Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

A 90 min conversation with retired Field Museum botanist Michael Dillon about the genus Nolana and South American botany.

A forty minute profanity-laced trade on the flux of events and garden destruction by semi-conscious contractors followed by a graceful interview concerningmmycological affairs with the wonderful Christian Schwarz. This episode more than most is filled with f-bombs so the more vanilla and easily-offended may have a hard time listening. Christian Schwarz interview starts around minute 40 for those wishing to skip the initial ranting.

The focus today is on Darlingtonia, trolling the Flu Klux Klan, Social Justice Warriors attacking science by obsessing about racist Eugenics programs from 100 years ago, and Illegal Gardening.

(the intro song recording quality is horrible. Skip to 2:30 rather than leave me an obnoxious comment about it Fuckface). 
Coral Pink Sand Dunes Milkweed, Southern Utah Botany, Vertic Limestones, Shitting in Kyle's Firepit.
Ten days studying the Floristics of the Colorado Plateau and Jurassic Sedimentary Rocks, we take a look at the genera of Fabaceae here including Pediomelum, Sophora, Peteria, etc. We also enjoy some time in Central Nevada with a milkweed named after renowned botanist Alice Eastwood (a botanical gangster if the ever was one)

Rants about Cephalanthera austiniae, the phantom orchid, and disjunct populations of Opuntia fragilis. Sneaking in to the Botanic garden after hours. 
 
This podcast sponsored by Eucerin.

90 minutes of ranting on plant propagation, metabolism, and Chiranthodendron pentadactylon from the chocolate subfamily of the Mallow Family.

Matt Candeais is a botanist from Buffalo, New York, currently residing in Illinois and working on his PhD. He is the man behind the In Defense of Plants "podcast.

A thirty minute rant mocking the "eco-fascist" chant among science-blind social theorists and leftwing bloggers (why do fellow lefties not criticize these nitwits?), Sonoran Desert Parasites, Mojave Euphoria during a pandemic, Desert Tortoises, Orocopia Sage, etc.
 
Email crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com to complain or send unsolicited, un-pleasant nudes.

Join us as we take a look at some limestone endemics of Death Valley and then Gypsum endemics of Nevada and Utah. Learn why the state of Arizona is akin to a "people of Walmart" calendar. Arctomecon humilis, Pediocactus sileri, Astragalus holmgreniorum, Diplacus rupicola, toilet humor and rants against cows.

A real nice conversation with Matt Ritter, an author and professor at California Polytechnic State University about botany, plant ecology, human society in which we also wax philosophical about a wide variety of topics and what the shit.

An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.

An astute comparison of adaptative radiations in Asteraceae with the novel coronavirus COVID-19. Plus, Carl Zimmer kicks Mike Pence in the cock. 90 minutes of rambling with Isaac Lichter, and why coming out of the closet drives the quality of one's art and writing to hell.

This is the second episode on New Caledonian botany, with continued fanatic ranting on the wonders of ultramafic geology and botany as well as musings on the futility of eating jackfruit and the pondering of what Dengue Fever must feel like.

Did I contract Dengue Fever yesterday on Moo Mountain whilst hiking to a relict population of Araucaria humboldtensis? Was New Caledonia submerged for 20 million years and then recolonized by numerous ancient lineages of plants? Will I be broke after returning from my visit here?

A conversation with a botanical wizard, explorer, conservationist, and plant propagator, my friend the illustrious Martin Grantham. 3 hrs long but worth a listen. We explore comedic misanthropy, a brief analysis of the human condition, our behavioral affinities with violent chimps, Fern sex and how they do it, South African flora, and the idea that one does not really know plants until they've grown them.

2 hours of pontificating on the beauty of fog deserts plus pondering how the fuck Sheriff Woody is able to hike 1,000 miles on a diet of candy and potato chips. Eriosyce recondita and cactus poachers, lomas formations, Fog islands brought to you by the Humboldt Current plus rants on shoulder surgery and the killing of street rats by Lewy.

A conversation with an expert plant explorer in a fleabag hotel room in Arica, Chile.

A 20 minute disjointed and profane rant followed by a 90 minute conversation with mycologist Alan Rockefeller. Oooooh how bout Dat.

I fucked this episode up by using the wrong mic setting, so it sounds like I recorded it in the public shower stall in the Honk Kong Airport bathroom. Meh, whatever, it's still a decent rant. You'll be fine.

Assorted ramblings on biogeography, a work ethic for Anthropocene, Irreverence for modern society, Biophilia, "Woke" Leftism vs Sociopathic right-ism, and the silly and idiotic destruction of a population of the endangered prostrata milkweed.

Rants about why it's OK to cry, Foot Rot, Plants that smell like hell and the combination of Continental annexation to Antarctica and extremely nutrient-poor, ancient soils that have led to an exquisite species richness in the Australian Flora. 
 
For some nice reading on this subject matter, including a free textbook ON SW Australia plant diversity, check out :
https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=1140CFj-8oTS9PtOcnQIpVx2dg7V9I2_i

Rants on Climate Deniers, Obsolete Racist Grandfathers, El Cielo Biosphere Reserve, Foxtail Pines, the Hong Kong Airport and many more. 2.5 hours worth of profane pontifications on evolutionary biology, the human condition and bad air days.

A long episode dedicated to rare Sumacs of West Texas, brutal heat, gypsophiles, refugial canyons in obscure mountain ranges, the phenomenon of arguing with idiots, trolls and shit-posters, and the wonders of Taquerias in South Texas.

A gentle, sweaty meander through the Southwest in August, ending in a bath in the salsa bar at Taqueria Palenque in Beautiful Mission, Texas.

Kankakee Mallow, Chiggers, Southside Prairies and Railroad Botany... At minute 45:00 starts a long diatribe on Sonoran Sky Islands (recorded in-situ inthe camper of ye Olde shit-box truck) and the wonders of the Legume Family, with multiple appearances by herps such as Black-Tailed Rattlesnakes, a Sonoran Desert Toad (DMT exudate), Ridge-nosed Rattlesnakes and Caesalpinia pulcherrima

Geologists laughing at Earthquakes, Coyotes as Redneck Antidotes, Extinct Redwood Forests of Nevada and Oregon, Tony flowers in volcanos, Heat Stroke, Calochortus Lily Bonanza, White Sensitivity, and Rico's Tacos.

Long rants about redwood lilies, a dip into Northern California geology as cross-dissected by Interstate 5, pontificating on lunatics of the left and the right, and a finale about Prairie Botany and the encouraged destruction of the American Lawn.

Milkweed Morphology and an exploration of the passive-aggressive liberal "white voice"

Real nice and quick banger Intro to Carnivory and the Piney Woods of the North Carolina Acidic Coastal Plain, plus a cameo by the mysterious and elusive Serpentine Milkweed from Northern California Coast Ranges

A trip to Death Valley Limestone , an herbal poultice for  invasive species  long-winded rambling and the longest attempt to exit the podcast so far.

Stinkbells Lilies,  Fritillaria agrestis, the Futility of Life in Modern Civ, Calico Monkeyflowers, etc

A trip to Pinnacles National Park, confused European tourists, the hemorrhoid of differentiating between two morphologically-identical genera of annual tarweeds, and the best goddamn taqueria in the Salinas Valley (Soledad Brother).

But for real - how could you not like The Spinners?

A week long jaunt into the Mojave during a freakish weather event and a list of the floristic characters encountered b/w moderated profanity and the joy of being slapped around with Placidium Lichen.

This episode contains rants about the anomaly of working-class republican-ism, molecular phylogenetics, a new population of Funeral Sage, and a relict population of Alaska Cypress

A Very Brief, Low-Brow Approach to the Sunflower Family with frequent cameos by an inopportune Yukele, with frequent digressions into Palo-Endemics, Refugia, Botanical Speciation , Disjunct Populations and Molecular Phylogenetics.