Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Psychological defenses are subconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from uncomfortable emotions, and they exert a hidden power over our behavior. From denial and repression to projection and rationalization, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how these defenses shape our actions, influence our relationships, and affect our overall well-being.

They start with the function and structure of most defenses, before giving a few simple examples. Rick then dives into the role of defenses in psychoanalytic theory, their role in managing self-worth and shame, and what we can do to become less defensive over time. They close with practical strategies for working with our defenses, including a brief discussion of what we can do to help other people with their defenses.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:30: Psychological and historical factors influencing psychological defensiveness

8:00: Some examples of unconscious anxiety bubbling up

12:00: Repression, regression, projection, reaction formation, and sublimation

16:55: An overview of Freud’s developmental model of the personality

24:10: A few examples of how our defenses manifest

33:40: Consciousness, competence, and joining the defense

44:00: Navigating shame and guilt

50:15: Distress tolerance

57:15: Social connection, and finding healthy outlets

1:00:20: When and how to approach others about their defensiveness

1:10:45: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest finish their series on the stress responses with the fawn response: an appeasement strategy where we manage stressful situations by giving others what they want. Rick and Forrest start by discussing common symptoms, including people pleasing, self-abandonment, difficulty saying no, weak boundaries, and chronic self-sacrifice. They talk about the roots of the fawn response and its connection to complex PTSD before exploring people pleasing in detail. In the second half of the episode they focus on practical tools for developing healthy boundaries, self-acceptance, and a stronger sense of self.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

2:15: What the fawn response looks like

9:05: Power imbalances, shame, and contempt

11:35: What personal history tends to lead to fawning?

20:00: How to work on the tendency to fawn

36:30: Shame, self-acceptance, and opening up to self-expression

41:25: The fawn response in relationship

46:40: Becoming your own source of safety

52:20: Making equitable arrangements, and acknowledging your best efforts

1:01:50: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic trauma therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can create more secure relationships. They talk about the lessons they've learned from their relationship, the impact of trauma and prior relationship wounds, and how very different people can make things work. Topics include complex PTSD, how to work through disagreements, changing our model of relationships, and learning how to actually support your partner.

I loved this conversation, and hope you enjoy it!

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:10: The myth of relationships solving your problems, and self-awareness

4:25: Me, you, and us

13:45: Changing your partner by changing yourself

16:45: Embracing the challenges of vulnerability

23:25: Disagreeing well, making specific requests, and holding space

33:05: Learning how to support your partner

37:40: Five different styles of relationship

40:55: Moving from trying to please your partner to showing compassion

45:15: Love as a choice, and expressing wants and needs positively

49:30: Simply liking your partner

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how to deal with chronically negative people, managing avoidant tendencies that get in the way of us finding a great relationship, and separating normal desires for support from more problematic ones. They then talk about how we can build self-confidence and become more internally referenced, before closing the episode with a sticky situation involving supporting an aging parent. 

If you’d like to send in a question to be answered on the podcast, join our Patreon or email us at contact@beingwellpodcast.com.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:00: My friend is chronically negative, what can I do?

13:05: How can I move past a cycle of avoidance that’s inhibiting my ability to find a good relationship?

26:05: I want to be supported by my partner, but I’m worried about becoming enmeshed. How can I seek help in a healthy way?

39:30: How do I stop seeking validation from others?

45:20: How do I react to ongoing criticism from an aging parent?

58:15: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore “manifesting:” the idea that our thoughts impact the world around us, and by changing those thoughts we can change our lives. Talking about manifesting is complicated, because on the one hand our thoughts really do matter. On the other, manifesting is closely tied to a small mountain of problematic pseudoscience. They discuss and debate some of the issues with manifesting and the law of attraction before focusing on how to apply key psychological principles to create the life you want. 

Rick and Forrest talk about creating clarity around our goals, setting intentions, improving self-worth and self-efficacy, and overcoming some of the negative unconscious beliefs that can get in our way, before exploring authenticity, consistent effort, and working with fear and inhibition. Then Rick closes the episode by walking us through a practical example of how to change a belief.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:00: Defining manifestation, and separating psychological and supernatural mechanisms of action

6:55: The mind-body connection, and the psychological aspects of manifesting

15:50: Charlatanism, preying on uncertainty, and the problems with the law of attraction

25:20: Changing behavior vs. changing thoughts, and the lure of the supernatural

32:10: If you want to skip the context, start here.

32:35: Getting what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of, and “don’t know” mind

38:50: Identifying wants, surrendering to the best within us, and using pain as a guide

48:55: Embracing the reality of consistent effort

54:55: How to change a negative belief

1:08:10: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss the “flight” response to stress, which includes feelings of anxiety and fear, avoidant behavior, and an underlying sense of insecurity. They explore the emotions and behaviors associated with the flight response, and how we can build up a stronger, more secure sense of who we are. Rick shares some practical tools that will help you change your self-concept, safely apply principles from graduated exposure, and feel safer from the inside-out.

I’ve loved this series on the stress responses, and think you’ll get a lot out of this episode.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: The purpose of the flight response, and when it is and isn’t useful

5:35: Social withdrawal, conflict avoidance, and preserving safety vs. comfort

12:15: The trouble with low likelihood, high-cost risks

16:35: Exploring our capacity for stress, and identifying the risks worth taking

26:30: Feeling “sturdy,” and why we choose the flight response vs. other stress responses

33:30: Graduated exposure 

39:05: Learning to trust our new capabilities as we change

44:50: Overdoing a change as a form of self-sabotage, and reserving the power to flee

54:25: Responding to anxiety

1:01:40: Being present with painful situations we can’t escape

1:08:40: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest continue their series on the stress responses with the “fight” response to stress. They explore anger, repression, and the balance of self-expression and self-regulation before talking about how we can claim the adaptive aspects of the fight response without falling prey to its more problematic aspects. A major focus of the episode is resentment and repression, alongside related topics like empowering yourself, managing expectations, and “experiencing out.”

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: The useful aspects of anger

5:40: Specific behaviors associated with the fight response

8:35: Giving yourself permission to express anger

13:40: Navigating resentment

21:40: Thwarted expectations as a source of unhealthy anger

32:05: Claiming your anger, and being wary of its seductive nature

35:45: Developing an authentic sense of empowerment

39:45: Going from complaint to request

43:30: Antidotes to unhealthy anger

52:40: Challenging authority without feeling intimidated or shamed

54:20: When we’re angry at ourselves

59:00: Recap

I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this mega-episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore everything you need to know about therapy. They share how you can get more from therapy, finding the approach that’s right for you, and some perspectives on why therapy is so expensive. They then run through the five major schools of Western psychotherapy before discussing a few alternative modalities. You’ll learn how long to stick with a therapist before looking for alternatives, questions to ask a prospective therapist, and how to maximize your results.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: The biggest factors that contribute to therapy going well

7:25: Finding the therapeutic modality that works for you

14:00: The cost of therapy, and the problem created by insurance companies

20:35: The five major schools of western psychotherapy

21:20: Psychodynamic therapy, and investigating the unconscious

23:20: Behavioral therapy, and variable reinforcement

25:55: Humanistic psychology, and seeing the good in yourself

29:05: Cognitive therapy, why insurance companies like CBT, and exploring our beliefs

36:15: Mindfulness-based therapies, and being with our experiences

41:15: Family systems therapy, social justice, somatic therapy, and non-Western thinking

46:20: The differences (and similarities) between therapy and coaching

52:40: How long therapy should take, and how to evaluate if it’s working

1:02:15: The role of client motivation 

1:04:55: Questions to ask a prospective therapist

1:10:15: The importance of the therapist’s engagement

1:12:50: Common qualities Rick found challenging with past clients

1:16:05: The importance of internalizing change, and recognizing what’s really shifting

1:21:20: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic psychology legend Dr. Peter Levine joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how we can use body-based approaches to recover from traumatic experiences. Peter uses his personal history with trauma to illustrate the practices he’s taught to thousands of people through his work. They discuss the importance of resourcing experiences, creating safety, developing interoception, abandonment wounds, bringing a diverse perspective to somatic work, and working with shame. 

Please be aware that this episode includes a description of sexual assault.

About our Guest: Dr. Peter Levine is the creator of Somatic Experiencing and the Founder and President of the Ergos Institute for Somatic Education. He’s taught at a number of universities, has received Lifetime Achievement awards from numerous organizations, and is the best-selling author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, and his most recent book An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:15: Peter’s dream about publishing his recent book

6:40: Themes connecting the personal and professional for Peter

10:15: Physicalization, pendulation, and decontextualization of trauma

16:15: Presence with others, and moving gently into shame to move through it

20:55: The fundamental view that we our innately healthy, and completing the arc

23:05: When the prompt “feel it in your body” doesn’t work

28:15: Advice for when you don’t have access to therapy or a SEP practitioner

30:35: Tenderness

34:30: Anchoring in the here and now when accessing past memories

39:35: Conceiving of yourself as a source of safety

43:30: Generating your own internal wellbeing

46:20: Acknowledging the reality of your history, patience, and completion

49:45: Living by dying

52:15: Recap

Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

If you’re navigating something messy, call The Dr. John Delony Show. Dr. John shares practical advice on how to connect with people, face depression, overcome anxiety, and learn what it means to be well. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. 

Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore a huge topic: what can we do to recover from a difficult childhood as an adult? Rick introduces a three step process that can help us reclaim our past, identify the key needs we have these days, and internalize related positive experiences. They discuss related tools from psychology like releasing repressed emotions, claiming agency where we can, and changing what we emphasize in the story of our lives. If you had a hard time growing up, this one’s for you.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: Recovering from childhood wounds - Reclaim, Resupply, and Repair

7:00: Clarifying your personal narrative, and the importance of agency

12:25: How the unmet needs from your past impacts your present

18:25: Changing what we emphasize in the story we tell ourselves

28:50: Letting the fizz out of the bottle

32:20: Identifying the right medicine for your unresolved wounds 

38:00: How developing competency helps you break free from your past

41:50: Self-soothing through envisioning positive experiences

45:00: The process of letting go of the childhood you wish you had

57:50: Naming what you want from life, and the universal ground of being

1:02:00: Recap 

Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries.

About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is emotional immaturity?

7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms

14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers

18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy

25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self

29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood

41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self

50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships

56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance

1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base

1:06:20: Recap

Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more. 

About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s

4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities

8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world

14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication

23:25: The “strength of weak ties”

27:20: Self-concept and identity capital

30:30: What helps people take action

34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety

41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved

46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck

49:20: How to choose purpose

58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s

1:04:45: Recap

Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

 What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail. 

They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction 

1:15: Understanding stress responses

9:05: Stress responses in relationship

15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing

19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice

23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation

30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard

38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study

53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety

1:02:55: Recap

Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening!

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction 

1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational?

11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts?

21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system?

39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT?

55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through?

1:05:10: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Soonsors

Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction 

1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s

4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action

8:00: Embrace mentorship

13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values

21:30: Try things, and let yourself change

24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships)

27:35: Identify useful feedback

31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure

36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results

38:25: Focus on where you have agency

44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values

46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like

47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self

49:50: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction 

2:00: Common features of self-abandonment

12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen

16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism

21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others

33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity

40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense

50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness

55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs

58:50: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer. 

Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains.

About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit.

Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and disclaimer

2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program

6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior

11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower

18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring

24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning

31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise

36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating

44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer

52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception

57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer

1:07:45: Caring for our future self

1:11:30: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client

6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences

9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts

16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation

23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client

29:10: Titration and traumatic release

33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult”

40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client 

46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns

49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices

53:55: Finding a supportive community

57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity

58:55: Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it.

About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community. 

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages

5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability

11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics

19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships

25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker

33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change

36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs

41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met

46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time

48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood

52:00: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it. 

About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It. 

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book

7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you

12:05: Dealing with shame

14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions

24:40: Believing in your experience

27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD

31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation

36:05: Creating a sense of community

39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD

47:25: Recap 

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one!

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire

11:30: The story craving tells us

15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking

21:15: “21st century problems”

25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire

29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom

35:20: The search for the slightly better experience

42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here

47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience

59:25: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. 

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important skills we can learn: how we can become more aware of all the parts of our experience, avoid being captured by any one of them, and work with those parts more skillfully. One of the key tools we have for accomplishing this is vedanā, or the “feeling tone” of our experience. Author and meditation teacher Dr. Danny Penman joins the show to explore the role of vedanā, how we can help our brain interpret the world more accurately, and practical tools for relaxing suffering and enjoying life. 

About our Guest: Danny Penman is a meditation teacher, an award-winning writer and journalist, and the co-author of the classic Mindfulness with Dr. Mark Williams. Dr. Williams was one of the original creators of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mark and Danny are back with the new book Deeper Mindfulness: The New Way to Rediscover Calm in a Chaotic World. 

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: How a major injury started Danny’s professional relationship with mindfulness practice

10:45: Vedanā, and unpacking the different aspects of our experience

18:20: The sensations that precede our thoughts

24:45: How the brain creates a model of reality, and whether that model is accurate

29:40: How an undisciplined relationship with feeling tone creates unnecessary suffering

37:00: Accepting a feeling vs. approving of a situation

44:10: Practical steps to feeling our feelings

48:00: Finding enjoyment in new habits, especially somatically

57:50: Recap

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. How can we understand and support someone going through a mental health crisis? Is meditation enough to heal trauma? And what can we do about family members that just won’t change? You’ll learn why offering help isn’t always helpful, how to deal with unskillful feedback, and approaches that help with setting and achieving long-term goals.

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: Question #1 - How can I support a friend who is going through a mental health crisis?

7:10: What’s a “psychotic break,” and being careful with clinical terminology. 

12:00: Question #2 - Is it possible to heal trauma through meditation alone?

20:25: Question #3 - How do I start again when I’ve fallen off the wagon?

27:30: Question #4 - Is feedback necessary for growth? And what kind of feedback is helpful?

33:10: Question #5 - How can I improve my relationship with money?

42:20: Question #6 - I’m very frustrated with a family member who just won’t change their bad behavior. What can I do?

54:05: Recap

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, to explore how we can integrate all the aspects of who we are. They explain the IFS model, the nature of parts and their roles, and how we can use this knowledge to increase self-awareness and deal with common problems. Then Rick and Dr. Schwartz dive deep into the nature of the “Self,” where it comes from, and how we can tune into and strengthen it.

This was a wide-ranging conversation, and we were thrilled to have Dr. Schwartz on the podcast again. You won’t want to miss this one.

About our Guest: Dr. Richard “Dick” Schwartz is the creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, and has authored a number of books and over fifty articles focused on IFS. His newest book is No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model.

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:15: Quick explanation of the IFS Model

6:45: Releasing the “Self”

11:10: Where does the Self come from?

16:00: How the practical side of IFS connects to the spiritual

23:20: The four goals of IFS, and parts of parts

26:15: Becoming your own attachment figure

32:15: Richard’s experience integrating his exiled parts

37:25: Personification in IFS. Why think in terms of “parts”? 

46:15: Why befriend our “bad” parts?

49:55: The non-pathologizing nature of IFS in a clinical framework

55:25: First and second darts

57:15: Identifying parts with curiosity, courage, and physical awareness

1:03:25: How asking yourself questions gets you in touch with your intuition

1:12:45: Recap

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Forrest and Dr. Buqué talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. They focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns. 

About our Guest: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like The Today Show and Good Morning America. She’s the author of the new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and host of the podcast by the same name.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: What drew Mariel to this work

10:25: How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma 

17:00: Common patterns of her clients

20:00: Most people’s initial motivation to find healing

24:45: Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems

33:20: Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns

39:40: Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve

44:05: Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you

47:40: Creating an intergenerational trauma tree

55:00: Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open

58:00: The shortcomings of the western medical outlook

1:00:45: Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response

1:06:15: Values and healthy pride

1:08:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest kick off 2024 by exploring how we can relate to the past, plan for the future, and get more from the year ahead. They talk about different approaches to New Years, the tactics that maximize your chances of achieving a goal, and a simple four question system for reflecting on and learning from the year that was. You'll learn how to create useful resolutions, put 2023 into perspective, and set yourself up for success in the year to come!

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:05: Rick's approach to New Year’s resolutions

4:05: Going from being to doing to having

10:15: Four questions to ask yourself around the New Year

22:00: A S.M.A.R.T. way to put New Year’s resolutions into form

25:45: Bottom-up intentions, and the feeling of a completed intention

29:15: Trying different somatic cues for embodying an intention

32:00: Finding your allies, not oversharing your goals, and physically declaring priorities

40:45: Getting on your own side

51:40: Recap

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Elizabeth welcome listeners into their home to talk about their changing relationship with the holidays, letting go of the past, healthy boundaries, glimmers, and different paths to taking in the good. Along the way they talk about different approaches to working with trauma, connecting with the body, and getting on our own side.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Elizabeth’s history with the holidays, and claiming your own rituals

5:20: Experiencing the holidays without an agenda

10:15: Glimmers in Polyvagal Theory

14:10: Working with a challenging relationship history

21:35: Somatic psychology, and respecting the mind

28:40: Regulating through movement 

31:55: Staying yourself inside of your family

38:45: Enjoying agency, and emphasizing beauty

42:30: Entrapment and defeat, awareness, and saying no

47:15: Attachment, contracting around desire, and taking a moment for yourself

51:20: A practice of finding glimmers

55:35: Self-compassion and camaraderie during the holidays

Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick joins Forrest for a deep dive into harnessing our natural generativity. How can we become more productive and creative, experience greater satisfaction, and lean into our biological drives to get more of what we want out of life?

They explore what a drive is, our natural drive states, and what we can learn from models of motivation like self-determination theory, before moving on to what we can do if generativity doesn’t come naturally to us. Rick and Forrest share how we can lean into enjoyable experiences, feel more competent and autonomous, and learn to brave experiences of failure. The second half of the episode focuses on psychological tools that help us activate, enjoy, and hang out in generative states more often.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:10: Rick's ability to stay generative.

3:25: Motivation, aggression, and our interdependence with others

12:10: A theoretical framework for generative drive 

14:50: The process of making something as a form of healing

19:30: Confidence, autonomy, and relatedness

23:55: The way we think of ourselves

28:10: Agency, and what we can and cannot influence

34:30: Comfort with aggression

40:55: Work ethic, the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding your why

47:45: Competency and flow

50:55: Having positive associations with effort

57:10: Enriching vs. absorbing our experience

1:01:30: The little things that make a big difference

1:04:30: Recap

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re getting toward the end of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to evaluate where we are and where we’d like to go. On today's episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can step out of the way we've been, and into a new way of thinking, doing, and being. 

They talk about self-concept, unconscious beliefs, and how those beliefs affect our behavior. Forrest then shares a model of what this kind of change tends to look like practically, which usually includes relax our attachment to the things that are holding us back. Other topics include getting down to "the tip of the root," taking a step back from our narratives, challenging limiting beliefs, taking life less personally, working with discouragement, and finding motivation and drive. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: Self-concept, how unconscious beliefs affect behavior, and freedom

5:40: Appraisals and attributions

9:35: The way we spin our self-narrative, and holding onto grievances

14:25: Being honest with ourselves when we feel stuck

19:30: Changing behavior before changing thinking

25:15: Values and behaviors

29:05: Underlying fears and practical confusion

33:50: Taking your experiences less personally

36:05: Finding the motivation to get our hands dirty

41:30: Negativity bias and appreciative inquiry

47:45: First steps when you’re feeling discouraged

56:55: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict). 

About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths

7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity

11:05: Not giving away your power

14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships

18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations

22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse

27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation

31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes

34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions

38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’

41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs

45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves

49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance

51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’

55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences

1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility

1:03:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. 

If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon or send it in to contact@beingwellpodcast.com.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?”

12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair?

22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them?

28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do? 

34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive?

40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism?

55:15: Recap

Sponsors:

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In one of the most interesting conversations we've ever had on the podcast, Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham to explore what really helps people work with - and be with - trauma. They begin with Dr. Ham's background and what drew him to trauma work before Forrest asks him how he "conceptualizes" different kinds of traumatic experiences. Dr. Ham then takes them away from the conceptual, and toward the felt. 

They talk about cultivating a felt sense of connection, empathy as a way in to relationship, and the value of anger. Dr. Ham shares about his own process taking risks as a clinician, using parts work, moving away from the "false idol" of cognizing, and finding a unique way in for each individual.

About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma. He was the therapist former podcast guest Stephanie Foo wrote about in her wonderful book What My Bones Know.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:30: Jacob’s background

5:20: Cultivating a felt sense of connection vs. idolizing the concept of trauma

11:00: A monastic, medical, and artistic approach

13:00: Knowing our intentions, and feeling others’ pain as a therapist

18:00: Surrendering to overwhelming grief

23:50: Love, vulnerability, and authenticity

29:45: The value of anger, the energy it demands, and navigating it with humility

34:45: Presence, and taking risks as a clinician

40:40: How Jacob does parts work, and finding what works with each individual

46:15: Staring at the finger that’s pointing at the moon

49:25: Does a good therapist need to have experienced trauma?

52:30: Honoring our inner protectors, surrendering to pain, and knowing it won’t last forever

56:20: Shaping others’ ability to help you, and processing trauma without professional help

1:00:15: Tipping points and surrender

1:04:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ah the holidays, that blessed time of year when we come together with our highly functional family systems to engage in some good, old-fashioned fun. 

If that sounded like a joke, this episode is for you. 

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to survive the holidays with the dishes (mostly) intact. They talk about the pull of dysfunctional family systems, our tendency to return to the way things were “back then,” and balancing the desire to flip the Thanksgiving table with the desire to just make it through another year. 

I thought this was one of the most interesting conversations we’ve had recently, and I hope you enjoy it.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:15: What makes the holidays tough?

5:45: The gap between who you are now and how your family system interacts with you

14:45: Parents yearning for the past, and craving gratitude

24:20: Finding agency amidst obligation

26:55: The weaponization of morality, and not needing to defend boundaries

32:45: Appreciating something about people amidst your struggles with them, and identifying the stakes

38:50: Getting through when it’s hard

43:30: The tension and ambiguity of wanting to speak up

47:00: Resourcing yourself ahead of time, and recognizing what’s in your best interest

51:50: Two kinds of grief and loss

1:01:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer. 

About our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT)

5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states

12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body

19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work

23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation

27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically

30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe

34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person

37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues

39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world

41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization

43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment

47:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient.  

About our Guest: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at The New York Times and the author of a number of wonderful books including The Practice of Groundedness and his most recent book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: How Brad has come to think about change

3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis

6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility

13:00: Creating a more flexible identity

20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’

24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego

28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight

34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change

39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress

41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process

45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy

49:20: Expecting discomfort

51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner

55:05: Values and perspectives

1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle

1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves

1:04:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important decisions we’ll make in life: the choice to become a parent. They focus on what good parenting looks like in practice, the key difference in thinking of a child as a “means” or an “end,” and how to know whether becoming a parent is the right path for you. 

Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: The significance (and uniqueness) of this choice

4:50: Being aware of your motivations for having a child

16:55: The influence of primal biology

20:50: Qualities of a good parent

30:30: Mirroring, idealizing, twinship, and the process of differentiation

36:35: Optimal frustration, and a healthy parental work ethic

41:25: The rewards of being a parent

46:45: If you don’t like __ you shouldn’t become a parent

48:50: A word for current parents who wish things had been different 

53:00: Community, partnership, and resources

55:10: Meaning and fulfillment with or without a child

1:00:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can improve our self-confidence, allowing us to become more psychologically flexible and create healthy boundaries with other people. They explain why becoming better at something doesn’t always make us more confident, the two paths of gaining confidence and releasing insecurity, and how we can release insecurity over time. They then talk about the differences between confidence and narcissism, dealing with other people when they try to put us down, and how we can develop an authentic sense of self-worth.

Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:15: Separating confidence and capability

8:10: Releasing insecurity vs. gaining confidence

13:25: Sources of insecurity, celebrating others’ vision, and tapping into universal currents

20:30: Redefining what a win looks like, and surrendering to the best in ourselves

26:30: Finding people who believe in you, taking action, and not knowing

31:20: Our core beliefs, why they are rational, and how to update them

34:35: Self-worth, and confidence in your own innate goodness

38:55: The difference between self-confidence and narcissism

44:00: Facing the fear of what will happen if you are confident

52:00: When being poorly received is about others and not you

54:45: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us has a huge impact on the emotions we feel, the choices we make, and the quality of the lives we lead. These are our perspectives, and they’re the foundation our lives are built on…which is why changing them is so freakin’ hard. 

In this episode, Forrest and Rick explore what perspectives are, what a healthy perspective looks like in practice, and how we can deliberately shift our perspectives over time. Specific topics include unpacking where perspectives come from, getting better at identifying when a perspective starts to affect our behavior, and thinking of ourselves as “rivers” rather than “rocks.” By the end of this episode, you’ll learn the key skills you need to change the views that have been holding you back. 

Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and info on Rick’s Neurodharma course

2:10: Aspects of the kind of perspective we’re talking about

5:50: Change, being grounded in reality, and self-compassion

12:40: Fixed perspectives, fear, and a few examples from Rick

19:40: Shame, and conflict with others due to changes in behavior

22:35: Lack of self-confidence leading to rigidity

25:50: De-centering, joy, viewing yourself as a river, and playfulness

31:45: Roleplay, and asking ‘what if?’

35:25: Inquiring into how our perspectives are constructed

44:35: Emotional imagination, and retelling your story

47:10: How our values and aspirations drive our perspective

51:50: Asking which perspectives support what’s important to you

54:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“The mistake most of us make is building our homes in other people. When we do that, we give them the power to make us homeless.”

Poet, activist, and author Najwa Zebian joins Forrest for a conversation focused on discovering what truly matters to us. They use Najwa’s personal story as a way to explore how we can break out of the roles others place us in, create healthy boundaries, and feel worthy from the inside-out. Topics include balancing intimacy and autonomy, self-compassion and self-love, and finding the courage to act authentically.

About Our Guest: Najwa Zebian is an activist, poet, educator, and the author of six books including her recent works Welcome Home, Conversations on Letting Go, and The Only Constant, which will be coming out March 2024. She was raised in Lebanon and moved to Canada at 16 where she later earned her Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Western Ontario.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:05: Najwa’s personal background

6:10: Humility, asking for the things you need, and comparing your pain to others

11:15: Loving your current self into becoming your authentic self

17:10: Navigating change in the face of social pressure

20:45: Intrinsic self-worth, and the beauty of being undefined

32:00: Intimacy and autonomy

40:05: Choosing vulnerability, and paying attention to surrounding influences

50:45: Healthy shared expectations in relationships

53:45: Forgiving others as a gift we give to ourselves

58:30: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re often told to “be true to ourselves:” to line-up the person we are on the outside with the person we are on the inside. In a word, to be authentic. But what does it really mean to “be who we are,” “get in touch with ourselves,” or to go full new-age “live in alignment with our higher purpose?”

In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what authenticity is, where it comes from, and whether it’s actually a good thing to be more authentic. They talk about what we really mean when we use the word “authenticity,” the fragmented nature of the self, and problems with unregulated self expression. They then turn towards how we can include all of ourselves, act from our values, and become at peace with who we are. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:35: How Rick thinks about authenticity

6:10: Congruence, presentation, and the difference between honest and good

13:45: A personal example of authenticity from Rick and Forrest

17:00: Self-disclosure as a factor of intimacy

19:45: What parts of ourselves are we being authentic to?

23:15: Vulnerability and aspiration

28:10: Carl Rogers’ idea of the perceived self and the ideal self

33:20: Is self-improvement authentic?

36:30: Unconditional positive regard, and embodiment

40:10: Naming what you’re feeling, the vastness of the psyche, and self-honesty

46:25: Having a secure environment for aspirational change

48:45: Individualism, social roles, and intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation

53:05: Archetypes, the shadow, and integration

59:20: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

The Turning Points podcast is BACK with a new season. Check out season 3 of Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on getting the most we can out of therapy, processing old painful experiences, and sabotaging ourselves. They explore the self-fulfilling nature of fear, different forms of therapy and who they can benefit, and how to approach dealing with your mind in general. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:25: My relationship anxiety is sabotaging my relationship!

7:40: Getting more out of therapy

14:00: Should people with CPTSD do cognitive therapy?

19:45: What other kinds of modalities might be beneficial?

23:05: Rick’s “gardening theory of therapy”

29:10: When and how is it appropriate to talk with your adult children about your abusive childhood?

33:30: How can a therapist draw healthy boundaries with their friends?

39:15: How would you advise a person in their mid 20s just diagnosed with ADHD?

46:25: Forrest’s partner’s experience with ADHD medication

48:50: Reframing our understanding of a psychiatric diagnosis

52:00: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our productivity-obsessed, always-on world it’s easy for busyness to become a badge of honor. But sometimes that effort-ing transforms from the reasonable pursuit of our goals into workaholism: a compulsive, even addictive drive to work. In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what workaholism is really, the psychological functions it serves, and how it relates to other addictive behaviors. You’ll learn both how to approach changing behaviors like workaholism in general and specific interventions that can help.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: Differentiating workaholism from working hard

9:40: Preempting criticism, and your internal audience

17:10: Competence, approval seeking, and motives

23:50: Addiction without social stigma

28:40: Population groups more prone to workaholism

33:50: The stages of change 

37:45: Moving to the wider view, craving and regret

40:55: Embodying your future self, and social support

43:10: Identity, and creating a coherent narrative

46:00: Underlying feelings, mindfulness, and making choices

49:20: Distinguishing being and becoming

52:25: Tracking your time, and scheduling time off

54:50: Giving others influence over your behavior

56:20: Rick’s personal experience navigating a healthy work ethic

1:01:20: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Rick sit down with Dr. Susan David, the creator of the concept of Emotional Agility. Emotional agility is what allows us to navigate our complex emotions, make choices aligned with our values, and ultimately lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.

They begin by discussing the four parts of emotional agility and distinguishing it from related concepts like emotional intelligence before exploring how we can “unhook” from our painful or problematic thoughts, feelings, and stories. They then explore how we can identify what really matters to us, act from those values, and find our footing in an ever-changing world. 

About our Guest: Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist and the author of the #1 Bestseller Emotional Agility. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal, and her TED Talk on the topic of emotional agility has been seen by more than 10 million people.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: Distinguishing emotional agility from emotional intelligence

5:00: The four parts of emotional agility

10:30: The value of seeing yourself and feeling seen by others

16:20: Continuity of self, and considering your future self

21:45: Ways to recognize our unhelpful patterns or ‘hooks’

26:40: Maintaining context for the full scope of our values

32:55: Defining the concept of values

35:50: Learning from discomfort, boredom, and anxiety

40:30: When you struggle to identify your values in the first place

46:05: Compassion and groundedness amidst constant change

52:40: Accurately labeling your stressors

58:30: Love and wisdom 

1:00:00: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The only constant in life is change. Moments come and go, people enter and leave our lives, and we ourselves grow, change, and eventually pass away. While this is an obvious fact of life, we usually let it blend into the background, and coming face-to-face with it can fill us with understandable feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and even dread.

In this episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore impermanence anxiety: the fears we have related to change. They discuss “macro” and “micro” impermanence, terror management theory, the courage to care, fully embracing life, what tends to help people come to peace with impermanence, and how we can become more resilient in the face of change. Rick closes the episode by explaining how we can come more fully into the present moment, and see reality for what it truly is. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:20: Macro-impermanence and micro-impermanence

9:25: Terror management theory, and grasping the finality of bigger changes

14:50: Fully embracing your reality

26:25: Purpose, meaning, agency and acceptance

32:40: Why change is scary, and recognizing our own fragility

38:10: Repression, avoidance, and sublimation

47:05: A walkthrough of the stages of insight

54:30: Framing yourself in the broader reality, and letting go of painful things

57:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Chris Palmer, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, joins Forrest to discuss the relationship between metabolic function and mental illness. They discuss Dr. Palmer’s work with patients suffering from severe conditions like schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder, psychiatry’s current challenges with treatment-resistant conditions, and the important distinction between difficult psychological states and brain-based disorders. They then explore the relationship between mental illness and metabolic function, the key role mitochondria play in the process, and how current treatments impact our metabolism. Forrest and Dr. Palmer close the episode by discussing a number of practical interventions to improve metabolic function, including the ketogenic diet, sleep, exercise, stress management techniques like mindfulness practice, and even love, connection, and sense of purpose. 

About our Guest: Dr. Chris Palmer is a board-certified psychiatrist and assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. His clinical practice focuses on helping people suffering from treatment-resistant mental illnesses, including mood disorders, psychotic disorders, and personality disorders. His newest book is Brain Energy: A Revolutionary Breakthrough in Understanding Mental Health.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:35: How Dr. Palmer's personal experience has influenced his work

4:00: The brain energy theory as a response to treatment resistant conditions

9:05: Mental states vs. mental disorders, and problems with our diagnostic criteria

14:25: Brain disorders as metabolic disorders

19:50: Defining metabolism

22:40: The role of mitochondria

28:45: How medication affects metabolism

35:20: How stress and emotions affect metabolism

41:40: The ketogenic diet, mitophagy, and mitochondrial biogenesis

47:40: The importance of education and support around ketosis for medical conditions

53:00: Supplementing medication with lifestyle change vs. replacing it

56:20: Sleep and light exposure

59:35: Love, connection, and sense of purpose

1:06:00: A sense of safety as a prerequisite for healing

1:09:10: Recap 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional intelligence is considered an essential trait for everything from being a desirable romantic partner to having a successful career. But what do we really mean when we say “emotional intelligence,” and how can we become emotionally intelligent over time? In today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what’s “in” emotional intelligence, balancing emotional closeness and distance, and how we can become more self-aware, emotionally regulated, and empathic.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:40: What’s emotional intelligence?

4:25: Curiosity, care, and rational vs. emotional decision making

9:30: The five domains of emotional intelligence

11:30: Courage

18:40: Competence, capacity, and application

23:40: Anger, and discerning wants and needs

25:25: Self-awareness

30:20: The stories we are drawn to

33:20: Empathy

44:40: Self-regulation

48:50: Widening the space 

51:45: The feelings beneath the feelings

53:00: Feeling overwhelmed, boundaries, and differentiation

1:01:10: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our thoughts, emotions, and experiences can reshape the very structure of our brains, allowing it to adapt and change over time. This is known as neuroplasticity, and while it’s present throughout our lives the younger we are the more powerful it is. 

On today’s episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can harness the power of neuroplasticity to clean up our mental mess…and teach our children to do the same. They detail Dr. Leaf’s five-step Neurocycle process, walk through a practical example, and explain how we can use mind-management tools to reshape our relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. Dr. Leaf then shares how we can introduce these tools to young people, the importance of nurturing a child's sense of agency, and the power of teaching through modeling. 

About our Guest: Dr. Caroline Leaf is a clinical and cognitive neuroscientist who has been researching the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health, and the formation of memory for over 40 years. She’s the host of the top mental health podcast Cleaning Up The Mental Mess, and her newest book How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:00: The five steps of Dr. Leaf’s NeuroCycle

6:30: A walkthrough of the process using an example from Rick

13:50: Helping kids have a sense of agency in difficult environments

20:35: Teaching children through modeling, and building connection with different age groups

26:55: What motivates us to take action and reckon with our past

33:20: Empowering kids to have thoughts and feelings without ‘being’ them

35:20: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. 

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the last 10 years interest in therapy has boomed, and with the greater demand for therapists more people than ever are considering pursuing a career in mental health. On today’s episode Forrest speaks to five therapists and therapists-in-training to learn the lessons they wish they’d known when they started. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Intro

2:15: Rick Hanson

5:05: Key traits of good therapists

17:50: Questions a prospective therapist might not think to ask

25:00: Self-employement, emotional regulation, and boundaries

27:45: Efficacy, complacency, and respecting the craft

31:45: Lori Gottlieb

35:20: Emotional intimacy and human connection

38:50: Modalities 

40:50: Vulnerability, uncertainty, and making mistakes

48:10: Terry Real

52:45: Learning how to heal yourself first

55:35: What therapy is actually like

59:30: Messiness

1:03:15: Elizabeth Ferreira

1:06:35: Somatics, and being yourself

1:11:50: How to suffer with someone, then let it move through you

1:16:45: Awareness and the bravery of owning what’s in the room

1:21:15: Chaos, and loving yourself

1:27:45: Taylor Banfield

1:34:00: Sitting with a client for the first time

1:37:45: Choosing a specific career path

1:39:10: Boundaries

1:43:15: Recap

About our Guests: Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, New York Times best-selling author, and frequent guest on Being Well.

Lori Gottlieb is a practicing therapist in Los Angeles, and is the author of the bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

Terry Real is a longtime clinician, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, and bestselling author of a number of books including Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.

Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate somatic psychotherapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you’d like to work with Elizabeth, you can reach out to her through her website or Instagram. 

Taylor Banfield is a graduate student in the PsyD program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off!

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest for a wide-ranging, open, and personal conversation. They explore dealing with anxiety and fear, sustaining a mindfulness practice, and accepting our nature while leaning into a new version of ourselves. Along the way they talk about the benefits and drawbacks of purely secular approaches to mindfulness, Dan’s recent time with the Dalai Lama, and why an “anti-sentimentalist” like Dan is writing a book about love.

About our Guest: Dan Harris is the author of the best-selling memoir 10% Happier, about a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation. He’s also the host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast and the cofounder of the Ten Percent Happier meditation app. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

​​0:00: Introduction

1:05: Dan’s history with panic attacks, and using exposure therapy 

6:15: Pros and cons of mindfulness in a secular frame

9:15: Moving away from a purely secular frame

12:10: Dan’s current meditation practice

16:15: Sustaining practice, and the pros and cons of stubbornness

20:15: Passion and purpose without attachment

27:50: Dan’s takeaways from the Dalai Lama

30:45: Caring, sharing, and marking your virtuous moments

33:30: An ‘anti-sentimental’ look at love

44:50: Recognizing personal change

47:55: If you can’t be cheesy, you can’t be free

51:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how we can thoughtfully take the input of other people, identify and meet our needs, deal with anxiety and the fear of failure, and approach a conversation about drug use with teenagers. You’ll also learn strategies for reducing nighttime sleep anxiety, creating healthy boundaries, dealing with temperamental differences in a relationship, and finding peace and connection as a single person.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:35: How do process feedback from other people? What helps you accept what's useful...and leave the rest?

11:35: My extended family has gotten very distant. How do families tend to change over time? 

23:40: I always feel like I'm about to be punished. What can I do?

33:15: How can we help teens navigate curiosity and peer pressure related to drugs, including psychedelics?

44:15: LIGHTNING ROUND!

45:15: Dealing with anxious thoughts before bedtime.

48:00: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.

51:10: My partner has ADHD. How can I encourage them to work on some problematic behaviors while respecting their nature?

56:40: Being at peace with being on our own.

1:00:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell.

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices