Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

There is a lot of complicated advice out there (including on this podcast) for how to improve our well-being. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick simplify the lessons they’ve learned from over 100 experts and 300 episodes. They explore the importance of individual context, focusing on what we can change even among difficult circumstances, the power of acceptance, influencing our attention, taking care of the body, social connection, and how we can identify, accept, and manage our unique needs. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction, and a disclaimer about generalizations

5:50: The belief that things can get better

14:20: How acceptance supports agency

24:55: Being thoughtful about what we consume, and where we place our attention

30:30: Bodily awareness and taking care of the body

36:50: Developing and appreciating strong social connections

41:50: Identifying our wants and needs

44:50: Identifying key values, setting goals, and letting those goals shape our lives

54:30: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. 

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of the most common, and most important, questions they get about attachment theory: can we heal our attachment wounds, and become more securely attached? 

They explore the basics of attachment theory, whether people can change their attachment style, and how much change is truly possible. They then discuss some common frameworks for change, the power of positive experiences, and how we can break out of the “catch-22” of attachment wounds. The episode ends with practical advice for what an anxiously or avoidantly attached person could do to become more securely attached over time. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: An overview of how attachment develops

7:40: Four components involved in changing your attachment style

10:50: The difference between our tendencies and our behavior

12:40: The four stages of growth, and developing “conscious competency”

17:35: Recognizing the ways you’re included, seen, appreciated, liked, and loved

25:00: The role of individual effort, and the real driver of motivation

29:10: What helps anxious people become more securely attached

41:35: And what helps avoidant people

49:55: How to ground ourselves when people are unreliable

55:25: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell.

Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. 

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The average human will live for roughly 4000 weeks. Foregrounding this can be a source of stress, leading us to constantly run from one task to another. Or, it can be a source of meaning and purpose, nudging us to focus on what really matters.

In this episode, Forrest is joined by bestselling author Oliver Burkeman for an exploration of what’s really at stake in what we call “time management”. You’ll learn why doing things faster only leaves you with more to do, the hidden payoffs of constant busyness, and how we can live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life by embracing its finite nature. 

About our Guest: Oliver Burkeman is a bestselling author and journalist. His most recent book is Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and prior to that wrote The Guardian column titled, “This Column Will Change Your Life.” He writes and publishes a twice monthly email newsletter called “The Imperfectionist.” 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

0:55: Oliver’s movement towards “anti-productivity”

2:55: Doing fewer things more purposefully

4:55: Looking at your own experience, and the paradoxical notion of perfect efficiency

10:15: The wheel of craving, secondary gains, and grappling with our mortality

15:30: Procrastination and freedom from an ideal result

20:15: The poignancy of limited choice

22:50: Existential crisis, insight, and fulfillment

30:20: Organizing your daily schedule around your top priority

35:55: Frameworks for working within someone else’s schedule

39:45: The allure of middling priorities

41:40: Identifying our wants and needs, and choices that enlarge and diminish us

45:50: Five questions to ask yourself from Oliver’s book

50:00: Suffering from trying to find a solution, and life not being a ‘prologue’

57:35: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. 

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all experienced that frustrating feeling of knowing that we should be doing something, and yet struggling to take action. Join Forrest and Dr. Rick as they explore how we can overcome avoidance and procrastination, unlock our motivation, and cultivate a "pursuit mindset." 

They discuss intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, why extrinsic motivations aren’t such a bad thing, and how we can use our important values to set better goals and shape our behavior. You’ll learn why procrastination is based on fear, how to orient toward pursuit and see yourself as an agent of change, and the key role “getting good at liking” plays in this process.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Intrinsic vs. external motivation

10:00: Identifying your intrinsic or “noncontingent” motivations

15:00: Self-determination theory (SDT)

19:35: Pursuit and prey orientation

28:25: The psychological function of procrastination

35:35: Learning what you like, and focusing on it

42:25: Meaning, purpose, pleasure, and satisfaction

46:20: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rick and Forrest are joined by award-winning journalist Michael Krasny for an episode focused on how to stay curious, navigate times of transition, and relate to the modern media landscape in healthy ways. They use Michael’s recent experience with “retirement” as a jumping off point to explore how we can embrace change and stay curious before diving into a conversation focused on the modern media landscape. Topics include bothsides-ism, navigating challenging conversations, and finding the balance between what “knowing mind” and “don’t know mind.”

About our Guest: Michael Krasny is the long-time host of the KQED Forum, and has interviewed some of the most prominent figures of the past 50 years, including Maya Angelou, Caesar Chavez, President Jimmy Carter, Carl Sagan, and President Barack Obama. Since retiring from the Forum, Michael has started his own podcast: Grey Matter with Michael Krasny. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: What’s helped Michael navigate the transition to a new phase of life

3:45: Michael’s shift in identity post-KQED Forum

5:45: Curiosity and ‘usefulness’

8:10: Preparing for interviews

11:10: How Michael became an interviewer

14:10: Shakespeare characters, the anxiety of influence, and corporal punishment

23:10: How the function of media has changed over time

26:05: Bothsidesism and offering balanced viewpoints

30:40: ‘Always don’t know’, and not being captured by our strengths

33:45: Overpreparation, anxiety, and the role of an interviewer

38:20: The value of spacious conversation vs. discourse through sound bytes

40:30: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, this one’s for you. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can overcome learned helplessness and change our lives by developing self-efficacy: the ability to influence our environments and control our motivation and behavior. Key topics include why we get stuck, the science of learned helplessness, focusing on effort over talent, creating a growth mindset, and balancing acceptance and agency. You’ll learn how to improve self-efficacy, embrace who you are, and become truly confident in your ability to grow. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: Why are we prone to feeling stuck?

4:45: Fear of failure and negativity bias

8:30: Learned helplessness and the dog study

18:05: Difficulties identifying patterns we’re close to

20:00: The biological function of shame

22:55 The connection between our emotions, our body, and our sense of self-efficacy

24:10: Chronic illness and pain, and recognizing what is and is not in your control

26:10: What is a growth mindset?

28:40: Nature and nurture, talent and effort, and our metrics of self-worth

35:00: Rick’s practical tips for improving self-efficacy (complete with soundtrack)

40:20: Creating a coherent self-narrative

42:35: An example from Forrest of claiming agency

46:20: Advice for someone in their late 20s when feeling stuck

51:40: Building on and reinforcing our successes

56:35: Determination

59:35: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how to overcome imposter syndrome, the common psychological experience of self-doubt and feeling like a fraud. You'll learn why even very accomplished, capable people experience imposter syndrome, strategies to break free from the cycle of self-doubt, and how to move away from comparison, embrace authenticity, and believe in yourself. Topics include how to build self-confidence, reframe negative self-perceptions, and find support from mentors and allies.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Defining imposter syndrome, and watching out for “construct creep”

9:25: Where the notion of imposter syndrome originates

11:30: Stages of development, trust, shame, and belonging

13:50: Myths around accomplishment, and when we’re actually good enough

16:30: The typical cycle of imposter syndrome

20:00: Why people get trapped in this cycle

25:00: Moving away from comparison

28:10: Shame about shame, and sharing authentically with others

32:15: What helps us face our fears

36:35: Acknowledging what you are not

40:15: Your locus of control, and how you interpret your experience

49:25: Mentors, role models, and allies

51:50: Recap

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  

Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s an enormous amount of advice out there in the self-help world…and much of it isn’t very good. Jason Wachob, the Founder and Co-CEO of mindbodygreen, joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to separate fact from fiction and clarify what really matters. They explore the importance of finding joy in the well-being journey, simple practices that have stood the test of time, and how we can pursue goals in healthy ways. Specific topics include the importance of high-quality sleep, breathing better, sifting through diet and exercise fads, developing a pursuit mindset, hormetic stress, and finding the things that work for you.

About our Guest: Jason Wachob is the Founder and Co-CEO of mindbodygreen, one of the largest, most influential media brands in the wellness space. He’s also the host of the mindbodygreen podcast, and the co-author of The Joy of Well-Being: A practical guide to a happy, healthy, and long life.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Distinguishing well-being from wellness

3:50: Healthy change is joyful change

7:50: Having a pursuit mindset

11:30: Addressing the main objection to well-being

14:45: Present moment awareness

16:55: Box breathing and sleep

22:10: Jason’s background, and how identity dictates our behavior

32:20: Honoring your inner knowing

37:50: Finding your ‘why’

42:45: Good stress, and finding what works for you

46:40: Vulnerability with others

48:55: Feeling connected to the world

50:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), joins Dr. Rick and Forrest to explore how insights from attachment theory can transform our relationships. They discuss how attachment theory provides a map for understanding relationships, the challenges of making skills learned in therapy stick, and the role of vulnerability in creating authentic and fulfilling relationships. In this episode you'll learn how to use insights from attachment theory and EFT to create secure and emotionally healthy relationships. 

About our Guest: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and hKey Topics:

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Why Sue created Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)

8:55: Relationships as bonds, not bargains

12:20: Attachment theory as a “map,” and getting skills to stick

16:50: What it feels like to be in a bonding conversation

26:15: Validating vulnerabilities and “finding the raw spot”

31:35: Changing the way you relate to yourself

36:20: EFT vs. Internal Family Systems

38:40: “The Amygdala Whisperer,” and creating a new experience 

40:35: Inherent goodness, and naming helplessness

45:40: Communicating how much you value others

51:50: Individualism, and getting comfortable with vulnerability

59:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick dive into the mailbag to answer questions from listeners. They explore age gaps in relationships, relating to people as ongoing processes, and avoiding having your personal growth practice turn you into a doormat. You’ll learn how to develop authentic self-worth, how to allow both “positive” and “negative” motivations to pull you in a good direction, and how to balance determinism with personal responsibility. The episode closes with a question about supporting people trapped in dysfunctional family systems. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Question 1: I feel like my personal growth practice is causing others to take advantage of me. What can I do? 

8:55: Question 2: Do age gaps in relationships matter?

19:55: Relating to others as ongoing processes 

22:40: Question 3: Given all the things we don’t control, how responsible is anyone for their behavior?

28:30: Thinking in terms of plausible ranges of outcomes

33:20: Question 4: How can I learn to accept myself and improve my self-worth?

41:50: Question 5: I can’t tell if I’m motivated by “good” desires…or just my fear of never measuring up.

49:00: What comes along with challenging experiences

54:15: Question 6: How can an older sibling help a younger sibling in a dysfunctional family system?

1:04:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Sponsors:

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest Hanson welcomes Dr. Benjamin Hardy to explore how we can create massive change by applying "10x thinking.” This mindset involves embracing a radically different version of ourselves and our lives, and they share how we can apply it to our daily lives, learn to act from our future selves, and move past defensiveness and fear. You’ll learn how our past and future selves are with us in the present, how fixating on authenticity can hinder our growth, and how to break free from old patterns and create a more fulfilling life.

About our Guest: Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist and author of 8 books, including Personality Isn’t Permanent, Willpower Doesn’t Work, and his newest book 10x is Easier Than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More by Doing Less.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: Linear vs. 10x thinking and the 80/20 principle

4:30: Having an honesty filter, and making transformational change

6:15: Using the 80/20 principle to act in alignment with your future self

10:45: Agency as the belief in possibility

14:30: The inherent discomfort of orienting to a positive future

17:55: Psychological sunk costs

19:40: How believing in a “core self” holds us back

24:50: What helps us break through defensiveness and fear of failure

29:10: The present shapes the meaning of the past, and why that’s useful

35:10: Developing a coherent narrative and creating space to transform

37:45: Recognizing the cost of not changing, and future awareness creating fulfilment

43:55: The present as simply the present

46:50: “After the Ecstasy, The Laundry”, and 10x thinking being counterintuitive

48:55: Practical steps to engage in a 10x process of thinking

55:50: Recap

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Buddhist teacher Mark Coleman joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to share how we can learn from nature and incorporate it into our practice. Mark shares his insights and experiences from years of leading wilderness retreats, and explains how reconnecting with the natural world can deepen mindfulness and enhance our well-being. You’ll learn specific meditative practices, how to bring the outside inside, the power of our “wild” aspects, and how we can move from being in nature to simply being nature.

About our Guest: Mark Coleman is a senior meditation teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in northern California, and the founder of Awake in the Wild, an organization that runs programs focused on immersing people in the natural world. He’s also the author of four books, including From Suffering to Peace: The True Promise of Mindfulness and his newest book A Field Guide to Nature Meditation: 52 Mindfulness Practices for Joy, Wisdom and Wonder.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: What drew Mark to practice in nature

5:15: Being drawn outward by meditation

9:20: Access to nature, and “bougie-fication”

15:15: Novelty, acclimation, and quieting the “self”

20:25: The brutal side of nature, and uncertainty

25:05: Reciprocity and relationship

28:05: From appreciating nature to being nature

30:15: Searching for a place vs. searching for a feeling

35:50: What meditating in nature looks like in practice

41:40: Bringing the benefits of practice to the mundane

45:05: “A bunch of tame monkeys”

49:15: Recap

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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Forrest and Dr. Rick delve into a frequently requested topic: how we can let go of obsessive and intrusive thoughts. They explore why we get trapped in certain thoughts, the negative effects of rumination, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). They also discuss facing our fears, which allows us to get close enough to a problem that we can do something about it…without getting so close that we become overwhelmed by it. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: What is rumination?

5:00: Why we get stuck in certain thoughts

8:10: Two kinds of obsessive thoughts

11:00: The brains attempt to problem solve

13:40: Assessing a hypothetical client

20:15: We all have weird thoughts

22:35: Reality testing, naming thoughts and not feeding them

25:20: "Completing the gestalt"

31:40: Rick completing a gestalt on psychedelics

33:45: Balancing closeness and distance

39:45: Exaggerating the obsession vs. thought suppression

42:35: Widening your view and surrendering to the worst

44:50: The intrinsic emptiness of a ruminative thought

48:10: Another hypothetical case study

56:10: Doing good in the world as an antidote

59:30: Recap

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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Cognitive bypassing occurs when we overthink to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions like sadness, fear, or anger. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick share their personal experiences with cognitive bypassing, and explore how we can step out of our heads, get in touch with our emotions, and live a more fulfilling life. You'll learn why people can't just "feel their feelings," the function of cognitive bypassing, how we can use cognition to create space for our emotions, and practical tools for connecting with the non-cognitive aspects of our experience.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: What is cognitive bypassing?

3:05: How cognitive bypassing comes up in therapy

6:10: The function of cognitive bypassing

11:10: Does insight lead to action?

18:45: “Feel your feelings” vs. self-actualizing

24:50: Leveraging your cognition to create space from your feelings

30:00: Body sensations and self-compassion

33:15: Relating to others

38:55: Practical steps to being in touch with yourself

42:20: Intensity, valence, and opening to empathy

45:15: Rigidity and resistance

50:00: The range of possibilities within your constraints

56:35: Recap

NEW Offering from Rick! Join Rick and 5 world-renowned teachers – including Dr. Gabor Mate, Tara Brach, and Thupten Jinpa – for The Heart of Compassion, a 5-week online program that will teach you how to access, grow, and apply compassion. Head to rickhanson.net/hoc to learn more, and use code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off. 

Sponsors:

Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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ADHD is often misunderstood as a simple "lack of attention." But in this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by ADHD pioneer Dr. John Ratey to explore the true nature of this complex condition. They debunk common misconceptions, explore how ADHD works in the brain, and discuss its surprising strengths and vulnerabilities. You’ll learn how to thrive with ADHD by applying effective interventions, including social connection, mindfulness practice, medication, and exercise.

About our Guest: Dr. John Ratey is associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of eleven books including Spark and the Driven to Distraction series with Dr. Ned Hallowell. Their newest book in the series is the fantastic ADHD 2.0

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Some of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD

3:35: The advantages of having ADHD

5:55: De-pathologizing, skillful means, and the problem of “fit”

9:25: The variety of presentations

12:10: A trait, not a disorder

13:55: The task-positive network, and the default mode network

18:20: Three ways to turn off the default mode network

22:20: The importance of social connection

25:35: Feeling like an outsider, and being punished for having ADHD

28:45: Deliberate internalization of beneficial experiences

31:40: Why exercise and movement is particularly useful for ADHD

34:45: Dance as an ideal form of exercise

39:50: Jump rope, and right amount of exercise

41:15: Nature and the afflictions of civilization

44:25: Medication

51:15: Recap

Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
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Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being.

In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed

2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship

7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices

10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection

15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end

17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities

20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you

23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs

27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change

34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’

39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity

41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments

44:40: Stepping into the river

45:20: Recap

Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off!

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors: 

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Author Stephanie Foo joins Forrest to share her journey with Complex PTSD. They talk about what it was like to receive a diagnosis, the various techniques and modalities she used (and what really helped), the importance of social support, self-acceptance and self-compassion, difficulties with access and cultural competence in the mental healthcare system, intergenerational trauma, and motherhood. 

About Our Guest: Stephanie is a writer and radio producer whose work has been featured on This American Life, 99% Invisible, and Radiolab among other shows, and she’s the author of the truly wonderful book What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics: 

0:00: Introduction and disclaimer

2:10: Stephanie’s experience in sharing her story

6:00: Features of CPTSD

7:50: What led Stephanie to seek help, and work as a coping mechanism

10:15: “The Dread” and healing through relationship

17:40: The effects of receiving diagnosis, and aspects of CPTSD that are helpful

25:45: Practices that helped Stephanie and incorporating them practically

33:45: Balancing showing up for other people and receiving care

35:15: Self-love, gratitude, psychedelics, and relationships

38:20: Two way repair and comfort receiving feedback

42:55: The need for reform to our mental healthcare system and who it serves

49:55: Societal trauma among first generation immigrants

53:30: More natural and communal frameworks for healing

54:30: Parenthood

57:00: Resources available on Stephanie’s website

58:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow Forrest on Instagram
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• Follow Forrest on Facebook
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of what's occurring in the mind lies outside our awareness. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore the unconscious mind and the material we might find there. They talk about what the unconscious mind is, the purpose of the unconscious, repression, bias, and what we can do to access, use, and release that unconscious material. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:25: What is the unconscious mind?

5:35: Why material gets moved to our unconscious mind

8:45: Freud, Jung, and repression

14:25: Looking at repression through a developmental model

18:55: Bias, relational ‘scripts’, and what we can do about unconscious patterns

21:45: Interpreting dreams, and the limits of science

27:55: Examples of repressed material and how to uncover it

30:05: Rick’s first love story

34:20: Emotional release work you can do without a therapist

38:00: Distress tolerance

42:10: The body-based, non-cognitive nature of unconscious material

44:10: Sentence completions, automatic writing, and sand trays

47:00: Building self-worth, and creating a safe container

54:50: Teaching what you need to learn, and the importance of support

57:30: Including what’s left out

1:00:00: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
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On the (roughly) 300th episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick share what they’ve learned from the many experts in psychology, personal growth, and mental health they’ve talked to on the show. They explore the importance of individual context, the gap between insight and action, self-honesty and acceptance as the catalyst for change, incremental change vs. sudden breakthroughs, and the role of distress tolerance.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and two big themes

2:25: Applying generalized information to your individual context

7:50: The importance of insight and where it falls short

9:20: White light moments and the importance of action

13:25: Wants and needs

25:40: Slow and steady effort

29:35: Going to zero and the scaffolding that leads to sustained change

36:15: Distress tolerance, valuing acceptance, and what you know to be true

41:25: The three mechanisms of change

44:25: Reducing inner friction through mental training, and cultivating trust

47:50: How do you want to use your time?

49:10: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors: 

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira returns to the podcast and joins Forrest for a deep dive into somatic psychology. They explore what a somatic therapy session looks like in practice, how it differs from traditional talk therapy, the connection between the body and the mind, and why people with complex trauma are sometimes better served by body-based approaches. Elizabeth then talks about how somatic therapy has supported her own journey with CPTSD and PMDD, and shares some of the practices that have helped her clients.

About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate therapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her practice is open, and if you’d like to reach out to Elizabeth you can do so through Instagram. Elizabeth also has her own podcast, My Therapist's a Witch.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: What happens in a somatic therapy session?

5:00: Attunement and a quick demonstration

9:55: Moving slowly and navigating dissociative patterns

12:45: Cognitive bypassing and catharsis in letting go

15:40: Trauma and integrating alienated parts of ourselves

21:15: Elizabeth’s experience feeling anger

25:30: When the thing that brings you into therapy isn’t the root of your problem

29:00: Safety allowing comfort with feeling difficult feelings

31:40: Interoception, physical embodiment, and more on attunement

35:50: Clean and dirty pain, different parts, and appreciation

40:25: Resistance, joining with the defense, and compassion

44:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
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• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you listen to a podcast like ours, you’re probably familiar with the phrase “daddy issues.” A more accurate way to understand daddy issues is as a form of attachment wounding, which describes situations where our adult relationships are affected by complicated, difficult, or traumatic experiences we had as a child. 

In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore what daddy issues are, how they relate to attachment theory, sexism and the broader social and historical context, different forms of attachment wounding, and a simple way to understand your attachment style. They then walk through four common sets of symptoms and challenges related to attachment wounding, and what a person can do to move toward secure attachment.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: What are daddy issues?

6:35: Parental roles and symptoms of attachment wounding 

13:35: How attachment patterns are created

19:35: Yearning for narcissistic supplies

22:10: Gendered dynamics, and the pejorative use of the phrase “daddy issues”

28:20: Claiming your power

31:15: Forming a coherent narrative, and looking for what was missing

34:50: A simple method for assessing your attachment style

41:50: Social support

44:10: Who you are to others, and meeting person to person

50:55: Situation #1: How to deal with fears of abandonment and being alone

55:00: Situation #2: “I need a lot of reassurance and external validation.”

58:10: Situation #3: Fears related to emotional vulnerability

1:05:15: Situation #4: “I keep dating the same (problematic) kind of person.”

1:10:30: Making deliberate effort

1:14:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

New Program From Rick! If you want to break old patterns and step out of the familiar scripts that hold you back, Rick's Change Your Mind online course is for you. It's a 6-week program starting March 18 designed to help you step out of old assumptions and attitudes and into new, helpful thoughts about yourself and others. Visit RickHanson.net/ChangeYourMind to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eric Zimmer, a behavior coach and the host of The One You Feed podcast, joins Forrest and Rick to explore what really supports us in changing our ingrained patterns of behavior through the lens of Eric’s journey with addiction and recovery. They share the key lessons from speaking with hundreds of experts, the role of insight, why some people go from insight to action and others don’t, acceptance, shame, and responsibility, and the balance between determinism and agency.

About our Guest: Eric is a behavior coach, interfaith spiritual director, and host of The One You Feed, which has over 500 episodes and 25 million downloads. At 24, Eric was homeless and addicted to heroin. In the years since he’s been in recovery, built a meaningful and fulfilling life for himself, and has used the lessons from his own life to help others do the same.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:25: The parable of the two wolves

7:45: Applying our values to our own mental processes

13:00: Change as a three part process: insight, acceptance, and action

14:50: Why some people have an easier time changing than others

19:30: Continuous feedback, quick iterations, and where you rest your mind

23:00: Do we all have the same level of choice?

26:40: Shame, and differing interventions for differing levels of agency

32:40: Feeding the good wolf

40:35: How to want what’s good for us

47:10: Acceptance, responsibility, and beginner’s mind

50:10: What’s missing from the abstinence model?

52:20: Innate goodness, bumping into enlightenment, and self-compassion

1:01:50: “Devote yourself to what remains”

1:03:55: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families

8:25: Differentiation and integration

10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system

12:15: The role of love 

19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict

26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic

30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event

35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)

39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability

46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed

56:10: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Subscribe on iTunes

Follow Forrest on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow Forrest on Instagram

Follow Rick on Facebook

Follow Forrest on Facebook

Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book

1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling

3:40: The importance of the way something is said

8:10: Disentangling tone from content

9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact

12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict

17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm

25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation

29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening

35:45: Trust

39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?

41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back

43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth

46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself

49:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Subscribe on iTunes

Follow Forrest on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow Forrest on Instagram

Follow Rick on Facebook

Follow Forrest on Facebook

Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The main topic we explore on the podcast, in many different ways, is change. How can we come to understand ourselves better, let go of who we were, and become who we wish to be? In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by meditation teacher and former Zen monastic Caverly Morgan. They discuss how we can release our conditioning, identify the inner voice that leads to change, and get to the heart of who we are.

About Our Guest: Caverly is a meditation teacher, author, and the founder of Peace in Schools - a nonprofit which created the nation's first for-credit mindfulness class in public high schools. Her practice began in 1995, and has included eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She’s also the author of the wonderful new book The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: Caverly’s path to Zen

3:30: Truth and freedom

7:20: Chop wood, carry water

8:30: Why it’s okay to have a “conventional” path to enlightenment

9:35: The voice that says “is this all there is?”

12:25: Distinguishing our conditioning from what we really want

15:40: What supports us in exercising our will

21:20: Resistance, preference, and willingness

23:25: Responding to “should”

29:10: Our will and our ego

35:30: Making room for our own nurturing voice

37:35: Practical ways to listen to the heart

40:40: Awakening together

47:20: Coming home to our own being at the simplest level

50:30: Recap

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.


Connect with the show:

Subscribe on iTunes

Follow Forrest on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow Forrest on Instagram

Follow Rick on Facebook

Follow Forrest on Facebook

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Before becoming the “Buddhist brain guy” Dr. Rick spent over 30 years working in private practice as a couples counselor and family therapist. Today we’re leaning on that experience, and learning what we can do to build healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and Rick’s upcoming book

3:20: The importance of deliberate action in making a relationship 

5:50: 6 practical steps from Rick’s new book

10:05: The relationship we have with ourselves

13:10: When others don’t want the same thing

18:50: Rick’s recurring observations in relationship counseling

25:00: Balancing intimacy and autonomy, and asserting what you want

30:50: Staying on topic and establishing thorough agreements

36:25: Sticking to our needs without alienating others

37:45: Tolerating discomfort

40:20: Getting to truth with others

41:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Subscribe on iTunes

Follow Forrest on YouTube

Follow us on Instagram

Follow Forrest on Instagram

Follow Rick on Facebook

Follow Forrest on Facebook

Visit Forrest's website

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We often know what we “should” do, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do it. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jordyn Feingold to explore how we can learn to consistently choose our best selves, overcome barriers to growth, and fully actualize ourselves.

About our Guests: Scott is a cognitive scientist, humanistic psychologist, professor at Columbia University, host of the popular Psychology Podcast, and the author of 10 books, including Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. Jordyn is a resident physician in psychiatry, a well-being researcher, and a positive psychology practitioner. Together, they’re the authors of the recently released Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: Why the title Choose Growth?

3:50: Balancing growth and discomfort

7:20: The value of social support

12:00: Growth from positive experiences

14:15: Mindset

15:40: 8 ways to choose growth

16:35: Building self-esteem and distinguishing it from narcissism

24:55: Becoming a transcender

29:25: Transcending dichotomies

34:15: Practicing self-compassion 

36:50: The underlying ground

41:30: Creativity and healing

46:00: Daily positive medicine for collective growth

50:15: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills. 

On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

3:55: Why do you want to change?

4:50: Four fundamental strategies

7:00: Three common issues

9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck

12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not

13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself

17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs

24:15: Levity and affection for yourself

27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior

30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change

34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame

39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies

42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing

46:40: Recap

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
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• Visit Forrest's website

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We’ve come to the end of another year, and it’s a good time to take stock and consider how we’d like to grow and change during our next trip around the sun. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on what supports us and what holds us back from reinventing ourselves and becoming all we wish to be. They talk about how they’d like to change over the next year, different approaches to new year’s resolutions, do a little digging around in Forrest’s psyche, and highlight a few practical things we can do to support our growth. 

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: Different frameworks around goals and intentions

6:15: Forrest’s goal: more freedom, less constraint

8:50: Integrating the mundane and the profound

11:35: What supports us in changing? What constrains us?

13:35: Mentors, and other sources of encouragement

22:00: Reverting to old patterns when returning to old environments

28:00: Self-acceptance makes change possible

29:45: “Trim tabs” and other forms of psychological leverage

35:30: Diligence, effort, and consistency

37:50: Addressing deficits and reassuring yourself

40:30: Relaxing around inevitability

41:40: Embracing the joy of possibility and change

46:35: Recap

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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We think of stress as “bad” for you, but what if some forms of stress could actually help us grow and change for the better? On today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Dr. Elissa Epel, a psychologist and leading stress researcher, to explore the science behind the stress response. They talk about the different forms of stress, what separates “good” stress from “bad” stress, how we can take advantage of good stress, and dealing with existential forms of stress like the climate crisis. 

About our Guest: Elissa Epel is a psychologist, bestselling author, and a Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. Her research focuses on stress, well-being, and optimal aging. She’s also the best-selling co-author of The Telomere Effect, and her newest book is The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease.

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 40% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:10: Toxic stress vs. hormetic stress

6:30: Challenge orientation vs. threat response

11:35: Simple anchoring practices and their effects

17:00: Autophagy

19:00: Practical consequences of different forms of stress

25:25: Distinguishing physiological from psychological stress

31:00: Comfort with uncertainty and shared existential concerns

40:20: The future of the planet and its inequities

42:40: Recap

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what we want them to be – so we need to either do something to change them or accept them as they are. 

On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on how we can get better at receiving and giving criticism, learn to accept what lies outside of our control, and avoid the “mood of complaint.”

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and critiques of the podcast

4:45: Where we place our attention

8:00: Two kinds of complaint

8:55: Self-righteousness and identifying with our complaints

11:25: What do we hope to accomplish by complaining?

13:15: Sharing experience vs. asserting information

18:35: Developing relationships where your vulnerability is welcome

24:45: Projecting your unclear desires on other people

28:10: How to respond to negative feedback and manage your reactions

32:00: Releasing attachment to changing others and responding to trolls

39:00: Complaints come from emotional dissatisfaction

43:45: Recap

Sponsors:

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“All the time I work with dying people, and only a few of them know they are dying.” 

On this episode of Being Well, Soto Zen teacher Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison joins Forrest and Rick to explore living, dying, and personal practice in the midst of our beautiful, challenging, messy lives.   

About our Guest: Sensei Koshin is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, and co-founder of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. He began his formal Zen training in 1987 and completed six years of training at the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. His most recent book is Untangled: Walking the Eightfold Path to Clarity, Courage, and Compassion.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: Koshin’s got game

3:20: The privilege of witnessing the dying process

11:25: Difficult emotions that come up when considering death 

16:00: Entanglement vs. spaciousness

28:30: Windows of acceptance, and the things we don’t want to accept

33:15: Compassionate presence

37:55: How Jungian training has influenced Koshin’s contemplative practice

42:35: What Koshin is still untangling, and the ground of being

48:30: Appreciating being alive

51:45: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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We’re living in an anxious time, and part of the reason we’re anxious is because there are very real challenges we face both individually and collectively. But we’re also affected by the natural tendencies of the brain, which is easily influenced by fear and threat. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how we can see threats clearly and be the “right amount” of concerned. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:20: Why is it hard for us to see threats without excessive worry?

3:35: Transcending evolutionary influences toward fear

6:30: The last time Rick took LSD

10:45: Discerning what’s valuable in our anxieties, and leaving the rest

15:45: Forrest’s apartment fire story

17:35: Disagreements in evaluating a threat between people

21:55: Probability of risk

25:00: Practical techniques to assess threats with more clarity

29:30: Existential acceptance

33:30: Help for anxiety about anxiety

37:15: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

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These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships.

On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other.

About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: Nate and Kaley’s personal relationship as a basis for their work

5:30: Three different models of relationship

9:30: Two pillars to 80/80 - mindset and structure

12:20: How a 50/50 dynamic caused problems for Nate and Kaley 

19:20: The conscious or unconscious division of roles

21:30: Gratitude and generosity

25:40: Parenting, shared success, and being on a team

32:15: Getting your partner’s buy-in, reveal and request

39:50: Underlying beliefs and power imbalances

44:20: Creating structure (and data) to have difficult conversations

49:30: Distinguishing a reluctant partner from an unwilling partner

52:05: Key skills that distinguish successful couples

56:10: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re the kind of person who listens to mental health podcasts, you’re more likely than average to get pulled into an impromptu “helping role” with your family and friends. Sometimes we seek out these roles, but they can also be uncomfortable or one-sided. And sometimes we get stuck playing a role for someone else that we never wanted in the first place.

On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick use this situation as a way in to exploring the various roles we play in life, and the profound impact those often unconscious roles have on us. They talk about relationship models, how we select our roles, how familiar roles can keep us trapped in old patterns, enactments and triangulation, and how we can exit unhealthy systems.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:50: The hazards of accidentally becoming a friend’s therapist

6:45: Objectivity, professionalism, and not needing to be liked

11:00: The roles we take on and how they shape us

16:45: Why we choose certain roles, and being crippled by our strengths

21:00: Enactments

25:15: Splitting

30:10: When someone else pushes you into a role

35:10: Triangulation

48:10: Deep listening and a lesson from Carl Rogers

51:10: Practical tips for drawing boundaries in your roles with others

59:40: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s one thing to feel good about what we do, and another to feel truly worthy from the inside out. When we increase our self-worth it allows us to take our needs more seriously, get on our own side, and change our lives for the better. 

On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest explore how we can develop a more durable sense of self-worth. They talk about self-worth vs. self-esteem, what causes people to lack self-worth, Rick’s personal story of developing a true sense of worthiness, and why more self-worth probably won’t turn you into a narcissistic a**hole.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: The value of self-worth

2:50: Will improving my self-worth turn me into a narcissist?

5:45: What makes people more likely to struggle with self-worth?

6:50: Distinguishing self-worth from self-esteem

9:30: Rick’s own journey to a better sense of self-worth

14:55: Inner attacker, inner nurturer, and the beleaguered self.

19:15: The process of building up your nurturing parts

27:20: Investigating negative stories we tell ourselves

30:55: Mutual rapport and being loving

33:40: Social aspects of developing self worth, and why therapy works

36:50: Non-social aspects

38:20: Relating to yourself from a less ego-oriented perspective

44:40: Vulnerability and tenderness in our interactions with others

46:05: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Diego Perez, widely known by his pen name Yung Pueblo, joins Forrest to explore how we can deepen our personal practice, refine the mind, break old patterns, relax the self, and feel lighter than we were before.

This was one of my absolute favorite conversations I’ve had on the podcast, and being with Diego was a real pleasure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

About our Guest: Diego Perez is a poet, meditator, and New York Times bestselling author widely known through his pen name Yung Pueblo. His writing focuses on how we can grow and change for the better, create healthy relationships, and come to truly know ourselves. His newest book is Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

0:55: Why the name Yung Pueblo?

2:35: What holds most people back from growth

4:35: Habits Diego struggled with and the logical basis of coping mechanisms

9:15: Moments of insight in learning Vipassana Meditation

11:40: Finding stability in the gradual separation from the ‘self’

20:30: Stories others have told us about ourselves

26:50: What has helped Diego find a flexible sense of identity?

28:55: Relationships as a process not a person

31:20: Diego’s personal meditation and creative practice

34:15: The benefits of a pen name and healthy detachment from your work

40:00: Benefits and pitfalls of social media

42:50: Forrest’s meditation practice, and the positive aspects of difficult emotions

48:25: What Diego would tell his younger self.

50:30: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all make mistakes in life. When we do it's important to take appropriate responsibility, feel the "wince," and make amends as we can. But after we've done that...then what? Many people find it easier to forgive others than they do to truly forgive themselves, and it's not uncommon to be burdened by excessive shame and guilt that has outlived its expiration date.

On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore forgiveness, including how we can forgive ourselves. This includes common myths and misunderstandings about forgiveness, the difference between healthy and unhealthy forms of shame and remorse, coming to terms with what we've done, and a roadmap to achieving (self-)forgiveness. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Assumptions, approval, and what forgiveness is and is not

7:45: What does healthy remorse look like?

10:00: Forrest exploring a dream about appropriate remorse

13:00: Our internalized justice system

17:00: More on dreams and internal parts

24:25: Aspects of unhealthy remorse

27:30: How to move through a recurring cycle of shame and unhealthy remorse

32:30: Proportionality, defensiveness, intention, and owning your mistakes

41:00: Clean pain and dirty pain

46:55: Some concrete practices

51:40: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! For just the cost of a cup of coffee a month you can support the show, and receive a variety of bonuses in return.

Sponsors:

Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!

Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
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• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
• Follow Forrest on Facebook
• Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, the author of The Body Keeps the Score, joins Rick and Forrest to explore how trauma keeps us stuck, and how we can use imagination, self-expression, and creativity to break away from those old patterns. Along the way they talk about using somatic and non-cognitive interventions, internalized abuse, the value of a developmental perspective, using psychedelics for complex trauma, some of the problems with modern psychiatry, and how we can cultivate an equitable, flexible, and compassionate approach to treatment.

About Our Guest: Bessel van der Kolk is a professor of Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine and president of the Trauma Research Foundation in Brookline, Massachusetts. He’s also the bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score, which is one of the most influential modern books in the field. 

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:15: Imagination and aspirational thinking in healing trauma

4:55: Creativity and cultural context

6:10: Where a sense of agency begins

8:40: Why people internalize abuse

16:30: The many practices for redefining past traumas  

22:10: The state of psychedelic research and the importance of patient care

29:15: The need for new approaches to diagnosis and treatment

34:00: Issues with the DSM-5 and the need to integrate interpersonal processes

38:50: What counts as trauma? Collective trauma?

42:25: The need for cooperative strategies confronting trauma in pro-social movements

45:15: What helps people resource themselves to create change?

51:45: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

• Subscribe on iTunes
• Follow Forrest on YouTube
• Follow us on Instagram
• Follow Forrest on Instagram
• Follow Rick on Facebook
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On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest answer questions from listeners. They explore what they’re still working on in their relationship, how we can disengage from obsessive thoughts and old patterns, Rick’s thoughts on psychedelics and how they can be used with discernment, their views on whether human nature is innately cooperative or competitive, and much more.

If you’d like to ask a question to be answered on the show, send us an email at contact@beingwellpodcast.com or support us on Patreon.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:10: What do Rick and Forrest still find challenging in their relationship?

8:40: What to do with obsessive thoughts

17:00: What to do when old patterns creep up

26:35: Rick’s thoughts on taking psychedelics with intention outside of therapy

35:05: Respect for indigenous tradition around psychedelic plant use

37:00: Interpretation, discernment, and drugs as telescopes

42:45: Compassionate justice vs. holding and controlling

47:50: How do we get the ideas we have about the world?

53:25: Recap

Sponsors:

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Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

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In 2016 Jason Kander was a rising star in the Democratic Party. After narrowly losing the race to become one of Missouri’s Senators, he began laying the groundwork for a Presidential run. Jason unexpectedly pivoted to declaring his candidacy for the 2019 Kansas City mayoral election, and quickly became the clear favorite. Three months into that campaign he ended his candidacy and stepped back from public life after revealing that he had suffered from PTSD and depression after serving as an intelligence officer in Afghanistan in 2006 and 2007

On today’s episode of Being Well, Jason joins Forrest to talk about his personal journey recovering from PTSD, the impact of his time serving in Afghanistan, imposter syndrome and shame, having a mental health challenge in public, and what we can do to better support veterans. 

About our Guest: Jason is a former Missouri Secretary of State and member of the Missouri state legislature. He’s current the President of National Expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting veteran suicide and homelessness. He’s also the host of Majority 54, a popular political podcast, and the author of Invisible Storm: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD. 

If you're in crisis, are thinking about suicide, or are concerned about a loved one, please call 1-800-273-8255. The Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:45: Jason’s experience coming to accept having PTSD

3:45: Symptoms

5:50: How the military (mostly doesn't) address PTSD

8:00: Chronic stress, public perception, feelings of failure, and uncertainty of recovery

13:40: Jason’s Veterans Affairs (VA) experience

15:40: Veteran's Community Project and other resources for veterans

20:00: Therapeutic practices Jason did

27:50: Physical sensations associated with PTSD

31:40: Imposter syndrome related to being a combat veteran

33:05: Working through shame and comparison

36:15: How Jason’s view of therapy progressed through the process

42:30: What Jason would do differently for his mental health if he ran for office again

47:05: More on Veterans Community Project and their tiny house program

51:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

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On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.

In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.

7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges

8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points

11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people

15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models

26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication

28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain

32:10: Keeping agreements

37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair

39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication

43:00: Generosity

45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need

49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort

52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”

54:30: Recap

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Everyone has needs, but many people find it difficult to identify what authentically matters to them. Even when we can identify them, shame or fear often stops us from expressing those needs to others or taking the practical steps that would help us achieve them.

Meeting our needs is a major source of well-being, and people who can identify their needs are more likely to get them met. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to look inside, and figure out what you really need. They discuss different frameworks for categorizing our needs, what to do when we are confused by our desires, and how to get in touch with what you really want.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:05: Common features among people who struggle to name their desires

7:05: Three basic steps to relate to wants and needs

8:00: Different frameworks for categorizing wants and needs

21:00: What helped Rick get in touch with his own wants and needs?

28:00: An experiential exercise

35:10: Why addressing your needs and wants is not just naval gazing

38:40: Forrest’s suggestions based on his own experience

45:25: What to do when what we want is probably not best for us

51:40: Creating a personal manifesto

54:30: Recap

New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.

Sponsors:

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Renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté joins Rick and Forrest to explore the many problems for our bodies and minds that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. They discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences.

About Our Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds, and his newest book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: What Gabor means by a toxic culture

4:25: Interpersonal biology - our physiology is modulated by our relationships

7:10: What components are needed for a healthy culture?

11:55: Examples of toxic culture’s impact on people’s behavior

15:20: Addiction

21:00: How and when to distinguish degrees of trauma

27:05: Where and when to express healthy anger

33:10: How turning against the self manifests as illness 

36:45: What supports people in returning to their authentic nature?

40:00: Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and creating a sacred context

41:45: Grief, integration, and letting go

44:55: Gabor’s relationship with his children

48:25: Five kinds of compassion, disillusionment, and truth

51:20: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?

53:25: Recap

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Sponsors:

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We all have narcissistic traits. Having some sense of our own specialness isn’t just normal, it’s actually psychologically healthy. The problems start when people go beyond normal levels, and become addicted to feeling special. On this episode, Forrest is joined by Dr. Craig Malkin to explore narcissism and narcissistic traits. They talk about the different forms narcissism takes, the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), red flags, dealing with narcissists, treatment options, and finding the “right amount” of feeling special.

About our Guest: Dr. Malkin is a Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School, a licensed psychologist with several decades of clinical experience, and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. He also has a great YouTube channel. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:35: Narcissism as a pervasive universal trait

4:10: What differentiates healthy narcissism vs. disordered narcissism?

5:45: “Triple E” - exploitation, entitlement, empathy impairments

6:45: Incapable of empathy, or unmotivated?

9:10: What distinguishes having narcissistic traits from having NPD?

13:05: Extraverted, covert, and communal narcissism

23:10: Healthy and unhealthy narcissistic traits often go together

25:20: Insecure attachment

28:30: Emotional hot potato

32:10: Social and cultural power dynamics 

36:25: What does healing narcissism look like?

42:55: What modalities do you use in therapy?

45:20: Difficult relationships, communal activation, empathy prompts

50:35: Extinction bursts and using anxiety responses in therapy

53:25: How do you repair with your partner? 

57:05: Recap

Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. 

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Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively.

About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: Why is Mollie’s new book called Big Feelings?

5:10: The useful flip side

6:45: How Mollie’s relationship to anger changed during the creation of this book

9:20: Difficult emotions as a resource and source of regulation

11:30: Unhelpful myths in how to deal with difficult emotions

16:45: Healthy responses to those myths

21:10: Vulnerability

25:50: Emotional granularity

27:05: Lengthening the time between trigger and response

30:05: Processing anxiety

35:25: How to relax the desire for control

41:45: Medication

44:10: Anxiety doesn’t accurately reflect risk

46:40: Burnout - even around things you enjoy

55:25: Comparing our suffering with others

57:05: Comparing our accomplishments with others

1:01:35: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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Receiving a diagnosis can be emotionally challenging, and leave a person with a lot of understandable questions: What does this mean? What do I do now? How do I relate to this?

On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what a diagnosis is, how the diagnostic process works, the limitations of diagnosing someone, dealing with the emotions that come up, and how we can better think about and relate to receiving a diagnosis. Throughout the conversation they focus on how we can come to understand ourselves better, and be liberated by that understanding rather than burdened by it.

ADHD is used a number of times during this conversation as an example, so if you have an ADHD diagnosis this episode could be particularly interesting.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:55: What is a diagnosis, and what is the process used to give a diagnosis?

6:50: What is the purpose of diagnosing someone?

8:50: Situating what defines pathology within our evolutionary and cultural context

11:40: Origins of mental health conditions, social environment, and privilege

14:40: How diagnosis done, and differentiating between different diagnoses

25:05: More discussion on environmental and cultural effects

31:10: Three subtypes of ADHD

33:00: The emotional complexity of receiving a diagnosis

42:30: What helps people in working through the emotions that come up?

46:35: Paying attention to your emotional experience as much as solving your problem.

49:35: Mental health awareness, resources, and support from others

51:00: Rick’s response when someone is given a diagnosis

58:50: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

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There’s been an explosion of interest in psychedelics over the last 10 years, and phrases like “psychedelic-assisted therapy” have gone from the relative fringes of the mental health conversation to bursting into the mainstream. Alongside a great deal of hype is a growing body of research revealing the potential of substances like psilocybin and MDMA as novel treatments for depression, addiction, and PTSD. 

On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by Dr. Albert Garcia-Romeu from the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research. They explore the history and current state of psychedelic research, their subjective effects, the necessity of the “trip,” how psychedelics work in the brain, why researchers are so interested in these substances, and what a psychedelic-assisted therapy session looks like.

About Our Guest: Dr. Garcia-Romeu is a member of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences faculty at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. His research examines the effects of psychedelics in humans, with a focus on psilocybin as an aid in the treatment of addiction.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:55: Dr. Garcia-Romeu’s background

3:00: What substances have been the focus of research?

8:10: The history of psychedelics

11:15: Usefulness and subjective effects of classical psychedelics (LSD/Psilocybin)

17:35: Ego loss or “ego-death” and the role of spirituality in mental health

21:40: What is happening neurologically with Psilocybin? 

27:55: Psychedelics may be the best current treatment option for some conditions

35:05: How close is the research to proving efficacy?

38:05: The relative safety of psychedelics

41:00: What does a psychedelic-assisted therapy session look like?

47:00: Self-guidance in a session

49:50: Duration of treatment, financial and legal access

54:00: Using psychedelics for personal growth, spiritual practice, and even recreation

58:00: Where is the field going?

59:25: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. 

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Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

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The median life expectancy for a man living in the United States is roughly 80 years. That works out to 960 months, 4,160 weeks, or about 29,000 days. Rick is sneaking up on 70 years old, which means, on average, he's got about 10 years – or 520 weeks – left. 

Putting the time we have left into simple numbers can be both a bit daunting and remarkably clarifying. When you're in the middle of them, the days can blur together. But the truth is that our time’s limited, and how we use it is up to us. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what's helped them come to terms with mortality, the reality of our limited time, and how we can use that knowledge to refine our focus and live a more fulfilling life.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

4:00: How Rick’s relationship with death has changed over time

11:05: Appreciating life as a comfort in accepting death

14:00: Dukkah, Tanha, and contentment

16:30: Distinguishing the ocean (reality) from the wave (ego)

21:20: Acceptance, contraction, and expansion

25:35: Finite experiences, and undelivered communications

31:30: “Life is for the living”

33:10: Giving, contribution, contentment, and fulfillment

40:05: What to do about regret?

47:40: Serenity in old age

49:00: Practical ways to hold awareness of death

55:05: Recap

Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

Connect with the show:

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Shame is one of the most complex and difficult emotions we experience on a regular basis, and one that can have seriously negative impacts on our sense of self-worth and ability to experience healthy connection with others.

On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson take a deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, and what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions. They then focus on questioning our assumptions about shame, which can help us identify where it comes from. 

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:40: The biological roots of shame

4:00: Shame's ties to our assumptions about the world 

7:00: Impropriety, and shame as a psychological stage of development

9:55: Distinguishing shame from guilt

14:00: Unnecessary shame, healthy remorse, and your own integrity system

21:55: Who decides what being good looks like?

25:40: Morality in the service of power

32:20: What helps us work with experiences of shame

38:25: Isolation and the value of sharing with others in some way

43:50: Working with your shame story

49:00: Shame, group belonging, and personal change

51:25: Recap

Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off. 

Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

Connect with the show:

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