eerie séances, and a cameo by the iconic Linda Blair as Regan. We hope you enjoy this 2 and a half hour look at this wild Exorcist Sequel.

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Up Next: The Nun 2 (2023)

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"Not all miracles are divine."

This week's hottest movie is... Immaculate from 2024. This movie has everything: a devout American nun, a spooky convent, secret catacombs, creepy rituals, and an "Immaculate conception" gone horribly wrong. Grab your rosaries and prepare for a nightmare!

For more from Rachel Scanlon go to: https://www.rachelscanloncomedy.com/

And follow her @rachelscanloncomedy

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Up Next: The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

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"Dance like your life depends on it"

this movie is a horror-comedy thrill ride about a group of kidnappers who get way more than they bargained for. This movie has everything: a ballet-obsessed vampire child, a haunted mansion, mismatched kidnappers, gallons of blood, and a series of twisted dance recitals.

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Up Next: Immaculate (2024)

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"Your biggest fear just got bigger."

Join the gang this week as we break down a low-budget creature feature about a spider. This movie comes from Australia, a place where they know exactly how dangerous spiders can be. But, of course, the filmmakers want the spider to be scary. And for Australians to find a spider scary, it HAS to come from space.

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Up Next: Abigail (2024)

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"Is your war finally over"

Join the gang this week as we break down a movie that made us cry multiple times. It's an emotional look at how survivor's guilt can destroy someone from the inside out, keeping that person from living their own life, finding love, and connecting with the community again. Set in post-WW2 Japan, and oh yeah, Godzilla is there. SERIOUSLY. IT'S AMAZING! Please enjoy our episode on Godzilla Minus One.

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Up Next: Sting (2024)

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"You don't know what he sacrificed to get here."

Join the gang this week, with special guest Julian Fernandez (@julianfcomedy), while we break down Late Night with the Devil. This movie has everything... It's got a magician that is absolutely out to prove all spiritualist wrong. It's got a 70's Late Night host that will literally do anything to get to the top. It's even got a little girl whose head splits in half as she kicks off the dance party. You are gonna enjoy this bonkers episode.

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Up Next: Godzilla Minus One (2023)

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"It's like is Jason Borne was bad"

Join the gang this week while we breakdown The Guest. This movie has everything. A grieving family. An unexpected house guest that really shakes up this family. A daughter that is about to be promoted to primary caretaker.

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Up Next: Late Night with The Devil (2023)

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"WHY IS IT STAHTING IN PAHKs"

Join the gang with we break down M. Knights worst movie... But best RomCom. This movie has everything. A science teacher that seems to understands very little about science. His wife that can't stop herself from emotionally (at least) cheating on him, and fields that literally crop dust people to death as people walk through them. Please enjoy our look at The Happening.

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Up Next: The Guest (2014)

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"Now, terror has no shape"

This movie has everything: aliens, blobs, explosions, government conspiracies, and a heroic high school student who saves the day! It's Got: A creepy-crawly monster, government cover-ups, and a truck that delivers THE MOST snow. WE hope you enjoy this weeks episode on The Blob.

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Up Next: The Happening (2008)

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"Something went wrong in the lab today. Very wrong."

New York's hottest lab is The Fly. This place has everything: Brundle, baboons, and a teleportation pod that's just a ticking time bomb of DNA disaster. Picture this: a brilliant but eccentric scientist, one part Einstein, one part common housefly, spiraling into a buzzed frenzy. It's science meets body horror with a splash of romance that says, "I’m literally falling apart over you." So if you're looking to experience more than just a fly on the wall, buckle up for a metamorphosis that will make your skin crawl!

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Up Next: The Blob (1988)

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"Habit-forming. Mind-controlling"

This week’s podcast episode has EVERYTHING. We’re diving into the cult classic, The Stuff. It's like if your vanilla yogurt was a crystal ball into our social media-obsessed future—creepy, addictive, and turning everyone into mindless zombies craving more. Join us as we explore how this gooey, marshmallow-like treat from the '80s wasn’t just a dessert, but a prophecy about how social media would meld our minds into one big, hive-mind megazord. Don’t miss this chilling yet delicious breakdown of consumer culture gone wild.

If are re-listening to this episode. The episode starts at 9:25

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Up Next: The Fly (1986)

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"One way in. No way out"

2018's hottest movie is Annihilation. This movie has everything: shimmering walls, mutant alligators, and talking plants. This sci-fi thriller is like if Darwin and David Lynch designed a bio-dome. Picture this: Natalie Portman, a grieving biologist, leads a team of equally tormented scientists into a glittery, rainbow-colored death trap called "The Shimmer". And the climax? Imagine a dance-off with your own shadow that might just swallow your soul. It’s the ultimate trip—literally.

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Up Next: The Stuff (1985)

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"The one where we see an accurate representation of Tom Cruise as a dad"

Join the gang this week while we break down an H. G. Wells story so iconic that everyone thinks Orson Welles (possibly related) wrote it. There is a lot of like about this movie. There is also a lot to dislike, and his name is Robbie. But at the end of the day we had a blast talking about this one. Enjoy.

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Up Next: Annihilation (2018)

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"Quarantine. Eradication. Sterilization. Repopulation"

Listen. I'm gonna level with you. It's the kids fault. Like everything in this movie is the kids fault. If Hawkeye had just done his job and shot Andy in the face London wouldn't be getting blown up and gassed by NATO right now. Speaking of that. I'm typing this from my hotel room in London. I gotta go. I hear some commotion on the street.

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"Some Thing Has Found Us"

Join the gang this week as we introduce Todd to the very first Cloverfield movie. We've covered "10 Cloverfield Lane," but as you know, nothing in the Cloverfield universe connects, so he had no idea what was in store with this one. You're going to love his reaction. It's a blast of an episode for a movie that's still talked about today because of how amazing it was.

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Up Next: 28 Weeks Later (2007)

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"Night of the Living Dead is over. Dawn of the Dead is here."

Join the gang this week while we break down a movie that really laid the ground work for all the zombie movies that came after it. We had a blast breaking down the ins and outs of this movie. We hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoyed talking about it.

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Up Next: Cloverfield (2008)

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"This whole street is haunted"

Join the gang this week while we break down Demián Rugna's Terrified. This movie isn't just scary, its a fun twist on a classic haunted house story. We hope you enjoy this episode half as much as this movie scared Todd. Enjoy!

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Up Next: Dawn of the Dead (1978)

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"One can never give a child enough supports"

Join the gang with week while we break down the 2007 The Orphanage.  This movie has everything.  A mom who's basically a goth Peter Pan, searching high and low for her missing crew of lost boys.  There's this creepy cave that's basically a magnet for every kid with a death wish. And let's not forget about the little one with a life story so tragic, Shakespeare's tragedies are shaking. Buckle up, because this episode will take you on a roller coaster ride through every emotion you wish you didn't know you had.

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Up Next: Terrified (2017)

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"A Shaman, a Buddhist Monk, and a Priest walk into a bar"

Join the gang this week while we break down a pretty stellar foreign film. This one it a supernatural whodunit pitting two shamans against each other with a bumbling cop in the middle.  But are foes truly foes? No man knows. But by the end of the episode. We spoil it for you. So watch this one first maybe. It's great. you'll like it!

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Up Next: The Orphanage (2007)

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“There's no point in praying.”

Join the gang this week while we venture into a post-religious world. Where the only thing that can save you from evil it to not witness it. Unless you are immune. Then you can clean up evil with a sextant telescope thing. This is a crazy scary movie that got Paige just as much as Todd. Mikey wasn't at ALL affected.

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Up Next: The Wailing (2016)

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"We Are Our Own Worst Enemy."

Join the gang this week while we revisit Us.  Do we love the metaphor of this movie?  Absolutely.  Does the logic on the world the movie takes place in make sense? Not at all.  But what is so logical could unregulated capitalism pitting Us against ourselves for our very survival?  Peele knows how to make a movie!  We hope you enjoy this revisit of Us!

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Up Next: When Evil Lurks (2023)

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"You send a ghost to a pimp?"

Join the gang this week while we dive into The Glen to unpack a wonderful movie that pokes fun at some truly terrible realities in our world.  There is some debate as to if this movie is considered "Horror" so we'd love to know what you all think about that, but either way, the movie is amazingly done and Jamie, John, and Teyonah are amazing in it. Enjoy!

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Up Next: Us (2019)

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"We can't all Pod First"

Join the gang (and special guest Shondalia White) to break down this super funny horror comedy. Would we have survived the most racist board game ever? Probably not. but the one thing we are sure of is that Officer White and Mikey have extremely similar energy. Enjoy the episode!

If you want more of Shondalia White follow her on Instagram @storytimewithshondalia

Check out her Podcast:

I Can't Eat Sh*t! Podcast

https://www.youtube.com/user/ShondaliaWhite

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Up Next: They Cloned Tyrone (2023)

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"Roe V. Blade"

Join the gang this week while we break down the insane vampire sequel Blade 2.  This movie has everything.  Hellboy, a Boondock Saint, and a retconned main character who can't make up his mind if he is evil or not.  It also has Wesley Snipes at like PEEK Snipes.  It's amazing.  We hope you enjoy it.

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Up Next: The Blackening (2023)

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"Scream your last breath."

This is no tourist trap. It’s a new podcast episode. No one’s ever been down here before. Join the HV Crew as we repel into blood puddles, try to avoid creepy crawlies, and love each day with the Descent. Will Mikey blame Todd for sneaking up behind him and letting Mikey kill him with an axe?  Yeah Probably.  Enjoy.

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Up Next: Blade II (2002)

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"Cry little podcast!"

Join the gang this week while they revisit (with Mikey and Paige this time) The Lost Boys!!!  This is the first movie Todd has ever had the chance to pick and he pulled out one of our favorites.  We hope you enjoy this revisited episode!

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Up Next: The Descent (Revisited - 2006)

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"Hell is a teenage pod"

We’re actually evil. Not podcast evil. Grab your bag of frozen peas, your $12 corsage, and your BFF necklace, and meet us down at Melody Lane for Jennifer’s Body. It's Paige's first time on the podcast talking about this movie, so unlike Mikey and Todd's stale takes, hers are fresh out the garden!

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Up Next: Jennifer's Body (Revisited - 2009)

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"It's like Danny Ocean and Jigsaw went head to head"

Join the gang this week while we break down Mikey's favorite torture porn movie from the mid-2000s.  We had a lot of fun talking about this movie but that doesn't mean we all liked it.  I guess you'll have to listen to find out who loves it, who likes it, and who does NOT care for this movie at all.  The results may surprise you.

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Up Next: Jennifer's Body (Revisited - 2009)

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"More people get slapped in this movie than in loony tunes cartoons"

Join the gang this week as we dive back into the Stephen King classic Carrie.  This is technically a revisited episode but Mikey and Paige were not on the OG episode so their "takes" are Fresh and on point.  You are gonna enjoy this episode. It's one of Stephen King's best movie adaptations, and we had a great time talking about it.

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Up Next: The Collector (Revisited - 2009)

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"Life finds a way"

Merry Christmas!!!!  It's that magic time of the month of a magical time of year when not only do the listeners get to pick the listener request.  They can pick ANY movie they want, regardless of theme.  And this year the listeners picked Jurassic Park!  This movie RIPS and is of course a classic movie that blew people away in 1993 and us again when we watched it for the episode.  Please enjoy this Christmas edition of The Horror Virgin!

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Up Next: Carrie (Revisited - 1976)

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"Every time a bell rings an angel gets to kill."

Join the gang this week while we break down the better version of "It's a Wonderful Life.  Because the Potter Characters actually get what is coming to them.  Look.  Is this movie a work of art?  No.  not at all.  But is it so much fun it is absolutely going to be a "Go to" Christmas Horror Movie each year?  Hell yes!

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Up Next: Jurassic Park (1993)

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Happy 300th Episode!!!

Join the laughter-packed celebration of The Horror Virgin's 300th episode as the crew unravels the enigmatic Hitchcock classic, Psycho (1960). Tune in for the comedic breakdown, fun insights, and a heartfelt thank you to our incredible listeners. This milestone wouldn't be possible without your support and enthusiastic word-of-mouth. So, let's embark on a cinematic journey together, minus the screams, and share the joy of horror with gratitude!

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Up Next: It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)

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"What is happening?"

Step into the chaos with the crew and our awesome guest, Jason Pargin, as we unravel the mysteries of a mind-bending movie. We boldly venture into this cinematic experience with zero knowledge of the video game lore – because, let's face it, we're here to review the movie, not the games. Brace yourselves for a wild ride through confusion as we try to make sense of everything that unfolds. Despite the perplexity, one thing is crystal clear – we totally get why this flick raked in the big bucks at the box office!

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Up Next: Psycho (1960)

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"Welcome to Barrow (Alaska), Inhabitants: 3"

Join the gang this week while we revisit a town that goes zero sunlight for 30 days.  Will Todd go mad with Seasonal effectiveness disorder?   Will Paige try to bang Snow Crixus?  Will Mikey finally get to cut a child's head off with a dull axe?  Find out now while we Revisit 30 Days of Night!!!

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Up Next: Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

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"The year is 1766... The hunt for a killer has begun"

Join the gang this week while we break down a Werewolf movie so wild there isn't even a Werewolf movie in it and we didn't care AT ALL.  This movie has everything, a French Fuckboi, Literally the best thing to ever come out of the American continent, and the Pope's Sexercist.  What's not to love?  

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Up Next: 30 Days of Night (2007)

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"Love Never Dies"

Dive into this week's episode as the gang delves into the quirkiest Dracula movie to date. Is Gary Oldman's portrayal of Dracula downright eccentric? Does Keanu Reeves deliver his most compelling performance yet? Mikey and Todd may just overuse the term "Bram Stoker's Dracula." Spoiler alert: they absolutely do. Don't miss out on the fun – tune in and enjoy the banter!

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Up Next: Brotherhood of The Wolf (2001)

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"A Bitch of a Werewolf Movie"

Join the gang this week while we go to the woods of Scotland for a special training mission.  Will Todd wash out of the special forces program for not being able to kill a dog?  Will Paige we mesmerized by the Werewolves' large shoulders?  Will Mikey find a way to justify shooting his dog?  Find out now.

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Up Next: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

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"Ten Years Ago he changed the face Of Halloween, now he's back."

Join the gang this week while we head back to Haddonfield, Illinois because Michael Myers is on the loose.  This time he is on the hunt for Jamie (Laurie's Daughter).  Why is he hunting her?  No idea.  We aren't sure it's important.  But Dr. Loomis is putting off renegade cop vibes in this movie and we are here for it!

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Up Next: Dog Soldiers (2003)

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"The Honeymoon's Gonna Be Killer."

Join the gang this week while we break down a move that we could have also done on Romancing the POd.  Cause at the core of this movie, it's about a guy meeting someone with similar interests and falling in love with them, then getting married and having a baby.  It just so happens that they are dolls and the interest they share is murder.  

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Up Next: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

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"Oh, yes. There will be blood."

Join the gang this week while we dip our severed toe back into the Saw franchise.  This time there is clearly a bigger budget and more action.  But is the action real or is it just a video playback?  I guess you'll have to find out on this breakdown of Saw 2.

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Up Next: Bride of Chucky (1998)

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"The city that has seen it all ain't seen nothing yet... If we ever get there!"

Join the gang this week, and Nationally recognized Friday the 13th expert (and Bar Owner... maybe) Jonathan Watkins, while they all break down a movie that can't even deliver on the title... but is somehow amazingly fun.  Do we think this is a good movie?  No.  Did we have a blast talking about it?  Hell Yeah!

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Up Next: Saw 2 (2005)

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"It's A Boy!"

Join the gang this week while we jump back into a crazy franchise that is just the best!  In this installment, we get to see Freddy as a baby.  And what is better than that?  This movie and episode are pretty insane but we like them that way.  

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Up Next: Saw 2 (2005)

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"A movie that refuses to make sense"

Join us this week as we dive deep into the confusingly titled 5th installment of the Scream franchise, aptly named "Scream." Opinions are divided, with one of us loving it and two others not so much. It might not be the best Scream movie, but we had an absolute blast dissecting it and sharing our thoughts. Tune in for a lively discussion!

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Up Next: Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

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"I haven't been ignoring your pod... I've been busy"

Join us this week while we break down the listener request winner Talk to Me.  This movie surprised us with how good it is.  We really dig in on what the movie is saying about addiction and disassociation, but we also have a lot of fun too.  We hope you enjoy this one.

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Up Next: 5cream (2022)

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"The Bark and the Wicked"

Join us this week while we break down one of the saddest movies we have done in a while.  This movie is great and scary.  So scary in fact we divert our attention away from the sadness by becoming investigative journalists and uncovering a possible scam.  It's a heavy but very fun episode.  Enjoy!

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Up Next: Talk to Me (2023)

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"A scary movie so bad it couldn't even scare Todd"

Have you ever wanted to see a movie that started off pretty decent but ended up feeling like a huge disappointment?  Well, Temple is the movie for you. It sets up so many things the never pay off and honestly ends up being kinda boring because of it.  But we had a GREAT time breaking it down.  Enjoy.

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Up Next: The Dark and the Wicked (2020)

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"My nightmare is they won't make any more of these movies"

Join the gang this week while we venture to Spain to try and sell our dead father's family abbey.  Will Father Mikey ask for forgiveness for loving down a lady? Will Paige convince Father Crowe to exorcist the demon outta Todd so we can sell this damn place?  Find out now!

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Up Next: The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

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"The most feared predator in history...is no longer history."

Join the gang this week while we break down this truly insane creature feature.  Will Todd geek out over the truly unbelievable science in this movie?  Will Paige find any way she can to mention that tentacles are sexy? Will Mikey explain the nuances of a "Mikey Movie"? find out now!

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Up Next: The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

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