The Greatest Generation

When a mysterious stranger gives Quark blue oomox (bluemox? bloomox?), the ne’erdowell bartender is forced to room with Rom. But when the Nagus makes Maihar’du cry, Quark will risk everything to get Zek addicted to snuff again. Are we ever going to stop hearing about these stem bolts? Do Star Trek’s various giant, silent valet characters ever hang out? What’s the best board game to play with the desiccated remains of Ferengi? It’s the episode where we find out that the Prophets are just like us.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When Cardassian scientists arrive on DS9 with a plan to communicate through the wormhole, it’ll take more than a Bajoran with a picket sign to stop Commander Sisko’s mission. But when prophecy turns into reality, O’Brien and the Cardassians must work past their differences in order to save the day. How many Peck’s Bad Boy films are in the Marvel cinematic universe? In which quadrant is the bedroom? What is the half-life of embarrassment? It’s the episode that doesn’t blink. Ever.

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When Kira and Odo borrow a Starfleet runabout they get stuck doing Starfleet work. But when the mission turns into a crisis, Odo will have to decide if he believes Kira’s performance. Does Odo have a butt? Which side of the iron curtain is the best venue for metamorphosis humor? Does O’Brien have a kayak kink? It’s the episode that adds a fifth rule of Greatest Genquisition.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When an age appropriate love interest for Jake Sisko appears looking for a date, it’s love at first sight. But when the A story starts publicly humiliating the B story at the dinner table, the crew of DS9 is left stuck with the bill. Does the Kai have upgrade status on Bajoran transport ships? Are interstellar geopolitics a part of a healthy medical recovery plan? Which cast member do you trust an entire page of dialogue to? It’s the episode that requires a brain transplant to enjoy.

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When Ghosts and Gimme’s team up to take over the DMV, initially only the Dims will support their cause. But when the Defiant starts to drain its supply of time travel particles, the Chief rolls a three-sided dice. What are good demands when you’ve got that big hostage energy? Are hippies weird or high? Where’s the soot? It’s the episode we recorded on our way into the eight figure club!Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When a freak transporter accident disappears Commander Sisko, Dr. Bashir and Dax, Chief O’brien is a little concerned. But when the away team appears at a critical time in the past, the death of a crucial historical figure has them scrambling to save the timeline. Is Brenner Information Systems a part of the Terminator movie universe? What’s the street value of a clown costume? How do Ferengi eulogize each other? It’s the episode that has a really cool tribal armband tattoo that we’d love to show you.

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When a couple of the crew welcome their long-absent lovers back, everyone’s favorite ambassador to hate crashes the festival. But when the polarity of the station’s boners is reversed, only the passionless Doctor Bashir can save the day. How much coffee should you drink before sex? Is Bajor’s spiritual homogeneity the product of a horrifying and bloody religious war? Is Quark awesome at canasta? It’s just another episode from the human interest story of Star Trek podcasts.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When the Federation’s most popular commander beams aboard DS9 for a little R&R, the crew believes he’ll be making the station his own personal Risa. But after he starts throwing the D around too aggressively, the most sensitive parts of the galaxy are in danger of being punished. Where can you get a dope-ass tamale? Is Cal Hudson’s true legacy sartorial? Do the Cardassians take a dump without a plan? It’s the episode that chooses the wrench!

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While trekking in the gQuad, Sisko and the gang encounter a disappearing reappearing planet whose inhabitants Dax finds very bonable. But while her relationship with one of the locals flowers, back at on the station, Quark’s depravity takes a turn for the worse. Does the Defiant need a dongle to disappear? Why is the makeup department neglecting Dax’s neck? Why do people keep going on these non-date dates? It’s the episode where we try out mid-90s flirtation.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When Chief O’brien trips DS9’s security system, the station’s car alarm triggers a very hostile form of lockdown. But when the crew get covered in “buts,” they may have to collaborate with an unlikely ally. Are there ANY new poop euphemisms? Why would anyone wear their communicator in an anti-Hudson configuration? Is embarrassment lethal? It’s the episode recorded with back-turned confidence!

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When a familiar purple haired lady returns to the station to fool Quark twice, he takes the bait and brings more than just shame on himself. But when part of the acquisition becomes Odo’s charge, the station’s safety will have to rest on the Lycine Contingency. Is Sisko’s parenting style inspired by Larry Miller? Do clothes make the man, and if so, why is this kid in a ninja costume? Should we be concerned about how Odo has decorated Chez Bucket? It’s the episode where the crew gets handed a win in a pelican case.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

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When Major Kira is given an unwanted makeover, her aestheticians give her the hard sell on accepting her new look. But when she begins to question their motivations, she’ll have to depend on those she hates the most to get her out of this mess. How do you defend against a “look dunk”? What are the seats you should choose for your wife on an airplane? Do you ever want to get handsy with the loaf? It’s the episode that makes us question our very identities!

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When Jadzia whips out some treacly keyboard skills at a dinner party, she puts the Siskos in an awkward position. But as her life turns into a bad episode of Fool Us with Penn and Teller, it starts to seem like Dax may have forgotten more than just her level of musical proficiency. Which host is in the pocket of Big Pun? Are Dax and Sisko chess hipsters? How does anyone get any shuteye on the Defiant? It’s the episode where we find out who’s Charlie Brown, and whose balls he’s trying to kick.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Keiko quits her job, Chief O’Brien must throw out the manual in order to fix the problems in their relationship. Meanwhile, after Quark gets into a bar fight with a drunk, his punishment requires that he defend himself both physically and mathematically. How can you tell if it’s a split diopter shot? What does Minkus look like today? Who is the best person to talk to about your domestic problems? It’s the episode that’s fine, really.

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When Odo finally discovers Planet Bucket, his curiosity takes the form of an interrogation of his goopy species. But when the rest of the gang returns to the station, they find the Federation negotiating a peace treaty that’s even worse than the one they have with the Cardassisans. Does a golden handshake count as watersports? Do Bunkbed Mark II Shuttles have rear windows? Are the Changelings just a cult? It’s the episode where the hosts take a deep dive on blasting butt.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When midlife crisis Ben Sisko rolls up to the station in his brand new ride, he can’t wait to show the crew what’s so special under the hood. But when he invites them on a trip around the block with him to show it off, the feedback from their neighbors is surprising. Where do we stand on Big Almond? How do we verify if “Scepter is Authentic”? Why can’t you go through the wormhole cloaked? It’s the episode where we decide where a “yes, and” belongs.

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When Nog and Quark barge into a Sisko family vacation, Jake insists they tune the radio to the Ferengi station. But when their Gamma Quadrant camping trip brings them in contact with two brand new kinds of alien, we set aside comedic things and head into the darkness. Do Commanders get shallower deep-Vs than Captains? Is that lady using a prodigious amount of spray, or is it an ear thing? Do Galaxy Class starships compare bridge size? It’s the episode where we talk about our big trip to the inside of a certain pocket.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Chief O’brien has his vacation plans derailed by the Cardassians, he goes from runabout seat to dentist’s chair in short order. But after his lackluster accommodations on Cardassia Prime are relayed back to Commander Sisko, it’s up to the crew of DS9 to get him rebooked elsewhere. Is there an “Alexander Bubble”? What are the three rules of Greatest Gen? Is Odo stuck in the uncanny valley? It’s the episode that ignores the very spacious “back of a runabout”!

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When Vedek Bareil gets a powerful Kai Election, Kira gets fairly hot under the collar. But when Vichy allegations start getting tossed around liberally, the Bajoran Papacy might go to someone who can cause Keiko some real problems. How do you pronounce a French thing? How could we have made that Michael Dukakis photo-op worse? Is wet leather an important waypoint on the path to nirvana? It’s an episode that will double down on last week’s challenge to unsubscribe.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Major Kira and Doctor Bashir get a flat tire while going through the wormhole, the nearest exit takes them to a place that looks like home. But when they arrive, they find O’Brien responding to his life in the same way he always has. What can’t you give away in prison? Is Bashir just a dorky Dad? Is John Roderick from the Mirror Universe? It’s ten pounds of episode in a two pound bag!

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When a headache seems more serious than normal, Garak’s traditional evasiveness begins to stand in the way of Bashir’s ability to keep him alive. But when the doctor goes on a B & E to help his friend, he may end up condemning the tailor to a life of pure misery. Why doesn’t Dax manscape her house plants? Does Quark have a nonstick coating on that loaf? Is Odo’s true calling as a Roto-Rooter? Its the episode where we are very careful not to ‘pull a Richard.’Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Calvin Hudson walks Commander Sisko through his plan to leave the Federation, his fugitive turn has implications that will last well past laundry day. But when Gul Dukat rides shotgun for the mission to bring him to justice, Sisko’s allegiances become complicated. What is the unified theory of non-Starfleet uniforms? Why are there so many farmers in Star Trek? Is there a question you should never ask a Lyft driver? It’s the episode where all of the host’s movements are motivated!

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When Male-Pattern-Baldness-Barclay commits an act of terrorism, Station Commander Sisko hits the road with an old frenemy. But when everyone in the DMZ starts using cheat codes, loyalties are tested and well-treated prisoners are dying. What is Cal Hudson telegraphing with that low com badge placement? Does Gul Dukat have resting threat voice? It’s the episode where we go on an Excellent Adventure, but stop short of going on a Bogus Journey.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When the Klingon chapter of the Dead Sons Club holds a meeting on DS9, Dax goes way back with some of the board members. But when the plan for the next meeting leads to a far away planet and a Scarface-like enemy, it forces her to choose between her career at Starfleet and an oath to her friends. Which X-Men side-scroller character are you? What’s the person version of object permanence? Is loaf just a way to get around an insensitive makeup decision? It’s the episode where we look at each other during, again!

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When their brand new ship takes a lot of body damage, some radical Cardassians put in at the station for a buff-out. But when the pilot turns out to be an old friend of Quark’s, his interest in her becomes more than academic. What does Quark get out of giving oral? Is ‘bloody dress’ a fashion statement or a metaphor? Could Odo ever safely impersonate a table at the Promenade’s Chili’s Too location? It’s the episode where we find out what’s in it for Adam.

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When a new arrival is greeted on DS9, he is warmly welcomed by everyone except for the person he’s there to see. But when a rodent infestation starts kicking the crew’s butts, the issue becomes a problem for more than just the food service vendors on the promenade. Why does anyone go “full Geordi” anymore? Should we take the mono-myth back to the drawing board? What’s the worst gift your mom has ever given you? It’s the episode that pitches a new health conscious t-shirt that no one will buy!

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When Dax and Odo find a techno-donut, it’s only the first clue in a very Star Trek mystery. Back on the station, Jake gets his first job and Quark tries to job Kira while Vedek Bareil tries to get a job of his own. Could Odo Riker an ankylosaur? Why are the Bjorans so willing to give up the jumja? What’s a good ratio of walls to holes? It’s the episode that shucks before it shaves.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Sisko and O’Brien discover a crashed freighter on a desolate planet, they find the hat enthusiast survivors have formed a society around their unhinged leader. But when they discover that hotboxing is being used as a form of punishment, it’s up to O’Brien to discover the secret of why no one can escape. Do Adam and Ben need an eye exam? What wouldn’t we give for a Juan Ortiz box of DS9 cards? Does a hand phaser have a setting for wood? It’s the episode where we don’t hate you, we hate how nude you’ve made us become!

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When O’Brien comes home from a security conference hosted by warring Gamma Quadrant aliens whose names are hard to remember, he falls victim to the classic dangers inherent to all Starfleet convention goers. But when his relationship with Keiko gets back into its old groove, he realizes that something is very wrong. What’s the exchange rate of Vanderpump To Trek? Shouldn’t the the Chief’s first step be to check for nubbins? How can one confirm when Uxbridge is authentic? It’s the episode that trades the promise of success and responsibility with a toilet plunger.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When an alien race that REALLY doesn’t like Shake Weights decides to liquidate their gym, Dr. Bashir and Chief O’Brien are there to help. But when those in charge want to change the scope of the project, it’s up to Commander Sisko to take a break from his buffet long enough to investigate the matter. Who are the “Geordi & Data of DS9”? What is Colm Meaney’s “Con Face”? Why is there so much implied gluttony? It’s the episode that shares the hosts’ favorite Judith B. Raskin park bench quotes.

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A doctor to whom Odo bears a striking family resemblance arrives on Deep Space Nine with a gift-wrapped mystery for his former lab animal. But when the team’s road trip to Planet Bucket unleashes a gassy banger, it’s not clear which member of the away team gets the worst side-effects. What’s the best drug to take when listening to the Melota Remix? What is motivating Sisko’s dimmer decisions? Is a female’s love interest something we can really categorize as a ‘dilemma?’ It’s the episode where we show our whole soft spot.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When the probability on DS9 gets out of whack, a new gambling hall across from Quark’s Bar may be to blame. But when O’Brien and Keiko start getting along, THAT’s the point when the crew becomes suspicious. How many liters of Odo are there? Does O'Brien prefer to play with himself? Where’s the knuck? It’s the episode that’s a real weird bit of business.

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When frumpy refugees come through the hole, Kira has to stop finishing Sisko’s sandwich. But when the houseguests start threatening to extend their stay, Bajor is confronted with a potential avalanche of skin flakes. Is an opaque door the only thing that will get Adam and Ben back into square jobs? !s the hotel discount at Se7enCon a good deal? Is “hey, you like hip-hop?” an effective pickup line? It’s the episode that might need to get a referral to a specialist.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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On the anniversary of a significant event in Federation history, Sisko falls for a woman who keeps ghosting him. But after an awkward conversation at a dinner party, their fantasy romance goes nova. Is Jennifer Sisko reanimated, somewhere? Could a marriage be a “correctable situation”? Why doesn’t anyone want to take shore leave on DS9? It’s the episode where one of the hosts is still numb!

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When Quark finds himself in a real film noir situation, it jogs memories with very muted colors for Odo. But when the case connects to events from the past, the sets get even smokier. Did Bajoran jewelers ever go through a modernist design period? What is Rom ever even doing? Are the Siskos being written off the show? It’s the episode where we goo through all the doors.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When Quark brokers a deal with someone who has a severe case of “bad guy face,” he needs help from a coworker. But when Rom discovers what she’s been hiding under her bed, it forces Quark to choose between his moral and legal codes. Why does the promenade close? What’s the best pretzel in the game? Is Morn is a hobo? It’s the episode that recounts our frequent history of make-out erasure!

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When Dr. Bashir tries to give a new ensign “The Brahms Treatment,” he actually manages to charm her. But when she and Dax are taken hostage with Quark, she briefly turns her weakness into a strength. What’s the worst bodily substance in microgravity? Has Dax just been jackin’ it for the last 150 years? How does science work? It’s the episode that retrofits as much of the podcast as possible for ADA compliance.HELP SUPPORT US IN THE #MaxFunDrive AT MAXIMUMFUN.ORG/DONATE!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!

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When a Cardassian boy bites Garak, it’s hard to blame him. But when Sisko and Bashir investigate further, their digging into the child’s Ancestry.com profile reveals some troubling facts w/r/t the "warphanages" on Bajor. Is the costume department “hattero-normative”? Does Gul Dukat watch the show? Are those Nilla Wafers? It’s the episode that thinks things are bathrooms that aren’t bathrooms!

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When Quark prays for bandits to take over the station, he gets more than a sticky gym sock. But when they come for Jadzia’s ankylosaur (anklyosaur?), the crew has to make fists with more than their toes. Are these Klingons seeking the right thing? How much are they charging these days at Vulcan supercuts? Are there any good tricks for finding Mareel’s loaf? It’s the episode where we trade honey sticks for latinum.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Profits!

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When the Bajorans seek to occupy Deep Space Nine, they arrive to find it nearly deserted. But when Sisko trusts the wrong messenger with the true nature of the coup, it’s up to his scrappy band of Jeffries tube rebels to fight off a legion of corduroy catbasket-clad soldiers before time runs out. What’s the first thing you should do after unboxing a RealSisko™? Who brings a guitar to a campout? Is Morn smart or dumb? It’s the episode that questions our own heroism!

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When a new first officer begins his career on DS9, the old one has a lot of emotional goodbyes to say. But when Quark is deputized by Odo, the mystery of What’s Even Happening gets blown wide open. Which Avenger is Jake Sisko reminding us of? Is Kira as sweaty as Ben thinks? Is the Three Day Rule Lifestyle a pyramid scheme? It’s the episode where we throw all orb continuity out the window.Follow the board game! www.gagh.biz/game

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When an ex-investment banker is sentenced to hard labor in a resort town, Major Kira goes behind enemy lines to rescue him. But when the stories he tells the tourists don’t end up holding any water, it’s up to Bajoran leadership to decide whether to keep his legend alive. What is proper "stream etiquette"? Why are dance crew contests still a thing in the 24th century? What are Klingon food safety rules? It’s the episode that questions the age limit on holosuites.

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When a fundamentalist religious leader comes on board the station, Keiko inherits more than the wind. But when one of her husband’s wrenches goes missing, his work wife starts to keep him on his toes too. Who ate all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the Craft Services table? What happened to the popsicle continuity in this episode? Does Neela want the jumja? It’s the episode where we teach the controversy.

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When a man with a mysterious past beams onto DS9 to see a doctor, the only treatment he gets are accommodations in the brig. But when the crew begins to doubt the person’s true identity, Kira must come to grips with what she really wants out of their relationship. Which DS9 character would you FMK? What are the sexual ethics of the holosuites? Is there a best pre-murder meal to order from a take-out window? It’s the episode that has no lollipop b-story!

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When a Klingon’s dying breath is to proclaim victory, the crew get dramatic about it. But while Odo becomes even more perplexed than normal about his colleague’s behavior, they’re cutting the phone lines and reenacting the death throes of a dying civilization. Should colleges and universities divest in Valeria? Is O’Brien going to have to get used to doing it in front of other people? Where is Quark in the cum hierarchy? It’s the episode where we go “full tube” to preserve our privacy.

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When Lwaxana Troi visits DS9, she’s not the only diplomat causing problems for the crew. But when Odo turns to putty in her hands, it becomes a moment of truth for the both of them. Are "social charisma" and "work charisma" different things? Does “picnic” mean grabbing something other than a basket? What is a Yamato Truther? It’s the episode NOT sponsored by a garbage can company!

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When characters from imagination and fantasy start arriving without a ship, it ruins bedtime for Deep Space Nine. But when llamas turn into bangers, the crew’s dreams turn into nightmares. Does Writer Salad make a filling meal? What’s Jake going to do with that baseball bat? Will Adam ever learn how to pronounce ‘denouement?’ It’s the drunken episode that nobody asked for (and the episode that will probably get us kicked off Maximum Fun).

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When Nog and Jake inherit a boat load of a Cardassian condiment, they propose a deal where anything more than nothing should be a win. But as Major Kira oversees the construction (and then the destruction) of an out of the way Bajoran Pizza Kitchen franchise, her gamble on diplomacy has her losing her shirt. Is Morn packing a hammer? What ever happened to “Genital Knees”? Is there anything higher than empire? It’s the episode that dares you to eat a sauce you don’t understand!

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When Sisko is presented with a perfect opportunity to redeem his reputation as a diplomat, he fails to recognize it for what it is. Meanwhile, Chief O’Brien is trying to keep a safe distance between himself and the doctor and failing miserably. How many clown shoes fit in the average bag? Is this old man set in his ways, or is the whole town? What’s the problem with Jake Sisko? It’s the episode with sub-Nagilum-level effects.

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When Kai Opaka makes an unscheduled visit to DS9, Commander Sisko, Major Kira and Dr. Bashir take her off the station as soon as possible. But when their Winnebago crashes onto “Planet War,” one of them will be unable to leave. Do humans in the 24th century have super eyesight? Does the promenade have a Claire’s? What’s the greatest amount of emotion depicted in Star Trek? It’s the episode that’s grandfathered into immortality.

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