Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast

In the quest to answer the age old question "What do women want?" have we forgotten to stop and ask how women work? Join George and Laurie today for a thrilling conversation to learn about how women are wired. Laurie describes that 50% of women have receptive desire. Meaning their brain needs to stop thinking about the needs of others and click over to 'think sexy.' Men are driven by a 24 hour testosterone cycle that helps make them much more spontaneous lovers while women's levels rise and fall in a cyclical pattern. These differences can create sexual tension but we have some great tips to help get couples on the same page. Differences aside, we can all land on sex being an enjoyable experience for all! Download this episode today to learn more about the inner world of the woman in your life, how to be a secure and confident lover, getting better at timing and expressing desire. 

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Not tonight, I'm just too tired." If this phrase has echoed off your bedroom walls then this episode is for you! Life's demands, new baby, chronic illness, age are all reasons we have for being too tired. In fact, recent research touts just how important a good night's sleep is for our health to manage stress and reduce anxiety. What happens though, when you turn to your partner to initiate love-making and more often than not you meet their sleep mask or snores instead of their kisses and warmth? Join George and Laurie in this episode for a conversation around the need for sleep and sex! We discuss how we can be sensitive to our partner's need for rest and also when tiredness might be a sign of relationship disconnection.

Check out our sponsors!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you threatened by a vibrator? Maybe it's something you've been thinking about using or only using alone. Vibrators can play an important role in a couple's sex life but might bring up myriad emotions. You may worry that a vibrator means that you are a bad lover but we hope to reduce the stigma around sex toys! Most women do not orgasm through intercourse alone and using a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris may help her body get into the zone for an orgasm. As we hear from Laurie in this episode, "If you increase the amount of orgasm, it's better for everyone!." Join our hosts to learn: how to talk about using a vibrator as part of your love making, how to get started with a vibrator, and Laurie's recommendations!

There is still time to register for our virtual couple's retreat, Great Love and Great Sex, happening on September 8th. Head to our website www.foreplayrst.com to sign up!

Also please check out our sponsor ZocDoc! They have the medical referral you need, when you need it. Finding the right doctor (in the right area with the right insurance...) can be challenging. ZocDoc is your one-stop referral source that allows you to find the help you need!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everybody in a relationship needs to learn this! Join Laurie and George today as they discuss and teach an integral relationship skill, asking for what you need from your partner in a way that increases connection. Each individual in a relationship has their own set of longings. Expressing a longing in a vulnerable way is SCARY. It's scary because we fear a negative reaction from the person we love the most. That fear drives us to mask and express the longing in a more protected way. Instead of, "I miss you and I really want to spend time with you." We end up saying, "Oh, so you're going to be late again." And BAM, we are in a negative cycle. George and Laurie are experts at showing us how and why it goes wrong and the strategies to set it right. Make sure to download this episode and share it with your partner so you can both learn how to express your needs in a way that increases connection, emotional and sexual in your relationship today!

Join us on September 8th at 9am EST for our virtual couples retreat, Great Love and Great Sex to learn more conflict resolution skills and keys to a more loving relationship and how to keep it hot after all these years!

Check out our highlighted sponsor for this episode:

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our brain is in a threat response our view narrows and we typically only see our side. Relationship research shows that secure couples are able to find common ground in conflict and widen their perspective to include their partner. Holding opposing points of view helps to reduce the negative cycle as partners are able to understand, validate and provide empathy to one another. And we know that this can be SO HARD! Join George and Laurie for today's episode where they discuss and role play how to find and stay on common ground with your partner during conflict.

Join us on September 8th at 9am EST for our virtual couples retreat, Great Love and Great Sex to learn more conflict resolution skills and keys to a more loving relationship and how to keep it hot after all these years!

Check out our sponsor for this episode:

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who of our listeners wants a Full Bodied Orgasm? Join Laurie and George in this episode to learn all about the full bodied orgasm. A FBO is one that is felt throughout the entire body not just concentrated to the genitals. Laurie was recently interviewed and quoted in several publications, describing a full bodied orgasm and that it is in fact a real thing! This truly is the sex education you didn't get and men and women alike will want to listen to this episode to learn more about an orgasm that spreads throughout your entire body and some tips on how to make it happen. And don't worry if you've never had this happen before. We are firm advocates that all orgasms are good orgasms! Listeners, make sure you sign up for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat happening on September 8th. Registration is open now on our website.

Check out our sponsor for this episode:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Episode #389 Laurie and George discuss common roles in couple's relationships around sex. Are you the partner that initiates or the receptive partner? Our hosts detail that there is no right or wrong to either of these roles but when stuck in a negative cycle, couples can easily pathologize their partner. "Oh, all they ever think about is sex. They just want to get off." Or, "They are so cold. If I don't bring it up we would never have it at all." If this sounds like something that happens in your relationship, then this is an episode you will want to download and share with your partner! Listen as George and Laurie, get into the minds of each partner and the valid reasons they do what they do. In a negative cycle, protection drives interactions and couples lack the ability to be understanding, empathetic and de-escalated to listen to their partner. Join us in learning more about initiating and receptive sex and think about this homework assignment from G: Thank my partner for the way they show up, take ownership of my move in the cycle and share that to one another.  

Please check out our online couples retreat -- Great Love & Great Sex -- September 8, 2023!

Also please check out our sponsor ZocDoc! They have the medical referral you need, when you need it. Finding the right doctor (in the right area with the right insurance...) can be challenging. ZocDoc is your one-stop referral source that allows you to find the help you need!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boring is a signal and it's a sign that something needs to change! A complaint about monogamy is that the line between responsibility and desire often gets blurred and it is responsibility and safety that win out. Long-term couples come to therapy with a complaint that sex is predictable and had become boring. Join our hosts in this episode as they explore what might be lying under the surface. Are you simply disengaged from life? Or is there a relational dynamic that has caused a couple to disengage from desire and their ability to express desire to each other. Our hosts remind us that sex is an exciting adventure and the safety of a long-term partnership invites us to take even more risks. If you have been thinking that sex with your honey has been a little stale, you'll certainly want to download this episode. There is still time to take advantage of our early bird discount for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat on September 8th. We hope to see you there!

Check out our sponsor:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this listener mailbag episode, Laurie and George receive a thoughtful question from a sexual withdrawer, asking help from our hosts. They notice that as their partner asks what they want in bed, they are often empty and unknowing of the response. George and Laurie work to honor the protection of emptiness that can be present for many sexual withdrawers. The experience of not knowing the self or the needs of the self has ties to early childhood or influential relationships where there was safety in disowning needs. They provide valuable insight on the protective position and tangible strategies for listeners. If you consider yourself a sexual withdrawer or are in a relationship with a sexual withdrawer this is an incredible episode to listen to, download and share! We welcome couples to join us on September 8th for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat! We have a breadth of information to share for sexual pursuers and withdrawers.

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mistrust is part of the change process." We long for things to change, for the negative cycle to shift and for us to achieve closeness and connection but it is SO normal for blocks to occur during this time. Join Laurie and George in this episode learning about blocks to sexual connection, common blocks for pursuers and withdrawers and tools to use when a block occurs. Our hosts encourage us to predict the blocks and create a plan for repair, honor the function of the protection and get more comfortable in exploring the fear underneath. A key takeaway is that we become myopic during the cycle. Success in closeness is illustrated by predicting your partner's block, and being flexible to their underlying need.

Check out our Sponsors:

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we ever get out of this place, this cycle? The answer is a resounding yes! Stage 1 in EFT works on de-escalating the negative cycle and creating more safety between partners. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual withdrawer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to go into the feeling, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, and how to ASK your partner for help. Sexual withdrawers may need: understanding, acceptance and reassurance. George and Laurie encourage us to be brave in these dark places because we are not supposed to be here alone!

Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th.

And check out our sponsors:

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After the negative cycle is de-escalated, couples have the opportunity to create a new positive cycle. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual pursuer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to get the timing right, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, what you need from your partner and how to ask for it! Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th. 

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Welcome listeners to another great episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Recently, Laurie read the book, "The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding Male Sexuality" by sex therapist,Daniel Watter and it sparked a conversation between Laurie and George. Low desire, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus are classified as sexual disorders that disrupt sexual function. The discussion by our hosts encourages us to explore further what our genitalsare saying when they are not "functioning" to standard. This existential approach allows us to explore beyond disorder and ways the body may be protecting itself during sex. This could signify untreated anxiety, relational distress or a new developmental stagethat is creating a crisis in a partnership. For example, after the birth of a child a relationship experiences a developmental crisis as it shifts from a partnership to parenting and caretaking of a child. It is often during these developmental changes thatnegative cycles are formed due to the change in the relationship. This is an innovative lens to look through and we hope you love this episode as much as we did!

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Uberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to episode #382 of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Join Laurie and George in a discussion on re-engagement of the sexual withdrawer. In this episode, Laurie shares about recent work she has been doing with a couple as the sexual withdrawer is taking new risks in the relationship. Laurie shares that when the sexual withdrawer begins to re-engage they are getting in touch with their own internal cues, examining the space between in how they communicate about sex ("I don't orgasm through intercourse alone. I worry my partner doesn't like my smell."), and get really specific about sexual technique. The SW expresses a LOT of vulnerability here as they express to their partner what they like sexually and what turns them on. Listen to George and Laurie as they discuss new moves in the sexual cycle and their hope for the sexual withdrawer.

Please check out our fantastic sponsors!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Sometimes popping two gummies on vacation helps us have really great sex!" "I really need that glass of wine to get me in the mood!" "Smelling alcohol on your breath is such a turnoff!" As couples and sex therapists, we've talked to thousands of partners about how alcohol and substances affect their relationships. Sometimes couples report that alcohol is a major block to sexual connection, others share that it can help them get out of their heads and make sex more enjoyable. In your relationship, is alcohol a gas pedal or a brake? Meaning it turns you on and helps with desire, arousal, orgasm or it shuts you down and you withdraw from sex. If seeing your partner drunk is a sexual brake, you may feel rejected by their advances because they wouldn't typically act like that sober. If alcohol is a gas pedal, you may feel your inhibition lower and it's more comfortable to access thoughts about sex and connection to your body. Listen to this episode as George and Laurie discuss the function of alcohol in sex and relationships and what you may need to explore underneath if it is a gas pedal or brake. Our hosts approach this topic with non-judgement and are explicit that alcohol and substance use runs on a wide spectrum and affects people in many ways. We know this may open up myriad reactions from our listeners and we welcome your feedback! As always, thank you for listening and keep it hot, y'all!

Check out our sponsors!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"If couples can talk more about sex, they end up having better sex." G drops this great quote in this episode. We all have sexual scripts based on what we learned about sex in our families, cultures and societies. These contextual factors can cause us to either be very open, neutral or avoidant when talking about sex. Listen to Laurie and George roleplay a conversation between a sexual withdrawer and sexual pursuer that at first initiates a negative cycle but then works on a repair conversation. As a sexual pursuer, your excitement about the act may lead you wanting to talk about it afterwards. You're really wanting to hear and share about the experience with your lover. A sexual withdrawer may just want to bask in the afterglow and can start to feel the pressure to 'get it right' in that conversation. We also take into account what is happening physiologically after sex. Arousal is a disinhibitor, wherein we feel more free to let go and let pleasure take over. After sex, when no longer aroused you may be feeling more vulnerable as you come back to the self and might not be ready for the debrief. If you enjoy this episode and others make sure to leave us a review or follow us on Instagram for more content to keep it hot!

Check out our great Sponsors!

Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay60 and get 60% off your first order! And free shipping. What a deal!

Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just like in therapy, we learn just as much from our listeners as you learn from us! A few weeks ago, we put out a request on our Instagram feed, @foreplay_sextherapypodcast for listeners to send us their best sex tips. Let us just say that, you DID.NOT. disappoint!! On this episode, George and Laurie read through some of the tips submitted: from being more intentional, to building anticipation and celebrating gray sweatpants season, this is a super fun and informative episode. Make sure to listen and share with your partner for some fresh ideas to keep it hot!

Sponsor:

Factormeals.com/foreplay50 and use code foreplay50 to get 50% off your first box

Cozyearth.com- 35% off site wide when you use the code FOREPLAY

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Welcome listeners! This episode centers on using Viagra or other medication to help with erectile dysfunction and if they are addictive. Join George and Laurie as they discuss the prescription medication, the reasons behind erectile dysfunction and danger signs to look out for. A key theme of the episode is communication with your partner around the use of Viagra. Make sure to catch this episode to have your burning questions answered and hear Laurie shine as our resident Sexpert! What questions about sex and relationships do you have? Make sure to visit our website and submit questions to our mailbag. If you find our podcast helpful please make sure to leave us a review and share!

Please check out (and buy from!) our great sponsors:

Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!

Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Picture this, you walk in from a hard, stressful day at work and finally see your partner--your person. You say to them, "Honey, today was such a hard day. Everything went wrong. It was really bad." Your partner replies with, "Well, look on the bright side you're home and your job helps us keep this beautiful roof over our heads." Your body deflates a little. Your partner just brightsided you when you were really hoping for a little sympathy and comfort. This is defined as 'Toxic Positivity': an experience where someone shares something along a negative vein and the responder replies with the brightside, silver lining or overt positivity. In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how toxic positivity affects interactions between partners, why partners might anchor towards using it and how it causes disconnection in relationships. Listeners will take away intent v. impact, and how partners can shift from avoidance of negative emotion to connection through it and end up on the bright side together. If this shows up in your relationship either as the doer or receiver this episode is sure to spark a great conversation! Thanks for listening and keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great Sponsors:

Foria: Deeper, fuller pleasure with Foria's Awaken Arousal and Sex Oils. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY OR use code FOREPLAY at checkout

Check out our great sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code Foreplay to receive a 10% discount!

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

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CNN News Anchor Don Lemon recently baffled viewers on air when he said that women of a certain age are past their prime. His female co-hosts, mouth agape as Lemon doubled down on these claims. We at Foreplay felt compelled to respond to this unqualified remark. As therapists, we know that sexuality spans the life cycle and episode #376 challenges Lemon's antiquated notion as George and Laurie discuss sexuality as we age and the often invisible topic of Menopause. Women AND men do not want to miss this episode to learn more about menopause: when it starts, how long it lasts, changes to expect and tips on navigating body and sexual changes. We encourage men to be an active part of this process to help their wives cope with these changes and we emphasize the PAUSE piece. Women can see this as an opportunity to learn and explore their new body, ask what it needs, practice acceptance and find some freedom at this stage. Let us know what you think of the episode by leaving a review or sending us a DM on instagram. 

Check out our great sponsors:

Hello Fresh - Quick, easy, fun meals. In the hurly-burly of life, it's nice to have some meals ready to make that taste great! No more staring into the fridge wondering what to make!

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Building a Lasting Connection - The Couple Connection System is a fun, gamified way to deepen your communication, intimacy, and connection. It's fun and informative!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual discrepancies are common in relationships. While they occur to varying degrees, an inability to have safe and secure conversation on this topic with your partner can result in the formation of a negative sexual cycle. A dark cloud can form over this wonderful part of an intimate relationship and we risk sex being viewed as negative, rather than positive, loving and bonding. Inspired by a listener question, George and Laurie tackle the challenge of sexual discrepancy in this episode. This is a MUST LISTEN for couples that see the shift in their sexual worlds after becoming parents but don't know how to talk about it, have tried to talk about it before and it hasn't gone well, or might not have the energy to touch it with a ten foot pole! Both the partner that wants sex more often and the partner that may feel overwhelmed by how much they give to others will benefit from L & G's role play and come away with ways to say it better, express more vulnerability and face this dark cloud together. Sexual discrepancy is not an ending, it's an opportunity! 

Check out our sponsors!

Factor -- Fresh, quick, delicious! What more could you want from a prepped meal. Nothing to chop, nothing to prepare, just pop it in the microwave and you're ready. Flavor packed with any kind of menu you could want -- keto, vegan, and everything between. Use the code 'foreplay50' for 50% off your first meal.

Uberlube -- the best sexual lubricant on the market! Laurie's been recommending Uberlube for years; smooth, silky, silcone-based so that you don't have to worry about the problems of oil-based lubricants. Use the code 'foreplay' for your discount!

All you therapists out there! Come to our 2-day training on integrating the sexual and emotional cycles. How and when to bring up the sexual cycle, supercharge you couples work with Unleash the Power of Sex in EFT. Click here to find out more!

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Allow me to introduce you to Dear Albie, a podcast hosted by Albie Manzo. And with the help of family and friends, he tries to answer old (and new) advice questions as best he can. Relationships, sex, etiquette, dead dogs, bored housewives, honeymoon protocol — and everything in between. The advice show you never knew you needed — every week, wherever you get your podcasts, and on the Cloud10 and iHeart Radio networks.

Listen on Apple & Spotify

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Listeners, Valentine's Day is upon us and Laurie and George have compiled a great list of gifts and ideas both romantic and spicy to help you celebrate the day. If you're groaning over it being a commercialized holiday, we invite you to remember this can be a valuable day to celebrate your bond and try out some new moves. If you're looking for some unique date ideas, ways to express how you feel about your love or some fun products to try out make sure to download this episode to get in the mood. Share this with your lover and talk about whether you want a naughty or nice (or both) Valentine's Day!

Check out our fantastic sponsors:

Foria -- These oils help enhance a woman's orgasm! Field tested by Laurie's crew. Use the link and get 20% off!

Cozy Earth - The softest sheets we've ever slept in. Great V-Day gift to your lover. Use the code 'Foreplay' and get 35% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In EFT couples therapy, De-escalation is the first step in helping couples join against their negative cycle. A couple that is working on de-escalation works to identify their repeated move when they feel triggered, see their partner’s move and understand that it is a protection. Giving that move some permission. Lastly and most importantly, to turn and share this with their partner. During this stage in therapy, we can expect that this may result in a negative cycle. And while we don’t like that, we know it’s part of the process and because that cycle is so automatic. To gain success, couples therapists support partners in making micro moves to contribute to a new positive cycle. Couples and couples therapists will gain great knowledge from this episode and listening to Laurie and George’s role play that works through de-escalating a negative sexual cycle.

Please check out our sponsors:

Cosy Earth -- the softest sheets you'll ever feel; you'll want to be naked between these sheets for sure! You can receive 35% off site wide by using the code 'Foreplay'!

UberLube -- Uberlube is our favorite personal lubricant. Smooth and silky it enhances your time together. Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Performance based sex is problematic for couples. A focus on performance can create anxiety. Sex is being thought about in the head (how long will my erection last? Are they liking this? My partner doesn't feel aroused, does that mean I don't turn them on?) rather than experienced in the body. Partners that focus on performance during sex are motivated by approval rather than intimacy and pleasure. Of course the sounds or faces our lovers make during the act are approving, inviting and exciting but if we focus solely on those reactions our nervous systems can go into a tailspin if there isn't a match. So, how do we take sex from performance focused to a more embodied experience? This episode addresses just that! Listen to George and Laurie discuss how to name the pressure, talk about it safely and help one another's bodies relax to get fully online for sex or come up with a different solution if sex isn't going to happen. Great lovers are relaxed and we have better results when we work on this together rather than in isolation.

Check out our great sponsors:

Uberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Cozy Earth - These are the softest, sexiest sheets! So soft you'll want to be naked. They have pillows too! Check them out for a fun, long-lasting Valentine's gift. Use the code 'Foreplay' for 35% off sitewide!

Factor - Factor takes the stress out of healthy living. They provide fresh, ready-prepared meals that support even the busiest of lifestyles! They shop, prep, cook, and deliver to your door for you so you can experience the benefits of clean eating without the hassle. Quick and easy! And delicious! Get 60% off your first box by clicking here!

ZocDoc - You'll be able to find a specialist that you need, when you need it. ZocDoc is an app that will direct you to the exact medical specialist you need without a hassle. Try out the app today. Use the code 'Foreplay' so they know we sent you!

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Disillusionment, despair, hopelessness. Many couples that find themselves in a sexless marriage experience these heavy emotions. These emotions can turn into depressed moods, overarching negative outlook on life and consistent feelings of failure. Assigning blame to your partner for either not wanting or wanting too much sex is often a strategy that is utilized to avoid this level of pain. Unfortunately, the blame continues to push partners away from each other and towards more disconnection. In this episode, Laurie and George create a safe space to allow individuals and couples to explore this pain,and shift away from blame and avoidance. Their role play will help you understand yourself and your partner better and is a great jumping off point to deepening the conversation around sexual discrepancies.

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Listeners join George and Laurie as they break down exactly what a squirting orgasm is and how it differs from female ejaculation, and the how to’s of it. Here are some great takeaways: there needs to be a LOT of stimulation from the G spot to achieve squirting, if you don’t experience squirting orgasms your orgasms are not less than, don’t put too much pressure on trying to make your partner squirt! This is the sex education none of us got but we’re always curious about!

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Happy New Year listeners! In this episode we are talking about sexual secrets: when to share with your partner and when to withhold. A sexual secret might look like a hot fantasy, a memorable sexual encounter with a past lover or a desire to explore sexually. Laurie and George guide listeners in their conversation on the healthy drive behind the secret and pros and cons of sharing or withholding. Our hosts put an emphasis on timing, good judgement and the risks and benefits associated. The erotic mind is always at work and this helps increase vitality and creativity. We still need to protect our relationship and consider, will sharing this secret draw my partner closer or push them away? Disclaimer: this episode is not about affair relationships!

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We can’t help but get swept up in fervor of the New Year energy! Join Laurie and George for a great conversation on how to have a successful year end sexual check-in with your partner. These conversations are so important for your relationship because they help create more intentionality and when we are more intentional in our partnerships we improve the sexual and emotional connection. Here are some great tips from the episode: Create safety to have the conversation, celebrate your wins from the previous year, acknowledge each other’s triggers, focus on wants and wishes not complaints and make it FUN! Happy New Year to all our listeners and a special thanks to our Patreon members and sponsors for helping us carry out our mission to improve the sexual connection in relationships. Cheers to keeping it hot in 2023!

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The negative cycle creates gridlock with couples because it is all about protection. Protection of what? The protection of unmet needs. In this episode, George and Laurie help listeners get clearer on the needs and attachment longings that lie under the surface. Voicing our needs requires A LOT of vulnerability which is often when they aren’t met, they trigger our protective behaviors and we become locked in a negative cycle. Partners that use both pursuing and withdrawing strategies will feel so validated by this episode as you learn to understand your need, value your protection and work to share vulnerability with the one you love. Download the episode today and share it with someone that would benefit from this information! (Episode Link)

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Rocket Money -- finally an app that allows you to track (and cancel unused!) online subscriptions! Save money this holiday season that's just going down the drain! Rocketmoney.com/FOREPLAY

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Jealousy is difficult to feel. I should trust my partner, I should be more confident. Even I don’t know what to do with my insecurity - it makes me feel ashamed. 

George suggests that jealousy is data from the body. It’s a signal that you feel vulnerable. We recognize our partner’s attractiveness. What we do with this feeling can actually increase the bond between us and our partner if we learn to ask for reassurance.

The problem is a jealous encounter may cause a partner to feel accused of doing something wrong. George and Laurie role-play it the escalated and triggered way. Then, they demo a more secure and protected way of sharing these feelings and getting the comfort that adds to the couple connection.

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In this episode Laurie and George respond to a question from a listener asking for their help. Our listener shares that they took a risk to bring something spicy into lovemaking and it was a complete miss with their partner. With a little humor and lots of validation, Laurie and George offer supportive advice about what to do when this happens. We know that when misses occur repair is key. Listen to tips here on how to successfully repair and how to be vulnerable with feelings of rejection.

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Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

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The Beatles said it best when they sang, "Money Can't Buy Me Love," however finances are a top source of conflict between couples and in this episode our hosts focus on money and the meaning it makes in your life. Join George and Laurie as they discuss money as a competing attachment. EFTers define a competing attachment as a "third," or something outside of a couple relationship that pulls attention away from the partnership in an unhealthy way. Couples then use withdrawing or pursuing strategies to bring awareness to the disconnection created by the competing attachment and a cycle forms. If you've never thought about your relationship with money, we invite you to download the episode and use the attachment lens to explore your relationship with money, the meaning it makes for you and how it affects your partnership.u

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Rev is often a word you associate with a car engine, but did you know that REV is the acronym you need to improve your ability to listen to your partner better? REV stands for Reflect, Evocative Questions and Validation. Trust us when we tell you that REV simplifies and structures how to listen to your partner and helps conversations stay out of the conflict zone and more connected and loving. Download this episode and share it widely as listening is the most underutilized communication skill!

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In this episode, our hosts breakdown the 5 Dimensions of Touch, from an article written by renowned sex therapist Barry McCarthy, PhD. George and Laurie guide us through the different dimensions: Affectionate touch, sensual touch, playful touch, erotic touch and intercourse. These 5 dimensions are NOT a linear roadmap to intercourse rather ways to increase touch between couples. Hosts provide examples of each and make it possible for couples to explore different levels and kinds of touch and how to have those important conversations to share what feels good, and what doesn’t with your partner. You can check out the original article here:  http://bit.ly/3V7rCD8 and make sure to download the episode for more!

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Not only are our hosts here to provide good information but to dispel bad information. This week’s episode is all about premature ejaculation: the facts, busting myths, and the six-month protocol that couples can follow to fix it! If premature ejaculation has plagued your sexual world then you are going to want to download this episode and listen with your partner. You will be relieved to know that there is relief for the 40% of men that have been afflicted by PE. And men, you don’t exist in relationships alone, premature ejaculation affects the partner’s in your life too. Left untreated it runs the risk of creating a deep disconnection in your relationship. This episode provides clarity, a starting point and helps to reduce the shame around this all too common problem.

Thank you to our sponsors for their support in our mission!

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Timing is everything and for many, well most of us, we’ve all experienced poor timing. If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you most likely have a memory of a time when your partner shared something, you asked a question and it didn’t go over so well. An argument ensues and you’re both left with emotional whiplash. Download this episode to hear George and Laurie’s take on timing, why it goes south (from a neuroscience standpoint) and how to get it back on track. A bit of a spoiler but here is a gem from the episode: Is what you are about to say/do add or take away? Hear our hosts as they help listeners be more intentional about timing and how to recover when timing is off.

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Prompted by a listener question, Laurie and George discuss resentment in relationships. Resentment is often seen as a relationship killer, but our hosts ask the audience to give permission to that feeling and listen for the deeper longing. Resentment forms as a result of unspoken and unshared pain and the attachment meaning we make. A sexual pursuer in a relationship may develop resentment over years of hoping for more sex and it not happening. Our hosts discuss viewing resentment as a form of grief. Reframing resentment as grief, creates some space to see and hold pain and share it with your partner. If we make space for that grief, we will also create space for joy over the things that we get and really work in the relationship. There is choice in resentment.If you have found yourself holding resent in your relationship, you’ll want to make sure to download this episode!

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Attention Couples Therapists, you're going to want to listen to this episode! Laurie and George role play a therapy session to help understand the world of the emotional withdrawer in the sexual cycle. Emotional withdrawers want to remain positive to support the relationship but when the emotional heat turns up they often turn away. If you are having difficulty engaging a withdrawer in the emotional cycle we encourage you to PIVOT! We find that withdrawers often flip to become pursuers in the sexual cycle. If therapists avoid naming the pain that lies in the sexual disconnection they may miss an opportunity to help them share their vulnerability with their partner. We focus on creating A LOT of safety for both partners and deeply honoring the defense systems that have been created to manage pain. While we know this episode will help the therapists in our community, partners will also benefit! We are helping to get safety in the sexual cycle so you can keep it hot!

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Did you know that 10% of sexual encounters with intimate partners go badly? Join Laurie and George for this episode where they discuss strategies partners can use when sexual situations go awry. Our hosts share a bit of vulnerability as well and moments in their own lives when pressure, expectation and disappointment got the best of them. We want you to feel confident with your partners that you can pivot when you have failures. Strategies include using playful humor to encourage reconnection, meaningful conversation to process disappointment together and slowness to create opportunities for understanding. You can give your relationship some permission to get it wrong so you can keep it hot!

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Here we are at the wedding night. After months, maybe years of planning, the special day is finally here. This episode is about sexpectations on the wedding night. Did you know over 50% of couples don’t have sex on their wedding night? Exhaustion and too many reception cocktails are often the culprit for this miss BUT are engaged couples having conversations about wedding night sexpectations before the big day? Hear George and Laurie talk about the importance of having these conversations and negotiating together what your idea of wedding night sex looks like. You may want to take stress off yourselves and save sex for the honeymoon, you may want to explore what your B.E.S.T sex looks like. Either way, we hope couples will reduce pressure to get it perfect on their wedding night. When we make these implicit conversations explicit, we can avoid disappointment and resentment taking space in what is otherwise a joyous union. Healthy sex conversations to help you keep it hot, right from the start!

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Uberlube is the best lubricant on the market! Laurie has been recommending it to her clients for over 20 years. Order at uberlube.com with the code foreplay!

Foria has sex oils that enhance a woman's orgasm! The reports from Laurie's clients give Foria's products 5 stars. Go to Foria for 20% off at foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY or use code FOREPLAY at checkout to receive 20% off your order. 

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"Am I too much? Will I always hunger for this connection?" If these are common questions you've asked yourself while stuck in a negative cycle with your partner you may be a sexual pursuer. Join George and Laurie in today's episode where they discuss new ways sexual pursuers can communicate their needs in Stage--2 of EFT. In Stage 2 the couple is aware of their negative cycle and understanding of the good reasons they have been missing each other. Stage 2 is the creation of a positive cycle that is focused on understanding, connection and expression of needs. The work of the sexual pursuer in Stage 2 is to soften the expression of those needs--rather than using criticism to express the felt rejection, working towards expressing with vulnerability. George and Lauri's role play will provide reassurance that new conversations and getting needs met are possible as couples are working together against the cycle in a new cycle that fosters closeness and connection.

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We've discussed the negative sexual cycle couples get stuck in and highlight just how important it is to name and tame it. As EFT therapists we know that de-escalating the cycle is the first step in moving partners from fighting one another to fighting the cycle together. In today's episode we are talking about Stage 2 in EFT and the creation of a new, positive cycle. [Insert episode link] In stage two, the cycle is de-escalated, partners feel more on the same team and there is safety to begin exploring and expressing needs and longings to your partner. George and Laurie role play the needs a sexual withdrawer might have and the new moves they make to share with their sexual pursurer. In the role play, George comes away with three possible moves for the newly reengaged sexual withdrawer: permission to not be interested in sex tonight, reassurance if they struggle during sex and celebration if they are successful. If you are a sexual withdrawer you definetely want to listen to this episode. And pursuers, we didn't forget you at all! We see how hard you work for the relationship and thank you for your patience. As you hear Laurie say, "Don't tell me to calm down!" We'll be back next week to talk all about pursuers in Stage 2!

Don't forget to join us on October 28th at our Great Love, Great Sex virtual couples retreat. Register at www.foreplayrst.com under the resources tab. We can't wait to see you there!

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We’ve talked about the cycle before and we’re talking about it again. This time we explore what EFT calls Stage 2. Why? because after de-escalating conflict there’s more to do to get closer with your partner! Join Laurie and George for this episode to understand how your moves and your partners moves impact one another and the deeper, unseen meanings they have. When we start to understand the good reasons we are missing each other there is opportunity to connect. Does your partner’s criticism represent their hope for the relationship? Does their silence mean they are trying to keep the pressure low? Hear how we flip the script to help you keep it hot!!

Hey therapists, do you need help understanding and de-escalating the sexual cycle for your couple clients? We hope you’ll meet us on March 3 & 4th 2023 (date change) for our training on this topic.

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What is your body communicating? During one of our most essential episodes, Laurie and George discuss the value of bringing attention and awareness into our bodies. Emotions show up physically and send out signals. It’s been reported that anger often shows up as a headache, anxiety as tension in the chest and throat, sadness as a caving in sensation, happiness as a whole-body warmth. When partners have more awareness of what shows up physically they increase their ability to slow down in the face of conflict and also connect more with their sexual selves. Bringing the body on board reflects our holistic mission to integrate the mind, heart and body.

Try this exercise today to tune into what your body is communicating to you: Sit comfortably, find stillness and recall a time when you felt hurt/shut down/rejected by your partner. Where does that show up on your body? Now recall a time where your partner turned to you during pain/comforted you/expressed how meaningful you are to them. Slow down and notice what is there. Let us know in the comments what you observed. We’re right on this journey with you! Keep it hot and get into the body!

Join Laurie and George for their Great Sex, Great Love virtual retreat on October 28th. Partners can expect to learn more about listening to what your body is saying and how to share it with your love!

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The million maybe billion-dollar question: how do we increase low sexual desire in women? Laurie and George discuss what is shutting down sexual desire in women. George gets it right by saying women often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. And Laurie discusses their disconnection to their own sexual needs. Click on the link below to hear Laurie and George address blocks to sexual desire and their lifelike roleplay of how this affects a couple’s dynamic. Laurie puts on her therapist hat and the work is pure magic! Sexual withdrawers will feel so validated listening to this episode.

Check out our sponsor OMGYES.com for fantastic information about how to get her to climax. Tastefully crafted information that is research-based and rock solid. Visit omgyes.com/foreplay for more information!

Don’t forget to join us on October 28th for our Great Sex, Great Love virtual couples retreat. If your relationship is good but needs some extra attention or you and your partner want to learn how to deepen your sexual connection, we hope to see you there!

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Listen to a caller who leaves us a message about her husband telling her he thinks she’s too heavy to be attractive. Laurie and George work through their own reaction and anger at this painful message to our listener. We question the narrowness of her partner’s focus on a minimal change (she’s young and fit) as opposed to having a broader view of eroticism that includes her body, her spirit, her heart, and her mind. If you ever wanted to hear George get hot under the collar with pursuer energy and righteous anger.. here’s a good episode.

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So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Orif sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why.

Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas:

• the relationship - especially lack of communication,
• worry areas – disgust about certain sex acts, poor body image, or fear about not pleasing their partner
• pleasure – loss of interest when she doesn’t climax or experience pleasure

George and Laurie discuss these areas and role play an initial conversation as a couple talking about her sexual blocks.

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In our world with its focus on physical perfection, we all have aspects of our body which we criticize, and even avoid looking at in the mirror. These critical thoughts can intrude before, during, and after sex, diminishing our ability to be in the moment with our partner. We talk through this thorny issue as an example of how to begin to address it with your partner.

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Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex.

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